So...I was in love with a girl. We dated briefly and she was really into it but then revealed she has no time for a relationship and called it quits. Over the next couple of weeks, I said some awful things to her, calling her a liar, insincere, and heartless. I apologised a month later but she basically said she wants nothing to do with me and that she never expected I would act that way and say those things to her.
Am I a bad person? I said those things because I was hurt but she said I should have acted like an adult and just accepted it. I'm 25 btw. How do people normally react after a heart break?
>>16654124
Normally people grieve and move on. Some people more some people less. You said it yourself you dated briefly, is she forced to to stick with you even though she doesn't find you attractive anymore? You are not a bad person but you showed weak character by pushing your negative emotions of rejection towards her.
>>16654124
"Has no time for a relationship" is a bullshit excuse, but the result is the same. She ought to have forgiven your outburst with your apology, but fuck it, you're done with her anyway. Just move on.
>>16654124
>am i bad a person
does it matter? if you can do it differently will you become a 'better person'? if so then just do it different in the future. you apologized, hopefully WITHOUT the intent of getting back together.
there is no 'normally' for heartbreak. some people will act like a fucking 12 year old after getting dumped. some people are literally pushed to murder becuase of it. others just cut all contact. others will argue iwht this person for weeks or months over it.
the best you can do is just move on. arguing wont make someone love you after all. when someone breaks up with me i like to know why so i ask. then i just say 'i understand' even if i really dont, cuz you cant really argue someone into not feeling that way.
then you just do your best to move on
>Am I a bad person?
It was a bad thing to do.
I mean she broke with you, it's not like she cheated on you or something, so saying those things to her was pretty immature, although even if she had it's probably always in your best interest to move on.
You apologized though, and you're asking for advice about it, so I guess you realized it wasn't a wise decision. That's what happens in life, you make mistakes, you learn from them, then you move on.
>>16654124
it depends on if the things you said were more from a place of hurt, or more from a place where you were trying to hurt her.
if its the first, you've just got shitty impulse control and need to grow up.
if its the second, you might have to look at yourself some more overall and decide if you are in fact a bad person.
i feel like we're still missing a piece of the puzzle. if things are going as good as you say, nobody calls it quits on a GOOD relationship because they dont have time. for a GOOD relationship you end up making time.
Bad person no. Dumb ass yes. That act made you look weak. Weak get eaten.
>>16654358
I'm as confused as you. One week I was invited over for Christmas. The next I was told she didn't have the time or energy for a relationship.
>>16654725
She doesnt time time or energy because you probably irritated her into FEELING like she doesn't have the time for you anymore. Is it that hard to see?
You blowing up at her just confirmed whatever bad feelings she probably felt creeping up on her about you too. Face it OP. She got some bad vibes from you, tried to dodge the bullet and then you acted like a little shit making her just bolt even faster.
There's no way this was out of nowhere or for no reason. She did the math and realized you weren't what she was looking for. It happens. You need to accept it. Just because you date for a while doesn't always mean you're going to get married. You can drift apart at any time. Handle the rejection better next time and leave her alone.
>>16654883
Uhh no. I did nothing to give her bad vibes before the break up. I only complained that she went days without a single message.
>>16654883
i'm with anon.
use this to teach yourself about how much you need to grow as a person.
I was pretty cringey my last break up, just because it happened in a weird time in my life and the circumstances and following events made it confusing.
I suppose it depends on the relationship. In all, keep your head about you. You'll do better for yourself to accept it and move on with dignity, than collapse at her feet and hope for the best.
>>16654982
you wouldnt know if you 'did nothing' unless you asked. and that was before you went all fucktard. you'd be lucky to get any answer, let alone an honest one now.
>>16655004
How were you cringey?
>>16655014
I asked calmly immediately following. She said "you've done nothing wrong. I just don't have the emotional capacity to maintain a relationship right now"
She had family issues going on so it's probably plausible. No need to rub in how pathetic I acted.
You dont want it back, brah.
Even if you get it back.. you will be on your best behaviour and that essentially means she has all the power because you dont want to fuck things up again.
Chaulk it up to an experience and move the fuck on.
Never spaz out on a break up...
1. word gets out to other woman,
2. obviously nothing to gain from it.
3. learn from the mistakes, move the fuck on.
>>16655025
Alright anon. She doesn't know many people I know so I doubt word will get out. But I guess it's a learning experience
