How do you go about accepting that the kind of pure genuine romantic love that you see in movies doesn't really exist?
I can't think of any way to go about it without turning escapist or bitter.
But it does. It's just rare, and doesn't always look like it does in movies
>>16738365
Movies really over exaggerate it, but genuine romantic love does actually exist.
>>16738381
>>16738387
Okay allow me to reword that:
How do I accept that I, specifically and in particular, am unlovable?
>>16738395
I feel like you're being too hard on yourself.
How old are you? How many relationships have you been in?
I think everyone has felt that way at one point or the other. You can either keep trying to find someone you are compatible with, or become /r9k/ tier crazy. Honestly, take care of yourself first. Love will come after that.
>>16738424
I'm 22. What counts as a relationship?
>>16738365
it does, it's just finite
romance doesn't make a relationship work forever, it's just really, really good for however long it lasts
>>16738429
If you don't know what counts as a relationship, you haven't been in any
The kind of love you are looking for will only be possible once you are happy on your own. This sounds clichée, but i'm speaking from experience. You can't possibly 1. Attract somebody that is able to give love like this and 2. Can't possibly give love lile this untill you reach that point.
Keep working on yourself. Especially the personality part. One day you will get into the "true love" territory inevitably. Some reach that level at a very young age. Others take their time. Still some never get there at all. But now that you know you can savely assume that you will get there one day. Just keep improving.
>>16738429
You're 22. You're still super young. How can you already come to the conclusion that you are unlovable?
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. Had a bunch of relationships that failed, and I felt unlovable. I met my wife when I was 27 and discovered that pure genuine romantic love. It's possible. Don't just give up on yourself.
>>16738365
Breath in, breath out...have sex don't sweat it out.
>>16738381
>>16738387
citation needed.
>>16738395
stop being cringy as fuck.
>>16738429
You need professional help if you can't define 'relationship'
>>16738448
So even if it was serious but I kind of hated my partner the whole time, it doesn't count?
>>16738455
What does it take to be happy?
>>16738456
>I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21
Well I've been chasing people since I was 14 and lost it at 18 and I've fallen in love with people and people have fallen in love with me. Unfortunately the people I love think I'm gross and people who fall for me are disgusting.
>>16738464
Well I kind of lived with a dude for two years but I was never attracted to him in any fathomable way. Imagine having a dog that always kind of wants to fuck you.
>>16738479
>So even if it was serious but I kind of hated my partner the whole time, it doesn't count?
You don't know if this counts as a relationship? Are you retarded?
>>16738464
>citation needed
I can't really speak for anyone else, but I've viewed it in other relationships and experience it in my own marriage.
>>16738487
I asked what counts and I was told if I have to ask I don't know.
What's your reading comprehension? Did you pass high school?
>>16738479
>Unfortunately the people I love think I'm gross and people who fall for me are disgusting.
That'll happen.
Again, why are you throwing in the towel so young just because of a few failed relationship attempts?
>>16738499
You had to ask if that counted in the first place. Are you a literal retard?
>>16738479
>Well I kind of lived with a dude for two years but I was never attracted to him in any fathomable way. Imagine having a dog that always kind of wants to fuck you.
You have two options, try or don't. One is more fun and will teach you stuff.
>>16738500
because he/she is a faggot.
>>16738500
Because 5-8 isn't "a few".
>>16738503
Frank? Is that you? I told you to fuck off if you find my threads.
>>16738511
>Because 5-8 isn't "a few".
Yes it is. You're not going to be long term compatible with everyone. That's what dating is for, to get to know someone well enough to see if you'll work out long term. A lot of times it just won't work.
>>16738524
So what, I just fuck through every faggot on grindr and THEN cry that I'm only getting used?
I hate sex.
>>16738531
What?
Tried four relationships that ranged from meh to lasting emotional damage. By that point I'd pretty much called it quits on relationships or finding love. Then I met a guy who I'd originally intended to just be a FWB. We kissed for the first time and some part of me kind of got the sense that this wasn't going to stay as FWB. Eventually he asked to be exclusive, and I said yes and actually meant it for once.
It's been over 5 years since and I'd say love exists
>>16738544
I am gay.
Men either love me or I love them. The two are mutually exclusive.
Men also either want to fuck me or I want to fuck them. The two are also mutually exclusive.
>>16738531
> I hate sex
congratulations you hate one of the most basic human functions and one that makes us unique as a species because of the way we think of it.
You don't go on a fuck spree dumbass,you go out and have standards and 'have fun', if you can't or aren't able to do that you will have a hard time finding someone that actually takes iinterest in you.
>>16738564
You don't know how men work do you.
If I go out and find some dude on grindr and invite him over, he's going either dick me or put my teeth in. My choice.
>>16738556
Maybe stop meeting people on grindr?
>>16738479
>what does it take to be happy?
Whoa, you come here with quiet the questions anon.
In my case, i needed to go to therapy. I needed to go trough my "life so far" and do a lot of understanding and forgiving. Then i had to work on the present. You know, the things they allways tell you. Take care of yourself, work on your relationships with family and friends, find a job you like going to, and so on. However, this will only work after you have gone trough phase one. Else it will just be like trying to cover up bad acne with makeup.
The next step would then be the fine-tuning. Things like working on your soft skills, your selfesteem, finding freetime activities that help you unwind whilst honing your "uniqueness". Love is something that requires another human being that's willing to let you in that deeply. If you aren't GENUINELY and to the bone somebody that has a hearth full of love, nobody will want to open up that much. And that love can't just be directed at a few selected people that you happen to consider quiet neat. It needs to be way bigger
>>16738575
I'm a guy dumbass.
> looking for guys on grindr
> kek
>>16738587
Where else do you meet guys? There isn't even a gay bar anywhere near here.
>>16738591
And what if I can't afford therapy?
I've had people fall in love with me. Just the ugly, creepy ones, though. The kind of faces you don't want to kiss for free.
>>16738611
first off, checked.
> Where else do you meet guys? There isn't even a gay bar anywhere near here.
approach? or die lonely?
> I've had people fall in love with me. Just the ugly, creepy ones, though. The kind of faces you don't want to kiss for free.
that happens
>>16738624
So I just keep getting fucked by gross dudes until prince charming just magically falls into my lap?
And you didn't answer the therapy thing.
>>16738365
it does you're just meeting women in the wrong place. Try church i'm not even joking.
>>16738642
...Stop fucking the gross dudes?
I'm starting to get the feeling that this is just a troll thread, which is too bad, because some anons actually posted some really nice stuff.
>>16738656
That doesn't really help if you're not religious.
>>16738656
I'm gay. Meeting dudes in a church might sound like a super hilarious idea but I don't want to get killed.
>>16738675
No, I'm dead serious. How am I supposed to meet a guy if I don't meet guys?
>>16738680
i'm not religious. But i'm also not a fedora wearing atheist either. So I don't melt when i step foot in a church
>>16738395
>How do I accept that I, specifically and in particular, am unlovable?
>I've had people fall in love with me
wut
>>16738688
I'm not going to find a dude to marry from a church. And I'm not one of those people who can always tell if someone's gay, I've literally guessed wrong 100% of the times I've tried.
>>16738690
I've had like two guys have a crush on me and a third one fall stupidly head over heels. all unattractive, unfortunate-faced guys you don't really want to sit in the same room with.
I don't know if they just think they have a chance since I'm as ugly as they are or whether the simple act of being interested in me automatically makes someone repulsive. It just happens.
>>16738685
>I have to fuck ugly dudes on grindr
>THAT THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY TO MEET GUYS!!!
This is why people aren't taking you seriously.
>>16738688
Going to church for the sole purpose of meeting women seems a bit trashy. Also, I'm not sure why meeting someone in a church would be any better from meeting them anywhere else.
>>16738708
I'm not gay, but i'm willing to be opening to the idea of marrying you if you strike a good argument.
Go ahead, convince me. (it has to be compelling again, i'm not gay, and it would be pretty tough to become gay for you, but again i'm open)
>>16738719
because they most likely have traditional values, and most likely aren't feminist, SJW art majors.
>>16738727
Eh, you'd be surprised. Some of the worst girls I know are regular church goers.
>>16738710
>need to find guys
>no way to find guys except grindr
>only ugly guys are interested
>if you ask a guy on a date, he will fuck you
>if you don't want to fuck a dude, you don't go out with one
I'm not seeing where you fail to see the logic.
>>16738723
You can't convince people into changing sexual orientation. I can make nice girls like me but I can't make nice guys like me, that alone should be enough of a compelling argument to switch sides.
too bad it doesn't fucking work like that.
>>16738743
That was horrible, im not convinced at all anon. You gotta work on your game
>>16738743
>I'm not seeing where you fail to see the logic.
>grindr or nothing
This is where people fail to see the "logic." Grindr or eternal loneliness are not the only options. It may be what you're most comfortable with currently, but it it by far not the only option.
>>16738761
If you think you can name other realistic options, feel free to list them.
>>16738766
Meeting them literally anywhere else.
Do you think people only exist on grindr?
So what if you've struck out in the past?
>>16738766
move to San-Francisco
You know what? OP obviously wants to be miserable. You can't change his mind.
OP, you're right. You can't be loved. Good luck with getting fucked in the ass by ugly dudes for the rest of your life.
>>16738773
>Meeting them literally anywhere else.
You don't just walk up to a dude and gamble that he's gay. You get killed doing that.
>>16738780
How hard is it to get an american citizenship?
>>16738829
>how hard is it to get an american citizenship
Pretty hard if you don't have any useful skills to bring to the country. PhD etc.
>>16738836
idk I didn't pass university entrance exams and I have no marketable skills outside of sucking dick.
>>16738859
Become syrian citizen, get on boat become syrian refugee status in america
Good luck in syria, survive a few months and you'll make it to america
>>16738395
>How do I accept that I, specifically and in particular, am unlovable?
By changing the things that make you unlovable, so that the statement is no longer true (if it ever even was, which is somewhat doubtful). People tell tou to "be yourself" assuming that you've already BUILT yourself, which isn't aleays the case. For all I know, it moght not be in yours.
>>16738927
>By changing the things that make you unlovable
How do I locate the problem?
>>16738829
>You don't just walk up to a dude and gamble that he's gay. You get killed doing that.
And a straight person doesn't just walk up to a girl and ask her if she wants sum fuk. Talk to people. Expand your social circles.
>>16739086
>And a straight person doesn't just walk up to a girl and ask her if she wants sum fuk
Yes they do. My female friends complain about them doing that all the time. It never works, apparently, but they 100% absolutely do that.
How many friends do I gotta get before one of them is gay and actually nice?
How do you even make people want to be your friend?
