One of these again
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Tell me your problems and I'll give you advice. I'm probably massively underqualified but maybe I'll help you out anyway.
I have no time.
you see, i'm 25 years old about to get my law degree. I have a 5 year old daugther who i live with. I must work part time and i literally have no life besides my duties and some sporadic 4chan browsing. I'm sooo boooored but still got 1 year to start working... Only to pay my fucking studies loan (about 35k). Be born on a poor family in a shitty 3rd world country sucks.
>>16702831
That does sound shitty. Do lawyers make a lot where you live?
Couldn't hurt. I'm 24, KV, ex-NEET. Falling hard for a girl who has a boyfriend, and likely no romantic interest in me at all.
I'm finding more often lately, the days I don't see her, the worse I feel. I lack the motivation to do pretty much anything other than work and sleep.
My emotions are starting to stress me out and I'm worried that it might be too much.
>>16702846
Yeah is not that bad i think on 3rd year of work i'd be making around 45k a year (and it gets better the more time it goes on... I am quite talented and confident that money wont be an issue). I am indeed cheerfull about future is just present that sucks.
How do I give up on my internet addiction? I'm in college to be a graphic designer, so working long hours on the computer is inevitable. I lose focus too easily and I don't ever seem motivated enough to challenge myself to change.
How do I become detached (enough) from internet use while maintaining a career that exists almost solely on the computer?
>>16702852
You'll get over it. Trust me i was in that situation before,it worse more than you cause i even cry whenever I opened my eyes in the morning. Just thinking about him leaving my country to be back with his gf in another country really killing me. But i got over it now. It's been 2 months passed. Now I'm happy for him with his gf.
>>16702852
Do you have any activities or hobbies to distract yourself? I know the pain of trying to get over someone who is dating someone else...it's good that you're trying not to be around her and you have to get over that initial hump of loss before you start feeling better.
>>16702864
Yeah at least you have that to look forward to. A year does seem long but once you start working at your career you'll feel much better.
>>16702869
I know that there are programs/apps out there to limit internet use. How much does your education require you to use the internet if at all?
What it means when a guy I talked to for a while from nowhere just asking me if i had a bf?
>>16702883
I need to access the school website to turn in assignments, as well as looking up videos to teach myself how preform a certain function (either in coding, design, video, etc). I do most of my projects through the adobe suite. Though it's not internet based, it's still on the computer.
>>16702883
Browsing the internet, playing video games. I'd be working on my car, but I have nowhere to do that right now.
I'm 23 and I'm a fucking square. I work in IT, eight hours a day I sit in an office on a computer wearing shitty business casual clothes getting paid a nice salary. I'm engaged to a great woman, I live in a safe area, I have a working car, I'm building toward financial security. I got to bed at 10:00 so I can wake up at 7:00 and get home at 5:00.
When I get home I just wanna get drunk and fuck around like a lazy piece of shit, you know? I just chill out at home with a beer or two and listen to neoretro/synthwave music while I browse 4chan. My fiancee works nights so I'm usually home alone on the weekdays.
How can I be more cool?
How old are you and does it ever get better?
I'm not sure if I should still try one or two more years.
>>16702890
Probably wants to know if you're single so he can flirt with you.
>>16702893
If I remember correctly there are programs you can download to block specific sites for an allotted time. I don't use anything like that myself so I suggest looking around yourself.
>>16702920
I suggest trying difficult or new tasks since that will require a lot of attention. Obviously make sure it's something you enjoy as well so you're not just giving yourself a headache.
>>16702921
Are you enjoying yourself? I don't think being "cool" matters so much as being happy. Maybe go get drunk at a bar and try to meet some people.
>>16702935
I'm 23.
Depends on what you want to get better, but I would say yes. A year of therapy and some meds later I'm doing a lot better than I was for the first 20 years of my life.
>>16702943
>Are you enjoying yourself?
No. I have plenty of friends I hang out with on weekends but my job is boring as hell and I feel like my work schedule doesn't leave me a lot of time to do stuff during the week.
>>16702951
I suppose it's time to give up then, thanks for the reply though.
>>16702955
Maybe pick up a small hobby or something you can do with the few hours you have at home. If you're being productive you might feel better about yourself.
>>16702965
What are you wanting to get better?
I try to live by "be slow to anger and deliberate of action ". Problem is that the failings of others tends to get blamed on me. Even if I am sure something is not my fault I still talk a lot of what people say into consideration and it makes it hard for me to tell if I'm actually fucking up or not. Sorry I can't be more clear.
>>16702955
Become a meme man like me and do 2 16h days with one 8. I'm not op tho.
>>16702978
take a lot*
>>16702669
Quick backstory:
>came out of a big crisis
>always was a lazy slob
>fell into several traps
>still a student but I threw college to make some honest money to get out of dept
I have a destination but in my eyes its not reachable, I'm young but poor. I've always lived the poor live and I've always been an Outsider so far. All my friends work but I dont want to beg in them for money..
Everyone Sees poor guys as the criminals and that really puts myself in a bad light, I really want to shine but I have no idea where to go from now.
this girl I was dating for 3 weeks was the first girl I fucked in almost a year, actually really liked her too since she was a lot cooler than my exes. we were planning our next date for whenever we were both free, and then one day she stopped replying for a few days. eventually she called me back to tell me that her mother across the country got cancer, she was very upset and seemed like she might want to travel back to see her. Said she wanted some time off from dating.
I'm still not sure if she's using it as an excuse, I mean I'd like to think that she'd feel like she could open up to me or come to me for support about it. I gave her her space, haven't messaged her in almost a week, i figured i should wait 2 or 3 weeks before even sending a "hey, how are you holding up?" kind of message. she was very friendly about it, seemed mostly upset about her mother and said she had been a complete mess after she heard.
i mean, i even have dates with two other girls and all i can think of is the dates/nights I spent with her for those 3 weeks... i really want to date her again. she seemed like solid gf material.
pic sort of related, our first kiss was watching the force awakens together.. also we kind of look like finn and rey.
I'm 21, NEET, soon to be broke and homeless. Seemingly unemployable thanks to a shitty local economy, being a college dropout, the 1.5 year gap in my resume, and the fact that I'm a complete autist who can't talk to an interviewer without fucking everything up.
I want to kill myself before my life gets significantly worse, but every method seems either prohibitively difficult, unfairly traumatizing to bystanders, or unlikely to succeed at all. I'm a bitch when it comes to pain and I really, really don't want to end up in the hospital.
>>16703016
If you have only known her the three weeks you've been dating she probably isn't comfortable opening up to you about such an emotional thing. I think you should manage your expectations, she's probably having a very hard time right now and needs more than just a few weeks to cope.
>>16702998
I guess the idea is to find what you like and figure out how that can translate to a career...I know that sounds obvious and stupid but I kept hitting walls when I focused on money rather than what I would enjoy. When I figured out what I liked doing the career path came easily.
>>16703029
The most successful suicide attempts usually involve firearms.
I would say that if you've worked in the past then finding another job is not impossible. If you end up becoming homeless there may be non-profit services in your area to help you out. Suicide may seem like a good idea now but things aren't hopeless.
>>16703040
I know what I love, I love the arts, but I am infront of a big wall and guess I'm trying to hard climbing it, I turned my live 180 degrees in 2 months and hit the wall instanly, now I'm in snooze mode again.
I'm trying to do everything at once but while doing that I even forget about the important things sometimes
I can finally feel my body working with me but theres still some chains holding me back to unlock my true potential
I'm very kind hearted, I have nothing but still try to give everything I can
>>16703096
It sounds like you are suffering from some depression. I've gone through this as well...some days you can power through it but it might be good to get help so you learn how to motivate yourself. Have you ever spoken to a therapist or anything like that?
I got this friend who has a bf, shes been with him for about 1 year 1/2, she loves him but recently our other friend came out of the closet and told her his feelings for her, she has feelings for him too, but doesnt want to leave her bf.
Basically she loves them both but doesn't want to do the one or the other choice, because she feels like a whore, what should she do?
>>16703106
Anything for me m8? >>16702978
>>16702978
Sorry I missed your post.
I think you have the same problem I have been learning to deal with - not having a strong sense of judgement or being sure of making your choices. I think it's important to remember that others will be quick to place the blame so they don't have to take responsibility. Usually your first instincts are correct if you are a rational person.
>>16703124
First off that doesn't make her a whore.
Unless the second person is more compatible with her, she should probably stick with the established relationship.
>>16703142
>I think you have the same problem I have been learning to deal with - not having a strong sense of judgement or being sure of making your choices. I think it's important to remember that others will be quick to place the blame so they don't have to take responsibility. Usually your first instincts are correct if you are a rational person.
Yeah. It's very odd for me because while that very much is the case I stick to what I choose to do and stand by my judgement. At the same time I have that wavering in the back of my mind at times and I dunno what to do with it. I'll just keep on doing what I have been.
>>16703142
>>16703124 <- im this fag
anyways she says that she told the other guy to just to go away (not in a bad way), but the other friend wont listen, he loves her.
And eh, they both seem good for her.
>>16703154
Yeah it's best to stick to your guns, only you know why you did what you did, or if it was the right thing to do in that situation. It's good to be open to other perspectives though.
>>16703156
If he was a good guy he would respect her wishes not harass her. I still think it's better to stick with the bf since they have been together for a while so there is more investment in that relationship.
>>16703170
I was thinking that too, but their friends and he isnt the fucker who gives up, honestly it annoys my shit when they are together, but she has said that she has feelings for him and that she wants to give him a chance too.
>>16703181
Well, she can't have her cake and eat it too unless her bf wants an open relationship or something.
I'm off to bed, best of luck everyone.
I've been generally depressed for years, and it's starting to manifest itself into hate. I hate myself, I hate the people around me, I feel like no one really likes me despite what they say / don't say. All I want is to be alone, I'm 22 years old and I just feel like I'm dying. I just wish I would live in be middle of nowhere with no one around me and I could survive with little to no interaction with people, other than maybe a few like minded people.
>>16703224
Not OP, but I am staying up for another couple hours and willing to give out some advice if others can help me with mine to.
>>16703249
Its all about searching for the right people who have a mind like yours, isolation may seem great at first but if you aint got at least some interaction (even online) it can create more depression within.
Me and my girlfriend are both 16 and in highschool. We've been dating for like a month and a half and before that she was in a year long relationship. She was basically my first kiss but she isnt a virgin and has gone way farther than me. It bothers me so much thinking about her having sex before me and I cant figure out why. We've done pretty much everything except sex and idk if i wanna lose my virginity to someone who isnt losing theirs. Idk if am i overthinking this or if I will actually regret it
>>16703304
Hmm it depends fag, if you really think you actually have a thing for this girl then why not?
A good amount of people have lost theirs to other various causes, so you are lucky you are stopping and thinking right now, but either way your going to regret both decisions, its which one will you regret less.
I'm in a long distance relationship now. He's cheated on me while we lived together. I'm starting to feel myself get distant from him emotionally. Like I don't even care if he is messing around. What should I do?
>>16703325
End it. Obviously
>>16703328
I agree also, theres no need to stick with that fag.
He was my first kiss to first And only. I've been in this relationship for 5 years. How would I go about being single? What is it like on the other side? kek
First kiss to first time^
>>16703325
>>16703341
Are you the same fag?
If you are I can tell you that being single is better as you don't have to rely on someone else. Also you can date someone else, you just gotta find someone you like.
Yeah you might have been with eachother for 5 years but sometimes it takes that long to realize he isnt the one, first kiss is a special thing, but it isn't something to keep a relationship for.
Backstory
>Was really into this chick
>Told her how I felt in two months ago. I got rejected and I was pretty sad
>Today, I don't want to date her, or even spend time with her but she still on my mind.
How do I get her off my mind? I'm hanging out with friends, enjoying my hobbies, talking to other girls and in general just keeping myself busy. None of our social media is still connected and I don't see her usually but I still think about her too much.
Best friend asked me out. I asked her to lunch and she cancelled the day of. Also texting her she seems really disinterested, but when we're together in person she seems really into me. Should i just try again and ask her to lunch again or something?
>>16702669
This girl I've gone on a few dates with and have been talking to for the past few months recently told me that we cannot have a relationship because we don't have the same religious beliefs(I'm essentially atheist, and she's Christian, but doesn't identify as a sub-group I.e. Catholic, Lutheran). Anyways I was thinking of talking to her and saying that I've never had a reason to go to church before, but that I could try going and see if I get anything out of it. Do you think it's worth trying or should I just leave it be? She's 19 and I'm 18, but she's homeschooled and I feel like if I were to have a long lasting relationship with anyone it would be her.
>>16703379
Go for it, I went through the same shit anon and I can tell you she is just the kind of girl who isnt used to that kind of shit (being asked to lunch or texting), give it a couple more shots, hell if you have the balls fag even try to ask her why she isnt wanting/going to go to lunch and shit.
But then again it is early in the relationship I think, so maybe you should just try asking again until she says yes.
>>16703365
Ha I am going through the same shit, just not the rejection part, but with an ex who may still like me. Its ironic that im trying to give advice to a person that sounds like me, but if I can try im glad too.
Hmm well seems like you tried everything, but its all a matter of just thinking about it.
Maybe some reverse social engineering? Try to think about her, the more you think about her, the more you will think less of her.
>blocked ex-gf on everything
>still find ways to creep
>always ends up with me being pissed off
>>16703393
Go to church and try to get something out of it, if you can't just think to yourself that your doing this for her. Usually you have to give up and go up to her comfort zone, with things like homeschooling she may not interact with others allot but you can be there for her. Church wise, just make her happy and go.
>>16703405
Ignore is the key, weather or not its something you can do, eventually she will get over it, if not then just tell her you hate her.
>>16703415
I think she is over it. She just posts bullshit - talks shit about me or talks about other guys.
>fuck girl like 6 months ago
>we fade out
>reinitiate recently
>she sends me some nudes, I say we should catch up
>try to make plans but she's always busy with some shit
>when I call her out she's like oh no I really am busy blah blah
>never offers a time herself
>keeps flirting with me though
Move on or what? I hate this shit, why would you send nudes to a guy but not want to see him
>>16703260
Hey anons, this is the same guy whos been helping out you fags, I am gonna shower and be back in like 25 minutes so wait for responds in like half an hour.
>>16703424
Get the nudes and use them for something else and move on, okay im gonna brb for 30 minutes
Well, this >>16703411
I am such a stressed out angsty fuck right now
>>16703412
She told me she had feelings for me(and I assume she still does), and also she has done sports and community plays since she was 5 so she has rather good social skills. She is completely fine with a relationship. She is just looking for something with similar religious views, but my question was should I mention it to her? Like ask her if she'd like me to attempt to go to church and get something out of it, or just remain friends with her?
>>16703435
Go into a relasionship with her, just say that you arent really familiar to God and that you will try out church and go with her. she will be happy to know that you want to know about God. Now weather you get anything out of it or not just know that it makes her happy.
