>Get out of long-term relationship with porn addict
>Would tell me about all the things that were wrong with me and show me the girls I should look like
>Would break off plans with me to look at porn instead or cam girls (after 3 years of dating)
>In a new relationship
>Porn is terrifying now
I know that basically all dudes look at porn or at least hot girls, but every time I even think about it or see a hint of my boyfriend looking at other girls, I feel like killing myself.
How do I get over this?
How do I become okay with the fact that my boyfriend watches porn?
How do I become comfortable with myself and not feel like I'm a worthless, disgusting, piece of trash who will never please a man?
>>16706527
The reason men look at pornography is the same reason why women would cheat on them. Believe me. I'm trying my best to get past it for the betterment and lie to myself to encourage myself that I've defeated the addiction. Also I'd please her more than her trying to please me.
>>16706536
You are not a worthless, disgusting, piece of trash who will never please a man, period.
>>16706536
>The reason men look at pornography is the same reason why women would cheat on the
I tried my best not to believe this
I would never cheat on my boyfriend, that's deplorable
>>16706536
Also there are guys who are a lot different from the spectrum of cheating and all this stupid stuff. Don't worry about the stigmatism okay.
>>16706543
That's good. But to me honestly the addiction is built up from not having a girlfriend or wife that's why some of these guys here look at it. Men in their 40s who are virgins look at the stuff because they have never had a girlfriend in their life.
>>16706550
So it's a double edged sword. Porn no girl friend no girl friend porn. That's the sad truth of it. Also I cleaned myself of my fears after doing research.
>>16706550
But we've been together for almost a year now
My feelings haven't changed and I know he jacks off to porn every time I leave, so I'm terrified to leave the house
I'm done with feeling this way and will probably end up killing myself this week.
My paranoia won't benefit anyone on earth and at this point, it's eaten up all my thoughts about my current relationship and will cause nothing but problems
I'd rather he be happy and me never have the option to fall in love again, because it'll be the same shit over and over again
>get out of long-term relationship with abusive girlfriend
>alcoholic
>is aggressive, emotionally abusive, belittling
>socially isolates me, undermines friendships, family relationships
>gaslights me, makes me believe I am worthless
>snaps into a furious rage at the drop of a hat, unpredictable, violent
>women are terrifying now
except I'm not a moron and understand that one experience with someone like this does not mean every experience is going to be like this
still... I understand what having baggage is like. but u gotta understand it's a single data point in an extremely wide range of humans on the planet
>>16706527
Another thing is that I could say blue to one person and it comes out indigo and ends up being violet. Kids don't know anything so they jump with the first judgement and do it nonstop when they know they are wrong. That is why butch gays exist. Because they're all like: "DUDE I'M STRAIGHT (but I want a dude) NAH I'M STRAIGHT." Me, "Purely chick. May have looked at intersex stuff, but that's because in my mind... Well it was dirty and I had a strong interest... so... Just realize stuff's crazy. You don't have to pull out the stuff. Accept it as it is. And believe me stupid is stupid no doubt about it and don't feed into stupid. Here at 4chan we've dealt with several stupid. Remember a bike and a car may act the same but are completely different. By the way that is hard to disect but I'll try: Bike: two wheels, Car: 4 wheels. But wait can't a car have two wheels like a Bike if it's going through stuff. Car put foot on pedal. But your able to put your pedal on a bike right? And you can compare and contrast all you want, but a bike is a bike and a car is a car. Believe me this shit happens a lot. I may be the type of person open with it, but that's because I'm showing humanity. And humans aren't perfectly anything. I'll even say the tops aren't perfect and also the tops dealt with just as much shit but kept it private for a reason. I still remember what was said by the guy in Borune Idenity, forgot his name. Said not to talk about your past. So yeah you get the point right?
>>16706527
So yeah Mary Jane, don't worry. I meant that as a compliment not as an insult.
>>16706591
I know it's not going to happen again, but I get scared without trying
It just happens and I wish it didn't, because I know he's a normal dude and is really sweet
>>16706602
>>16706594
I think you might have issues
if he watches porn call him a troglodyte and take the non blunt side of a hammer to his balls
>>16706602
OR A WAY TO GET IN YOUR PANTS
AND I CAN GET THE LIST OUT. BUT STILL IT WAS MEANT AS A COMPLIMENT. xD hahahahahahahahahahaha
Not EVERY guy with a girlfriend will still feel the need to masturbate to porn. Right?
>>16706608
Yes I'm crazy... But I'm learning to overcome it. And you are crazy too...
>>16706622
I'll tell you I'm trying alright. And besides I wrote this so OP will sympathize. Man, communication is difficult especially on a forum where I see numbers.
>>16706614
Good news is I talk crazy and as a result get to focus on things I need. But believe me I will continue trying.
>>16706642
>>16706627
>>16706622
>>16706612
>>16706602
>>16706594
Please see professional help
>>16706527
I look at porn because the women are way fucking better looking than my girlfriend and its nice when she doesn't want to do it. Fucking deal with it, ladies, you're the best we could do and there are lots of hot girls out there we imagine fucking. Porn stars offer us an outlet for that.
>>16706642
Also every guy is going to have a creepy side. Me it's talking too much and being a nerd. But I'm trying still. I'm about to vote coming up. Yep probably thinking I have some devil magic or some weird thing going on, but it's just talking too much. Chatty is the word.
>>16706647
Men are truly pigs
I hope you die in a fucking fire
>>16706653
Aw I'm sorry. Did I burst your little bubble that you're "the most beautiful girl in the world to me" lie your man tells you? Tough shit, sweetie.
>How do I get over this?
By remembering that your ex was an outlier. Yes, most men look at porn. Most men will also put their woman first, won't cancel plans just to rub one out, and so on. Speaking for myself, its just a release for stress and built up tension.
>>16706536
>The reason men look at pornography is the same reason why women would cheat on them.
lol
>>16706644
Oh I'm in a straight jacket and am inside one of the most craziest aslyums in the world. They didn't keep me in so I escaped. >:)
(Laughing at next reaction) Nah dude I'm alright I already talk to a therapist and take medication. And people are fine. Also 4chan has dealt with a lot worse than this. Also don't talk like me if it's weird or creepy, just don't. I'm socially awkward and am trying to find ways to communicate. Christ I'll tell you the funniest guy I heard at an office was this guy who told constantly about this conspiracy theory dealing with extra terrestials with tanks under the sea. It was just so damn cool I had to hear more.
Human beings right? Now if you don't mind I'm going back to my space ship back to Andromeda xD hahahahahahahahahaha.
>>16706653
>Men are truly pigs
Maybe, hope you're not guilty of something similarly disgusting.
>>16706665
Dude there are girls who look at freaking yaoi and go to Rule 34 just as much as guys. They're just closeted about it.
>>16706665
Also the ones who don't go to porn go to sex. And other than that they just keep it in and well...... Alright uhm.... I'm going to hold up my shield and prevent the hellfire and brimstone coming my way....
Time and patience. You've essentially been trained to have a specific reaction to porn because of a bad experience. This is normal.
When the fear hits you, take a step back. Remind yourself that this is because of past experience and that does not determine the future. Acknowledge the fear, use logic to figure out your next move, and proceed with the logical move.
When you spend time with someone who doesn't reaffirm the fear, your brain will be retrained. You can also make an extra effort to work on it yourself by breaking the cycle of fear through something like distraction, and then rewarding yourself when you don't react with fear. Classical conditioning works, even on humans.
My husband had been in a similar situation, most of his previous girlfriends had at one point cheated on him, and even though he logically knew that I wouldn't do that (we;'d known each other for years and he trusted me), he couldn't stop the kneejerk response. But that went away with time and proof. There was one time where it seemed like I was going to block him from seeing my computer, and his brain started giving off warning signals, so I let him see my history because I had nothing to hide. Things like that to put him at ease, and after a year or so it hasn't been a problem at all.
You learned how to dislike porn, you can unlearn that in the same way.
If it helps, my husband watches porn, too, but it's only a tool to help him masturbate when I'm not there or if I've fallen asleep or when I'm not in the mood. It's something he watches at most once a day and then he's done, and our sex life has not suffered at all because of it, even after 7 years of being together. It's just there when the mood doesn't line up, which happens sometimes. That's what normal porn use look like, not a replacement but more like the visual equivalent of a vibrator.
>>16706681
you seem nice.
> It's something he watches at most once a day
seems healthy
Just for hilarity this is me right now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeY0yPqibb0
This freaking verification thing irritates me. I mean really it's all like click here, click here, WELL WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO reCAPTCHA
>>16706657
Says the same as
>>16706681
Yet the former gets shit on. More women double standards I see.
>>16706694
That usually happens when I'm on my period. We have sex regularly when I'm not.
I masturbate to porn because I live in a long-distance relationship and I'm not always with my girlfriend, and even when I'm with my girlfriend, we don't always have sex. And always is meant almost literally, because I've got a huge sex drive.
I get violently horny and filled with testosterone-driven madness if I don't do anything about it. Of course, masturbating more doesn't solve the issue, so...
Sigh. Fucking is just really fun. How does anyone expect me to lay off that? There aren't even any mammoths to hunt or something.
>>16706566
If you keep his balls empty he won't have the will to look at porn. If he does he is probably a sex addict and beyond your help anyway.
>How do I become comfortable with myself and not feel like I'm a worthless, disgusting, piece of trash who will never please a man?
Good to know that social media acts both ways. I wish all men were as addicted as your bf, maybe women would learn their place already.
>>16706694
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elwood-d-watson/pornography-addiction-amo_b_5963460.html
AT LEAST I DON'T BUY PORN UNLIKE SOMEBODY! I MEAN REALLY reCAPTCHA REALLY
Girl's possible reaction: Well if he is like this crazy person then he must be like this crazy person. NO THEY ALL ARE LOUGY AND DESERVE TO BE LOCKED UP. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOUGY IS EITHER.
If you don't want your boyfriend looking at porn, suck his dick at least two times a week.
>>16706527
Look, any man that has girls that look like this >>16706720 willing to fuck him has a ton of money.
And brains- we're not gonna be rude to you.
If we don't like what we see, then we won't waste your time, and if we do, then you can be my little girl for a week and eat steak and caviar- we're not gonna try to make you feel bad about yourself, as long as you make me feel good (you will)
Guys have an intense sex drive. If you don't fulfill that, he'll go to porn because his dick's throbbing unless he's a man-whore.
>tfw my gf is secure and trusting of me because i look at no porn while in relationships
>makes sex a million times better
You guys shkuld really try it, shit's great
>>16707701
>gf
>relationship
Of course anon- daddy wouldn't want his little girl looking at lewd things or getting jealous.
If daddy meets another friend she can introduce herself and they can be best friends! (drama and bullshit)
>>16706614
Not every guy, but right now the percentage is very slim. I don't jack it while in a relationship and have only a few friends who do the same.
>>16707711
Nah you just have to really want to do it. Before i used to watch a ton of porn; it terribly killed my drive. So i quit for to see the contrast and i really enjoy sex a lot more now. Bjs have the biggest difference. Now it feels pathetic whenever i have to jerk it myself
>>16706527
Define "please a man."
If you need to be the sole source of lustful input for a man, you're screwed. Totally screwed. Heterosexual men like hot women, plural. So we look at other women, fantasize about other women, jerk off to other women, and some even fuck other women while in a nominally monogamous relationship.
Only that last one is one that should be regarded as a problem. Because here's the secret: for most men, masturbation and sex are two completely different things. To go into detail on that would take far longer than pretty much anyone here would care to read, but take my word on it. Men fantasize simply to fantasize, it is private and has nothing to do with you. In fact, it's only a problem if you interfere with it.
Put another way, you're being obnoxious and selfish in fussing about your man's privacy, leave it the fuck be.
You do not need to be the only woman on the planet to "please a man." If he's with you, you're pleasing him. Chill.
porn makes men stay single. The equivalent female demographic is for the cat ladies and single moms that never recovered any beauty postpardum.
>>16707740
Exactly! And I mean crap. Men aren't perfect. Look at nature notice the animals how they react? I mean crap and you know that this shit occurs a lot in life. Where you'll believe because of a lot pile of shits that looked good and used you that the next one is a pile of shit that looked good and is going to use you. How about this, being a guy from the streets I can tell you that fucking douchebags go to you if you let them fuck you up. Which is why I avoided parties, speaking to mass here and only. I avoided parties as a kid after hearing about the nonsense that happened. A girl bragging nonstop about giving a guy the D and my god the annoying figures that would brag the shit out of everything that was disgusting and nasty and some of them would destroy the place they lived in because they got so fucked up it was ridiculous. I don't get my taste in girls really so far I've been after the crappy party ones that would lead me to a shitty life as a McDonalds worker. I mean really I try so hard for some of these girls and they don't recognize at fucking all. Because of some drug-wasted degenerate just wants to get them in a paralyzed state. Sorry girls, but that is reality. I mean fucking shit. I was asked out one time in high school and after hearing about what she did and how she reacted disgusted me really. (not trying to be social class judgemental) even two of my friends who go through shit to make it by avoid that stuff. "HEY GIRL I GOT NICE SHIT!" "Oh he's the nice guy from around the corner you should come with us!" Yeah I think fucking smokey the bear was right all along.
>>16706527
by realizing that your shitty ex-boyfriend wasn't shitty because he looked at porn a lot, it was because he was a shitty person.
>>16706647
Can't even get hot girlfriend
Kek
>>16706527
>be me
>john cena
>classic joke my froend
>;:^)
>>16707806
TOP KEK
I used to watch porn pretty frequently when I fapped, but after entering a relationship, I just can't.
It doesn't get me off anymore. I could be super into it but no matter what I'll lose interest and my thoughts will eventually drift to fucking her instead.
>>16706527
I really hope this gets through. I don't want OP to join the majority of western society believing that men are animals and we can't control ourselves. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHAMING.
I am a guy fighting to quit porn. I sold my laptop and I am going to replace my smartphone with an older phone. I do it, because nothing else worked.
I don't want to watch porn, but I've conditioned myself do it. I will stay away from personal internet access until I condition myself to lust after a real girl. Because I am not an animal and can control (or at least steer) my sexuality.
>>16706527
>Would break off plans with me to look at porn instead or cam girls
L O L
O
L
>>16707740
Please stop talking in generalizations. Some "men" on here thinking jerking off to traps doesn't make them gay, that doesn't mean it's true.
I'll give up 3D porn, but never 2D
Thoughts on this?
Firstly: you were in a relationship where your boyfriend's porn was a way for him to pretty much abuse you, and now you're uncomfortable with a partner who is involved with it in any way.
That's a perfectly understandable reaction, you aren't worthless, disgusting, or a piece of trash because of that.
As for how you get over it, and become okay with him watching porn: the best thing would be to simply talk it out with him. Start with explaining what happened before, if you're comfortable doing that, and then explaining that because of that it's something that makes you a little uncomfortable.
Just remember: he doesn't realise at all that he's doing something which upsets you. Make sure that comes across when you chat to him: the problem isn't HIM, and the problem isn't you either; it's the porn and how it was used against you by another person.
Been with boyfriend for a while, I still watch porn, he does occasionally too (I think not as often as me but I can't know for sure). It's fine. It's not like he will develop an emotional bond with the chicks he's seeing there or will even remember their faces after he's done. You relieve some tension, close all tabs, feel a bit ashamed of yourself and go about your business. 0 change in how you feel towards your partner.
So I guess you should start watching porn? Whatever girl just be happy, life is too short to be that controlling. You owe yourself some respect, your self-worth can't depend on whether some dude gets off to porn actresses or not. Best of luck!
>>16708489
I guess you feel the same when you fuck someone else?
>>16706527
Porn is fucking irrelevant here. You dated a crazy as fuck person, for way too fucking long.
>How do I become comfortable with myself and not feel like I'm a worthless, disgusting, piece of trash who will never please a man?
Do something with your life, you'll automatically become confident in time and won't let others define your self worth.
>>16706663
You've passed the line of "socially awkward" a long time ago. Like, way passed.
>>16708506
No, another human is involved at that point.
>>16706698
Please, I'm begging you to fuck off. Or at least not be so cringeworthy.
>>16708389
It's not control if you have to make it physically impossible for you to look at porn. Control would be having access, but CHOOSING not to do it. So what you said actually makes it look like you have zero control over yourself, thanks for making us look even worse pal.
>>16708392
>Please stop talking in generalizations.
No. I shouldn't need to add "somes" and "mosts" to every claim I make when it's obviously implicit.
And just curious, if someone claims to be straight but is gay because he jerks off to traps, does that make a gay guy straight if he jerks off to traps too? Interesting logic.
And yes, I already know your answer is that they're both faggots, I'm just calling you an idiot.
>>16706527
>How do I get over this?
By realizing you're a person and not a sex object to a man like a pornstar is.
>How do I become okay with the fact that my boyfriend watches porn?
You already know every guy watches porn, you could tell him you don't like it or play it off as being jealous.
>How do I become comfortable with myself and not feel like I'm a worthless, disgusting, piece of trash who will never please a man?
Please a man, but then be careful you don't feel like a slut.
>>16709975
No. I can control myself my cutting access to porn. Control doesn't imply sheer willpower. I may have low willpower to overcome a decade long habit, but I am in control, because I have a way of dealing with it.
>>16706527
>>16706536
Fuck off tumblr. This is perhaps the most retarded post I have read this week.
>>16710429
Not from tumblr.
>>16710502
Jesus you again. How do you know?
>>16710429
Oh and if you are into tumblr here is the link.
https://www.tumblr.com/
>>16710422
What I'm saying is that you're not controlling your urge to watch porn, which is what you implied, you're just controlling whether you have access to it or not. Sure, you can control whether you can watch porn or not, but we're discussing whether you can control the want to watch porn when you have access to it.
