I took a job that absolutely destroyed me. And unfortunately I think it made me develop a bipolar disorder.
>day 1, pizza delivery place. I come in. I'm dead silent. Apparently this freaks out the hippies who work there.
>girl talks to me, I put up barrier, she tears through it.
>my barrier is gone, the potential for millions of deeply laid mental issues to come bursting out is here...
>I feel like it's safe to talk about it. Tell them a little about myself. Mom burned my house down and my dad left me and I lived in the ghetto my whole life, been shot, raped, have scoliosis and carpal tunnel
>everyone is fucking terrified of me now, because now they know this combined with the fact that I'm 6'4 and have long menacing hair
>start having manic episodes because this period of talking with people is juxtaposed by lonely experiences operating heavy machinery, which is what I'm typically used to and what I signed up for
>it gets pretty heated between me and some of the people
>I start trying to perpetuate the idea that I'm a monster the time when the people started treating me like one.
>it got to the point where I just dumped my stuff outside the store and shouldn't have dealt with it
ugh, I should have took that advice from that other driver to quit day 1.
>>16759208
.......what..........
you sound like you overshared, and then started acting insane.
I'm not sure it matters where you work, Anon.
>>16759291
Yeah, I did. I thought it was an ok place to share. Guess that it's never ever really gonna ever be the case.
I only started acting insane though, when my pain started acting up and they were totally unempathetic to it. That FUCKED WITH MY HEAD bad.
>Telling a sob story at work
What the fuck is wrong with you? They probably thought you were gonna snap and kill someone.
>>16759208
Lessons learned
Don't talk about your feelings at work bruh
>>16759313
I mean it was such a casual and warm environment, I thought I could.
The people there just seemed so well adjusted and like they could live life without having a cold, dead emotionless "I'm gonna reap and take" approach to it. But there was so many fatal elements adding up that there was just an eventual explosion and I quit.
>>16759321
yeah, no matter how much it hurts and how much I desperately just want to connect with other human beings...it just can't happen.
>>16759324
>>16759322
>>16759304
Ok, I'll say this...
my coworkers are my family. I tell them stupid hoes everything. I always kind of have at all my jobs; at both shitty and corporate big adult person jobs. So I don't think oversharing was your issue.
Oversharing too quickly maybe? Yeah. And... in these comments alone, you're uhhhhhhh acting kinda insane. I don't think all these people are just uncaring robots.
>>16759336
Yeah that's what it boiled down to it sounds like.
OP just met these people, and all of a sudden blurts out about how everything in his life seems to go wrong, all while having some weird social anxiety tick while talking. It's enough to put even the most chill person on edge.
OP, if you waited like a year, or maybe even just a few months, it would have been more appropriate.
>>16759208
Anon, maybe they weren't ready for what you had to say. You should talk to them and be honest even if that means opening up again, tell them you felt safe sharing your story with them but now you feel they see you different since that episode.
Don't be ashamed of what you have lived, I recommend you talk to a therapist about these things because eveeything you mentioned were issues that should be deeply discussed with a professional. I hope you can find some meaning in the things you have come through and don't forget this: you're not a monster.
>>16759322
like nigga you just said some shit about fatal elements and eventual explosions... >FUCKED WITH MY HEAD
Do you see the shit you're writing down right now?? This is crazytalk and you for real seem like you'd gun down some folks. All while yelling NOW ITS MY TURN TO REAP AND TAKE
wtf you talk like a lost Viking
Just be cool dude. We've all been through shit, doesn't mean you can't equalize yourself with other human beings. When people at work talk to you, they don't give a shit about your past or your demons. They want to talk to the soul inside of you, the thing that we all share.
Take off the mask and love your fellow man.
>>16759346
It wasn't immediate, it was a few weeks in.
>>16759364
I mean...reap and take money. Enjoy my food and workout after I'm done. See my body grow along with my riches is gratifying. idk, maybe I am just a lost Viking.
>>16759372
I can't love my fellow man, though. I have so many demons, I just can't live my life in any other way besides as a professional.
>>16759208
sounds like they just treated the guy who obviously has issues like he's a normal person. it's probably too late for you to fully become one now. it's ok, it's not your fault, they put a lot onto you treating you in any way that's not cold. just realize this and maybe you'll do better next time.
If it gets bad, just find a new job.
In the future, keep your work life and your private life separate. Don't tell people you're entire life story unless you become good friends with your coworkers.
Don't really know what else to say, but I hope everything goes well for you.
>>16759364
And I'm not crazy I just like figurative speech...
>>16759546
Well it doesn't help that they did stuff like touch me and act overly friendly to me...i'm not fucking used to it!
Maybe you should try and get a therapist, if it's feasible. If you really want to talk to someone about these things, and find coworkers and such aren't equipped to handle it.
It might also help you figure out how to communicate to coworkers and friends better to where they ARE able to handle it - what you're interpreting as them being cold is very possibly just them being unsure as to what they're supposed to do or say in response to what you told them.
>>16759583
yeah...I just thought it was ok, but I guess only a pro can deal with the issues I have
>>16759583
And I'm better with social graces than that. Like when someone touched me I told them to back off, and I explained why. It all just gradually flowed out over time.
