Come in and ask, and an advice shall follow no matter what your problem is, whether it be relationships, an illness, existentialism, religion or anything else.
The less vague you are the more helpful the replies can be. Replies may take a while, some even hours, but you are guaranteed an advice back, full of wisdom™!
Everyone else is free to give their advice as well.
Why are you creating a thread that does exactly what the entire board already does?
>>16663228
It is a lot easier to have posts gathered in one place so I can focus and dedicate my time on it.
The entire board is a little overwhelming.
now that i'm sober life is really boring
i read a lot and watch a lot of movies and go to the gym as much as i can but even then i'm left with a lot of free time that i have no way to feel and i get bored
and being on 4chan isn't as fun anymore
what do sober people do all day?
>>16663198
Great to see you back, anon, I need your insights.
I'm having a really hard time lately. I've been dating a girl and we ended up having sex, clearly stating that we want to continue, etc... but one date later she seemed more distant. I chalked it up to work-related stress (which it probably was) or something, but I am slipping towards a very negative state of mind right now.
You see, I am good at making connections in matters I understand, but girls is not one of those matters. My brain keeps connecting dots, and I'm not sure if they're really there. In short, I'm starting to grow really paranoid and anxious, but still consciously so. I want to believe my brain is playing tricks on me, that nothing's wrong, etc... but somehow I keep noticing tiny details which "prove" my pessimist theories.
I don't know how I can talk to her about this. I want her to tell me whenever something's wrong, so that at least I will know (instead of having to resort to my own pessimistic reasoning), but we're not nearly at that stage in our 'relationship' yet.
This post is a trainwreck and I apologise.
>>16663352
Indulge in hobbies, chase after information and the truth, interract with each other, practice in their spirit and faith, do constructive things, there's a lot to do and surely there's something for you out there.
If putting aside 10 minutes to think about what you'd like to do isn't giving you anything, all you need to do is take a walk to get a bit of inspiration. Again, these don't have to be really specific things or robotic, cliche rituals that people do, it can be as simple as working at a charity even to help people, interracting with others to meet new friends, picking up a watercolor course to find peace in painting, going outside and petting animals, going out and walking into random streets and getting lost just to see new places, anything and everything you can imagine.
Alright this happened tonight:
Talking to this girl and ask her out for the second time
First time went well
Me and girl hang out
I eat dinner and drink with her family
She drives my car out to the marina where we shoot the shit for about an hour, I also make out with her
We drive back to her place where we lay on the bed watching friends
At this point she is throwing up barricades but we continue making out
I say that I'm staying the night at hers
She isn't too keen as she says she has work in the morning
Starts getting more serious throughout the night telling me to leave me such
I joke around saying that I'm staying( I really wanted to)
She says that she will tell her brother to tell me to leave
After awhile of that, I get up and leave
She told me she was on her period and that nothing would happen, but she was down to make out.
Any tips for next time? Where did I go wrong?
I've posted this a couple of times before, but haven't really received much advice:
About 2 months ago I asked out a girl that I like. She told me that she had just got out of a relationship, so I didn't pursue it further.
Now, I'm aware that this could have just been a "soft" rejection (although I'm fairly certain it's not an outright lie), but it would tear me up to not get a final answer.
My question is: Is it too soon to try again now? Would it come off as desperate/rude? And if I were to try again, how should I go about doing so?
>>16663356
When you are dealing issues related to other people, especially with loved ones, communication is always the answer.
There is no "stage" or "time frame" to it, our whole existance is based upon being able to communicate and understand each other. You don't need to know her for 5 years to ask her "hey, you feel a little distant lately, is there something wrong?". If you ask anything similar nicely from your heart and make sure she understands it's not coming from an aggressive point of view (which in most cases there is no reason to even see it that way), you'll begin a conversation where you can find a solution to your problems in.
Don't torture yourself with worst case scenarios, when you are able to communicate, do so, and at times when you are not able to communicate, put your thoughts on hold after giving it the minimal required understanding and wait until you can communicate.
>>16663368
that's not a 'soft' rejection, that's a normal rejection tbqh
>>16663365
Don't condition yourself to a state or make up your mind to be an immovable object to get what you want, open your eyes and be like water, as Bruce Lee would say.
Surely even before telling you straight up that she does not want you to stay the night for whatever reason, she must have given you clues, either through body language or through words and these you should have seen, but since you were so set on "staying the night" there you were blind to them. In fact you were so blind and driven with your desire that you refused to understand when she straight up telled you to leave. Don't let lust dictate your movements, use your head and act with understanding.
>>16663368
What you can do is straight up ask her to give a clear answer if she'd like to date you or not, if the obscurity is what's bothering you.
To get there, just spend more time with her. Take things slow, show her attention, try to get to know her better. If you are getting positive vibes and feel intimate with her, you can ask the question.
>>16663198
how do I restore healthy every day function in the wake of recent emotional disturbance?
I told a girl that I cared deeply about how I felt towards her. Long story short, it was bad timing and now I've got nothing to do but endure this shitty state of anhedonia which saps my motivation at a crucial time of study for my degree.
I find myself craving satisfaction through eating, fapping, catching 5 more minutes of sleep that span into 2 extra hours, and it's all getting in the way of work that I need to be doing. The one productive day I had ended with me feeling awful, seemingly because I hadn't done anything to fill the bottomless pit of dissatisfaction that I'm currently living with.
What works? What's the best way to work around this? I don't want to repress what I'm feeling, but indulging in it doesn't help either, it just hinders my studies. Help me.
>>16663198
I have had a gf for 6 years now. As of 2.5 years ago I wanted to break up with her but at the time we shared a lease on a house. I decided to wait it out until the lease ran its course to break up with her (I couldn't afford to pay for the entire rent myself). In that time she got pregnant and now we have a daughter. I'd still like nothing more than to dump my gf but I love my daughter and would do anything to be in her life. My gf isn't too bad but she's incredibly lazy and it pisses me off since I spend 48 hrs a week at work and she sits on her ass all day. Past attempts to fix our relationship have failed because she puts in no effort to fix the things I hate about her
I dunno if there's any advice I can get about this but it's good to vent
>>16663390
I'm sure you understand that most of these thing you do in order to divert your attenion are not constructive, but masturbation is simply destructive. It saps away your energy and your motivation greatly, no matter what you do cease masturbating as the first thing.
Secondly, deal with the issue directly, don't run away from it, don't let the fake feelings pull you into a dark a place, think upon them objectively and understand. What exactly is the problem, is that you've confessed your feelings and didn't receive them back, or she didn't respond the way you hoped? Was this not an option you've considered when you talked to her?
Partly because you've been vague, I could tell you about the cliche -but true- facts about how this is no big deal, as much as it may not seem like so right now, and that you could have future chances with her depending on your situation (you most likely do), and how even if it doesn't work out you can always find another you can care as deeply if not more so about, but mostly what you need to do is, sit down, put aside 10 minutes, and without torturing yourself with feelings of pity or sadness think upon the issue and understand where you stand.
>>16663407
Talk to her. I understand you most likely had many conversations with her before, but you need to gather your thoughts, make a list of things you want her to fix, think upon how to present them to her in a way that she understands you are coming from a place of good will and understanding, and spend all your expendable energy on this.
She needs to understand that this is a serious issue, that unless adressed it can lead to divorce and a less than ideal life for your daughter, and she needs to understand that this doesn't have to be a one way compromise, and that she can make a list and present you a list of things that she'd like of you as well. Simply by making her understand that you are willing to change for the better and consider her wishes, and this is all for the greater good that will also effect your lives for the better will go a long way.
Think about the problems you have with her, think upon how to present them in a nice way that she would understand, and think about the solutions you can offer for her, and then have a talk with her. Make sure she understands that you don't expect her to change overnight on all accounts, but it is important that she takes steps every single day, working on the issues. Encourage her, be there for her, as long as you keep your daughter's well being in mind I'm sure you'll both find yourselves in a better place.
>>16663419
Okay, I'll try holding off from fapping and see how that works out. As for objective thinking, I have confronted it. When I spoke to her about it, I got what answers I could, but it hurt her to talk about it too much because of the situation we're in.
To avoid vagueness:
>We've been living together for an academic year
>She had a boyfriend of 3 - 4 years when we first met
>She went abroad for a semester
>Visited our student house for her birthday during semester abroad and broke up with boyfriend before leaving
>I was a complete sucker for her within weeks of meeting her
>Started out small, but we liked spending time with each other and, before I knew it, I liked her more than I should have, considering the circumstances
>From about halfway through the first year together, I was hooked and couldn't help how I felt about her
>Absolute torture whenever stuff with her boyfriend came up, but no matter how bad it got, spending time with her was never not worth it
>She invited me out to see her towards the end of her semester abroad (while she was still in a relationship)
>I agree to it in a heartbeat and find myself doing all I can to make it happen without really knowing why
>Cue break-up
>Communication eases off between us, try to talk once a week, striking a balance to show concern but not badger her
>Still wants me to come and see her
I'm going to continue because I want to just vent this out. Hope you don't mind
>>16663456 cont.
>ffw to a week ago
>I visit her, we get drunk on the first night, I end up telling her how it is
>initial response is she's stunned, sat on her bed, hand over mouth, just staring at me with this slightly agonised look
>I keep going because I'm committed to telling her the full extent of how it's been
>she sobs whenever I say something particularly heartfelt
>not sure where this is going
>she tells me how she's still hurting from her breakup, due to how much she's hurt her ex
>feels responsible for it and doesn't want me to be hurt like that
>says she just wants to be alone for a while and that she doesn't want me to feel the way I do because I'm one of her closest friends
Now, I've been fed some bullshit in the past and normally I would be able to walk away from this without a second glance, but this is the most genuine girl I know. Being there, hearing her say what she said to me through choked tears and the way she clung me when I held her, all convinced me of her honesty in what she was saying.
>over next couple of days, we enjoy our time together, see the city, watch tv together, go for walks
>we were able to laugh about the intense conversations we had. I was able to leave on good terms
>I hadn't been able to cry much during my stay, on account that I felt I had to be strong enough to support her while she said what she needed to
>she walked me to the station to leave. I was able to keep it together even as I said goodbye
>as soon as I'm on board the coach and find my seat, I sit down and let go
>throughout the trip back, I cried on and off, embracing all of the heaviness I faced during that stay with her
>as I was about to board my flight, however, I was able to look at my reflection and smile to myself
>I could smile because I did what I set out to do and, while what I wanted to happen didn't happen, things could have been a lot more difficult
I don't regret anything I did. I'm not afraid to see her when she returns for the next semester
>>16663456
>>16663479
You've got nothing to worry about, just like you said.
At worst you'll stay as friends, at best you'll be lovers. Even if you part ways with each other it will likely be on good terms and have nothing to do with your confession. Don't dwell to much on it and wait till you can spend more time with her when she comes back.
>>16663479
One last thing. What bothers me is that I don't have complete closure. The people I've talked to about it all say that they don't think it's over and that I gave her a lot to think about between now and when she comes back.
As much as I'd like to hold on hoping, one of the things that she said to me was 'I think you should move on'. One of the most important questions that I asked her was 'Was [this whole personal ordeal] one-sided?' i.e. was I looking for something that was never there? She couldn't say that it wasn't. All she could say was: 'I had a boyfriend and I loved him'. As hurt as I was, I wasn't trying to spin what she was saying to what I wanted to hear. That being said, the way she answered was as though she left out 'No, it wasn't, but... I had a boyfriend and I loved him'.
My impression of it is that, if she did feel anything for me, and I know for a fact that she cares about me, she didn't allow herself to indulge it because she had a boyfriend that she loved.
As you can probably tell, this is why I'm trying not to dive into the details too much. It would take me a lot longer than 10 minutes to hash out the whole situation, as it's taken me the best part of an hour just to outline it to you here.
All I want is to be able to live my life without this heartbreak impeding it. I don't feel like I'll be able to get any resolution until she returns or if she decides to talk about it before then. So, my alternative is to just try and ride out the shitty mental state this situation has put me in. In short, I guess I was just looking for help on how to handle that.
>>16663505
Well, you can look at your options and go with one. You can call her right now and ask for a definite answer. You can wait till she comes back so you can do it face to face. Or you can just wait, which I wouldn't suggest.
Whichever option you go with, just understand that there's no real reason for you to be in a bad mental state or to dwell on this for a long period of time, or to torture yourself for things not working out the way you wanted them to. If you've managed to keep a good constant contact with her through the distance I'd suggest calling her and asking her what she truly thinks about you and if she'd consider being your girlfriend. Make sure that she understands that you won't be hurt and that you only want the truth, and be ready for the answer, whatever it may be.
>>16663527
Okay. I know that right now wouldn't be the best time for us to talk about it. We're both under a lot of stress with the exam period. When she comes back, I'll make an opportunity to talk to her about it. She seemed understanding of my need to talk about this stuff when I visited her. As long as I approach it properly, it shouldn't be a problem to talk about it again when we next see each other.
>>16663372
>Don't torture yourself with worst case scenarios, when you are able to communicate, do so, and at times when you are not able to communicate, put your thoughts on hold after giving it the minimal required understanding and wait until you can communicate.
The thing is I am afraid that my negative state of mind will reflect all too much in my communication. I know I shouldn't torture myself, but the matter of fact is that I still do. No news is bad news to me.
How can I be zen, still clearly state my intentions to take things further with her, and not scare her away, all at the same time?
My gf and I are going through a bad time, we've decided to get apart for some time with rules like not getting laid wiht anyone else and that stuff. But I really feel like this time it's all going to end, after a bit more than 3 years together.
I've got skype open and I'm dying to talk to her (we agreed to talk to each other if we were really really desperate), should I, anons? I know that I shouldn't but I guess if I listen to it from someone else it's gonna convince me.
>>16663678
Why do you assume you'll scare her away with communicating with her? Even if it so happens that things don't work out between the two of you, it won't be because you tried to communicate with her, by nature this can never be the reason. Eliminate this destructive thought from your mind, for simply it's not true.
Since the options we are weighing here are either A: talking to her about it, or B: not talking to her about it and "let things be". I understand that there may be times where one requires space from one another, but this isn't one of those times. Simply talking to her is the right thing to do, and do it in peace of mind knowing this. Nothing wrong with saying "hey, I really like you and take things further but lately it seems like you are not as interested, is there anything I can do about it? If there are things you don't like about me or simply if you are not interested please don't be afraid to say so, I'd rather like the truth rather than drag this out or continue doing things you don't like." or any other equivalent you can word better as you desire.
Steps:
1. Don't make a big deal about it
2. Talk to her
I can guarantee you that you'll have a lot off your shoulder, and you'll most likely find out that there is nothing to worry about or things you can fix by communicating, or at the very least find out she's not interested so that you'll both stop wasting each other's time sooner, plus you'll stop needlessly torturing yourself.
>>16663198
I'm pretty new on /adv, this is my first time seeing this and I think its pretty cool plus I think I'll frequent this play more often then just going on /ck
So my problem is with a girl as per most posts with girls here she used to be this shy introverted bookworm and is now this smart confident beauty that encompasses the model student.
We have always had this flirty bantery tone when we talk to each other and about a mouth ago she went on her first "date" with me, it was more of a labeled as a hang out to remove some awkwardness and we when to the city center where a large Christmas event was set up and there was a photo booth too so naturally we got our pictures taken and we both took a copy(though she is still holding on to mine) then walked through the city till we got to the park by the sea harbor and admired the city lights and the ships at sea before then going outside the carnival (couldn't go inside because no tickets + expensive) so we bought nutella + whip cream waffles and talked, laughed and ate under city lights after we did a final run of the park, we hugged and I put her in a taxi. It was amazing.
For the next few weeks she was a prime part of my daily though and I'd really like to date her properly not just a hook up or a one off.
Sorry about the brick ^^^
>>16663688
No, why do you think you shouldn't talk to her?
Firstly, if you haven't done so already, do whatever you can do on your part to make sure you don't go through those bad times, and make sure your love dictates your actions, nothing else.
Secondly, just like you've typed here, tell her how you feel. Tell her your concerns, tell her how you were dying to talk to her, tell her you don't want to lose her and apologize for your part that led to the bad times you've had. In short, go talk to her.
How to get over a girl? I've been doing the whole explore your hobbies, spend time with friends and family, and talk to other girls.
>>16663733
When you are adressing boards related to 4chan, write them as such: "/adv/" not "/adv", pretty insignificant but older users of this website may view you differently off of this tiny thing.
Sounds like you had a good time and she enjoyed it as well, what's the hesitation? Tell her that you like her and would like to spend more time with her and would like to go on dates with her often. Frankness is the way to go.
>>16663749
You are on the right track, though physical exercise is a big part of it, get a gym subscription if you can, or look into self-exercises on /fit/ if you can't.
The rest is, well, giving it time until you realize it is not the end, and that there are many others you will care for just as much if not more, and that there are even things more important than this relationship business.
>>16663756
thanks for the advice
your right there, after that date I cant rmb how long I waited 2 days before asking her again but when I did she said she was busy and then the 2nd time I invited her to my parents open house since our parents know each other she declined since she had her families own thing. We see each other in school some times and I'm friends with her best friend as we sit next to each other in most classes. Now I just don't feel confident or certain enough to ask her out or specifically how I would.
>>16663786
Once again, be frank. You can go up to her and say "hey, I know you declined the past few offers of meeting up but I really like you and would like to go on dates with you, if you are not interested please let me know so I don't suffer in uncertainty and further bother you about it". Surely you can word this better as you wish, but as long as you are frank and genuine you'll move things forward.
>>16663198
Hey OP, good to have you.
I'm an 32 yo male artist and for the last couple of years I've changed from wanting long-term, monogamous relationships to seeking out multiple sex partners. I've been sleeping with my ex for the last 2 1/2 years, but only for the last three months have I been able to seduce women without settling for serial-monogamy (in other words, I've been sleeping with three girls and alternating between them.)
Although my ex is the one I'd prioritise before all others, my chances of continuing to sleep with the same person regularly over time boils down to just one women I recently started seeing, as my ex is moving to another country for a year, and the third woman in question already lives in another city.
My problem is I don't get as physically excited by the woman I plan to continue with. She has a great personality and a gorgeous Amazonian built body. I love eating her out and I'd like to paint nudes of her. She suits my lifestyle really well, but I still haven't had successful intercourse with her. I believe the reason is that it was too easy, since she's been noticeably attracted to me for months, with no effort on my part.
This is a quote from 'The Art of Seduction' by Robert Green, that I somewhat relate to:
>When Picasso was seducing Françoise Gilot, in fact, he begged her to resist; he needed resistance to add to the thrill. In any case, an obstacle in your way gives you the opportunity to prove yourself, and the creativity you bring to matters of love.
What could I do to make her into more of a challenge, so that the reward of sex feels more fulfilling? Do I straight out tell her?
>>16663807
I cant think of a situation where it is just me and her at school so I would have to ask her out via text or some other form of media and then the problem its just a cycle as I would only be able to do that face to face
>>16663730
I shouldn't do this through text, though, right?
Also;
>Why do you assume you'll scare her away with communicating with her?
Because I fear I am paranoid. I can't trust my own instincts. She seems more distant, she might not even be. I don't want to text her "hey why are you distant?" (more subtly worded, obviously) when chances are she hadn't even thought of it that way. It'll come off as possessive, clingy, needy, whatever.
I can trust my own judgment in almost all matters, but not here. If I can't trust my own judgment, should I act on it regardless?
It really sucks having thoughts and not knowing whether they're rational or not. I'm lucky that I realize how paranoid I can be, though. Usually I can contain myself, but I'm having a really hard time here.
>>16663829
I'll tell you something different from what you are asking, and it may be not what you wish to hear but it is my best advice to you nonetheless:
Act with your love, not with your lust. If you truly find her attractive both physically and personality wise, and that you feel compatible with each other as she feels the same toward you, make love to her, not as just one of the girls you are having sex with no attachment, but as someone whom you (can) love with all her body and personality, knowing she loves you back. Seek pleasure from pleasing her, have her excitement be yours, kiss her whole body, be affectionate, want her with your whole body and mind.
But this you can't really do if you are not attached to a person with your love. You are chasing after lust, even if you find the most attractive woman and win her over by using endless charms and going through infinite obstacles, if you don't genuinely love her the feeling you are seeking for will be short-lived, and you'll want to move on to others as you are trying to fill this hole with that feeling of "winning a woman over". No act of intercourse will truly satisfy you, for it is a mental act as much as it is physical.
Long term monogamous relationships are the healthy kind where your love can bloom and overshadow your lust and truly fill the hole you are seeking to temporarily cover. If you truly like the woman you've mentioned, consider a long term relationship and be honest with your feelings.
>>16663844
You can ask 5 minutes of her time and pull her aside, I'm sure she'll comply.
>>16663857
The feelings you are feeling is normal, do not call yourself paranoid. This is not a passing remark, this is important. Whenever you find yourself thinking about being paranoid or even half-believingly saying it, stop, wash it away from your mind and tell yourself: I'm not paranoid.
And yes, you should do it face to face if possible. Whenever you have a doubt and there's a really simple way to clear it away, such as communicating, do it.
Once again, you are not paranoid and this is all pretty normal, try not to make a big deal about it and talk to her.
>>16663198
How do I get girls to like me as more than just a friend?
Girls seem to like me and sometimes I get random hugs and stuff but it seems (maybe I'm wrong though) that they just view me as 'one of the girls' and asexual. Like the straight equivalent of a gay best friend.
I have a bit more feminine personality than most guys and unlike most guys I'm not afraid to show it which I think has made me well liked (especially among girls) but never as more than a friend. I wouldn't say I'm flamboyant but I'm certainly far from stoic.
I don't want to pretend to be 'manly' just to impress people and give up my true personality
But it also seems that that's all girls want
What can I do?
Any advice for someone with psychosis NOS (similar to schizophrenia) dealing with another breakdown and afraid of going to the hospital?
>>16663930
You are doing the right thing by being yourself, you don't need to change your personality for this. What you need to do is to be clear with your feelings and intentions and show them.
If you are acting like you are just a friend who wants nothing more to a girl you like, they'll pick up on this. People, especially women are really good at subconsiously picking up behaviour patterns and putting people in categories, so if you go out of your way to avoid any sexual tension or to be seen as an asexual friend, you will be categorized as so. If you like a girl, just as you meet her, flirt with her subtly, show her attention, try to get to know more about her, see how she reacts in return. These are all very natural and may seem like stuff you "don't know about", but once you give in to your feelings it will all come natural to you.
Besides this, work on yourself. Physical exercise is a must.
>>16663905
I love my ex, though. Monogamy won't ever be truthful, since my love and desire for my ex won't ever go away. We have connected on a deeper level, but until she settles down (backpacker type,) I will seek out other women. My ex is polyamorous too, btw, and knows that I sleep with other women. Neither of us ask for exclusivity, and we don't want to stop seeing each other when we can.
I won't believe that one night stands is better than long-term polyamorous relationships, because I agree with you on lovemaking. Maybe I should just ease more into it. Already told her that I often got trouble starting up, and that I need to get to know her better.
However, I spent all my twenties in monogamous long-term relationships, and they both ended because I wasn't ready to commit, largely to do with not wishing myself onto women who crave stability, as I'm poor af and don't even live in a flat. I sleep in my studio and got shitloads of dept. Until that changes, my best chances of relationships are with women who don't need to see me every day and I won't have to promise anything to.
From your advice I take it that I should become celibate, which does gel well with my sex drive.
Is it strange for an guy at 26 ask his parents can he renew his passport? I live with them and they need it on occasions ,but i need to renew it to get paypal working.i think i can handle it on my own.
>>16663941
How does it affect you?
Do you see hallucinations? Lose sense of reality?
Does it change your behaviour and the way you think? How does it make you feel?
Is there something that triggers it, or amplifies the disorder?
Have you used any drugs?
Are you taking any "medication" for this?
What are your other fears besides going through a breakdown?
Why do you think this is happening?
>>16663960
*doesn't gel
>>16663958
Thanks for the help
>be clear with your feelings and intentions and show them
What do you mean by this? As in by asking them out? I have but I think I am seen as a friend already.
>show her attention, try to get to know more about her, see how she reacts in return
How is this different than getting to know someone as a friend?
>>16663920
But I am, sometimes. As a stupid example, if my friends go out and don't return within the time they said they would, I sometimes suspect they're doing it on purpose to annoy me.
It's bullshit, obviously, and I usually recognize that and discard those thoughts fairly quickly, but I can't deny having them.
And sometimes, like now, I can't tell which thoughts are rational and which aren't. I don't know how else I can explain this, but I just can't trust my own mind sometimes.
Thank you for listening to me and providing me with your insight. It takes a good deal of that burden away, since I think I can trust your judgment, even if I can't trust mine.
>>16663960
Then until you come to a conclusion as to how you wish to proceed with her your ex and your feelings towards her, all there is to do is to work on yourself and pay off your debt. You can seek to fill the hole with others, but the way you do it is unlikely. I'd suggest you first stabilize yourself and move from there.
>>16663976
Symptoms:
Derealization
Depersonalization
Auditory Hallucinations
Visual Hallucinations
Catatonia
Lack of focus
I don't know why it's happening. Stress triggers it but I'm not under stress right now.
Having a breakdown and having to go to the hospital are pretty much my only fears right now.
>>16663974
You mean to ask if it's strange to ask for them to renew it for you? No, not really, but if you can do it yourself that would be preferrable.
>>16663976
Also I'm on abilify, an anti-psychotic, and zoloft, an antidepressant
>>16663982
Be clear that you are attracted to them, like a man is towards a woman. Flirt with them. Same with the attention part, all in context with flirting, I'm sure you know how it's different than acting as a simple friend and avoiding any type of action where you may seem attracted.
So, i've been getting depressed lately, or bi-polar i'm not really sure. Problem is i hide it from all my family and friends and i guess in a way i want them to say something, but even if they do, i just deflect it.
I'm too proud to admit i have a problem, or worse, i'm letting it consume me because of my self loathing.
I've started self harming, which i've never done before. Not knives and shit, slightly more brutal, i punch and whip myself with a leather belt, my arms are covered with bruises but thankfully i can wear long sleeves all the time in this weather.
And you know, the good old constant internal monolog of "you suck you're worthless, you're stupid, failure failure failure, piece of shit faggot" reminding me who and what i am all the time. It's kind eating away at me.
Worst part is, every positive thing, every time i try to turn things around it feels so... shallow, undeserved, worthless. So even if i get praise or good things happen, i deflect or disregard it until the next bad thing happens to justify my mindset.
I was considering making a new thread, but... didn't feel worth it.
>>16663991
Take it easy on yourself, those thoughts are normal, good luck.
>>16664012
>>16664004
Abilify and Zoloft, if they are not THE reason you are in this condition right now they are a humongous part of it, no doubt.
I'm sure you already "know" the side effects of these, but knowing and understanding/realizing what they do are different things. How long have you been using them for?
Regardless, you need to drop these. These are not only toxic that they create every single one of the disorders you've listed as symptoms, but they also worsen your condition and harm your immune system, and make your body crave for it. And believe me when I say this is no coincidence that these life wrecking side effects exist within these drugs. Your first course of action is to stop taking these immediately, you can watch a documentry on the internet called "making a killing" about the multi-billion dollar pharma industry if you'd like more information.
Then you'll need to detox yourself. I want you to fast for a single day, for example stop eating at 9PM on a Saturday, go on Sunday without eating anything, and start your Monday with a very light breakfast, or just a fruit-juice if possible. Do this once a week. Make sure you are not eating any garbage food, like those from fastfood chains or supermarket pre-made stuff, have your meals be off fruit and raw vegetables as much as possible. Physically exercise every other day, every day if you can.
Lastly I want you to pray. I realize that most people these days have unfortunately been tricked to cut their ties with God, and that you may think I'm a nutjob for this, but do it nonetheless. Pray from your heart to God so that he may ease your pain and so that you may have an easier time on your way to ridding yourself of your condition. I guarantee you that you will see results and eventually be rid of it if you do these, please consider.
>>16664095
Dude what the fuck why would you even say these things, these drugs saved my life and give me no side affects besides not being able to drink.
Fuck off asshole
>>16664024
You realize that you are torturing yourself but you don't want to break out of it because it pleases a demon inside of you. Don't feed it.
You know in your heart you are not worthless, you are no failure, you are not stupid. Whenever these thoughts come into your mind, cast them out, not because I'm telling you to but simply because they are not true. Don't seek company with your feeling of self-pity to justify yourself, every single time that feel like you are starting to fall into the same trap and wanting to hurt yourself, stop whatever you are doing and rip them out of your mind and stop harming yourself.
I'm sure you have things you look forward to, I'm sure you have things you wish to do, focus on these. Spend time with your friends and loved ones, exchange your love with each other and put your mind on constructive things.
>>16664109
I am sorry that you feel that way, but as you cannot find a solution to your problem and as your condition worsens, please remember and consider these.
i think my bf may be autistic. i've been noticing it more and more, but i'm not sure how to approach it. he does have a lot of tell tale signs, but a lot is his general personality
>dislike of being touched
he has to prepare himself sometimes when i want to hug or touch him and i cannot touch his wrists at all for any reason, he recoils and freaks out
>bad at reading emotions/empathy
he's told me a lot that he has a hard time understanding even his emotional feelings, it makes it so i have to spell everything out for him when i get upset or something
>hard time understanding/communicating/listening
it got to the point where i had to be very patient with him and speak to him in a different way to get anything across. he's told me he has trouble caring about the conversations sometimes even though he should and has been scolded for that all his life. he also takes me very literally alot of the time.
>overly smart
bitch can do advanced math in his head while i can barely calculate tip! he also knows atleast 5 other languages and retained them even though he doesn't speak any at all daily.
>very specific schedule/routines
he legit cannot do anything else once he's decided on something. only in emergency situations but it's very uncomfortable for him
>some signs of ADHD
he has some bad inattentiveness and trouble focusing on things he doesn't care about.
i'm sure there are other things, but i can't think of them atm, he only has a few very specific hobbies, he did get diagnosed with ADHD but the pills didn't help at all, and he doesn't take them.
as i said i'm unsure what to do or how to bring it up.
>>16664137
Yeah, I'm not going to do that
>>16664143
Simply ask him for his time and just like you've listed them here, dicuss these with him, and see what he thinks. See if he thinks these are a problem or if he wishes to fix some of the negative ones, communication is always the answer.
If he sees some of these as a problem and seeks a solution offer him these, I've typed a bit about these above but truly, these are remedies for condition where there is no remedy: Have his diet be of fruit, fruit-juice and raw vegetable heavy. No meat, no junkfood, no premade supermarket stuff. Have him regularly do physical exercise, if he's not doing so already. Lastly and more importantly: fasting. Have him fast for a single day, for example have him stop eating at 9PM on a Saturday, go on Sunday without eating anything, and then start the Monday with a very light breakfast, or just a fruit-juice if possible.
Fasting can cure and regulate many if not all mental conditions as it gives your immune system the space and the energy to do its job, and reach its hands to the cellular level. After 4-5 weeks of 1-day a week fasting he can move on to 3-day fasting once a month, if he feels his body has adjusted to the fasting. I can guarantee you that you'll both see some improvements within a few weeks if you follow these steps.
>>16664147
>>16664109
Attachement to those life destroying drugs and being aggressive to those that offer you a solution is not healthy, and don't just take my word for it, there are documentries and articles and stories of people who have had their lives destroyed by these drugs and as well as statistics showing of people who have used such drugs for a long term have absurdly more increased rate of suicide than those in the same condition but don't use them.
If your concious mind is still with you, please do your own research and consider accordingly so.
>>16664204
Seriously man, get help. Nothing you are saying is true. I'm not even bothering to reply after this because you're obviously delusional and arguing with delusional people is pointless.
I was hoping to get some actual fucking help from this thread but that's obviously not going to happen.
>>16664198
the fuck is this homeopathic nonsense?
>>16664220
Making A Killing: The Untold Story Of Psychotropic Drugging (Documentary)
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHlLRge45sg
http://www.drugwatch.com/ssri/suicide/
Abilify serious side effects related to suicide:
>Risk of suicidal thoughts or actions:Antidepressant medicines, depression and other serious mental illnesses, and suicidal thoughts or actions:
>Antidepressant medicines may increase suicidal thoughts or actions in some children, teenagers, and young adults within the first few months of treatment.
>Depression and other serious mental illnesses are the most important causes of suicidal thoughts and actions.Some people may have a particularly high risk of having suicidal thoughts or actions. These include people who have (or have a family history of) bipolar illness (also called manic-depressive illness) or suicidal thoughts or actions.
Zoloft serious side effects related to suicide:
>Zoloft Increases Risk of Suicidal Thoughts
>http://www.yourlawyer.com/topics/overview/zoloft
>http://www.mcmanweb.com/FDA_suicide.htm
>http://zoloftclaims.org/teen-suicide-related-to-zoloft/
I don't know why you bother to call me a liar when I'm asking you to do research and the truth is a simple google search away.
>>16664241
Just my advice, you need not take it.
Can I sell this figurine or not?
>back at 16 year birthday
>one of father's old friends gives me a figurine
>father and hos friends have a huge boner for this type of figurine
>gee thanks, not like i wanted an xbox or anything
>back to today, old friend is ded
>that fucking figurine is still standing here
>need money for a new graphics card
>that figurine is going
>ask father if he wants to buy it for cheap
>UR NOT SELLING THAT FIGURINE
>WE HAZ HISTORY N STUFF
I would just sell it on ebay but I'm still living at home and don't want to make a stupid move.
>>16664246
Get a life man, your advice will kill people. Period. Just because someone made a documentary about it doesn't make it true. These drugs save people's lives and keep them out of the hospital. It's true there is an increase in suicide risk on ssris but that is believed to be because they get severely depressed people that literally can't even move or do anything undepressed enough to be able to kill themselves. Furthermore, they don't have that effect on everyone. I was suicidal, and way worse off, BEFORE I was on meds.
how do I get my first job with no real experience and I dislike talking to people? makes me feel incapable of living in the adult world at this point. also I'm a girl if it makes a difference.
>>16664269
There are also these shills, these trillion dollar big pharma companies distribute by the thousands to every social media platform to deceive people and push their NWO agenda, suggesting that it is not the these "medicines" that kill, and they will dismiss every evidence and mountains of testimonies. One must be careful.
>>16664268
Unless it's of some pagan/satanic figurine that disturbs you, don't sell it would be my advice.
>>16664283
Just shut the fuck up man, seriously. These drugs saved my life and millions of other lives as well from either dying by their own hand or dying in a mental hospital. There's nothing you can do to change my mind because I owe my life to these medications and they give me none of these horrible side-effects you're ranting on about.
>>16664298
It's peculiar that you curse and make aggressive posts in the face of truth and evidence. Also, who are these "millions of people" that these drugs saved the lives of? What did they save their lives of from, when what they are supposed to cure is depression and sucidial thoughts, when they cause more of the same?
I understand that I won't change your mind, you are clearly not here to change your mind, nor to get an advice. I hope you find dignity and goodness in your heart one day. You can stop posting.
>>16663198
I hooked up with this guy a few times.
It only happened because both of us were drunk at every party.
I started to like him, I bought him a birthday present that he really seemed to like.
Whenever both of us are together, we have fun, great talks and great sex.
The guy himself is really attractive, great humor and personality, but what really bugs me, that he had sex with a lot of woman on hookups and didn't had a connection with them since.
He is still writes me, sometimes.
Once he actually said, that he cares for me, but he was 'horny', so I don't really take it heart-warming.
One of my girl-friends started hooking up with my crushes friend and his friend told my girl-friend, that my crush wants to be with me, but he needs time.
I have this fuzzy feeling that I might burn.
Get hurt.
I'm really stuck on this situation /adv/, give me some advices that could help.
>>16664280
Let's adress the problem, why do you dislike talking to people?
Getting a job is easy, you talk to your employer/get into an interview and show willingness. This is what they look for above all else, show them that you want to work there and that you are interested. Show them you are willing to do a good job and learn as neccesary. But communicating with others is a must, in whatever it is you are doing.
>>16664317
Talk to the guy.
Tell him that you like him, and tell him your concerns and that you wish not to get burned and you want a faitful long term relationship.
Communicating with directness and frankness is the most fruitful and easiest solution.
>>16664331
I did.
I didn't want to seem that 'available' for him.
But I said, that I care for him and I feel something.
He just smiled and kissed my forehead and said in a serious voice:
"Don't be that way, you perfectly know that I like you and you like me'
But still, somehow I'm afraid of having something with him.
>>16664323
I suppose it's more of me psyching myself out that I'm incapable or something, that I might spaghetti all over the floor. I know I can talk to people just fine, but I overthink a lot.
>>16664352
Those worries are perfectly well placed, I understand where they are coming from, and for this exact reason you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, with no concerns of seeming "available" or anything else.
Don't let him give you a vague answer, don't let him dodge the question, talk about it.
>>16664356
Communicating with others is in human nature, and the more you do it the more you are reminded of it and the "awkwardness" goes away before you realize it; thus an exercise for you: Go talk to elderly people at a park. Elderly people -and people in general- love being talked to and have questions asked to them. Go make a small chat with a few of them, ask them about their life, talk about the weather, show them interest, answer their questions, offer help. Do this for a few days and you'll find your anxieties lot less prominent.
>>16664365
As much as we talked about it, he would mostly say something that I'm silly and I worry way too much.
We don't really meet anywhere else, only at parties. Maybe it's because it's freezing cold outside.
So we don't really see each other much.
Yesterday, as I was at one party, I asked his best-friend about him, cause I understood his best-friend wanted us to hookup.
He and his girlfriend told me that my crush is a really loyal guy.
But one of my girl-friends (that I mentioned earlier) said she heard a lot stuff about his sexual life and we took it as a big red flag.
>>16664388
Second hand information is unreliable both ways, your options are to have further conversations about this with him thoroughly, or go with your instincts.
Hey guys,
I tried to teach a First aid/ CLS (combat life saver) class today. I advertised on facebook and in person. I only got one RSVP and they texted me two hours after we were due to start saying that they won't be free until noon.
I organized this a week in advance, sent everyone a reminder, and kept good contact with everyone.
How do I do this and not have people flake? Is there some secret to organizing things and having people show up?
>>16664451
Sounds like you've done pretty much everything right.
Was it a free-entrance class? To what audience and at which platform did you host this class?
The only thing that comes to my mind is bad timing and perhaps wrong target audience.
![[W]HRkmXfv.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZJ2Bo5c.jpg "[W]HRkmXfv.jpg")
Gone for a few hours.
>>16664280
What I have found is that your "hobbies" or "other skills" section on your resume is what gets you an interview.
>be me
>work in cabinetry, construction, and Luthiery (making guitars) from ages 14-19
>also be in Civil Air Patrol, taught myself blacksmithing and general metal working, graduated HS with a scholarship for woodworking and one in History.
>get laid off from luthier job out of the blue
>walk into first department store I see on drive home
>wearing boots, flannel, dirty jeans, haven't shaved in a week
>tell them that I just got laid off, need a job, that I can show up on time, am receptive to training, and will work harder than anyone in the store
>they 'lolk' me and tell me to come back with a resume
>go home, shave, shower, comb hair, get in best clothes and go in with resume
>they take resume and say they'll call me back
>next day, get a call, get hired in warehouse/back room
> two months later get promoted to Cashier because I stayed late, worked my ass off, and applied myself
>talking to supervisor who hired me after work
>says that they thought I was high when I came in, but my resume was interesting enough that they figured they'd call me back to see if I was serious about the stuff i've done.
It is all about how you present yourself. What helps me is to play it off as a joke in your head. Tell yourself that it doesn't matter a single bit and the person you're talking to doesn't matter. Try to be the person they want.
>>16664471
Yes, it was free entrance. The audience I was targeting was friends of mine who are into training (be it lifting, firearms, marathons, sports, etc) and military stuff.
The platform seems like the only problem. I can't do it at my house (one of my room mates is a faggot and passive aggressively flips shit when I have people over) and I'd have to rent a venue. So I decided to host it in a park with benches and overhead covering.
Why do you think you can give a good advice? Please tell me your age.
>>16664699
I'm giving advice because I enjoy it, I mean good will and I think I can help some people. I don't think you have to be at a certain age to give advice or learn from others.
You are free to ask and not take the advice if you don't like it.
Over the past few months I've spent a lot of break hours hanging with this girl, and only recently thought of asking her for her number. We exchanged a few texts after, but not much because she was busy.
Unless I grow very desperate somehow, I don't really have a romantic interest in this girl, but I would like to make some friends out there. Thing is, after those initial texts I don't have an idea anymore what to send her or talk to her about. It's been a few days since those last texts, and she's not sending anything either.
What should I do?
>>16664805
If your intention is to be just friends, and you are looking for someone to talk to, just talk to her about whatever you'd like to talk about.
Or if it's your wish to do something together you can ask that aswell.
>>16663198
Two questions, firstly, how do I know if a girl is interested in me? I've been talking to her online for a week or so, we've been in the same class for a term but no communication whatsoever, she has talked about her ex once but not sure if this is at all relevant.
My second question, how do I flirt with women? I'm not great with people and I don't really know how to flirt without sounding vulgar or creepy other than maybe possibly innuendo, but other than that I have no idea what is and isn't appropriate.
>sophomore biochem major
>want to apply for in-state med school after graduation
>almost zero volunteer hours, no research positions
>bomb-ass professor makes a presentation at the school chem club, seems enthusiastic about taking on undergrads
>sent him an email
>no response
Sheeeit. I have a 3.7 right now, any advice on brown-nosing and generally not being a fuckup? I'm going to be taking a shitload of labs this semester- between that and trying to exercise I don't have a lot of time.
>>16664910
I can't give you a one single thing to look for, but if she's willing to talk to you and appears interested in what you have to say that's a sign of interest.
Flirting is just showing interest in her, complementing her on little things you like about her, trying to get to know her better and letting her know that you like her, you can just say it outright as well.
>>16664930
These professors are probably getting 50 emails a day, you should go and talk about it face to face, they probably expect you to do so as well.
Besides that I have no idea.
![[W]05lAx3j.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Akpgm00.jpg "[W]05lAx3j.jpg")
I'm gone for the day, if there are any posts below this I'll be replying to them tommorow. Thanks for visiting.
>>16664965
Does outright saying I like her too soon screw me over? And can interest build up over time or is it something that is there at the beginning but once it goes it's gone for good?
>>16664999
if you feel like you haven't spent enough time together, you can get to know her better
solid relationships are based on ones that build up as you get to know each other
So I had a really good friend (female).
Never really had too big of a crush on her, just thought If I had to date anyone right now, I'd probably pick her.
After she got her christmas gift (some plushie) she thinks I like her.
Now she refuses to talk to me anymore (we used to talk a lot and hang out)
Her friends reasoning:
"Well, it's a given to a lot of people, if the other person is cold to you, means that they're not interested in you."
The girl basically thinks that if a guy that she's not into likes her, that she should just completely ignore him.
Oh and she's also part of our friend circle, so I don't want to ruin the circle or our friendship.
What should I do?
How would a gentleman react to an insult?
>>16665185
Anything but violence. Most likely brush it off.
>>16665217
sounds more like a supreme gentleman to me
If you let people shit on you your life will become shit as everyone... shits on you
So basically I had been a shut in for a long time. I started leaving my comfort zone, people laugh at my jokes, and I'm a lot better with social graces.
But I don't really know how to make more significant friends (honestly they're more like acquaintances right now), and I usually feel like an outsider. I'm kind of lost on what to do next.
I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks. We used to talk a couple months back but we broke things off because she told me she didn't want a relationship. Anyway, she was supposed to come over today, but she didn't. She said she couldn't because she was on her period. I said I didn't care, we don't have to do anything sexual we can just hang out. She declined that. I want what we have to not be 100% sexual. I'm not sure if she is just using me for sex and doesn't want a real relationship, like I want. I'm not sure if I should confront her about this, because it could hurt my chances at sex. We talk very often and went out with her and her friends a couple times, but this situation convinced me that she just wants to be friends with benefits
>>16663352
>>what do normal people do all day long?
Get a job.
>>16665256
I was on the same boat as you. Try to invite them to hang out. This will let them know that you want to be around them.
>>16665185
Wit.
>>16665230
>sounds more like a supreme gentleman to me
The supreme gentlemen got into a car and started shooting people. Taking a stand against violence seems kind of mutually exclusive with that.
>>16663365
>>16663381
Im not in the dust yet boys
>This morning I text her that she better not tell her friends about last night (trying to keep it secretive and build it up)
>I try to set up another hang out, first two went pretty successful, I suggest Ill bring the movies and liquor and offer a day that im free
>She tells me she is busy all the time
>I text back "ok, another time" (sounds very needy i know)
>she texts back saying that we can hang out, but i cant stay over
What now???? Texting her to hang out again tonight might be pushing it, I know she is also busy with work most days as she is a manager.
How can I make my next move seem not so needy while setting up a hang out
>>16663198
Need advice on my inevitable divorce.
I'm in a shitty marriage. I'm the only one who does anything remotely responsible and getting my wife to do anything other than facefuck her phone all day is a chore. Most of the time it feels like I only exist to pay for everything, cook for her and give her money. She goes out every couple of days to the clubs and gets hammered and high with her friends. I've tried to to explain my frustration to her and she'll feign like she's changing and then go back to the same shit.
There's no argument she cheated on me because she gave me syphillis about a month ago. Told me she probably got it before we got together. We've been together for almost 2 years.
I make $5,000 a month but we always burn it down to the last $100 because she's always borrowing money from people when I won't give her anyway.
How rough will it be getting out of this marriage? She's dependent as fuck on me and wouldn't be able to hold a job to save her life. She's blown through my savings. We live paycheck to paycheck.
I want to avoid providing consistent financial support after the split. I was contemplating saving up for a year a two and then paying her off in one lump sum. I don't know why but feel like I'll be left with nothing after this divorce.
Here's the kicker: I'm 20.
I can't do this for the rest of my life.
Recommendations?
>>16665415
Drop her like a fucking hot potato, if she gave you syphilis next time it might be aids or some shit. Lawyer up and divorce that "leech". but you already knew that it would come to this.
The faster you do this the better off you will be, because like you said, reasoning wont work on her. She is using you for your money and thats it.
>Known roommate for 10 years, early jr high
>We've had on/off flings, but never synced up when we wanted the other
>She's in a seemingly happy relationship now of almost a year
>I've fallen for her again
I don't really know how to handle this, especially since we live together.
I feel like I'm imprisoned in my own home whenever she's there with her boyfriend. which is always.
Literally always with her boyfriend, it's absurdly rare for her to be at the apartment without him also there.
I know this is a meme issue because I'm sure tons of other people have it, but basically I'm great at distracting myself by staring at screens so I don't have the time to really feel interested in anything else.
So I have no interests or hobbies, and I can't study because I'm busy staring at screens and shit.
I need to study on a screen too, and no I can't move all my lecture notes to paper. I'm capable of studying on a screen, even for long periods of time, as long as I start in the first place.
But after waking up the first thing I do is grab my laptop and open a bunch of 4chan catalogs and Skype up, and then half of the day is over already. I don't really think when going to eat or do whatever else because it's all automatic, so I don't have the ability to realize how fast time is flying. I left all the Skype groups wasting my time, but ended up putting all the new time into other imageboards and more vidya. If I don't grab my laptop at the start of the day I end up doing absolutely nothing but lie in bed or something and then grab it later anyway.
My whole lifestyle is one big habit of wasting time and I'm not interested in doing anything useful.
How the hell do I end this screen addiction?
Hello /adv/
This question is about my friend, I'm not sure what to do/say. I have known him since 7th grade, we are currently 20. He grew up with extremely strict parents. Could never do anything fun as a kid. We are both home on winter break from our unis.
During a text convo today, I asked if he wanted to go see a movie, he then complained about getting into a fight with his still strict parents over something and then texted "time to see if my dad's .45 fits in my mouth". We have a morbid sense of humor and typically use extreme amounts of sarcasm so I responded with a joke meme.
He then texted something to the effect of "idk man i think i need to see a therapist. I think I'm a sociopath, half the time i hate everyone i interact with and the other half I think of how much better it would be just to end it all."
The convo that followed was just him saying how he felt, i tried to explain his feelings, told him how his college has free therapy he can use. He had no idea and wants to use it. He then said that he has no morals. Here's a direct quote:
"And honestly I have no morals. Concentration camps? Fine with me. Mass school shootings? Gimmie 1k and I'll join you. Etc etc."
Then he texted me some more positive stuff. Thanked me a lo for being there for him etc.
Saw him later tonight to see the movie which was sold out. We just got some ice cream and drove around instead and talked. Lot of meaningless funny talk, then he started opening up more. Talked about his lifestyle throughout the semester. He is a heavy marijuana user (i remember when he started a few yrs ago), used adderall throughout the 2nd half of the semester which was new this year (he said 50 mg pills). The next bit really took me back a bit. Maybe it was because I physically heard it come out of his mouth this time. I had trouble responding.
>>16666203
Pt 2
He started talking about how he literally feels no emotion towards people. He sleeps terribly but when he does and dreams, it is always lucid where he can do as he pleases and always ends up killing people. Apparently every dream is like this.
All I could say was more general stuff nothing really addressing how fucked up that is. Then there was some more comedy.
He is probably my closest friend. I have never heard this or anything like this from him before.
He is leaving for college tomorrow. Is there anything I can do or should have done? I don't know how to react and talk with him further about this. What do I do?
Already posted in another thread.
Person A, B, and C are all close friends.
A and B have been together for 3 years. A breaks up with B because they don't feel loved. B loves A and is torn up about this, but wants desperately to fix the problems that caused the breakup.
A few days after the breakup, C takes advantage of the situation to ask out A, and they get together behind B's back. A and B still care about each other, but A isn't sure B will actually change, and now A is torn between 2 people.
Is what C did to his/her friend okay or not?
>>16666219
C is picking a relationship with A over a friendship with B. Whether it's okay or not is subjective.
Alright here we go. I used to be friends with this girl. We never dated or anything but did fwb shit and I caught feelings. Long story short we couldn't date because of a great bit of distance (at least that's what she said it was). It was pretty fine for a while just being normal friends, but I really quickly grew tired of basically being her therapist. If only because she would never take advice and try to change. Especially grew tired of helping her with guy shit. She fucked this dude twice her age, and I was like "that's all swell all and good. But you're legit an idiot for assuming he wants more. No 40 year old is looking to have a real relationship with a girl just in her 20s" which led to the king of all arguments (including me calling her a stupid whore and pathetic for stalking down and obsessing over what was essentially a one night stand with a 40 year old friend of a friend), after she cried to me about how I was right (yet made me the bad guy by going "you just seem happier you were right and don't care about my feelings"). For a while shit calmed down, but she continued hanging out with a friend of hers who I've honestly never liked and who is always involved in every bad story she has. Last time we spoke was her texting me about her trying cocaine with her friend for the first time and how she wanted me to talk to her because she took too much and was freaking out. This was like a year ago, I never said anything to her. No goodbye. I literally just stopped talking to her completely. I was tired of feeling like just her therapist and (Much as I hate quoting r9k) her beta stand in for her ex boyfriend. ThING is I recently checked my old inbox and found out she's been messaging me a shit ton. Like once every other week apparently. Shit ranging from "are you dead?", "please answer me" to "I never thought of you as an orbitter or someone I could throw away. I just want you to know that". Now I'm thinking of replying and I don't even know why. What do?
How do deal with a job that you need (i.e. an internship) but you have no experience so you flounder around in the job, getting chewed out all day long by the partners.
>>16666284
Anon, coming from a guy who jas been in the same situation as you, DON'T do it. Stay away. By talking to her, you will undo all of the progress you've made and may find yourself in the same beta-stand-in spot that pissed you off before.
Take a lesson from it and move on. Find a girl who will appreciate you for your compassion, and who hasn't gone down the cocaine and 40 year old road.
>>16666286
You may hate it, but just stick with it. Try your hardest and be honest. A boss/manager/supervisor worth a shit won't get pissed if a hard working employee asks an honest question about something.
Acknowledge that you need this job and work accordingly.
>>16665086
Mainly been advising each other on each others issues, there has been some talk about other things like gaming but other than that not much, she's only started conversation twice, once for advice, the other to ask if I wanted to play a game with her and a friend. The last time I talked with a girl online I was the only one to initiate conversation and I ended up getting rejected, so I'd rather not repeat my mistakes. So how should I see this? Is she interested or just replying out of politeness? And should I wait for her to initiate a conversation before speaking to her again or should I try and talk to her again?
>>16663198
Hey OP, my dick is broken. Rarely in my life have I gotten a full head (it's always a bit soft, like half a centimetre of non-erect tissue), it never feels as hard as I imagine other guys to be (it points outwards, not up at an angle), and when I ejaculate 9 out of 10 times it's oozing more than it is shooting. In the recent years I've experienced losing my erection in the middle of intercourse, and I know it's due to nerves occuring because I'm thinking about it a lot during the act, so it becomes a vicious cycle. Most of the women I've slept with (11) I've not been able to cum the first 3-4 times. It's gotten to a point where I'm starting to be afraid of intercourse, and avoid it by just going down on the girl instead (fortunately I make up for it by being able to give most girls multiple orgasms, and have been told I'm really good at it), so I've avoided awkwardness and total disappointment.
Not long ago I would be able to make love for at least an hour to 90 minutes without any problems, but in the last year in particular, I've started having problems within the first twenty minutes, and sometimes that means I'll just stop because I'm embarrassed.
In the last year I've been taking several weeks long pauses in my masturbation, and if I do it I do it every three or so days (used to do it at least twice a day for many, many years). I've never deathgripped, but even when I'm alone my erections don't get that hard and I quickly lose it if I don't continuously keep at it. If I watch porn it's vanilla porn, no deviant shit.
I'm worried that I might not have as high testosterone levels.
I don't exercise - would this help? I used to be quite active, but I've become lazy and apathetic, so I don't do much most days. Also I have been drinking regularly (at least 2-3 units most days, 6-7 units 4-6 days a month)
If I were to start exercising and cutting down on drink and fap, what else? I want to get hard faster, stay hard longer and ejaculate with more force.
![[W]Bratsigovo ,Rodopi mountain, Bulgaria.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0aWy75k.jpg "[W]Bratsigovo ,Rodopi mountain, Bulgaria.jpg")
>>16665184
Contact her and explain her that you don't think of her like so, and ask if you could be back to being friends as before.
Though personally I don't think there's much friendship to be had if her reaction is to cut off all contact at the sight of slight discomfort.
>>16665185
Brush it off, like this anon >>16665230 said.
Insults say more about the person who utter them than the one who receives it.
Don't let insults get to you, and don't hold any negative feelings towards the person who insult you.
>>16665230
Insults cannot possibly "shit on your life", and if it for whatever reason gets physical (if you don't reciprocate with insults or anger, there's basically no reason for this) you can do you due diligence defending yourself.
>>16665256
Keep doing what you are doing and spen more time with them whenever possible. Once you've reached a certain point and start getting invited to do things together things will progress a lot quicker and you'll get to make many friends.
As >>16665333 said, being the one who takes the action and leads a social interraction definitely speeds things up.
>>16665291
Rather than sitting in the dark about it, talk to her, face to face if possible. Tell her that you want a relationship and want to spend more time with her besides making love. This is more valuable than losing hollow sex.
>>16665410
By not being needy, by taking things slow just like she wants. If you keep pushing with your lust you'll lose her. Take things slow, play by her rules, don't stay over if she doesn't want you to.
>>16665415
The sooner you do it the better anon. Depending on where you live the conditions of divorce change, but your situation should definitely not leave you with nothing, if anything you could sue her but I wouldn't recommend that. Do it as soon as possible.
>>16665470
If she's in a loving relationship, there's nothing you should be doing anon.
There's a good chance that the feelings you feel for her are due to her being around for most of your life, but the fact is there are many others like her out there that you can fall for even harder. Go out and meet new people.
>>16665675
You know what the problem is, and you know an important part of the solution as well, which is starting your day with constructive things and rolling with that with the rest of your day.
Make list of things you need/want to do within the day, and as soon as you wake up and are done with breakfast, start with the first item on your list. Relative to the time it takes for you to complete it, give yourself time for vidya or browsing or whatever else, let's say you need to work on a paper for an hour, award yourself with 1.5 hours doing what you want, but during those hours don't forget that you are to go back to doing the next thing on your list once those hours are up.
At first amke the list small and make it so that at most you can complete it all in 2 hours, then gradually increase. Make sure to always put aside some free hours (don't fill up all 16 of your hours) so that if you do the list accordingly you'll have that free time for yourself, as motivation.
>>16666211
>>16666203
Be there for him when he needs to talk and check up on him for periods of time.
Tell him that he needs to fight against the dreams where he ends up killing people, and that he should fight against the feeling of joy he gets from those dreams or thoughts.
I can understand that he may be very desynthesized due to what he has gone through, but we all do feel something and his love, that exists within all of us, is surely there, and it is in his reach to feel it again if he wants to. Tell him to fight against those evil thoughts and they don't actually belong to him. It is all in his hands to become a better person with positive feelings and inner peace, don't let him think this is the way it's supposed to go or this is the way "he is".
>>16666219
This is a hard one just like >>16666252, but yes it is slightly shady.
C's priority should have been trying to fix their relationship, if there's genuine love between the two of them.
>>16666284
Get your feelings together first, what is it that you want from her?
If you reply back, make sure it comes from a place of love and understanding wanting to help her out by being her friend, by being a decent human being. If you think this isn't for you or would be too much work for you (this doesn't mean that you should be her babysitter seven days a week, just being a good friend) then don't contact.
If you want a relationship with her, straight up tell her and wait for her reply and go from there.
>>16666286
This >>16666431 is good advice.
>>16667332
Talk to her. And you know what to do to find out if she's interested in your or not.
>>16667436
Firstly, you are fine, this is somewhat common unfortunately, and the answer is stopping masturbating altogether and understanding that this is only temporary and making no big deal about it.
Exercising definitely helps, by a great amount, so do regular exercise.
Stop masturbating all together (it is not as hard as you might make it up in your mind to be), stop drinking completely if possible, and do regular exercises. You'll be back in shape in no time if you do these.
Any advice?
I think this girl I date since 2 weeks is pregnant of my seed (I also don't love her).
I study in college since 2 1/2 years without passing ANY exams.
I still live with my parents.
I do drugs (no hard ones) and all this is the reason why my parents were about to kick me out of the house today.
They gave me a LAST chance.
Alright, so here's the deal.
>20
>No job atm but I've had multiple jobs also constantly putting in applications at everywhere in my small town
>Living with dad and he's constantly on my ass about finding a job and complains about me playing vidya
>have a social life, gf and all that
>feel like I'm totally lost in life, I have no fucking idea what I want to do in life with school or what kind of career i want
Anyone care to lend me some /adv/?
>>16667730
You need to gather your will and get your stuff together.
Drop the drugs, completely and don't look back. This is your first priority.
Secondly, be honest with yourself, do you want to study or not? Will you enjoy what you'll be doing after the college with your diploma? Make up your mind and either study well or drop the college. If you are dropping, sit down and think about what it is you want to do with your life, spend as much time as you need to come to a real conclusion.
After you've made your decision, tell them about it to your parents. Tell them you'll not be doing anymore drugs ever again, tell them you've made up your mind to study/drop and that you'll have your life in order.
Tell your parents about the pregnancy and ask for their support. They will understand. If you feel like they've lost a lot of trust in you, you can take a week of getting your stuff together and making them see that you are trying/progressing, and then you can talk about the pregnancy.
This is late surely, but don't have intercourse with people you don't love. If she is pregnant you don't have to marry her or force yourself to love her, although trying to love her and considering marriage is in your best interest. And please, put your effort to be a decent father if the pregnancy is real. Ask for help from your parents, they will be there.
>>16667748
Sit down and think about it. Sounds obvious and simple, yet people don't do it. Put aside an hour or so, sit down and think about what you would really like to do with your life.
Doesn't have to be limited to cliche, common jobs, it could be anything as long as it is THE thing you want to do. An artist of any kind, a programmer, panda caretaker, circus man, literature critic, a job related to building things, windsurfing instructor, or it can be as simple as any job where you get to interract with a lot of people, looking after kids like being a kindergarten teacher, being around animals, jobs that are based on creative work etc.
There's something for you, sit down and think about what you really want.
>>16667763
My parents told me that they lost all trust in me and told me to better go out and live a week on the streets to see how hard life really is.
My father didn't even wanted to look me in the eyes. He told me that he suppressed his urge to fight with me physically.
We reached a state where they suspect everything I do to be negative and I have a bad feeling whenever they address me with anything.
I talked to the women I might got pregnant. She told me she has no interest in child support and won't want any money from me for the child. Of course if everything is true and it's actually my child (as I told earlier, I only know her for 2 weeks and we only had 3 - 4 times intercourse without a condom, the other times were all protected and even without condoms I didn't creampie her, but shoot on her back) I'll take responsibility, but I don't have any financial support to give, except my care and love for my child; I just don't feel ready for all this.
I want to keep studying, move out, get a job and even if I need another 3 years and get 26y/o until I finish my bachelor in computer science, I want to finish the degree and get a job, have my own life and freedom.
Either this, or I'm going to kill myself. Buy me an unregistered weapon, drink one last glass of whiskey, watch the sunset one last time, cry and put the gun to my forehead, pull the trigger and sleep.
>>16667825
Killing yourself is never the answer. Better days are ahead with just a bit of willpower, and every problem you have is very fixable. Trust can be gained back, relationships can be built, you can get a job you like and have your own place.
You have many years ahead of you and a lot of joy to be had, don't give up.
Also, one day you die you might find out that you won't be sleeping but rather moving on to a larger journey, just make sure the destination isn't an unpleasant place.
>>16667843
I just feel like having too good of a heart and that I'm never able to say "No" and just do my own thing.
I feel used by the girl that may be pregnant; I feel used by my so - called friends; I feel used by my "evil" - half.
I just want to get my shit together and stand my man.
>>16668116
