New thread, old one reached bump limit
My boyfriend and I had a pretty shitty talk today... He says he won't "just toss me to the side" but it sure seems like he can if he feels like it... Maybe he is just that much stronger of a person than me that losing a person he has a lot in common with won't effect him so he can try and look for someone more right for his future.
All I have in life is to look for a love. He has so much more. So much potential, so much drive, and such a good outlook.
Why couldn't he have told me having a love of books was so important at the start of us talking though?? Also I can't just force myself or make myself believe in god... I wish it wasn't mandatory that we had to fight about it. I wish we could just hang out and have a good time enjoying eachother's company like usual. I guess that just isn't enough though...
>>16696225
>>16685141
>>16682685
>>16682708
>>16682714
>>16682748
>>16696471
It's real to me anon, I have nothing else.
>>16696232
Maybe you're misreading everything, I've seen you in the letter threads if you are AP. He seems to say he can't be the one for you.
>>16696478
Not the same anon
>be 20
>kissless virgin
>acne everywhere
>cant focus in college because horny all the time
JUST
>>16696225
I don't want this and I'm not playing games A. I'm not who you think is posting neither. I think you aren't okay and this is how you deal with it. This isn't good and frankly I think you would rather do this than be positive and I don't get it. I don't get why you just don't text me or whoever you have a problem with.
A
>>16696649
hi femanon is this for me?
>>16696225
I introduced my girlfriend to an expensive hobby and I think I'm at fault for a bit of her debt. I always buy her presents but she loves doing it on her own now. I feel a bit guilty since we always touted about being fiscally responsible.
I hope my girlfriend is safe. I haven't heard from her since last Sunday. I'm scared for her safety. I pray she didnt get kidnapped. I can only hope that maybe her parents put her on lockdown and started homeschooling her.
I'm just scared because I haven't heard from her. I hate human trafficking. It's a crying shame it exists. I pray she didnt get taken.
>>16696982
Is this an indirect threat of some sort.
I will never know the feeling of having an 8 inch dick. Or a 6 inch dick. Just a 3, maybe a 4' if I'm lucky.
And I'll probably never score a MILF/cougar to have casual sex with because I don't have the most masculine features (weak chin, weak facial structurre cause asian).
Ah well. I do wish I had a bigger dick at least. It would be cool to be able to spin it around like a helicopter.
I always thought of you as my best friend. Yet, the minute my brother got separated from me at NYC your girlfriend publicly berated me. He's 17 and practically an adult. I started going to rock concerts at 15. So I didn't see the problem.
I did see a problem with your girlfriend and her friend telling me how fucked up it was. How I had a sick, twisted mind, and how they did this in public knowing I had social anxiety.
But I could have blown this off. My problem is that my best friend didn't even try to defend me. It's really fucked up man. It's been three months and you don't even try to reach out.
I hope she breaks your heart. I hope you sit there and cry. Fuck you man.
>>16697219
Whoa what's the sitch, amigo? It sounds like you friend's girlfriend yelled at you for losing your brother in New York?
>>16696225
I did nofap and flatlined, there that's my excuse. I'm usually a 7 incher grower as black hetero male. Why did this happen to me. I wanted to die but the good is there's hope. I did breathing, jelquing exercises, worked on cardio and chose a diet specific for my man meats needs. I'm happy to say that I'm closing 8 inches and fluctuating girth as of writing due to lube concerns. If I can do it then so can you.
Minimum of 6 months to accomplish. Food luck dicklets, stay in warm places.
I'm also a pure virgin saving myself for marriage.
>>16697327
I hear jelquing is bad for your penis. Also you're black man, at most you won the penis lottery. I'm asian, I got that ching a ding dick a ling. I can never fug a thick woman because it probably won't reach in if I'm going doggy style.
>>16697327
I'm nearly 9", and over 6" in girth. I am a grower. Never did a damn thing.
I'm also around 5'8" and white.
Besides, jelqing and that will fuck with you.
>>16697450
It was a shit post of reasonable >>16697410
proportions.
>>16697450
Maybe it was porn cause ED.
I fuckign miss her!
FUCK!
I Fucking miss her ! FUCK!
>>16697163
Not to me, but to her. I know her biological father is into trafficking and he apparently sold her to someone already.
>>16697510
But that's forbidden anon. Is this forbidden love?
>>16697533
It's just frowned upon. Age difference.
>>16697508
Calm down. Deep breaths. Things will be ok, she probably isn't coming back but the more you let your emotions cloud your judgement the worse things will get. So take a fucking chill pill and pull yourself together.
I feel terrible constantly.
I want to be creative and produce things that myself and others can enjoy, but I have trouble gathering the courage to do it. The only time I have the courage is when I'm wasted, but it feels artificial.
I can't open up to anybody because I probably sound like a sperglord.
The only time anybody complemented my character is when my best friend, who only has 2 friends, was drunk.
I'm embarrassed typing this but I hope that it might help me feel better, if not make you guys feel better in comparison.
My sleep has been interrupted at least 2 times per night, more often 4-6, for the past month or so. I'm having trouble stringing together coherent sentences now. Most of what I say is grammatically incorrect, and I'm using single words as sentences, words that do not really make sense on their own.
Everything's foggy, I keep forgetting what I'm doing as I'm in the process of doing it. I need my goddamn sleep.
>>16697629
You've got it all fucked up bro.
Create things for YOU to enjoy and if other people enjoy it with you then great, if not, then it doesn't matter because you're happy regardless.
>>16697650
I know that's how it should be, but I get hung up so easily on how others might like it that anything I might make feels like garbage.
I'm three seconds from snapping at my family. They let my trashy sister move back in and the place is a fucking embarrassing pit. I work in the morning and she constantly slams doors, blares music, etc. from 12-3AM. 'Rents don't care since it's only on our side of the house. Reminders, politely cleaning and asking for help do nothing.
I'm going to finally stand up to her bullshit today. I was scared before since she'd bully me as a kid, but I'm a bigger and better person now. I outrank her in the house and hell, even in society. She's going to try and start a fight but I won't stand for it. Fuck living in this hell hole. I have 'before and after' photos and it went from pristine to 'a pack of wild dogs ran, tipped everything over and tracked dirt'. Fuck, I'm fed up.
I can't even enjoy the game. All I hear is the homolust in everything Collinsworth says...
Bah.
>>16696225
all i wanted was the stereotypical sometimes happy family but i grew up in a dysfunctional family where i became emotionally and physically damaged over the years, i have no friends, been diagnosed with aspergers, and stop myself from having friends by keeping my low self esteem and confidence. I want a girlfriend that I can talk about my past with and cry when the memories of pain resurface, I miss spending quality time with my dad, I miss having friends who I could visit, and I am sad about it especially when I see other people engrossed in their phones and personal lives as they quicky became borderline narcissistic and antisocial towards me and others who are not in their social circle. I am tired of waiting for a phonecall from my dad, I am sick of my mother's drug addictions and personal habits, and I hate having autism it makes me less normal than the people around me.
Sometimes I think about old games that I played or places that I went to as a kid and I feel sad because I can't really remember any of my childhood although I'm 21.
Part of me thinks that there was a time when I was genuinely happy but I honestly can't remember.
I remember one of my parents telling me that I've always been miserable so I hope I wasn't one of those little kids with depression since that's pretty shit lol.
>>16696225
I like you and find myself awake at 4AM thinking about you even if your last pic was with a rat on you. Apparently they're cute and friendly but if you let yourself be touched by a rat and not by me I'll be fucking pissed.
>>16698432
We're a happy family here anon, we'll all make it through the asperger life one day. Have you tried finding a friend online?
Of course you delete that one Twitter picture. It's a mystery why...
>>16696225
You're the most affectionate, trustworthy and caring person I have ever met. You deserve to smile, you deserve chromed out grills on your teeth, free with no charge. You deserve to be loved and have a shoulder to cry on when life gets hard. You're the most in line with your emotions and also the one to shape your life to be beautiful as you want it to be. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to smile in good company and celebrate your success with those you love. You're a loving person and even if the stress of responsibilities might weigh you down there's always love in your heart to give. You give yourself, you deserve everything beautiful in this world. And when you reach where you want to be and when you're confident and more intelligent, more wiser than any time you have been then I wonder if you'll smile back at me. Please don't let anyone take advantage of you, be careful and always know I'll be there if you need me.
The snow makes me think of you. Angel.
>>16697640
I have always woken up at least 2-3 time a night for my whole life. I get up, piss, drink some water, then go back to sleep each time. It doesn't affect me at all during the day---ding ding ding, you're just a pussy.
>>16699186
That anon should try white noise machines or sound conditioners if it's noise that's disturbing their sleep. I lived in New York for a good amount of time and the worst is getting a lower floor apartment. You can literally hear every stupid thing from dusk till dawn. Spent a chunk of cash on soundproof floors, walls, carpeting, rugs, decor on the wall that absorb noise, and bookshelves for walls. But the most important thing is the window, there's good removable sound proof window plugs and curtains you can invest in. All this and a sound conditioner and you're set.
Quite an autistic thing to do when you can just buy earplugs but if you want to put in cash it works.
>>16699158
Be safe overseas
>>16696225
holocaust didn't happen
>>16696225
I never want to die, but if I can't live for ever what's the point in living and who the fuck is qualified to respond? No one.
Holy fuck......
What in the fuck are you thinking? Do you care? Why do you repress everyything and not trust anybody. Every person in your life wants to hand you everything on a silver platter and you'll never fucking learn until it stops and that will hurt. Gods I love you so much but you need something to change or you'll be stuck like this your whole life. Sticking your head in the ground like a fucking ostrich won't solve anything. It's going to hurt, but life is going to smack you in the face, and I sincerely hope you can learn and grow from it. You deserve the best, but you also need to learn you have to go for it, it won't be handed to you.
At my Bachelor Party the guys got strippers.
I never asked for them, I thought we were gonna have fun just getting super hammered. So my guard was down. WAY down. I could barely move I was so drunk.
The fucking women they hired were hookers. I've been to a lot of Bachelor parties before and even when strippers showed up, they danced around but that was it.
They took me to a room for a 'private dance,' took my pants off, and one of them started sucked. I sat there for maybe ten seconds, flaccid, before I the adrenaline rush hit me and I freaked out, asked her to stop and left the room.
No one knows. I can't stand the guilt. I didn't even ASK or WANT strippers, let alone fucking HOOKERS to show up.
And now I'm thinking of just blowing my brains out because I've become what I always hated. I've dated my financee for FIVE YEARS and I've never even as so much flirted with another woman. I work in an industry where I could easily hook up with women all the time (most of my coworkers do, I get made fun of, called 'Mr. Loyal.' when we're traveling).
A huge part of my self-identity, faithful, has been taken from me. I want to vomit.
My one buddy I told laughed when I told him, then when I told him how much it bothers me, told me I was overreacting, BIG time.
I just didn't want to be 'that guy,' I spent my whole life not being that guy, and then in what feels like an ambush I became that guy against my will.
>>16699497
You feel guilty for having a flaccid dick sucked? I don't know your wife but I wouldn't come clean if I were you. Just drown that memory in alcohol and regret.
I know you stare at me when I look away. Don't make it hard, just love me.
I desperately want to have a girlfriend/relationship. I know how fucked up that kind of thinking is and how I should put other goals like finishing school and being successful. But there are some days where I can hardly function, always wondering/fantasizing about being with a sweet, loving girl. I don't know how to get over this.
Also, I can no longer listen to Bowie for bullshit reasons. And that really disturbs me.
>>16699497
Sounds like your friends set you up. No friends would let that shit happen bro. Now she has a good reason to justify fucking someone else, don't you think?
Start planning your revenge NOW
I'm depressed as fuck again. I've suffered through depression most of my life and now Im getting to my low point again. Im 20 years old and barely have any friends. Everyone I hangout with either uses me for my money or my car. I've got one really good friend, he never expects anything and he'll hang out with me just for the sake of hanging out. We hung out today and I was still depressed as fuck, I was quiet and apathetic for the most part. I feel like I've lost my only true friend I've ever had. I have social anxiety and its regressed a lot in the past year. I can barely talk to cashiers on a good day now. I moved away and lost contact with everybody I knew and I've just been on a downhill ever since.
I'm so lonely on most days that I feel like shit. I'm apathetic and miserable. Dating is non existent for me toi. I went on a few dates with some girls last year and the ones that liked me I didn't like, and the ones I liked rejected me. I've never had a gf and it sucks. The only thing I have going on for me is my job. It pays really well and I make more than most people age. Id rather be poor and have good friends/girlfriend though. I'd trade it in a heartbeat. I'm not happy with my life at all. I tried killing myself 3 years ago and no one knows about my depression. I have to hide it and vent here because I have nowhere else to go.
I called in to work tomorrow so I could get drunk by myself tonight. That's how pathetic I am.
i feel kinda like shit because basically all my friends think i am the biggest dumb ass and i feel like they just keep me around for something to laugh at.
>>16699630
You and I both my friend
I just had my first long term relationship, lasted a year and 3 months until early December last year. Me and her were at our respective homes for thanksgiving break and she slept with her ex, whom I told her she could hang out with because he's a part of her friend group and I didn't want her to sit at home bored and friendless, most importantly I trusted her. I saw she had been texting him and saw she sent a picture to him of her add with a bruise on it saying "what did you do to me?" I confronted her about it and she started crying, eventually confessing they fucked. Her texts were so blaze and she was messaging him like nothing was wrong, which was in stark contrast to how miserably unable to function she was after I found out. It's been over a month since it ended, and the only thing I'm pissed about is that I don't want to have trust issues, and I'm trying not to let that happen. She's horribly depressed I assume, and she kept on contact with him after the ordeal, and that I can't forgive. The plus side is that I'm starting to realize that our relationship started to really suck sometimes and I'm better off without her.
>>16699598
Are you me, I'm in a similar spot but I'm just too jaded and exhausted right now to even focus on being in a relationship. I'm not getting any younger, I've had previous relationships and still date from time to time but I feel tired.
I have work, friends, responsibilities to finish, school and all sorts of financial safety nets I need to build in the future. I'm grateful but things have been shit on my part and I know it too. Life's been shit, I was a dropout fuckup, have every I need and I think I got too used to everything being shit and escaping it. Now life is good and I'm taking it for granted. Too lucky financially as well.
Been taking a vacation to get my mind off it and get away from this before I blow my brains out. I just want to work hard for something, hopefully this will help me figure things out.
Good luck to your situation anon. Be good to women and they'll be good to you, they just need someone charming,honest, caring and manly most of the time. Those traits might not go hand in hand but they eventually do.
>>16699630
are you me?
>>16699630
They're not your friends anon, been with friends do that and it's not their fault. It's just the way people operate, take it as a good thing. Maybe it will push you to be someone, I'm not friends with those people anymore but I learned thanks to them.
I wonder if I should post my picture on /soc/
I just want to know how I look to people
I guess it doesn't really matter either way though
>>16699661
How would you describe yourself anon?
I'm so fucking tired of being lonely. Every time I think I'm over it I know I'm not because I'll see some lovey dovey couple holding hands or some shit and I'll instantly go back to wondering where everything went so very wrong.
I went to school, got a BS, got a good job, moved to another part of the country said job, got a MS and then got promoted and make a nice sum of cash. But now at 25 I'm utterly alone. I just wish I could give up.
I miss you.
>>16699666
average and unremarkable/easily forgettable (physically)
>>16699670
>25
I'm 24 junior year college not even done yet. I feel like I take class with babies. Single lives with parents.
>>16699675
Same, pretty unremarkable myself.
I don't know. sometimes your friends tell you in person what they would think subtly or if you ask their constructive criticism in person. Pictures aren't really an accurate representation of you because of the lens effect anyway. Some are goofy in pictures but are actually different in person.
>>16699674
I miss you too, how are you anon?
>>16699698
I'm doing alright, holding up at least. Slightly depressed but hopeful for the new year. How are you?
Don't keep her away from me. She's the infection of my mind and I just want to share mine with hers. What's wrong with loving someone's personality?
You talk about you know who so much... Mixed signals.
>>16699711
I feel you, I have depressive tendencies too. Been keeping it at bay by not taking life as seriously when I'm alone nowadays. These threads help when I have no one to talk to or want to be anonymous.
Nice to have something to be hopeful about. Hope you had a good New Years.
Who are you missing anon?
I've been thinking about her and my old friends. I'm always reminded when I go to these threads.
>>16699732
That's good that you can admit you have depressive tendencies anon. I do too but admitting them outside of an imageboard on the internet is a different story. I had an amazing New Years actually, hope yours was the same or better.
I'm missing someone with the first initial of E. Don't want to post her name, I suspect she visits 4chan as well. Who do you miss? No need to post more than the first initial if you don't feel comfortable doing so.
>>16696830
What hobby?
Christ what the fuck am I meant to do with myself? I desperately want to go back to study, not just that, but study something I actually care about, more specifically Japanese moonrunes (massive weeb). But last time I studied I ended up miserable because I picked a shit course that I didnt really care about because my family pressured me to. The workload of something I didnt care about combined with familial pressure to succeed sent me into a deep depression, which led to everything spiraling out of control and me dropping out. I've spent the last two years in dead end jobs, just fucking existing, it sucks. My family is still pressuring me to go back to what they want me to study, and the thought of facing them after enrolling in anything other than what they want terrifies me. My life feels like such a mess. I have all these opportunities in front of me, but I just keep wasting them. Fuck.
>>16699747
Yeah it is, I don't really tend to socialize when I'm feeling under which is pretty counterintuitive, i am a tad introverted because though. Figured people have enough troubles of their own and I usually am self aware enough to know if I do need help. Most of the time I just need some time off from the monotony.
Thanks, same to you, mine was good nothing amazing. Went out with friends of mine to meet up with other friends for the countdown. Won't specify where we went but a good time, will probably see each more this year. Everyone is really busy however.
I've known her for a while, I miss her that's all. Yeah won't post initials but if she does lurk here she might know, she's quite the stoic individual after all, cute girl too.
Wish you the best with your missed ones anon
>>16697410
Honestly you're luckier being asian with a small dick. I'm black with a average dick and porn has destroyed any kind of sexual confidence I might have had desu
>>16699826
Think the issue here is busting a nut to a computer screen. there's truth to nodal if you've been jerking off everyday since you were a kid or something.
>>16699843
*nofap
>>16697410
>won't be able to reach
simple fix for that, have her doggy style on a slope so that her upper body is lower than her ass, the gravity will pull her ass slightly forward and you should be able to penetrate her easily
there's nothing wrong with having a small dick and you know niggers..ghetto clubs, the really big dicks are never quite hard, kinda gross
I am a fat, depressed, 22 yr old kissless virgin who's only form of validation comes from being good at school. I'm addicted to nicotine, food, and pleasure and am slowly starting to not care.
If I don't get laid soon, I'm worried my mental health will plummet. I need to physically experience a woman in order to prevent the gaps in my mind from filling in with knowledge gained through internet pornography and television.
I don't really want to make a thread for this and I couldn't see any with a similar topic so I'll ask here
I'm planning to ask a girl I've been talking to out, and tomorrow is her birthday, so I'm going to write her a note as well. It says this: Happy birthday! You have a cool, refreshing personality and I genuinely enjoy spending time with you. I wish nothing but the best for you today, and the rest of 2016.
I have trouble making my intentions known, hopefully this sends the message
>>16696649
Because, let's be honest, who the fuck listens to our problems? You may say 'you', but that's just it, you're listening. You won't offer a valuable solution, considering the other party's now too ashamed to even talk about it. It's a sign of weakness to talk about issues, usually. Unless, maybe it involves the relationship between you and other A, but even then, that usually involves or predicates a breakup.
tl:dr, rip in pieces love.
You got back from your trip and you are barely answering my texts . Talk to me and tell me what's going on. I can't just sit and stare at my phone
I'm usually a very calm person, and it's hard to get on my nerves, but I fucking get furious when people try to manipulate others. God. Fucking. Dammit. I mean, come on! Don't you have some self-respect not to fall for the bait of 'the only way for you to be pretty/happy/wealthy/desirable is to do only as we say'. Fuckiddy fuckiddy fuck.
My fiance's parents piss me off. Through his whole life they didn't get health or dental insurance for him or his 4 siblings but instead wasted their money on things like dirt bikes and for wheelers and s bunch of other unimportant shit, and because of that, my fiance has aching teeth probably full of cavities, doesn't know his current health situation (and he has some weird skin stuff I'm nervous about) and we're too broke to get him his own insurance now, while I'm under my mom's plan. It scares me that something could be wrong with him but I wouldn't know since he hasn't had a checkup in like.. 6 years. He's been to the dentist probably once. His parents don't give a shit.
>>16700166
The unfortunate thing is that my landlord/roommate is this type of guy, and I have to abide by everything he says or else I get kicked out. I can't even just argue, or else I also get kicked out (by argue, I mean talk calmly, yet sternly about issues). And even if I do all the housework, I still get treated like shit.
I can't exactly move anywhere, considering that I'm in a financial weak-spot and am trying to get my feet back up (I JUST got employed at a warehouse that pays decently for a Studio Apt, which is exactly what I need to GTFO).
So either for now, I go homeless, or go sub like a bitch.
I've got a lot going for me but I've got the potential to be even greater. Succesful even
I need to do. No try. There is no try. There is only do or do not. And I will do.
Why am I so fucking uncultured?
i get off on humiliating men.
>>16700320
pls be in london.
I have no reason not to but I find it very hard to trust my girlfriend. I'm not sure if I'm insecure, I'm pretty good with girls (pulled ~100), maybe its because she's the first I've been emotionally attached too. She went out to a nightclub the other week and we had a fight. I looked through the nightclub pictures out of curiosity and noticed in one there is a girl in the background with the same hairstyle as her (not many other had it pulled back on the night from what I can tell) making out with some guy. Its too faint for details to be conclusive but I can't help but worry/think its her..
Am I crazy?
My friend and I have been laughing at your mugshot. I like the pic of you pouting at yourself in the mirror without a shirt. lol. God you're a sexy little psychopath.
>>16700166
Same here
Fucking bitch missus told me to sleep on the couch because i havent had a shower since yesterday.
I was just fired.
I cannot believe this.
I'm on prescription NSAIDS and I'm also in so much pain I'm probably going to have to cancel plans tonight. My guess is that it was so cold that I curled into a little ball last night and I couldn't feel what positions I was putting myself in with my hypermobility, so I yanked a whole bunch of shit out of line in my spine.
Fuck. I was hoping to get a diagnosis before I made the move to opioids, but this shit is impossible. I mean, god damn. I need relief now, not whenever I can get to a doctor.
im so afraid
Why?
I'm getting pretty fucking sick of my stagnant life and I want it to go up or down or some goddamn direction right fucking now so something can actually happen to me. Nothing EVER happens to me fuck this garbage hand I was dealt.
I feel like I'm the verge of a breakdown, relapse.
I'm trying hard, but I can't find happiness nor purpose
I'll keep going till the end of this year, and if things keep so shitty, I'll just end it.
I will never be happy here.
I never belonged anywhere or with anyone.
I'm so tired of pretending. Truth is I cared too much. These dreams and ideals of others were never meant for me.
I feel like my love is worthless. That my trust, devotion, and time mean nothing.
2013 was going to be my end, all I ever wanted. It was going to be over and no one was going to even know. My body was failing, I was in the final six months. I was literally waiting to die. But no, I bitched out and took treatment. Because someone put it in my head that my sorry existence had meaning.
I didn't survive to spend my life being shit on.
tldr; I will be better. Only for myself.
You have a ripped hot MMA fighting boyfriend in his mid-20s who's pretty good for you and you both have many common interests. But you're deciding to cheat on him with me, a 19 year old pale dishwashing computer geek with long hair, stubble, and a subtle beer gut from the excessive amounts of 40s and beer I've consumed in the past few months.
Well alright. Can't say I really understand why you're doing this, but I'll be getting my dick wet and most likely attached to you which I shouldn't but will anyway.
What could possibly go wrong!
Im wasting my life and am most likely ruining my future career by playing stupid video games, i should work harder instead of whining, but i seriously feel like punching everything around me.
I really can't wait to get back on my anti-psychotics. I've been hearing whispers for a few days now. Not sure what they're saying, but it's a man and a woman, and it's very annoying. Audio hallucinations are rare for me, and I don't handle them as well as I handle visuals.
Also would love to feel good about my body again, but that probably won't happen without either surgery or a miracle.
I have severe ADHD.
I don't like feeling like I have to be medicated with adderall, but I am a useless failure who drops the ball on everything without it. I keep telling myself I'll only take it until I'm done school, but realistically I'm going to fail in the corporate world without it. And that terrifies me.
>>16702202
Does anyone have any advice on relieving inner frustration? I exercise 3 times a week and i dislike meditating.
>>16702239
therapy
>>16699497
Bro, personally I don't think you did nothing wrong. You were drunk as fuck, flacid, then had that "oh shit moment"
You alright.
>>16696225
I was burned real bad by a girl I was head-over-heels in love with, and it's taken forever to finally get over her, but because of that I'm not quick to trust anyone anymore or hold any long term relationships.
However, there is a girl that I do like, and do want to be with, whom I know likes me... but it's hard letting that guard down.
>>16702239
whats got ya frustrated?
>>16702234
I got PTSD from my time in the army. I take my meds and I'm fine with it. Take yours if they help.
>>16702202
How old are you, what are you doing, whats your career?
>>16701392
Nothing happens to anyone. They make shit happen. Go to a museum, clear your head. It's what I do when I feel useless.
>>16700302
Read a book or go see a stage play.
>>16700180
Go sub, but keep looking for alternative housing. Once found, tell your room mate to eat a dick.
>>16699962
First step: Diet. Kick sugary/high fat foods, and eat healthy stuff. You will almost immediatly feel better. Seriously, diet is everything.
>>16699686
I'm almost 30 and I'm in college. Army took my 20s, but I get to use that whole "army hooah hooah" shit to get 18 and up pussy.
>>16699598
>>16699646
Try out OKC, for real.
>>16698056
Good on ya. If the shit keeps up, try and move out.
>>16702173
Can't lie, my friend: That'd be a great movie. Seth Rogen or James DeFranco?
Born with a micro, even though I am social I refuse nearly all women, and the ones that I try usually look at me weird or disgusted.
I am in love with someone who thinks we are just friends. I have tried with other women, but look above.
Got addicted to porn, now trying to give it ip. Will be a long road but why not.
The absoule fucking worst of it all is, that I am a good looking, fit guy (8-9), and I can't fucking even use that to my advantage.
> Say it! Get it off your chest now!
First Problem: I can't.
You can add me on skype to discuss a time and place.
>>16702660
I'm intrigued. What's the story?
So it's another one of these things...
You are a bolt of lightning, a brilliant flash, a burning star. You make me feel so alive at a time when I've felt so dead. But your presence in my life is so fleeting and I just can't hold on to you. It would be like trying to embrace a bonfire.
I don't know what's going to happen with this...
Living the shit life right now
No job, barely any friends, i fucking hate my boyfriends best friend and have to be around him constantly, spend most days alone, holed up in my house because i live the middle of gotdamn nowhere. Is this karma for something? things were going great, but then i just kept getting sick and things got worse and worse. I just don't know anymore, every attempt to make something better seems to just do nothing, overall, pretty sick of being alive. Been telling myself for years that its gonna get better, really hasn't.
>>16701992
Stay strong. Strength will pay off. Weakness won't.
I love my boyfriend.. I truly do. But he's pushing me further away and doesn't quite get why. I fear that my relationship is slowly dying.
He's been hurt, he's been cheated on and somehow he thinks that I'll do the same to him. It's like, he'll call me and say, "I know you're cheating on me. Just tell me who it is." and I'm getting tired of being accused. It always comes along when I don't want to talk, or fool around over Second Life; he immediately thinks there's someone else... and that's pushing me further and further away.
I just don't know how to tell him without it turning into another fight, because I know he'll make it sound like I'm the bad guy and how I don't talk enough and shit and.. WELL GUESS WHAT, TRAVIS. It's YOU who's making it this way. It's YOU who's killing the relationship.
Sure I'm not perfect, and a lot of arguments were my doing, but this.. I feel that this will be the end of what we have.
And quite frank, I'm Okay with that. I'd rather be single than be accused every fucking time your spirits are down and in the dumps.
My friend may or may not be dead. We used to talk almost everyday for a long time. Until a few months ago she just stopped talking. I tried everything I know of to reach her, but she's still not responding.
I'm scared.
>>16703312
I didn't break.
I don't want to fap anymore. I've been addicted to it where it's at the point I do it three times a day. I feel like shit. I look like shit.
I want to get my life together and get clean. I've been ignoring my friends, haven't been motivated to do anything.
It's got to the point where it's all I think about. I'm just so tired of being in this cycle of addiction.
>>16703372
Good job, brother.
I can't seem to get over the fact that my life will never be like one of my animes, and it's affecting me negatively. I wish I could find a group of like-minded weebs.
>Had just 1 gf
>That was 1 and a half years ago
>Kind off shitty relationship and didn't last long, I didn't know what to do because I was autistic and afraid to lose her all the time if I expressed my feelings about being insecure about our relationship
>Also didn't really feel loved sometimes but I didn't know how it worked so I got trough with it anyways doing almost all the work
>She broke up with me because I didn't seem to talk to her about her problems (I was autistic so i didnt really talk about that stuff) and was dealing with too much atm
>She said it looked like it was only physical, though we only made out like 1 or 2 times in the 4 months of relationship, and that was it
>fast forward a week later of broke up she goes to a party and made out with 3 guys and 1 girl
Sometimes i wonder if I was that bad, its not like i want her back or something, but I miss kissing/hugging stuff I can't remember what it was like really, and also I feel very frustrated because she never wanted to make out or stuff like that but after the break up she did with random people instantly.
I just wish I could find someone to love know that I'm not that much of an autist
My girlfriend, who is now 16, and I'm 17. Has PTSD, and tries to commit suicide almost frequently, sometimes without telling me. She was hit by her father, disowned, has done multiple drugs before, and was molested multiple times as a child in middle school. She's even gone to the psych ward twice. Lots of guys flirt on her, which I'm not too worried about concerning the current issue.
I just wanna know how to make her not kill herself, she's planning to commit suicide in two days, she plans to run out into her forest and OD on serious painkillers and whatever else she can find, or she may hang herself.
I live in Michigan, she lives in god damned Tennessee. She sometimes says she goes on walks sometimes, or sleeps all day, but I don't know if that's actually the truth, since she used to be a big druggie before I met her because of depression issues.
I'm the only thing important to her anymore, and I'm trying to figure out a way to stop her from killing herself.
>>16703432
She didn't want to be physical because you didn't want to be open emotionally.
Relationships take both. Doesn't sound like she did a great job communicating that either though.
feelin it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjTIbuaGozU
Why aren't you responding?
It's been two hours Arianna
Where the hell are you?
Ex texted me out of the blue about an hour ago.
We had an amazing run (time of my fucking life honestly, dare I even say she was >The One) but it ended a bit sour, unfinished, questions, etc. Been about a year and a half since we last spoke and I'm just contemplating if I want to open that door again.
Also, fuck you ex, greeting me with "Happy New Year." Bitch it's mid January, I know exactly what you're doing.
>>16703462
Yeah you're right with that, it's just that with 4 months in at least she could have been a little more obvious with it and we could have worked it out but welp, someone else is gonna come and I'm going to do it right. Also later I found out she became a bit of a junky so better for me anyways
gonna make a little sad/mellow song country road cruising playlist for myself. I like to take long late night drives and chainsmoke and occasionally have some road beers
liking my list so far
society has utterly lost its fucking shit and I want off the ride.
I want to be far away from all you people and your crazy shit. that, or just meet some people finally that restore my faith in humanityand that I can form a clique with and keep the rest of the crazy shit away with. cause yall fucks have just... fuck man.
Is there some kind of formula for knowing if I'm having the correct/healthy amount of existential crises that one should be having when they're young and unsure of the future?
I'd say I have at least 3 - 5 a day, and it keeps me up at night sometimes, like it's doing right now.
Good thing I only have college tomorrow right
Same boat anon.
I have no idea how people live normal lives without evidently worrying about stupid shit all the time?
I hate that I have to separate myself from something I've loved and spent so much time on, but the people in this scene are so toxic and these events just aren't fun anymore. Everyones out to get each other and desperate for "clout" and I want no part in it. I did my job and I'm out. See you guys again someday.
>>16703662
That's part of the problem. Everyone wants their own little special clique that "restores their faith in humanity" while keeping most of humanity out of it.
Are you someone that tries to restore people's faith in humanity? Or are you waiting for people who will?
>>16703753
and I know I run shit pretty well. I have to find somewhere else to take my skills, this city just doesn't deserve me anymore.
I've been lied to, "finessed", harassed irl/online, and people have taken credit for my work.
We all know you're in this for fame and I'm just not about that. Nothing is more gross than people who just want to lie and take advantage of people to look important and get "local clout". Its overpopulated with people all trying to be famous and look important.. You're going to stay stuck in this mess of a local scene. Everyone wants to be apart of the "behind the scenes" crowd like we're in high school. And what you don't know is that its not real. There is no cool crowd, its a blend of people who are important or trying really hard to look important, and even fewer that are making money off this. You don't have any marketable skills and you just copycat what other people do, I hope you realize someday how stupid you all look.
>>16702841
Hello past me
I will never create anything beautiful.
I will never pour my heart and soul into something worthwhile and meaningful because I don't know how.
I will never stay up late, ignore obligation, or sacrifice time and energy to make a completed work because I'm incapable of working hard towards anything, even something I want.
I will never make someone fascinated by my art the way I get fascinated about my heroes because I'm not smart enough, nor have I started early enough in my life to be talented at what I (pretend to) do.
I will never create anything beautiful because the few things I do manage to create I despise as much as I fucking despise myself.
>>16703851
I created something beautiful for someone beautiful, and it helped me push through my creative block.
What a wonderful muse she was, but she left me completely destroyed.
Beauty can be overrated.
>>16703851
Keep doing you.
They don't want you to give up either.
![[can't understand intensifies].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lzycpp0.jpg "[can't understand intensifies].jpg")
I had a dream
In that dream I fell in love.
She was everything I could desire. I fell for her entirely.
Then I woke up.
I want to die.
This is to you B
I'd be your girlfriend" as she gazes into my eyes and quickly apologizes afterwards saying "sorry." She realized that she was in a 2 year relationship with another guy and here I am mesmerized by not only by your words but by the way you meant it. I start to think about how alone I really am. I start to envy the feelings of those who are happy with one another. I try my hardest to play my role but this strange and inevitable anger is overwhelming my life. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
>>16703821
What are you on about babe? I'm interested. What field?
>>16696225
I started having nagging doubts about our relationship again. You obviously enjoyed living on the wild side, despite your assurances to me. You introduced me to some of your friends, and it seems like drugs were always a large, if not central part of your friendships. You know I'm not like that and Im afraid that one day you'll want a partner you can get high with and I simply won't suffice. you've had a ton of threesomes in the past and when we started dating you tried to get me into one without me knowing. We left it at that, but I feel you would eventually like to do that agand n. I overheard you talking to a friend about how there's often this incredible chemistry and connection that makes threesomes amazing. I'm just afraid I'll waste my fading youth on you when and then you'll realise you want someone who would be more like you in these aspects.
>>16703996
Concert promoter and I manage an artist (might quit the second one soon). Just the rap scene out here.
Okay. No way I'm going to read this thread, because I know I shitposted this morning and I would really really hate if the person I wrote it "to" actually in reality did read it. If that makes since. Really. This is just a stupid game.
But having said that, I didn't mean to be mean. You hurt me badly and so I'm trying to hurt you back in this very very shady and autist way.
>>16704002
So it's like that Drake song "Energy?"
>>16704006
>But having said that, I didn't mean to be mean. You hurt me badly and so I'm trying to hurt you back in this very very shady and autist way.
god fucking damn it
i feel like i know who this is but i have doubt because he doesn't seem like he would come here
>>16703998
The word "partner" is odd but maybe it's coming back with young people? But then "waste my fading youth" is not something a young person would write, either. Huh. Who you trolling?
>>16704002
Musicians are all super-competitive, I know.
I want to rekindle some old friendships but fuck me I have no idea where to start
>>16704021
I'm an old soul anon.
i've been trying to use someone to fill a gap in me but they're just making me feel more empty.
>>16704029
not just musicians, the whole business especially promoters. awful people that get away with being awful because "wahh the whole business is fake"...being fake and a bitch goes hand in hand
Do you find yourself thinking of me, when good, or bad, events happen? How they would be better simply because I was sharing them with you?
Life has been nothing but a painful struggle since day one. I have to suffer so much just to keep my diseases at bay, knowing all the while it is a losing battle. I am so afraid of death but at the same time I fear living through more pain.
none of this matters
none of this
>>16699630
>>16699640
Ditto.
More so...that is how I feel when I totally know that if I died tmrw...my friend would never be the same.
I feel it more like...my friends would do much better without me. I really should just be left alone. Be some sort of life drifter or something. Live my life, leave a few good moments...they'll never know who I was but they'll remember I made their lives better somehow. Just a name in the wind.
I've been living a shit life for years now, and I just want to wake up. I want to have FUN. Every day is just another empty mess. I'm not really living, really. Just existing. I don't do anything worthwhile, I barely see other people, and I'm constantly tired as fuck.
I hate this. I'm too old for this. I'll turn 30 this year, and it makes me want to kill myself. I should have a real life by now. Instead I'm just some old dude with a teenager life and mindset. All around me I see younger people living better lives, and I don't know how they do it. I see my peers buying houses and having kids (and, granted, some living with their parents working shit jobs).
I mean, I could have it worse, certainly. But it feels like my mind is broken. I can't keep myself from wasting my time, or eating crap, or sleeping in until I've missed the entire morning.
I'm thinking going to art school was a mistake. I thought I was decent until I got here. Everyone here is far more advanced than me. I'm trying to learn years of stuff in ten weeks. I work very hard. My best isn't enough. I gotta maintain a 3.0 for my scholarship. If I don't manage to do that this quarter I gotta drop out because I can't afford it, and I might as well kill myself
>>16704756
I feel your pain. I started a programming course, and I get there, and tons of people already have years of experience, while I'm starting fresh.
I know it's far from uncommon to have this fear as a young adult, but I'm fucking terrified about my future. I decided not to go to university since the only thing I could get in on was for English. I mean, I love reading and stuff, but I find English students utterly intolerable. I don't want to be one. I've only realised at 21 that I'm actually really interested in computer science, but I have no maths qualification I need to study, which means that I would need to go to uni next year, at the age of 22. I feel so young yet so fucking old. I had a fun couple of years, I worked at travelled New Zealand for a bit, and if all else fails, I'll just fuck off to Aus. I still feeling like I've wasted all my time chasing too many goals, then changing my mind.
I'm only 18 and aging scares me. I feel old already
I'm vain to the point where I've considered suicide to die young and beautiful and be a pretty corpse
>>16702202
Unplug consoles, delete Steam. It;s far too easy to get distracted by something when the entertainment and gratification isn't immediate.
>>16704756
Don't give up. Took me almost 6 years to finish a 2 year program all because some twisted disagreements happened with a teacher that kept me from graduating.
I don't know what your dreams are but if you're persistent, they can happen. Out of grad, I've already worked on a few feature films and I'm already on my sixth feature film (and no, this isn't some Bollywood B-movie shit. Seth Rogan wrote this).
Decent is good enough and hard work pays off. Hoping you get to where you want to be.
>>16704772
I know EXACTLY that pain bro.
I used to be "gifted". A B was a bad grade, and I could have gone to Stanford if I'd kept my grades up. But Junior year I got a boyfriend, we were obsessed, ignored everything else in life, grades dropped. I decided fuck it, I'll move. Studying abroad in England now, in my final year, and I've been to 4 lectures all year. I'm scared I won't graduate, and even if I do it'll be with shit marks in a subject I hate. My boyfriend and I live together, but we've both cheated on each other, I think I want to break it off, but we're both depressed, and I'm scared it could make things worse.
>>16704784
DON'T !!!! Honey, I understand I was the same when I was 18. It's because your brain is expanding… it's a very normal thing. But trust me keep going you are younger than fuck and things get SO much better. Your 20's are gon suck but TRUST ME when you hit 30 life gets wonderful. Your 30's are THE BEST. lol I'm older than fuck and still get play.
>>16704064
Ah (smile) Me too, dear. I love that. Stay sweet babe.
11 years ago I was sexually abused in a public toilet. He made me suck his dick and then proceeded by forcing me to eat my own shit. He then left me lying in my own puke/shit.
I'm pretty much over it, except when I enter a public toilet I immediately aim for one of the cabins. I'm afraid of using urinals because people stand next to you.
Any advice on how to overcome this?
When people post pictures of themselves crying on facebook, I just take it as "Give me attention/likes/comments" and don't feel sympathy for them
Really struggling with the withdrawals from cymbalta... Feels like my brain isn't working half as well as it was even when i was at the depths of my depression... Fuck
>>16704987
When I see mugshots… lol whatever babe. So you're lurking. Enjoy!
I don't know if this is crazy hormones or if depression decided to strike with full force. I was doing so well without medication. Now I just feel like I used to. I hope this feeling doesn't stay. Fuck.
I am sheltered, I want freedom and independence
And I hate my friends
>>16704611
like this.
fyi if you dumped someone and think this you probably made a mistake.
That awkward mo' when the guy you cheated on your S.O. with gets on the bus. With his baby and (ex?) girlfriend/mother of his child.
>>16704952
Therapy.
This is beyond the help of frogposting crossboarding autist robots
Last night I dreamt of this girl. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in over a year, but there she was. Having fun together like we used to. It made me nostalgic. Why did it end? Was there even a reason?
So I took the plunge. I literally just said "hi". One thing led to another, and by the looks of things we'll meet each other again very soon.
It only took a single dream for me to realize how much I actually missed her. Apparently it was mutual, since she just won't stop blowing up my phone.
Gonna pop some xanax and go cruise country roads because no girls love me and the only ones that want anything to do with me just want sex.
And I lost my phone on sunday so have no way to listen to this country road cruising playlist I just made.
God dammit.
I am going to end my life within the next few days.
I almost succeeded last year, and thought that perhaps I failed for a reason. Nothing has improved, even though much has changed; I have lost everything that truly matters.
This is not a cry for attention, nor do I care for a bombardment of (You). I am posting this simply to make it feel real, and leave some small mark.
I have 36 crushable Opana 40mg, 36 2mg Xanax bars, 12 10mg Ambien, a handle of Jäger, and a few needles. I have never really been an IV user, but still...
I know this is more than enough to guarantee my death, as it would have even when my tolerance was at its highest. I will have some fun with this for a night, or two even, and then I can rest.
Thanks, /adv/.
I'm deathly afraid that everything I do with my gf is just a long series of mistakes because I'm not nearly as experienced as she is at all. I'm worried that she's cheating on me and doesn't want to tell me to protect my feelings and that I'm really just a stupid ignorant cuck who's dating a whore.
>>16707099
I feel like I'm about to have a mental break because I don't want to ruin the only thing that makes my life worth living and I can't tell anyone because that would mean trusting someone with the way I feel
>>16696225
I see random flashes of light out of nothing at random times during the day. I might be having a brain tumor or some shit.
Other than that I often feel like I'm hungry when I'm not and I get headaches pretty often.
I pretty much only talk irl when I have to. When I'm asked. I've gotten so used to it that I can hardly make a normal conversation.
Nobody cares.
>>16706944
Well, I may be the last person you talk to who knows, but I really insist you don't. I'm not sure why I am dragging myself into this but there is one thing to look forward man...
Not too long ago Stephen Hawking held a speech about new studies about black holes. There is a second universe. Now you may not care but what if there is something we do care about? What if we can jump from universe to universe as if each one is a personal bubble? There is so much wonder out there man. Stay alive to witness it, even if life gives you shit for it.
Do this for me anon.
Please.
>>16696225
I'm completely unhappy in this world. I have no friends, no job, and frankly no positive outlook on any successful future. I'll never be good at anything, even if I practiced like I'm doing for the rest of my life. I only wanted to make one person happy. I haven't killed myself because of my family, and the small hope that my life will miraculously turn around one day. My therapist is the most idiotic person I know and I'd rather jump off a bridge than be on a prescription. I feel like I'm going to collapse in on myself I feel so hollow. Year ago, I thought people were exaggerating but now I cry when I look in the mirror. I make myself sick.
>>16707006
I would not try to stop you anon all I would say is that if you kill yourself you will never experience relief from the problems that burden you. They will be the last thing you think of, then nothing.
>>16707006
http://gizmodo.com/5941436/how-to-make-a-gif-in-five-easy-steps
why do I still come here, it makes me sadder to be here then to be away with no advice
>>16707258
Just read poetry and philosophy. It makes me feel a bit better when I have no idea what I'm doing in life.
This one is a little different from all the other ones on here.
I live a strange fucking life, like actually.
About 3 months ago I became so unsatisfied with my social life that I felt like I had to do something about it, and well I finally did.
I ended up hanging out with "friends" who are my neighbors which are complete manipulative pricks.
TL:DR I ended up shop lifting big time.
I was such a fucking disgrace.
I learned every trick there was a know but one day I fucked up. I ended up taking from a local business but the owner was vigilant as fuck since he didn't have any cameras. I didn't have a job so I would normally take big items and sell them online for profit like a fucking rat. Sorry, it still disgusts me.
But this specific day my "friends" fucked me over. But it was surprisingly for the better.
After I had taken multiple fat packs from the shelf and was about to slip out the door. One of my friends calls me out. The store owner grabs me and throws me against the counter after swiftly grabbing me. My wrists are bleeding bad at this point since I am panicking; trying to break free from this place. I beg the store owner to let go as I see the person who called me out slip out with A LOAD of merchandise. This fucker sold me out just to get away. I ended up slashing my wrists hard against the counter to break his grasp and I booked it. He apparently called the cops on me when I didn't notice and I simply dropped the stolen merch on the floor.
Sirens blared all the way down the street as I dashed through the woods. Apparently they were actively searching for me so I switched into my gym clothes which I keep in my bag and ran and hour and half all the way to my home. At this point I was pissed. I knew I fucked up my life and I would never try shit like this again. I was B average student at this amazing school and I threw it down the fucking drain.
But I've changed, I'm double the person he is now. Eat shit.
i hate you. everything shitty in my life is your fault. you always insult me and talk to me like i'm less than garbage. and then you turn around and say you're just helping me. fuck you. being a complete evil bitch to me is not teaching me any lessons you're just making me feel like i'm a worthless piece of shit.
you want to know why i don't shower? why i don't wash my face? why i don't do my laundry? why i don't put more effort in my appearance? it's because I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT LIVING. EVENTUALLY I'LL JUST DIE AND NO ONE WILL CARE. I'm always nice to you and always try to be considerate even though you're a temperamental moody bitch who thinks the world revolves around you.
every time you get mad you bring up every single thing that you hate about me and throw it at my face. every small thing you bring it up and you destroy me over it. i don't have a boyfriend. none of my fucking friends talk to me anymore. i've isolated everyone in my fucking life because of you.
oh you want me to go out and have fun? you want me to have friends and find a boyfriend? if you really believe that why are you insulting me for that now? you insult all of my friends and you insult me for having them as friends -- oh wait they're not my friends anymore. nobody fucking talks to me anymore. the one meaningful relationship i had you fucking destroyed it. you ruined it and now the thought of just dating makes me want to vomit from the anxiety. you can't make up your fucking mind about what you want from me and you're driving me fucking insane and now my head feels like it is going to explode. everything fucking went to shit because you couldn't fucking get your shit together.
fuck you i hate you so much right now you shitty bitch. good job being a crazy mother who has made me swear off everything in my life that could potentially be ammo for you to insult me with. Now I'll die depressed, alone, and a fucking loser.
1. i just hate you and hate that i miss you and that no one will ever compare to you. you're a fucking fuck.
2. you could have me and you don't care. you're my best friend, but you frustrate me so hard on every level. sometimes i dont want to see you anymore.
3. if all else fails, i'll settle for you, i guess. you're a good person though. you can do better.
>>16707455
not this time, vlad
I'm trying this time. Wherever you are. I'll find you.
>>16707219
I have experienced nearly everything I have wanted from life, and those I still wish to experience are no longer a possibility. Unlike many, I can say I have lived, and at some points in my life, well.
I do regret my choice of alcohol, however, and will have to think of a suitable replacement. Jäger was a poor, nostalgia-driven choice.
>>16707240
>sensiblechuckle.jpg
Go back to Africa. And don't forget your coat.
Ok, I guess I will share... It's hard too though. I've developed this huge crush on my best friend's girlfriend before they were together, was to much of a pussy to say anything now they're together. Just pains me to see them together every day. I can't just forget her because she has been a good friend of mine for awhile, but at the same time I would feel like the ultimate prick to try to get them to break up, because he is my best friend. But lately he just doesn't seem like my best friend anymore, because I'm pretty sure he told her I was gay, and while I have no problem with them, I am not. So pretty sure my crush sees me as a gay friend and she dates my best friend. WOO! Isn't life amazing. But I can't really move on aswell because I don't like just anyone, it takes a shit ton of warming up and getting comfortable because I'm such a cynical guy. I've only ever had 3 big crushed like this in my life, this being the 2nd... I just feel like garbage everyday...
Please stop being so insecure. You are indeed your own worst enemy, no one thinks poorly of you except yourself. The only person who can stop you from wallowing in self pity is you, but I'm getting the sense you enjoy it and the attention it nets you.
I feel like you target me with your superiority defense mechanisms, which makes me realise you have issues with me. I'll own it since I know I haven't been the best friend, or the best person, but you know I prefer to be confronted with problems; your lack of confrontation is weak and off putting, and I don't know what you want me to improve on or apologise for. I really can't spend one on one time with you until you stop either being a sad sack or trying to hold pissing contests with me. The constant alternating between your beta-belly showing and posturing is driving me crazy and making our friendship too stressful.
And for god's sake, stop blaming your parents for your shortcomings. They're fine, they raised you fine, the proof is that your brother turned out fine.
This sort of thing just can't go on, please. I'd prefer just a conclusion of 'bye forever' to this weird set up of 'hey. how are you?' every so often, and awkward birthday greetings every year. It just sucks and I can't stand it. Please let the last message be the last and please just decide that this was some fluke and we can go back to mediocre nothingness. I'd really prefer some sort of disappointed silence, some realism, to this weird surrealist crap. It's like my life is just some sick soap opera/reality show. I just want to watch twin peaks and have it be over. Fuck I guess this is what he meant by being triggered, I'm actually triggered right now.
I mean, you're an awful person and I think I know that, or that I don't want it to be true but it lurks in my mind as a silent truth. I think I mostly just want it to never have happen, I really can't tell you how much better off I'd be, how many of these sort of things I've written, etc etc. It's a waste of my time and I don't understand my fixation with it. You know what you're doing to me when you do this sort of thing, too, how neurotic I am. You cracked my soul, what else do you want from me?
I'm comfortably introverted but able to socialize quite well with people, I'm a bit borderline alcoholic (My countries culture encourages it), but the beer scene is really all I know for night-time socializing, it doesn't impact my work and I can afford it so that's fine.
I'm told I'm funny but I feel as though I lack personal depth and I'm constantly relegated to the funnyman who drinks a lot by my peers. My looks are very average along with my physique. I hang out with mostly a lot of women, old guard and new, but none see me in a romantic or lustful way, its been 8 years since I've had any romantic connection with anyone, not even conversational flirting (I don't think I know how to anymore), I'm still a virgin, though I'll never admit it and I feel as though I have the emotional development of a teenager.
I don't feel lonely as such but it would be nice to acknowledge as another sexual being by the opposite sex just once and I feel a void inside myself and excessive gaming cannot fill it, and my out-door physical activities leave me alone with my thoughts which usually spirals me into extremely negative thinking about my state of life. I'm a happy personality but I have nothing to be happy about, I feel as though having a loved one might help, though the thought at having to maintain another's well-being and happiness to be too daunting and exhausting a task, on top of my constant worries about what I'll even say to the person in the way of daily conversation. My social circle usually expects me to carry the bulk of conversations and I'm uncomfortable with silence, I do like talking, but I'm so mentally drained of it all I feel I could snap at any time, Its just a chore to me now, a duty I have to do with no true gratification, and a whole lot lonelier than I would've expected.
Please just let it be over finally. Just one full hour, then one full day, then one full year, then ten more, and before you know it it's been a lifetime. Where did the time go? At least it's gone. Let it slip under the rug and soak up like a great pile of 'red wine'. I just want a life without you in it at all. I just want that chance. Please give it to me. I'm so close.
I'm so worried you'll leave me.
You're so much better than I am. I'm trying really really hard to get on your level but sometimes I'm just a lazy worthless drunk. I don't know how I got lucky enough to land a guy like you. Please don't leave me, I'll prove to you I can be good. I hope I'm good enough.
What just happened was that you expected something just relatively spontaneous and friendly but when notified of the situation, only talked afterwards as a courtesy/out of politeness. There was nothing else, and there will be nothing else. It was a fleeting moment of weirdness in a sea of nothingness meant to be nothing but came up as an awkward something, an odd 1 out of a binary code made up of only 0s now. It will continue to go on 0s and then you'll move away and it'll all be done and done forever. I thought it already was but the only way it's going to happen is if one of us moves far enough away to make a big difference, to make it even less worthwhile to think about, to consider, to talk. The horse has been dead for so long, I just wish I never rode it in the first place.
I am a man who swam through an ocean of empty accomplishments, drying myself off on a shore of people who haven't touched the water, feeling naked and afraid, feeling that radiance of ignorance seep through the pores of my skin, just to feel dry and crave the ocean again.
>>16707695
Be honest, how underage are you? Theoretically, of course, or work some basic subtraction with me.
I'm thinking about going to a strip club on Valintine's Day. Been single for a couple of years don't feel like drinking this year and the clubs near me don't serve alchol.
I don't know if someone will read mine, but hell, at least I write it somewhere.
I hate that I see you everyday, every hour, every break. You make me crazy, and every second I see you, my brain just goes numb and I freeze, watching you. I know I brought you to my school and the next day you were accepted, a fatal mistake I did, one I have to suffer for everytime I see you. You also rejected me, but I just come back. I want to forget you, or be with you, but I'm too ugly for the latter, and too beta for the first one. How can I forget you? How can I cut all feelings for you? How /adv/, how?
The highest amount of fuckery is that of a person who's soul disdain is the lust they feel about another person. You shouldn't feel depressed because the bitch is complicated, you should feel depressed because you aren't actively improving your self/learning/growing as a human being. Fuck everyone else. Improve yourself and realize that time and events will change the course of your life, and hey, maybe you'll find that special someone. Be one with yourself. Achieve self actualization.
>inb4 Maslows higher archly of needs
>inb4 it's natural to crave a companion
I had a really bad episode 2 nights ago that was triggered by a fight with my bf, and that resulted in him calling an ambulance and the cops on me because I hurt myself and tried to kill myself.
He stayed with me all night in hospital, which kinda surprised me tbqh.
My bf's seen me have panic attacks, he's seen me when I'm at my lowest of lows. But he's never seen me have an episode.
I'm embarrassed and ashamed and guilty. I don't even remember half of what happened (I never remember most of what happens during my episodes), and I'm too scared to ask in regards to what I said. I don't even want to know actually.
But now I'm just waiting.
For my bf to leave me.
Every time I've had an episode and/or tried to kill myself in the past 2 years that we've been together, he's left me not long after.
I'm fucking terrified he's going to leave me again. I'm playing the stupid fucking waiting game, again.
>>16706745
I'm actually really happy for you, anon. And props to you for having the balls to get back in touch with her!
Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best :)
>>16708139
>Every time I've had an episode and/or tried to kill myself in the past 2 years that we've been together, he's left me not long after.
That doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.
Went to dinner with grill, went well and kissed, both studying at medschool so time is not really free right now to hang out, exam period, she's got more shit on her mind study wise while I am doing pretty good and have passed everything so far. Went to her place and helped her out preparing for a test she had the following week, she took the initiative and made out with me then we said goodbye after finishing the session.
Asked her what her plans are this week and she never responded, I guess she is just too busy with studying? Not getting an answer at all is irking me however, I decided to just lay low and focus on myself for the time being, don't want to be needy/clingy.
Any ideas why she didn't answer and what I should/shouldn't do? So far I haven't done anything after asking her schedule, I know she has a lot of stuff to do but an answer is too much? I know she has seen the message as it's over whatsapp but she just never answered, I think focusing on myself is more important but I don't want to fuck things up by being too passive.
>tfw 25yr old virgin, she was my first kiss
Her personality is more introverted, doesn't really hang out with her group and mainly keeps to herself, studying at home, she is driven and focuses greatly on her studies, she just had a bad period which put her in a bad spot so her studies suffered a bit, she was very open when alone with her but when groupmates are around she gets kinda quiet and draws back. I kinda see my old socially afraid self in her, I used to be a lardlord with no future, I turned that around and got /fit/ + good grades/passing everything, I don't know what to do because vidya and fat kept me from getting valuable experience when younger.
I try my best not to push her away by being needy but I am also afraid of being too passive, should I write something or just put a lid on it since she didn't answer? To note is that every interaction and response before ignoring my question has been nothing but positive.
>>16707006
Initials?
>>16696225
I lack motivation to finish this paper I have been working on the past two weeks. I have to present tomorrow about it.
JUST DO IT
I think about dying a lot
But I know I won't go through with it
But it's always for a petty reason
Like low pain tolerance
Been of work for a few days following a death in my family.
Colleagues will probably have heard by now.
While I was sat at the deathbed, the anxiety from what was going to happen is nothing compared to goin' back.
It's not that I'm not sad, I am. But I swear if I hear one more "Are you okay? how are ya doing?" or "If you need to talk..." I'll go insane.
I want to work, I'm not looking for pity and I certainly don't want to talk about it. There's nothin' to talk about anyway. I just really really don't want people walking on eggshells around me...
I'm hoping no-one really knows apart from management.
>>16707944
Not underage, just really introverted... Now what I mean by major crushes is like absolutely falling for. Like sure I've had some side ones, but they are not people I think about all the time.
I'm glad I'm not fat
I have essential tremor and im only 20years old.
I cant stop thinking about it and it makes me depressed
I fear that all human interaction is fake and I'll never really be cared about by anyone for anything other than the sake of mutuality.
Sometimes I need to be alone without that multichat bullshit. Most of the times, actually.
I just used to spending all my time alone, so this kind of 'fun' doesn't really fits me. Sorry my friends.
I love you, otaku girl.
I recently got a real dank drinking buddy, she's chill and I love that I don't have to worry about being embarrassing or suggesting drinking too much etc. with her, I'm very happy to have a buddy like that because I have too many friends who are like "noo we can have fun without alcohol" and only meet me for shit like coffee but never beer while I just like getting drunk sometimes.
She's got a cute sister and for some reason (probably because of my drawings) that sister really wanted to meet me, when I was over the friend's place, the sister called her so friend asked if she can come over and when it turned out she's got work, the friend was like "so you can't come? too bad 'cause Anon is here with a bottle of vodka" and she was like "FUCK", apparently, and came later in the end. But then when she came she didn't pay attention to me much besides of sharing her instant soup with me (which I was very grateful for though, heh)
>tfw a qt girl wanted to meet me but I probably turned out too bland
I am not your slave. I work everyday to provide a life for a family that won't do it themselves. I'm tired of the stress and anxiety if being the 'boss'. Especially when I have you and another guy telling me what to do. You need to handle this shit so that I can go on with my life and do something I actually care about instead of spending all my time on this 'business'.
I'm cheating on my wife. Together for over 10 years, married for 3. 2 children.
She was my first in any sexual contact. I wasn't sexual until recently, I can't cope with her inability to feel or understand my new need for sex. I have sought it out elsewhere.
I hope that it is just a "getting it out of my system" phase, and that after trying a few new things I will slide back into my marriage with good will.
It's not that I want to leave my wife. I want to be with her forever. I just don't want sexual death at age 26.
I'm sorry sweetie. I know you will never understand. I hope I can carry this burden and pretend nothing is wrong.
>>16708514
How does a married person with children who wants to cheat act? Do you just go to some dating site or something and find a girl there, or do you consider girls you know already? If the second and the girl seems interested in you but wouldn't make a move because you're married, how'd you show that you're also interested in her?
>>16708520
Craigslist, /soc/, reddit so far.
I'm picky, so not a lot has happened.
I have considered meeting an old friend who I know had a major crush on me and see if things go off and blame it on a "drunken night that we better forget" but that sounds like a retarded plan even though she doesn't know my wife and we don't have facebook.
>>16708326
AR.
My retarded plan to make my debt less painful.
>be in credit card and personal loan debt
>have no money in the bank
>make massive payment to my lowest interest credit card from bank account
>payment goes through until bank responds with insufficient funds
>use this time to send money from credit card to myself using western union or paypal
>money is now real
>use the cash to pay overdraft fee to bank
>split up the rest to make payments on my debt
Would this work?
I just wrote a suicide note. I have no intention to actually commit suicide, but I feel like it every once in a while.
Ugh. My wife left me in the summer, told me she doesn't love me anymore, the whole thing. Not divorced and still living together because we have kids(moving out seriously isn't possible for a while). So that sucked. Then she started fucking a guy she works with, stays the night at his place once or twice a week. When I snooped and found out I was devastated. I needed someone to talk to, but most of my friends were just like, fuck her move on. The only person who would talk to me was my friend who is a girl and married to another friend. She was there to text me at 2am when I wanted to blow my brains out, and genuinely cared about me. She's also beautiful, so naturally I fell in love with her. I'm not an asshole, so I would never act inappropriately or confess that or anything. Well, the other day she tells me that she's also in love with me and that she feels like we're soul mates or something. We're both good people, and she has a good life so we agreed to not talk to each other or see each other anymore. I love her so much and know that she'll be far happier with her husband in the end. But now I have no one to talk to and just really fucking miss her. And obviously I can't tell a soul about any of it. Life is a twisted fucking joke.
Not only do I have a small penis, but it has psoriasis as well
>>16709122
Ehhh desu you guys should be together. Sucks that you cucked her husband, but once he's cucked he can't be uncucked. Life is too short to not be with someone you feel like you're soul-mates with.
The fact that you're conflicted about this tells me you're genuinely a considerate guy. I stole my current girlfriend from her LDR and I didn't feel a thing.
>inb4 edgy
>>16709165
Dude I want her so bad. But her husband is a really cool dude. If he was even slightly shitty I would have tried to get her to leave him. But he's cool and the two of them are good together (although not with the same connection). Idk, I know most guys would go for it. But she'll have a happier life with him than me I think. And my exwife fucked my best friend who tried to get her to leave me, so I kind of really hate that shit.
I went on a worsechan and got bombarded by a ton of cp, intense animal abuse that made me cringe (I'm a regular gore fan, not just on here, and it still was enough to actually stop the video), using "4channer" as an insult. Mostly worsechan seems to mostly be about cp and talking about worse cp in a way that is too far. It was leaked that they log your IP and which images you viewed and expanded, which is wonderful since the home page is flooded with things you wouldn't want the FBI or NSA associating your with. Makes 8cunts look like, well, child's play. Dunno whether to try to report the place (like I'd be the first), just forget about it and feel comforted that I live comically close to an NSA base, or what?
>>16709325
I'm sure some people know worsechan in question... But I don't wanna be a mothercucking advertiser for them
initials?
How much xanax with alcohol would it take for one to die? Don't have much xanax, but I have a lot of alcohol. This is for educational purposes.
>>16709418
More than you have unless you are also going to mix methadone with it. Tolerance has a huge impact on it.
>>16709439
Damn. I'm thinking I might try to get a script for it. The doctor said she'd only give me Buspirone for my anxiety because people abuse Xanax. And Buspirone does absolutely 0 for me. I just want my bars lady. I'll have to schedule an apt sometime.
Thanks anon
>>16709418
Don't do it. But if you're dead set, heroin or insulin are the safest/painless
>>16709467
Not heroin. That's how my best friend/cousin went. Don't want the family to blame her or get reminded her again on top of my death
>>16709467
Don't underestimate xanax and methadone mix. Just fall asleep and forget how to breath. It's a well known mixture in pillhead circles that we've all been to funerals because of.
>>16709464
Snort buspirone and get a massive headache after it seems like time slows down. In a bad way. In case you ever get curious and wonder.
>>16707006
Better blow your brains out, OD'ing on oxy is painful.
>>16707006
Opana is complicated to prepare for IV, especially if not used to it, would just snort. Xanax isn't water soluble, would need to add a couple drops of lemon juice or an acid to spoon water to get best iv, better to put benzos under your tongue and let them melt for best intake. Ambien is fun as fuck to bang, 3 or 4 of them in a spoon, heat water a bit to help draw, profit. Make you goofy as fuck for a minute, world looks crazy after rush. Pills are going to make you throw up, at least take some Dramamine (phenergen is what you want ideally) to keep yourself from throwing up after you pass out.
I have massive anxiety for a three day trial on a boarding school known for bullying. I'm scared shitless because I look like the stereotypical movie nerd and also because I have serious anxiety when it comes to sports. I could break into tears any second, shit.
>>16707006
i'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but only consider doing what you plan to do when there would be absolutely no regrets left to hold onto
I feel the same
I need to get a job and get the fuck away from my family. They're toxic and each day I spend here makes me even more depressed and lethargic.
Gonna get a haircut and go job hunting.
I hate people from Los Angeles.
Long story short...
I love my girlfriend but she doesn't show affection like she used to and it's ripping my heart in pieces. I want to dump her so that I'd never have to think about her again but I know I'd just be more miserable. I can't leave her though because I'm still holding on to the thought that everything will eventually be the same as it used to be. It's never going to happen though, I just know it.
I hate her but I love her.
I don't want to be with her. She's driving me crazy but I can't leave her either because she's just too perfect for me...
>>16708465
I was diagnosed with the same 8 years okay. Mine occurs primarily in my head and hands. Trust me, you will be okay. Take care of yourself and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. :)
>>16709988
Initials?
