How do I stop myself from falling for girls/catching feelings so fast?
Im 21, never had a relationship. When I was younger I had massive anxiety and confidence issues, but I've worked my ass off to get myself to normality and feel good about myself
Now Im a fairly good looking guy, fairly charismatic. This has led to me getting off with a few girls, sleeping with a couple. Never anything long term. Always purely physical. Have just never met a girl where we both click with each other and have that romantic synergy which leads to dating and a long term thing
But now, I have. And I feel like a moron falling for her so hard and fast and Im worried that I'm gonna scare her off by being too sappy and coming on too strong
But I cant help it. Ive spent so long being single and alone (in terms of girlfriends, Ive got plenty of amazing friends) that whenever I meet someone nice who could actually be girlfriend material for me, I get way too into it.
I just wanna try it. Try not being single for a while. Every fucking relationship in my life is always fleeting and temporary. I just want to regularly see this girl and hang out. Regularly chill at each others places and watch movies. Regularly cuddle before we go to sleep in the same bed
Thats all I want. One try of not being on my fucking own all the time.
Just to see what its like
>>16665551
to stop catching feelings fast, you gotta burn a lot, to a point where you become insensitive to what once stimulated you a lot
at least for me, that was the only way
and it's often not the best thing to lose t b h. closing yourself off to pain and disappointment will only set you up for a life of loneliness.
>>16665551
You literally sound exactly the same as me at 19. I fucked up dating opportunities with about 6 or 7 girls before I finally got one that stuck. We're still together 7 years on. Don't stress about it and enjoy the ride, you will only improve your chances with age
>>16665560
I sorta already know this but dont want it to be true. First girl I ever liked shot me down and it hurt. Now I only go for girls I know like me back, but still man
I dont want all that flingy bullshit. So not interested. I just want a partner
>>16665562
I know. Just sucks. I just want someone to be close with. I got love to give and nobody to give it to
>>16665594
you're on the right track i guess. you wouldn't wanna spend time on a girl who has zero interest in you when you have high interest in her, right. it's just a shitty deal.
you gotta find someone else like you who has lots of love to give.
>>16665613
Ive met someone recently, but we're both on opposite ends of the spectrum. Shes just recently (couple months) come out of a long 2 year relationship, and said she wasnt interested in any sorta relationship until she met me and I convinced her
But she kinda got cold feet and said its too soon, she needs time and isnt ready for anything emotional. So shes playing it super cool
And then theres me on the other hand. Never been in a relationship, meeting this wonderful girl, and I just wanna dive right in
But I know I gotta play it slow and edge my way in if I want this to work. So Im (struggling painstakingly) to slow myself down and play it cool and see where things go
I know, in all likelihood, this girl wont be the "one". She'll be one that I get burnt on when it doesnt work out and it'll help me grow as a person
But desu, I'd really rather that not happen
>>16665594
Don't stop catching feelings, just make a hierarchy. Feel greater things for the people who deserve it and nothing for girls you're just "instinctively" attracted to.
To do that you should have moral standards, and perceive girl as actual persons you can judge and treat equally.
I don't know how you would get to that point ideally tho. Personally, I had quite a few affairs and fell in love a lot, and I just slowly got to this point. I guess actually falling in love, I mean in a way that is so violent you are forced to experience a difference between this one time and all the other - you genuinely thought were all there was to it - ... helps.
>>16665713
Hierarchy of feelings... Sounds a bit different but thats never stopped me before. Ill give it a go
>>16665551
how did you work yourself to normality? id like to do that too
>>16665713
nothing to add to this but I think this anon has a really good perspective on your situation, op
As my wise female friend said to me, harden your heart boy.
