Where do you find men you can trust?
How much?
>>16680306
Enough to pass out in your clothes and with your wallet at hand right next to them and expect to wake up that way.
>>16680304
Please stop making these threads. If you were interested in doing something about your situation you'd go out and do it, stop wasting people's time.
>>16680307
You don't find that kind of friends. You make them over a period of years.
>>16680304
That depends. What would be required of a man before you would be willing to trust him?
Can a guy please list qualities to look for in a trustworthy man.
>>16680313
>>16680323
-won't fuck me over
-won't expect some sort of a special reward for not going out of his way to fuck me over
-expects the same out of me and nothing beyond that
>>16680307
In my case, you'd probably yourself with your wallet/keys on the table next to you, and a blanket over you.
But the odds of you being my friend are probably low since you seem to have an inherently negative view of people (men in particular).
>>16680350
My views on men have been aquired by trial and error and consists of nothing but first hand experience.
If you trust a man with your socks, he's going to walk away with your socks.
>>16680304
If you're a hoitey toitey bitch who doesn't trust anyone don't expect anything, picky cunt.
>>16680355
I have the same problem and I've found the issue is inside of me. I keep getting involved with guys like that because I'm insecure and their fake intense interest in me puts me at ease initially. Regular guys don't rush things and stay reasonable. You should pinpoint your issue too.
>>16680363
My issue is that I'll consider "I'm scared he'll break my nose if I say no" a reason to fuck a guy.
Now where do I find one of these "nice guys"?
>>16680370
Move out of the ghetto lel.
Stop making these threads
>>16680355
Regardless, I don't tend to hang around people who have issues with trust. It's too much effort to always have to walk on eggshells or have to guard myself against them.
Much like you, I'd rather just be around people I can be myself around without worry.
By being an optimistic and friendly person, the odds of you attracting other optimistic and friendly people are much higher.
>>16680304
>Where do you find men you can trust?
try among those you have rejected.
>>16680378
You don't have to walk on eggshells as long as "being yourself" doesn't include fucking people who don't want to be fucked by you.
>>16680307
I can say that all of my close friends, as well as I myself, would pass that test without a second thought.
I mean, that's just common human decency, not trust. Trust is something else entirely, something far more valuable.
>>16680384
>common human decency
problem is it isn't common.
>>16680389
It is if you stop hanging around jails.
>>16680389
Honestly do you live in a Latino ghetto?
>>16680371
>>16680394
I live in the whitest chunk of Finland. Everyone who isn't white is a muslim, the don't go to places that serve alcohol.
You have to spend the time and figure it out for yourself on a case by case basis, by looking at what a guy is doing and seeing if it is trustworthy.
Not everyone is the same, not everyone wants to hurt you and not everyone is nice and there's not a nofail way to tell for every person. >>16680304
>>16680378
By the way, I say this as someone who's girlfriend is someone who raped as a child and has both physical and emotional scars for it.
She has her hangups but she's still someone who is still incredibly bright and optimistic.
When we first started dating she was cautious at first, but not much more than I'd expect when you're getting to know someone new. But she opened up and I trust and love her as much as she trust and loves me.
That light i saw inside of her is what attracted me to her, and the warmth I found there is what made her someone I wanted in my life.
>>16680382
And the fact that you made this thread and that you keep asserting that men aren't trust worthy tells me: Yes. I'd have to walk on eggshells because you'd somehow have less trust in you than even my girlfriend when we first met :/.
>>16680335
>-won't fuck me over
>-won't expect some sort of a special reward for not going out of his way to fuck me over
Your first two points, while certainly desirable, aren't really valid as criteria. The problem with them is that they require the ability to foretell the future. You lack this -you wouldn't be posting here if you had it- but we don't have it either. Nobody does.
There ARE ways to approximate these points in ways that don't require you to be psychic. For example, you could look for men who judge womanizers and Nice Guys harshly. But these are not perfect approximations, because they can't take into account the possibility of personal change, or the risk of hypocrisy.
Trust is an inherently risky thing. This risk cannot be completely eliminated, but short of being psychic, it is the best we have.
(Continues)
>>16680396
Then stop being a retard.
>>16680399
Then why did you stick around?
Did she put out or not?
>>16680405
What's that have anything to do with anything I said?
>>16680403
(Continued)
>-expects the same out of me and nothing beyond that
Am I correct, then, that you're looking for casual male friends, and not close male friends or romantic relationships? Expectations naturally arise in the latter two cases: it is difficult to tell if they are a side effect of intimacy or a catalyst for it, but they do go hand-in-hand. But if you're just looking for casual friendships with some men, that's another subject.
Assuming that casual male friends are what you're looking for, finding men you can trust (or at least filtering out the ones you can't) is not so difficult. There are, however, two major caveats. One is that effective filters require interaction: you can't just brush men off at a glance or with just a sentence or two. Rather than these passive methods, you must actively engage.
The other catch is that you need to be forthcoming and straightforward about your feelings and intentions, right from the beginning. Men are not telepaths: in aggregate they're no better at picking up on emotional cues than you are, and many are worse. You need to explain that you are not interested in a relationship with them, up front. And if their feelings are not compatible with this, you need to respect that: do not force friendship on someone who isn't feeling that, and do not judge him for feeling differently from you. Let him go: mourn the loss if you must, but don't blame him. Just as you cannot "turn on" romantic feelings, he can't just "turn off". Emotions do not work that way.
>>16680396
The majority of Finns I've come into contact people are the nicest people.
>>16680410
Why waste time in a damaged girl if there are more convenient options available? Was she the only woman in the building, or were all the rest of them worse?
>>16680412
Men and women can't be friends because men don't like women like women like men. It's the way people are wired. If she looks like she's capable of carrying a pregnancy to term, he'll want to stick his dick in it, and will eventually begin to resent her for not putting out.
The question is whether he snaps by walking out on you or raping you.
>>16680413
Men just don't like women as people.
>>16680416
>Men just don't like women as people.
Of course they do, stop being a lunatic
>>16680422
When was the last time you talked to a girl because she's a person, and not because you wanted something out of her?
>>16680423
Today
When was the last time you were sane?
>>16680416
>Men just don't like women as people.
Maybe you're just a really shitty person and people treat you like it as a result. And instead of thinking its a "you" problem, you think that everybody must get this treatment
>>16680426
What did you want out of her?
>>16680428
Then what do you have to do to be treated decently?
>>16680416
Eh, I see from the rest of your post you're just kind of bullshit...
I'll just say as my last post
It's not a matter of convenience. I'd dated dozens of women before I met her, some smarter, some were more physically attractive, but none of whom I shared anywhere near the level of real connection as I felt with her.
And bullshit. My best friend is a girl. People are people to me. Have I ever wanted to sleep with her? Sure, the thought has crossed my mind, but only while drunk and horny (and I know the exact thoughts crossed her mind about me too--we've talked about it). I acknowledge it for what it is, a passing fancy of curiosity, not an actual pressing urge or drive.
>>16680429
???
You just repeated your question, please try to at least be coherent if you have to shitpost here.
Answer mine please.
>>16680389
You hang out with the wrong people. It's not even the fault of those people, possibly, chances are you're just a really bad judge of character.
>>16680429
Not him but are you nuts? Yeah people want things form each other, each others company.
>>16680435
The opposite of what you did to turn your thread sour when it started with people actually trying to help you out.
>>16680435
Stop being crazy
>>16680437
Define "crazy". I haven't gotten fucked against my will ever since I quit trusting men's company.
Also, you didn't fucking answer me.
>>16680443
What do you mean by sour? I'm just being honest.
Do you have to lie to make people like you? Is that it? Pretend to like them when you don't? That kind of thing gets you fucked whether you want it or not. They call it "mixed messages".
>>16680447
I did answer in the post you quoted, you just repeated your question like a tard.
Stop posting here and go see your shrink.
>>16680447
You're not being honest. You're going out of your way to be hostile and unpleasant. Did you even want help or did you just want to rant and spread your toxic attitude?
>>16680447
You're really fucked in the head if you think constantly getting fucked against your will has nothing to do with you. Do some self-reflection instead of blaming all men.
>>16680450
How am I going out of my way to be hostile and unpleasant? I haven't attacked anyone.
>>16680458
You are attacking an entire gender.
>>16680458
You're repeatedly accusing one anon of just using his girlfriend and another of only talking to women when he's trying to get something out of them.
You're an awful person and if you don't reevaluate yourself you're going to have an extremely lonely and bitter future that nobody deserves.
>>16680465
Men can talk about women being whores and bitches and useless holes and sluts all they like and just assume the women who are hearing understand that present company is excluded, and if a girl still gets insulted by that, she is - personally - called dumb and childish and probably a feminist.
But it's unacceptable the other way around?
>>16680469
I'm not accusing anyone of using anyone, any more than people just use people in general. I feel bad for her for what happened to her, I genuinely do, but I just don't understand why someone would pick broken shoes when whole ones take less effort.
>>16680470
When has that even happened in this thread? You're going way off topic
>>16680470
People on /r9k/ are as and and deserve everything they get, as do you.
>>16680472
When someone says something happens, it's not always within one's line of sight. Sometimes, the Himalayas are a mountain range or there's a giant squid somewhere in the pacific ocean, and such things are not less true because neither of them is right there before your eyes.
If you've never witnessed this kind of thing before, you should consider going outside. Or even on 4chan. Go on /r9k/ into one of the woman-complaint thread, post as a girl and say "but I'm not like that" if you don't understand what I mean what I say.
Men talk like that, sometimes also when they forget there's women present. Most women just don't interrupt those conversations or try to defend their sex because they're smarter than me.
>>16680481
You are still rambling off topic. Try to keep your focus even if it's hard.
Attacking entire gender is consider rude and unpleasant.
>>16680481
Again, way off topic, and it's obvious you're just looking to complain. It sounds like you and someone else decided to butt heads and you're still bitter about the result. Probably a pride thing.
Please consider reserving this to a personal blog instead of starting troll threads on 4chan, where you fling accusations and attack people who genuinely tried to help.
>>16680486
I'm sorry, I thought you were making an accusation I had the right to defend myself against.
What was the topic again, in your opinion?
>>16680488
Then how do I stop being a vicious person?
Nothing happened, I haven't literally talked to anyone today. I'm just always like this and I don't know how to stop, because every time I try to be nice I get screwed over and taken advantage of.
>>16680490
>Make a thread dedicated to attacking an entire gender
>call it out
>Excuse me I thought I can defend myself
???
Attacking entire gender is considered rude and unpleasant, which is exactly what you are doing in this thread and the other threads you make every fucking day.
>>16680493
Stop making these threads and doing everything you do in these threads.
>>16680493
Let's start over
>How can I make better friends?
Where are you hanging around and meeting people? Be honest and be specific
>>16680494
That doesn't actually help, every time I leave a website I always end up somewhere else. It's a vicious cycle and getting banned from here won't stop it.
Trying to stop doing it is like holding my breath. I can only last so long before it happens again, no matter how hard I try not to.
>>16680493
Then why not review your own behavior and the things you might be doing wrong?
>>16680503
At least stop making us suffer with you and stop trolling
>>16680501
I go to bars, usually. It's rude to talk to strangers in non-alcohol settings.
>>16680504
I am filled with hate and I can either spew vicious shit or bottle it up until I do something stupid and destructive and I don't to start hitting pedestrians with a car because I wasn't allowed to scream.
>>16680509
You're not a fucking child. Stop acting helpless and making yourself out to be the victim. I'm >>16680363 and we obviously have a similar problem. For some reason you keep seeking out and getting involved with the same kind of men. Yeah that sucks and they're assholes but at some point you need to start taking responsibility for yourself.
>>16680516
Then how do I stop hating myself?
>>16680304
4chan.
It's honestly the only place where people have given me advice that was not only sincere, but incredibly well-thought-out and really helpful.
>>16680522
reading through this thread I don't think any of y'all would fuck me twice.
>>16680526
I typically get my advice from other boards, though I try to give good advice here.
>>16680509
There's your problem. Bars are fucking awful places to meet people because in a lot of cases, they're drinking alone for a reason. I'm sure your grating attitude also isn't helping.
Now this is where you hear the cliche shit that gets mentioned in every relationship thread (because it's true).
Talk to people while out and about, in places that interest you. Approach people. Make a comment in line or compliment somebody's taste in music or just ask what they're listening to.
As a woman, inherently guys will not be put off by you approaching them. You won't come off as creepy. At worst, just curious or quirky. Learn to spot red flags like people with old english tattoos and loose fit jeans.
Stop looking for meaningful relationships (romantic OR platonic) in bars.
>>16680520
First stop disrespecting yourself and getting involved with these guys. DO you have anything else in your life besides picking up scumbags from bars?
>>16680533
But it IS rude and creepy. They'll assume I'm trying to sell sex, scam them into joining a cult or distract them while my friends rob him. It's not normal to talk to people off the street. And trust me, I've tried. They usually tell you by an aggressive lack of eye-contact.
>>16680536
I'm looking for a job and trying to get back to school.
>>16680416
to be fair most women are really shitty people
Just like men
>>16680470
>Men can talk about women being whores and bitches and useless holes and sluts all they like
Why do you associate yourself with guys that does this? Are you into neanderthal rednecks and niggers or what?
>>16680560
Men are men. That's how men are.
>>16680568
>thread begins to fall back in to civility
>immediately shitpost again
Christ
>>16680575
This, you're beyond help.
>>16680575
I guess they're redneck neanderthals, then. I don't know what you want me to say.
>>16680568
I highly disagree. I have male friends running from never employed useless sacks of shit 30yo's to ambitious 25yo's owning multiple businesses and properties, and I've never heard any "bitches and hoes" talk. The only kind of people I've heard doing this are bikers, low class 2nd generation immigrant scum and our equivalent of jersey shore style guidos. These kinds of people are awful in every aspect, not just their view on women.
>>16680583
Then where do I find better men?
>>16680591
Not bars.
>>16680591
People have already told you in this thread you crazy bitch.
>>16680597
Talking to strangers on the street is fucking weird and I can assure you I have tried. They don't respond well.
>>16680602
Still a better success rate than meeting someone at a bar. Join a group hobby.
OP reminds me of one of my close friends
>know her for over 6 years
>constantly getting dicked over in relationships, caught hpv from cheating boyfriend
>am married 10 years, faithful
>"Why can't I meet more guys like you, but single ;-;"
>"Nigga because you keep picking up trash at punk/metal shows"
And she still does it.
>>16680615
So it's better to be thoroughly across the town as the weird girl who doesn't have manners who keeps talking to strangers?
People are going to start talking, wondering what I'm trying to sell.
>>16680622
Literally git gud at manners and social grace and yes, if you live in a shit part of town your goal should be to get OUT and associate with better people.
Grungy lifestyles are plenty fun as a teen but as you get older you're going to realize that life is a ladder and you should always be elevating yourself. It doesn't mean you have to abandon who you are as a person, either.
>>16680631
You don't seem to understand.
Talking to strangers IS BAD MANNERS.
>>16680636
Jut go on a dating website then.
You are supposed to be talking to people there.
>>16680639
I am on three. In the past two years I've found one guy who seemed nice. he didn't send a message back.
>>16680636
No it isn't. Maybe it's just a Texas thing but talking to people has never been considered rude so long so long as you're not expecting a woman in her 60s to bro-fist you, and I spend a lot of time mingling with upper crust types as well.
>>16680640
You factually have high standards then.
>>16680647
america is a rude country altogether.
>>16680647
Maybe it's just a finnish thing but if you're considered sane enough to not shit yourself in public, you're considered sane enough to not talk to strangers.
>>16680651
How do I lower them?
>>16680640
>on three. In the past two years
What the hell.
Not sure how to say this without coming off rude. So i am not even going to try to sugar coat it for you.
What you are looking for is not obtainable with what you have to offer.
You might be ugly or fat or what ever.
But you are maybe a 6 looing to get in a relationship with 9 and 10s this shit does not happen in anything other movies.
Try to get a date form a normal fucking guy with a normal fucking job.
Or die alone wile 40 fucking cats eating your dead body, your life you decide.
>>16680675
I don't think I'm after impossibly good guys. I don't even understand the appeal of the kind of face most women seem to find attractive. I just want a fat guy with a normal, pleasant face, good personality and no significant criminal record.
I'm normal-weight, person-shaped and don't have any massive handicaps or deformities, and I'm not criminally insane. I don't understand how to settle for less.
>>16680304
Dear diary,
Today I learned that the term "fake Nice Guy" doesn't exclusively apply to men.
