I'm pretty sure that I got friendzoned hard on a date tonight and I only realized it after I got home.
This woman I am absolutely in love with told me that she is attracted to me but she likes our friendship too much to take it any further. I told her that nothing has to change, that we can still have fun together but also be in a relationship and she just clammed up for the remaining ten minutes of the ride home.
On my way home I felt good about it, like we had made progress towards being together, but now I'm realizing that she was flat out telling me that it is not going to happen.
Was this as bad as I think it was?
>>16751672
You don't love her. You're infatuated with her.
she hasn't put you in the friend zone she's just turned you down.
Your action next decided if your going to friend zone yourself or cope with it in healthy mature way.
yeah, she tried to let you down easily and you acted like a retard that didn't get the clue.
>>16751672
I should say that
>she likes our friendship too much to take it any further
is my interpretation. Her actual words were "I'm confused about where we go from here... I like our friendship."
>>16751708
no. she was just rejecting you whilst trying to not hurt your feelings. get over it and don't make it awkward.
>>16751713
Ugh, depressing as fuck because I felt like she was wife material.
>>16751725
it sucks, yes.
something made her think you aren't husband material. you could ask her or maybe you know it already. work on it.
>>16751733
Its possible its no fault of his. Sometimes, people just dont click, theres no chemistry.
>>16751733
I don't know what it could be, I own my house and my cars and I have a good career. She is physically attracted to me, the reason why we went on a date in the first place is that we expressed a mutual attraction.
Her freezing up on me has me really confused. I don't know if I said something during dinner that offended her or what..
there simply isn't enough information given to say whether or not it was bad.
was she aware this was a date?
how long have you known each other?
what was the "i like our friendship" thing prefaced by?
>>16751747
in the end, it is of no use to ponder over the reason. something you are, did or stand for made her decide that a realtionship isn't what she wants with you. it could have been that it is an abviouis thing, but as it osunds, it must be more subtle and ther's no way we will find out. something just wasn't compatible. take it as a dodged bullet cause along the way this "soemthing" would have caused a lot of troubles in a relationship. find a girl that suits you better. i know it's not easy but it's the only way
>>16751754
>was she aware this was a date?
Yep. I asked her if she wanted to go on a date, she said yes, we went to dinner.
>how long have you known each other?
About three years. We were only casual acquaintances until six months ago.
>what was the "i like our friendship" thing prefaced by?
I asked whether she wanted to try us being together.
then you tried and she rejected the offer, so you did all you could do. if you don't want to be in the friendzone with someone who doesn't want to be anything but friends with you then don't fucking be friends with them. if you're ok with being friendzoned by someone you're in love with then that's up to you.
don't really know what you mean by "bad" but it seems like a pretty clear situation to me.
>>16751762
Yeah, it just hurts since I thought it was going to be a perfect fit.
>>16751795
you see, it might have been a single remark. maybe you said something about abortion and she once had one.so she decided that she could never be absolutely honest with you. who knows. as an example.
>>16751802
I'm going to ask her what went wrong the next time I see her. She has always been very open with me in the past so I don't think it will be that big a deal.
>>16751817
good. just apprecciate it if she gives you a honest answer and don't hold it against her (like that one dude that asked why and got told that the girl isn't atraccted to black people). it might be something hurtfull.
>ask what went wrong
Ahhhh I'd strongly advise against this. It's your call but it will make you come across as a needy bitch which will substantially lower her opinion of you
>>16751842
and that's a problem because? i'd rather know what went wrong instead of worrying about somebodys opinion on me that isn't even going to be my friend.
>>16751827
I'm really curious as to what it could be. We share a lot of the same interests.
She is day shift at the hospital we work at so if I wait about an hour she will be awake.
>>16751842
It isn't going to happen so I don't see why I shouldn't ask.
I'm not going to chase her and maybe it will be something I can work on for the my next attempt at a relationship.
>>16751861
>>16751851
report back what she said.
what do you plan to ask exactly?
OP surround yourself in girls that aren't her.
Eventually you'll start wondering if you have a chance with any of those girls, and then you might get closer with them... you'll be too busy thinkin' about them and how not to fuck up with them to think about her.
Eventually, you'll forget all about her and fall for another girl.
Then rinse and repeat, never making a move on anyone ever because you're a beta, just like me and a thousand other robots and men.
We can't stop our feelings but we can stop our actions. When we learn our place, we know it's a waste of time to try,and we never get rejected.
Just move from girl to girl using them emotionally till you can't get any more out of them.
Much better that way.
>>16751888
I'm not sure. I was thinking something like "I was thinking about last night and I wanted to ask why you decided that it would be better for us to remain friends. I thought we really clicked the couple times we went out for coffee so dinner last night was really confusing for me."
>>16751920
sounds like a plan
>>16751672
>we can still have fun together but also be in a relationship
>but also be in a relationship
>relationship
she probably felt suffocated by your need to be in a relationship from the start, and she was right
next time you date a woman never talk about relationships, past or future, or anything you have planned for her for the future
>>16751817
Don't do this. Her answer will be wrong and if you take it to heart, it will just make things worse for you.
Attraction is subconscious and emotional. She'll give you a rationalization which won't actually be connected to what actually subconsciously triggers her to find men attractive.
Of course it was. She was blatantly telling you that you can't have what you want and your answer was "I'll get it later." No nigga, you get it now or that's it. Get real.
>Obsessing over 1 girl
The fact that you're so concerned about this one girl is betraying what probably turned her off: you're needy, and it's probably bubbling up to the surface of your personality in a lot of different ways.
Girls want to get fucked by men who lead other men and who other girls want to fuck. Those guys aren't needy.
I would start by forgetting about this girl, and instead spending your energy on finding other girls to date. The way to lose your neediness is to date lots of girls and realize that if some don't return your affection, that's okay, there are more out there.
I talked to her and she said that she doesn't see it working out because her and my ex work in the same unit and she doesn't want her work life to become hell due to bitchy nurses.
She said she does like me enough to want to be with me so we made another date for next week. I'm feeling pretty good, /adv/.
>>16751681
Well said, I second this.
