Ive been with my fiance ever seen he met me while he was vacation in taiwan and he gave me his number and email. We kept a long distance relationship secret until i turned 18 (met when i was 15 and he was 25) and he sent for me to move to America with him, i hadnt even finished school before i moved. My family had no idea because they would not have approved.
Fast forward 3 years, we have been engaged for a year and are living in a brand new beautiful home. I cook and clean and spend all my time with him. I am truly in love and want to spend my life with him but after new years this year he got up and made his own breakfast which is unlike him and asked me to sit with him. He tells me that he's fallen out of love with me and that I've taken his best years from him when he couldve been partying and hooking up with girls like the rest of his friends, he tells me that he feels that he deserves a more fun life and all i do is hold him back...
This devastates me, he also tells me that i need to move out by the time he gets back from a business trip next week, i can take whatever i want but i just have to be gone... i have nowhere to go, he kind of made me cut off contact from my family and i have no job and no highschool diploma, all i know how to do is clean and be a housewife... part of me just wants to take all of my sleeping pills and let him find me when he comes back... my life means nothing now thati can't be with him... the other half just wants to pack what i can and travel... I've saved up a little bit of money but i have no direction and no goals... i feel as if im better off dead, it will help him get over me quicker. I love him even though he hates me. I have no reason to live anymore...
Im a sheep with no guide... what do i do?
>>16684623
Finish school.
Don't be a stool, have your own hobbies, keep being interesting.
Find someone who will actually care for you
what you can do is take whatever you want and start a new life , go back to your parents maybe , they'll be super happy to have you back
what a dick. im so sorry.
>>16684671
They will probably hate me. I have been gone from their lives for 3 years
>>16684686
Its ok... he's usually nice other than this...
>>16684631
Im not much of a learner...
The only hobby I can think of is videogames and reading stories about the lore...
I don't know how to meet people and flirt and stuff like that... it will be a long time before i am over him as well...
Falling out of love happens. But if he really said what you wrote, man, what an asshole.
>>16684791
He has been hanging out with a really not-so-righteous group of people lately and i feel like they may have changed him... he would've never said anything like this before.
>>16684720
they won't , they must be missing you everyday
>>16684631
>>16684671
Do this OP. if your reasonably attractive, which i'll bet you are, you should be able to find this
>Find someone who will actually care for you
in no time. Try to contact your parents. if they'll have you back and treat you like an adult with agency then good. If they act like they'll disown you or your nothing to them, then fuck em. You can find a way to live without them. And remember, not all guys are dicks likes your SO. There are decent guys better than him who would love to have, appreciate and stay faithful to, a qt like you
>>16684930
I miss them so much... my mother is one of the nicest ladies i know. Although she does have a stern side. I just hope they'll forgive me for running off with some man they did not know.
>>16684970
That's the thing... im not over all of this and i still love him. How can i commit myself to someone else if i am having difficulties moving on from my previous relationship. Is there any good way to get over someone? And about my parents. Its a 50/50 chance i believe. But i really do hope they welcome me back.
>>16685042
>That's the thing... im not over all of this and i still love him. How can i commit myself to someone else if i am having difficulties moving on from my previous relationship. Is there any good way to get over someone?
All I can say to that is your going to have to somehow. Would you say pining after a man who treated you like shit is good? If not then find a way to move on. He obviously doesn't love you like you love him. If he did, he would never have done what he did. And if he says he does while still being unrepentant and showing no signs of true change, he's a liar.
>And about my parents. Its a 50/50 chance i believe. But i really do hope they welcome me back.
Well, that's a start. At least try and find out. If they welcome you good, if they don't. Find your own way
>>16684623
>met when i was 15 and he was 25
>I cook and clean and spend all my time with him
>he kind of made me cut off contact from my family and i have no job and no highschool diploma
Maybe I'm reading too far into this, but this guy sounds like a predator. He has completely cut you off from the outside word. The conditions he met you are rather suspect, and now he is manipulating you.
However, OP, you probably have a lot more power right now (legally speaking) than you think. If you have any documentation that you've been living with him for three years, you can make a case that you are his common law wife. This guy probably just took you for a ride. Just putting it out there that you can dish it right back if you want.
As for what to do right now? I agree with other anons: get in touch with your parents. Do you have US citizenship? (If not, how did you stay here?) Is there any way you could get a job? Do you have any friends you could lean on for the short term?
Also, be very wary of any mysterious "offers" that present themselves to you in the near future. What you have described is a very common way of getting girls into the sex trade.
>>16685474
I think i have some proof because the first week i was here i used a disposable camera to take pictures of us together and i had them printed and they have the date on them. Also i still have the email with my plane ticket info. What's a common law wife? I called my aunt an hour ago and she said my mom misses me very much, she thought i was gone forever. I feel so bad... also i know o made a bad decision but i was only 15 and i lived in a poor part of taiwan and he gave me a way out and hope for a better future... that's why he became my everything and i accepted it, because workout him, i'd properly be in a sweatshop.
>>16685373
Times will be tough for a long time... im trying to find places to hold all of my belongings and places to sell all my jewelry. I even started drinking his alcohol since he's gone and never let me touch it... apparently so far, my mom wants me back, not sure about my dad.
>>16684623
Wow this is rough. Don't self harm yourself, whereas your situation looks bleak it is still salvageable. It's a shame you were with someone that long and then they decide to do this to you.
>>16684623
What state? You might qualify for common law marriage.
Honestly you should talk to a divorce lawyer, most will hear you out for free, and if you can get anything, then charge a fee out of the total.
Dont let him fuck around with you like that. DONT leave when he is back, he has to formally EVICT YOU, and if you have nowhere to go HE CANT.
Bring home random guys and fuck them in the living room, make his life a fucking hell.
Holy shit you are in such a position to destroy his life
>>16686174
Also, holy shit, you could do so much damage to his character going around talking how he groomed you at 15 years of age then basically kidnapped you to America.
Make him give you at least XXX cash to avoid talking to local news if you want to blackmail.
>>16686174
>>16686177
This is actually one of the few cases where I think the girl blackmailing the guy is actually right to do. Damn this dude sounds like a total asshole.
>>16686174
But we are only engaged, not full marriage, we live in illinois but we spent a lot of our relationship in Florida. But he pays for the house and everything. How can he not kick me out? Im not into revenge sex... honestly I've barely had true sex because he has particular entryways and i think it would embarrass him if i said it. How could i do anything to bother him if he owns everything?
>>16686177
Maybe you guys are right. He made me lie to his family about my age and i have old emails from when we used to talk when i was 15 and 16. He kind of has very odd sexual interests and im sure some of the things he asked could be breaking the law. Maybe, i don't know much about these things.
You can move in with me.
>>16686227
But i don't know who you are and you properly don't live near. Plus i would feel uncomfortable sleeping around a stranger. Thank you very much for offering though.
Are your parents chinese? If so, they probably can't handle a laughingstock coming back into their lives.
>>16686204
No common law in those states.
He cannot kick you out, because you are living there, you have tenant rights. He has to evict you.
https://www.renters-rights.com/illinois/
Dont worry about the sex thing, just make some internet hipster friends and have them come over and drink water/chat.
You really should take an entire day and research this issue, you sound really ignorant about the situation.
You could EVEN call the police, and make a statement about when you started having sex. Then when he gets back, his ass gets interrogated for hours and his name shamed.
That would really fuck his shit up. Hardcore. Gather all emails, photos, get it all together, go and get a storage rental and put all that shit there or go directly to police. If you plan to blackmail him, he will probably try to attack/destroy the evidence.
Or let him win. He doesnt deserve to have your love then just toss you away, that doesnt fly in reality
>>16686257
Also. Dont do anything. When he gets home, call the police and say he is attacking you. They will show up and arrest his ass on the accusation alone. Then you can talk to the detective about the whole story of being groomed, molested, kept an EMOTIONAL prisoner because you were in fear, and he was going to toss you away.
GOOD TIMES 50X
He's a sex predator and is throwing you away like garbage because you got too old.
>>16686249
I don't think i would be a laughingstock. Nobody knew me really. We didn't live in a city, my parents farm. Lol
>>16686257
I could take to the librarian in town. He always wants to talk to me and he is going to school for law so maybe i can ask for help from him and to have him for water and chat like you said. He works with his parents, they own a construction company and his parents are super religious so his reputation is really important, maybe the police is a good bet as well. One thing that kinda bothers me is that he made me go to church with him and his parents every Sunday even though i told him i am Buddhist...
>>16686282
It's hard to build a case when they were living together starting 18.
>>16686282
But i am only 21, still very young....
>>16686266
Emotional prisoner kind of makes me feel so bad... like i never knew what he was doing to me until i think about it a lot and it makes sense... would they be able to do anything since he only talked to me through email until i was 18 then sent for me to come here?
>>16686315
You dont sound like you want too much trouble. So do this.
1. Talk to library guy, ask him if you could chat with him because you consider him a friend. Getting it off your chest will help
(he will probably offer to let you use a room or something)
2. When your dude gets back, dont let him touch you, or talk to you. Tell him you are moving out in 30 days, when you are ready to do so. If he flips out, call the cops. Best/first thing to do is call the cops.
You are squatting somewhere and the owner comes back and tells you to leave? Call the cops. You wont get kicked out.
3. Dont TAKE ANYTHING, he wants to call you a thief, he has already worked out a dialogue about how you were stealing/unfaithful
4. DONT HAVE SEX OR LET HIM TOUCH YOU AGAIN, CALL THE POLICE IF HE TRIES. Set up your boundaries NOW
5. No place to go? No problem, dial 211 and talk to social services,they will get you a place to stay, food stamps, medical, all the thrills of being destitute.
6. Pat yourself on the back, you get to live your new life
>>16686387
1. That's what i was hoping, maybe he can help me, although i think he might be living with others already, he talked about roommates.
2.i will definitely call the police if he tries to touch me or anything like that.
3. Wow, i didn't even think of this. Its so underhanded... i won't take anything.
4. The last thing i want is for him to try anything on me, im starting to resent him for doing this to me.
5. Its that easy? Why does everyone say such bad things about America. I've never heard of a county helping you when you have nothing.
6. Than you very much for the advice.
>>16686478
First off, I know you think you love this guy but I wonder how much of your feelings are for HIM vs. the Situation. You (had) the life you want cooking and cleaning for your man... but I don't believe this was the only man or even the best man you could do these things and have that type of life with. There are other, better men out there who will fully appreciate a submissive asian housewife.
Second, I have to agree with the poster above that this guy was a sex predator of young women. he met you at 15 when he was 25. That right there tells me he wants underage women clinging to him.
Third, this is a bunch of bullshit right here:
> He tells me that he's fallen out of love with me and that I've taken his best years from him when he couldve been partying and hooking up with girls like the rest of his friends, he tells me that he feels that he deserves a more fun life and all i do is hold him back...
NAAAAAH. He brought you over from a foreign country to live with him. How could he possibly pretend that YOU "stole" his "fun life" from him? He's the one who brought you here for fuck's sake. So he's just trying to blame you for his own problems. It's not your fault. he's a tool.
>Why does everyone say such bad things about America.
The United States is really fucking awesome in some ways. In other ways, we really are the scum of the earth. We've murdered our way to the top of the global food chain and now we like to pretend that our shit doesn't stink.
I love the US. My family is US military. But the United States does really, really fucked up stuff to the rest of the world a lot.
>>16684623
>take whatever you want
Op, just start selling shit left n right. Let that be your security blanket. Fly the fuck home
Additionally, you can't be kicked out of the home in a week. You've resided there for 3 years or so (or am I misreading). You've established residency. This issue comes up on /adv/ regularly. By law, you have 30 days to leave AFTER he has served you with legal papers requesting you to leave. He cannot lock you out of the house, bar you from entering or leaving, cannot throw your shit out, change the locks , etc. You've met the legal burden to qualify as a resident of the home.
So, at the very least , you have 30 days from the point he legally has you served with papers to leave. Laws exist to protect tennants in condition's exactly like yours.
