Would appreciate some advice, especially from any females lurking.
There's a girl who works in the same building as me for a different company. About twice or three times a day she enters the office I work in either to make coffee at our coffee machine with her female coworker or to print something off at the printer next to my desk. She asked me a question about a two months ago whether the building manager had turned up yet, and when I looked in her eyes (I realize it's cheesy and maybe pathetic) I was really overwhelmed both by her eyes and her general attractiveness. She smiled at me when I looked at her but I don't know if she just smiles at people that way. I am a pretty quiet person and the office is quiet, which means me talking to her will become obvious to everyone there (some 25 people) that I'm "chatting her up".
I fear making my attraction to her known because she is probably privately educated, attended a top university, and is from a wealthy or at least upper-middle class background.The thing is she seems pretty quiet (I'm not projecting some pure qt identity onto her) and I know she is very interested in the kind of music that isn't cool at all for most people our age, which is the same for me. Sometimes I tell myself it's worth doing something, other times I tell myself not to embarrass myself and possibly frighten or repulse her. I also fear that I've left it too long, as most girls perhaps like to think the man they want is so attracted to them that no amount of shyness, insecurity etc will prevent them from approaching them.
Sorry for the long post.
Any advice on what I should do?
I can give further information if anybody is willing to help.
I thought you should just try chatting her up a bit in a friendly way. Like go make coffee too or something.
Also to add, this may be me sperging out but she seems to be the only one who prints something off and stands at the printer for around 30 seconds to a minute pressing buttons and waiting for things to print. Most people just print it out and then quickly come to grab it when it's all out. I've thought about turning around (approximately 270 degrees) and smiling at her from my seat but I don't want to scare her away or seem creepy.
>>16677770
I don't drink coffee at work. Also the kitchen area is very small and is right next to my colleagues' desks, so anything I say will be audible to them. They all know how quiet I am so it'll be obvious to her and them that I'm "trying" something, and might seem like I'm trapping her in an awkward spot. I was thinking of waiting until she appears to make coffee and then going to get a glass of water and saying "good morning" or something to her. What I really want to do is to pass her along the stairwell or something and say "Would it be considered workplace harassment if I said I thought you were really beautiful?" but I think it's because I've watched too many John Hughes movies, and I fear she will feel creeped out or think I'm some soppy kid.
Don't dude. You spazzed out by not replying to her, so if she thinks of you at all, it's that you're weird.
Ordinarily I'd say you can overcome that, but not at your job man. Odds are heavily against you that she'll turn you down flat and tell her coworker friends, which will eventually circle back to people who work with you (which is humiliating and because it's your work you have to keep going).
That's the best case scenario. Worst case you really bungle it and she reports you for sexual harassment, you lose your job and good luck getting another.
>>16677785
Have you seen her interact with other guys? Does she act the same way? And yes you should jump on every casual occasion to talk to her without being all up in her face n shit. If you notice that she indeed seems interested in you find a way to talk to her away from prying and you yourself show some interest
>>16677793
>by not replying to her
But I did. She was smiling as I replied. Another time she was at the printer and the fan blew a piece of paper onto my desk and she apologized for not securing it, but not wanting to seem pathetic I maintained a neutral facial expression and said "oh, it's ok". Another time she asked me to help her find some paper for the printer. Would it be autistic if I said "hey, can I ask you something? Do you think I'm a stranger person?" I feel she will either find it endearing or be very weirded out and think I'm beta.
Also most of her coworkers, and most of mine, are like 10 years older than us. We're both the youngest in our small companies. But yeah I fear her telling her coworkers and them giving me looks etc.
Thank you for your reply.
>>16677800
Well that's the thing, I mean she seems pretty stern and busy (to me) when she's alone, but when she talks to people she is sweet and so on, I'm just a sucker for a cute smile I guess and delusional enough to interpret her looking at me that way as a sign of attraction. I know beyond a doubt that if I get into a situation where we are able to talk in private, either IRL or online (I don't have facebook or anything like that) I am likely to impress her or at least make her want to see me more. It worked with another girl in 2014 who enjoyed being around me a lot.
>>16677807
>do you think I'm a stanger person?
The results of that depends on how you say it and what you look like Anon. You gotta be realistic, if your ugly af or fat that doesnt help etc. plus your kind of timid and talking like that doesn't fit with the way you describe yourself
>>16677822
I don't want to evaulate my own looks, all I can say for myself is that in the past 5 years there have been several very attractive girls who have admitted (either to me or others) of having feelings for me, but I either didn't find them attractive (because of their personality, or because of my own apathy) or whatever. I'm not very tall, which makes me somewhat self-conscious, but this girl is shorter than most girls also. I just really fear that either her company is going to move out of the building soon (it's mostly used by companies of a certain size before they outgrow it) or that she will become bored by my apparent indifference and "move on". I really am attracted to her though, when she comes to print something off or I pass her on the stairwell by the bathrooms my heart pounds like it hasn't done in years.
>>16677868
Hey man, I'm a sperglord myself that gets chicks too, and to that I say: i know your pain
>>16677908
I don't know if I still can "get chicks", and I didn't really "get" any except for one in 2014 who not only made it clear she liked me but pretty much made the first moves and every one after that (including crawling into my bed and telling me to join her). She was "hot" but not "pretty" and her personality didn't match with my own.
The thing is I can easily imagine myself letting this "opportunity" go by and then hating myself for a few months before gradually losing what looks I have and slowly accepting a life without mutual loving affection. I think I can handle that (I have so far) but it would be a shame not to get to know this girl as some instinct is telling me very strongly that her and I would enjoy each other's company. I'm just afraid that instinct is autism.
