So it's like a "you feel this way, because everone is telling you you're supposed to feel like a helpless victim."

For example, men are raped in prison all the time, much more violently (and painfully) than what I described, yet many if them just cope with it, and move on.

Women were raped throughout history all the time, and the worst part was having a child from that person, some random knight or raider, not "muh feels."

It's just my thoughts, and especially when you think of Rape Culture... we live in a society in which rape is seen as worse than murder, when in fact, most rape cases are something a person should be able to shrug off and move on from.

I'm not justifying rape mind you. Nor am I saying people should do this, but I do think people overplay and exaggerate the impact it has on a person, and this very thing in fact causes MORE problems for the victim than otherwise.

You teach people that it's ok to surrebder to a victim mentality, and not take responsibility for their own actions.

Im a dude but if I got raped by a man I'd kill myself. Maybe that's not relevant here.

Don't forget how sensitive (weak) women are.

>>16695891
I wouldn't kill myself.

If it happens it happens.

It'd be painful, for sure, since it'd be my anal virginity, but also, I know how to fight, so supposing it was a coupke dudes stronger than me, I'd probably get the ever living shit kicked outta me in the process.

It would suck, it'd be shitty, but with time I'd move on.

I certainly wouldn't start binging on drugs and playing myself up as some martyr or whatever though.

As for women, I disagree. They're emotional for sure, but not weaker emotionally.

I think the root of the problem lies in that women develop stronger emotional attachments to situations, and if encouraged, will cling to certain feelings, because they like feeling certain emotions.

But it's also not like you can tell a girl "oh, just get over it" because that certainly won't work. She'll certainly need support, but the right kind of it. The way society overplays rape I feel is more harmful than good though, that's what I'm saying.

We should be honest, there are far worse things a person can go through than rape.

>>16695891
>calls women weak
>would kill himself if he was raped

I'm with you all the way, OP. I got raped at age 8. It hurt like hell (my ass was stretched for like 4 days after) and it was kinda scary, but other than that it was just... Weird and unpleasant. I did cry like a bitch that night because i knew that what had happened was "wrong" on some level, and I felt ashamed. However, I don't think it fucked me up (pun intended), ar least not in a major way.

If an 8 year old boy can get over it, then I sure as hell think a grown ass woman should be able to do it, too.

>>16695942
That's so awful that happened to you anon at age 8.. How can you be so nonchalant about it?

are mods over payed?

Nah. I'm a grill and I agree with some of what you say. I don't think it's something that /should/ be shrugged off that easily (that's a prescriptive statement) but I do think it's something simple enough to be overcome-able with just a bit of effort.

I can and does have serious impact depending on circumstances and...*drum roll* culture. If you say rape is awful, rape is the worst thing that can happen to a person, rape is traumatic, it destroys lives, it's something that sticks with you FOREVER! then, well, if you're raped after that you're more likely to think it a life-changing event.

Like cultures that valued honor above all and verbal offense was a valid reason for murder. I'm sure people were traumatized over a simple "ur mom is a whore", because their culture told them that was traumatic. Thing is, there's not much you can do. Ours is a culture that loves the loser and hates the strong. Just like education levels out from the dumber, trauma levels out from the most sensitive ~so that no one is left behind~. If you say the things you're saying now, that's disrespectful to the weaker.

TL; DR: Yeah, it is, nothing you can do about it, it's not just about feminism or wymin, look at the bigger picture.

>>16695891
It's more that they're told to be. You're weak too if you'd kill yourself over that.

>>16695952
I've been asking myself that question for about 15 years now, haven't really got a good answer for you. I guess that in the end of the day, it was just a dick up my ass. It hurt like hell but so does getting a concussion.

I did however keep it a secret for over 10 years and my family still doesn't know so I guess it had SOME impact on me, although it's never been crippling.

>>16695952
>How can you be so nonchalant about it?
And this is what he's talking about. He got over it and yet somehow you question his getting past it is somehow wrong. Victim hood can be state of mind incited by others.

>>16695963
Oh no, that's exactly my point. I didn't intend it to mean like it was about feminism. You took the words right from my mouth in fact. It's mostly cultural.

>>16695968
So much this.

>>16695968
This.
>someone is raped
>It's shitty, but not that big a deal, person doesn't feel overly bad about it
>oh no, how did you get over that? That's so awful!!
>hmm, maybe I SHOULD feel worse about this, maybe I'm abnormal if I don't

It's social conditioning, and it pushes people into developing weaker character

>>16695971
Ah, I'm sorry, I'm too used to seeing this POV from people way too vocally against feminism (which is a shame because they're right, but coming from a very unhealthy point that is "I think I should be allowed to rape").

I was "raped" too, and sexually harassed - respectively: coerced into anal sex with a guy who was 22 when I was 14, had a stranger sit beside me on a bus, masturbate, and cum over my shoes at 13. All that's left is a strange sexual fantasy that's fainter than a proper fetish.

It's cultural, and this culture is probably not going to go away anytime soon. Which is silly, because neither is rape. The current approach is stupid as hell and only makes sure victims will suffer even more in its attempts to make it so that nobody suffers at all ("hey, let's make sure everybody knows that RAPE IS BAD AND WILL LEAVE YOU DAMAGED FOREVER so that rapists will stop! yeah, that'll convince them!"). People are always going to get raped, and unlike murder it's not really life-annihilating.

>>16695986
Well hey, I admire your strength of will, and your ability to look at things through an objective lens.

You basically said what I wanted to express, but better articulated.

My reasons for making the thread was because of the girl I mentioned in the OP. When I met her, she told me sob story, which obviously made me feel a lot of empathy for her (and romantic feelings developed). We eventually parted ways, and I was still committed to being a supporting figure in her life, because again, I felt sorry for her, as I saw it her mental illness was a result of something someone imposed on her, and it didn't seem fair. Eventually, she came to reject me helping her out and being a friend, as she preoccupied herself with her usual chaos, even resented the fact that I wanted to help her.

So I pondered about things, and came to this conclusion.

As for the person in question, she seems to me as someone who feeds off attention, and likes playing herself up as she does, but never takes responsibility.

So, by further hearing other people agree with my thoughts, it further cemented tge idea that had been building for over a year.

I agree with, rape is nowhere near as bad as murder, yet that can still be played up for laughs, and joked about. But society has made a huge taboo out of rape, and that has ultimately been worse for the victims especially.

If I really think about it, I'd say rape is on par to getting the shit beat out of you. They both cause equal levels of psychological trauma, and both make the victim feel powerless. Neither is a fun experience, but people can overcome them.

For all it's worth, I think it's absurd to deem rape as the one topic you can't joke about, or is "crossing the line" if depicted in media that constantly worships senseless murder and violence. Game of Thrones and Sansa come to mind.

>>16695891
Homosex is different.

>>16695877
>Am I the only one who thinks that the impact rape can have on a person is overplayed in modern society?
You aren't the only person who thinks it, but you are wrong.

>>16695891
>>if I got raped, I'd kill myself
>>women are weak.

Kek.

>>16695877
that girl is an idiot. You can't develop bipolar disorder. You're pretty much born with it.

However, personally, when I was younger, I got into sexual situations that didn't sit right with me after. Not sure if it was guilt, shame, etc.

The night I lost my virginity, I dated this popular guy when i was 15. And I was very afraid to have sex. I had gotten high for the first time and was too paranoid to go home thinking my mom would find out. I asked him if I could spend the night at his house. I think he thought this meant I wanted to have sex. But I said no and that I was too nervous. I was so dizzy and just wanted to sleep. But when I realized he wasn't going to give up, I just caved and consented.

While this whole experience felt really weird. I questioned myself hard if I really even wanted to do that with him or if I was being taken advantage of. I don't think it was violent rape and it hasn't fucked me up forever and stuff. But I stopped dating that guy almost immediately.

I say this as if I have something to compare to because I do. I was sexually assaulted as a child by an adult. And honestly, I didn't feel the pure fear and terror that I did as a child. Literally nothing in my life has been worse than that time period. No amount of creepy guy hitting on me, or guy being too touchy, or even a guy semi convincing me to have sex ever fucking amounts to the emotional pain of being raped as a child by a trusted adult. I went through 9 years of therapy and I still tear when I think about it.

It literally disgusts me when I hear stories of women crying rape. However, I also think that with young women, we are not trained on how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

>>16696012
Girl is an idiot, but she still seems like she's mentally ill. Not with the stuff she convinced herself she has,
>feeds off attention, and likes playing herself up as she does, but never takes responsibility.
she's likely borderline. Brought about by rape or not, I suggest you do not pity the insane. It's no use, they won't change - they can't, that's the whole point - so they'll never recognize or appreciate what you give. There are exceptions of course, but the narcissist cluster b type is all bad and should be avoided.

1) as a guy, you should understand and respect the fact that there are some things that you simply don't understand about women. For example, men are taught to "just get over" things without fully exploring them emotionally. You have no idea how you would feel if another man forced himself on you sexually- to say that you would be able to instantly move on like it was nbd is more a reflection of your gender role than your personal feelings.
2) I was non violently raped. I moved on, but it did fuck me up. Physically, he tore my ass and vagina up, but I don't count it as violent since he didn't beat the crap out of me with his fists. I kind of tried to brush it off and disassociate from the event at the time (like most women, statistically, do) but there are lasting effects that I had no way of anticipating and cannot rationally control. I got panic attacks, nightmares, and I can no longer feel "desire" for men. I did not anticipate that I would have these involuntary reactions, and you could easily have these aswell. Being raped once and then moving on sounds great, but the reality is that when you have to re-live it every night in your sleep, and you feel anxious and fearful all the time for no explicable reason, it starts to make you crazier.
3) have you ever been violated when you were not sexually aroused? Have you ever had a large object shoved into your anal cavity when you absolutely did not want it there at all?

I'm not trying to be rude- there ARE a lot of feminazis who claim rape when it has not happened to them, but to say that any non-violent rape is "not so bad" is pretty close minded. There are plenty of guys who have been in similar situations, and who have the same reaction as their female counterparts.
Idk about some girls, but I was a virgin when I was raped, so there is also a lot of loss of identity, self-disgust, and devaluation associated with the event for me

>>16696309
> You can't develop bipolar disorder. You're pretty much born with it.
Who said this? Bipolar disorder is developed, and is also treatable. It is not considered to be a personality disorder.

I'd also like to add, though, that your friend is a total idiot.
My roommate last year was really in to cocaine "because she got raped".
When she described the situation to me, is sounds more like she had a drunken hookup with her military BF behind his back and claimed rape to save face.

Here's a hint: people who have issues with self-reflection/improvement and poor self control are the first to claim rape when it didn't happen to excuse their bad behavior. I've known people who have literally gone out looking to "get raped" so that they can have an excuse to fuel their bad habits further.

I always assumed these people were mentally ill. Please do not associate rape victims with these people who use bad experiences to excuse bad habits. This is not just a girl//rape thing, either. I dated a guy who used his dad's sudden death as an excuse when he got in to drugs and cheated on me.

This is a reflection of poor character, and rape victims dislike these people just as much as you do because, by using rape as an excuse, they delegitimize the actual pain associated with it and confuse people like you who begin to see it as an "excuse" rather than what it truest is. Same goes for tumblr feminists who scream rape for being looked at for over 2 seconds- they have no idea how it feels to actually be raped, and claiming that their mild discomfort is the same as having a dick tear your ass apart is increasingly offensive.

TLDR: don't let your experience with this one melodramatic druggie affect your opinion of rape so drastically.

>>16696309
Hmm...

This is intersting, because from her story, they did go to court over the issue, but the guy was never deemed guilty by the judge, according to her, because there was no evidence since she washed off his semen after getting home.

In fact, she didn't tell anyone for three days, until she eventually confided in her brother who freaked out, and told her parents the incident.

She was 14, and had been drinking at a party of his.

What I mean to say us that I heard the story through HER perspective, but after hearing yours, upon second though, I somehow feel something like your story is closer to the truth.

Reason being is because she lies a lot. She often lied to me over silly things, stupid things, but it's almost like a compulsive liar. She used to jokingly brag about how good a liar and manipulator she was.

All things considered, I really feel like her version of the story is a twisted retelling of the events she herself might have fully bought into.

It wouldn't surprise me desu.

>>16696309
that first situation you described wasn't rape. You got higher, reluctantly consented to sex, and then kinda regretted it later. That's how most people lose their virginity lol.

>>16696431
>>16696344
Alright, thanks for the insight anon. It's all been very useful.

I'll keep your words in mind and meditate on it further. Because you're right, my experience on this whole thing is limited to that of one person I've met. One who, btw, was the sole source of all the information I got about her life.

>>16695963
>ours is a culture that loves the loser and hates the strong

So wrong.

>>16695986
Would you pls elaborate on the 'being coerced into anal sex at 14' part :)

>>16696462
I understand why you think the way you do, anon. I was actually pretty similar before I was raped myself.

A lot of us who have been raped but are trying to get over it are very quiet about it. I've only ever told my parents (since they had to sign a form to get me released from the hospital), but the people who are the most vocal are usually the ones who are using their experience for attention/sympathy/as an excuse.

no offense but that lady friend of yours sounds really crazy.

>>16696264
Why is that wrong?

>>16696469
>A lot of us who have been raped but are trying to get over it are very quiet about it. I've only ever told my parents

Yeah see, this is the most interesting thing about this for me. She first hinted at it to me one time when we were talking about sex, I asked her what her first time was like, and she got uncomfortable, and the she said that the time "she counts as her first time" was ok.

It wouldn't be until like a year later that we were more intimately close that she would tell me the whole story.

I remember that many times, when she had a depressive episode she'd get all regretful about that event. Not really talk about it, but express certain blame on that incident.

I remember her asking me one time that if I could go back in time and redo a part of my life, what I I'd change.

Now, what's crazy about all this is that despite how long it took her to confide it in me, she actually told a mutual friend that she'd met at about as the same time as me almost a month after they'd met.

Not only that, but she often liked talking about sex, sometimes with the people she was confortable with, and sometimes with the random nerds in our circle of friend to make them uncomfortable.

>>16696489
Because society if anything trivializes rape, and you sitting there thinking *any* sort of societal attention on rape is overplaying it proves that exact point.

>>16696469

However, a lot of this, as well as her stories (such as sex in school, threesomes, sex on drugs, lesbian sex, etc...) didn't strike me as the sort of things a rape victim would feel overly comfortable doing. I just shrugged it off as bipolar behavior. She told me that after her incident, she had trouble getting comfortable with sex again, and it was thanks to her bf at the time, and his patience that she did it. But also, she told me a couple stories of her having sex in school and getting caught by her teachers.

She also sent me nudes.... she's just someone overly comfortable with sex for a rape victim I guess.

So its incongruent, but bipolar people are incongruent. I have no doubt she was "raped" in some way, since she claims to have the symptoms, panic attacks, etc...

To me, I saw it as a cry for attention, and a cry for help, and I bought into it.

Didn't really question it. What bugs me, and really fuels this way of thinking, was that when the romantic interest faded, I was still intersted in being her friend, because I felt pity for her.

I wouldn't date a girl like her desu, but I'm also not a jealous guy. I have quite the ease meeting women.

It just really bugged me to be dropped at the turn of a hat like that. Despite making an intimate bond with someone. It really felt like my efforts at helping a person went unappreciated, especially because that person was quite happy playing up the victim.

If I'm honest, it really did make me quite bitter at the whole idea. I felt... used, and manipulated, for someone's entertainment.

Definitely the strangest girl I'd ever met

>>16696489
It's a polarized, knee jerk reaction to a radical view.
simply because you disagree with something, you're taking on the opposing view rather than being more towards the middle.
Like,
>gay marriage is legalized
>"BURN THE GAYS, THEY ARE EVIL!!" (Polarized opinion 1)
>"no!! The gays are celebrating true love and freedom!! Caitlyn Jenner is a hero for coming out as a transgender!!" (Polarized, knee jerk reaction to homophobia)

In the example, a lot of the people who feel so empowered to defend gayness are only doing so because they hate the bigotry of the first statement.
A more moderate reaction would be "you should respect the rights of these individuals as an American citizen."
Idolize get and celebrating gayness just because someone else was attacking it does not make sense, but it happens all the time anyway.

It's just like how people started to develop "anti femenist" propaganda after seeing femenazis. They're not agains femenism, they're against radical extremists, but by saying they're "against feminism", they're placing themselves on the other side of the radical spectrum.


To say that you think rape is "no big deal" because the one girl you know who has claimed to be raped is a druggie nutjob is a knee jerk reaction.
You probably know more women who have been raped, but have not shared that info with you.

>>16696511
Not to defend her, but some rape victims become very promiscuous after their event in order to subconsciously ease the impact of the rape. They think that if they have a lot of different sexual encounters, the instance of rape will fade away as "just another wierd hookup". This is one of the two common reactions. The other common reaction is what I am (not being able to feel attraction).

if she is happy playing the victim, then she will stay a victim her whole life. You are right about one thing- and it's that society makes it very easy to be a victim.
The thing is, there's nothing to do to fix that. At one point, having people so we're very sympathetic and treated me like a victim was helpful, because I otherwise would not have gotten the help I needed. I did not want to go to the hospital after I was raped, I did not want to file a police report, I did not want to go to therapy, etc. I only did those things because people in authority positions told me that I would regret it later if I didn't, and that I was depressed and not mentally capable of making the decision for myself. I would have ended up being impacted a lot longer by what happened if I hadn't taken those steps.

The issue is when people won't move on because they don't want to feel uncomfortable. Those people tend to still be very fragile, so you can't really just tell them to "move on".
Do you have any suggestions as to what a Better method would be of handling a situation like that? How do you make people take the step between victim hood and rehabilitation of they are unwilling?

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>>16695877
honestly I totally
just compare today's culture with how rape was prevalent in medieval times up to the 1940s or so
I think that even women were making less of a deal out of it, and I think it'd be much more akin to a dude being somewhat violently mugged now
But it's totally impossible to say that IRL

It's the feeling of having all the power stripped from you. You feel weak and humiliated on top of whatever pain there is. And if it's someone you know (which it often is), there's the sense of betrayal. I was raped by an acquaintance, I reacted by being enraged for a few months, and am now a lot more distrustful.

Wouldn't say it ruined me, but I'm a lot more paranoid. Plus embarrassed by how easily he overpowered me, even though I had no chance, I was a 100 lbs girl up against a fucking Marine. I wish I knew his last name, so I could find him again and spray bear mace into his eyeballs. Reporting it did nothing because he didn't cum in me and I didn't know his full name. It's a shame.

>>16696543
Women weren't making less of a deal about it, they just didn't have a voice. The term sexual assault wasn't even crated until the 1970's. Even then women radically opposed rape, but since women were viewed as men's property, they had no power to create a change.

>>16696511
>However, a lot of this, as well as her stories (such as sex in school, threesomes, sex on drugs, lesbian sex, etc...) didn't strike me as the sort of things a rape victim would feel overly comfortable doing
People react to being raped in all kinds of weird ways. Some even change over time, as they find one method doesn't work out for them and try another.

The behavior you're describing is called "washing it away": in essence, trying to drown out the bad associations with a flood of good ones. I don't think it's the most common reaction, but it isn't rare.

>>16695877
I've been raped but it really didn't affect me that much emotionally. Sure, I felt violated for a bit, but who wouldn't? Maybe I'm in the extreme minority, but it is what it is, man. You just have to move on from it. It doesn't have to be this monumental thing that ruins your life. But, that's only my perspective.

I wasn't violently beaten within an inch of my life, like some women are when they're raped. I think I'd be much more traumatized if that was the case.

>>16696510
Didn't think that amount of shit would fit into just one post. Kudos.

>>16695881

I agree with OP. Technically I was "raped" when I got drunk with a male friend and we ended up fucking. I went on to consensually fuck him several times. It's not even a problem. If I were sober I would have agreed anyway.

I've also been sexually assaulted by friends of friends and honestly I don't give a flying shit. I took a shower and went on with my life. Wow, he put his finger in my vagoo, big deal. I got bigger shit to worry about.

The media plays it up like rape is worse than murder, but I don't think so, unless he gives you the aids or something. Get the fuck over it. Penis goes in vagoo, like I haven't had that before.

Even my dad bought their shit. He said rape is the worst thing you can do to a woman because it robs her of everything she was. Like excuse me? That's pretty much saying my only worth was sex and that's pretty offensive. People need to stop saying retarded things to score points with femicunts. And for the love of god, two drunk people fucking is not rape. That's like the entire point of getting drunk. What, did they mutually rape each other? Shit makes no sense.

>>16695891

>says women are weak
>would kill himself if he got homo cooties

You're a closet faggot.

>>16696623
>thinks she has any idea about rape from a drunken hookup and being unwillingly fingered

nice b8. You don't feel shit bc you weren't raped

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>>16696623
>I got drunk with a male friend and we ended up fucking

Is /adv/ the final resting place of used up whores?

>>16696623
> I was "raped" for getting drunk with a friend and fucking

That's not rape, so no wonder you don't feel like shit

>>16696632
Legally it is.

>>16695877
Almost all women I know have been through this... But many are afraid to say the word rape, and instead have to spend years working through trauma. Several of my friends have killed themselves because of it. No one cares if you were passed out and someone rapes you, people like OP think that only pure, innocent virgins can be raped.

The fuck do you mean, "especially considering how women are." Many are afraid to stand up for themselves and want to fit in above all else, even when it hurts us

It's not overplayed. Even kids use it in conversations. Kill some guy in call of duty? "dude that guy got raped" etc.

The problem arises when the false rape claims come up, it really detracts from the severity of the real crimes. Either way, we need to be supportive to make sure people get the help they need. Not everyone can just bounce back and not everyone's rape is the same set of circumstances. It's an extremely traumatizing event for some and should be looked at seriously.

>>16696630
>used up whores?

Nice broscience. Last guy I fucked said my vagina was pretty, really pink and small. Be jealous.

>>16696628
>>16696632

That is the legal and popular definition of rape.

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>>16696699
>be jealous of a used up whore

You made me drop my frosted animal cookie because I laughed so hard

>>16696699
Shut up, you're making women look bad.

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>>16696719
Women are usually bad

There's like .00001% that are passable as humans

>>16696703
>>16696726
Bro, your trip is "Kylo Pegasus" you literally can't het more homosex than that. What are you, 14?

>>16696699
no, that's the femenazi version of rape.
If you were drunk, and he was drunk, who's to say that you didn't rape him? Neither of you could consent, right?
Rape cases that involve alcohol only go anywhere if the girl is drunk but the boy soberly takes advantage of her.
When both partners are drunk, there's a lot more grey area.
Drunken sex happens like all the time and most people don't even think of it as rape

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>>16696748
Its not a secret I like cute feminine meaty dicks

I'm not 14 though, that's a bit rude

Please stay on topic

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>>16696750
>stay on topic
I'm the OP bruh. Your trip is pretty gay.

And not like cool gay bro gay, more like, insufferable butthurt edgy dweeb gay.

>>16696758
I don't care who you are you f*ckin homophobic shitlord

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>>16696766

>>16696811

One meme man is worse than Attack on Titan

>>16696813
Ok

>>16696818
NO. JUST NO. YOU SHOULD QUIT DISCRIMINATING PARARACIAL-ALIGNED CAMABS, YOU CISHET-NORMATIVE REDDITOR!!!!!!!! YOU'RE LITERALLY PERPETUATING INSTITUTIONALIZED MASCULINITY & GENDER ENTITLEMENT, YOU SMALLFAT-PRIVILEGED SEXIST!!!!!! YOU SHOULD RESPECT ANIMAL RIGHTS SEPARATISM??????? don't mention weight loss labels, it's triggering to me!!!!! WHY DO YOU SEXUALIZE DEMIGENDER, ARACIAL & MULTISPECIES-TYPE VICTIMS??????? CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A POST ABOUT GRAYAMOROUS SURVIVORS THAT DOESN'T GET CO-OPTED BY FUCKING WHITE-NORMATIVE PEOPLE???? you cannot fight cisgender culture & uterus-bearer domination using white entitlement.

No way, a middle class white guy has an opinion on rape not being that big of a deal based on a personal experience, not of rape of course but of knowing a girl. My word how special and qualified you are, your opinion sure is valid and important.

>>16696766
You will never become famous ever. On an anonymous message bored. Stop it. You are just using an easy place like /adv/ to think you are doing good you aren't.

>>16695877
Rape is overplayed but its still something bad.

>>16696833
You will never become famous ever. On an anonymous message bored. Stop it. You are just using an easy place like /adv/ to think you are doing good you aren't.

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>>16696852
Also

"On an anonymous message bored"

Not only does this lack a verb, its BOARD

Like I said

Laughing at stupid people

>>16696842
>if I white knight hard enough, maybe someday I'll get laid

Read the thread you imbecile.

>>16695877
If you don't want advice you should drop by >>>/pol/

>>16696309

That is terrible that happened to you as a child. We don't have the mental capacities to deal with that kind of violence as a child, and I am using violence in the term of unwanted physically painful actions inflicted upon you.

>>16696012

How we deal with something like a rape or a molestation or even getting the shit beaten out of you is pretty much determined by what happens immediately after the event is over.

Neurologically after some violent event occurs to us, an injury or a rape, or killing a man, or an accident, or generally anything that immediately causes our adrenaline to surge in our bodies... what will happen is after the event has just ended our Amygdala part of our brain starts storing sensations and memories. This is a very primitive part of the brain that controls our fight or flight response.

When we are later exposed to stimuli or similar events our amygdala responds to these imprinted proto memories and instructs our physiological responses to take over. This is what causes things like panic attacks and PTSD episodes to occur.

The Amygdala is not part of the cortex so it doesn't respond to logical thought or reasoning. This is why you can't counsel reason your way out of a panic attack. It is pure unadulterated fear.

The trick is that if you are accepting and understanding of what just happened to you right after the event and you are able to calm yourself down soon after lowering your adrenaline then your amydala will not imprint the event quite as strong. It is when we panic and get scared after a terrible event that the amygdala imprints and causes problems later in life.

EMDR therapy helped me get through PTSD and it worked for rape and molestation as well. It is more effective than traditional counseling as it addresses the amydala and diffusing imprinted memories within it. I highly recommend it if you have trouble.

honestly you're so wrong. Rape is rape.

My girlfriend had a terrible experience of violent rape about two years ago and it still haunts her to this day. She gets panic attacks and can be triggered by seeing rape in movies or on TV or other things. It's awful.

I was molested by a good friend of mine while he thought I was "sleeping" and this being about a year or two ago, it still bothers me deeply. And I feel a loathing for him like none other.

Being sexually violated in any way, even if it's non violent can be extremely disturbing and leave a lifelong impact on some. It's not something to be taken lightly or something that should be downplayed.

>>16697373
Worse than murder?

>>16698019
>Worse than murder?
Up in that tier when it stops making sense to rank them individually anymore. "Better" or "worse" are so intensely personal at that level that they stop making much sense to even use.

>>16696748
I always feel really sorry for /adv/ because of that obnoxious tripfag posting pointless replies everywhere to be the "lel so funneh pegasus guy"

Just pretend his name is "Tumblr" and it falls into place.

>>16698019
Depends on the person.
If you strongly identify with your sexuality to the point where it destroys your sense of self, then yes, because it's basically like a form of torture.
Many rape victims kill themselves because the panic attacks and ptsd is too much for them to handle.


Personally, I don't think it's as bad as murder because that's the worst. But it rape is the second worst

>>16696931
I have been struggling with nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks etc... from when I was sexually abused by an ex gf. My therapist has told me that I should be considering EMDR as a treatment option because I have been going to therapy for over a year and although there have been some improvements, namely not wanting to kill myself every day, the progress has slowed to down to a stand still. So I will definitely have to bring it up with her.

Thanks anon.

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>>16698091
How triggered are you lmfao

hot damn