I normally follow the "never get back together with an ex" ethos, but recently I've fallen for an ex again. Hard. Typically, I'd ignore these feelings, but I only dated this girl when we were teenagers (15-16). The reason we broke up was over really petty teenage stuff, but we've remained great friends as the relationship wasn't serious. We're in our early twenties and I think I have another shot.
The question is: Is it advisable to date an ex if you only went out when you were dumb teenagers, not more mature adults?
>>16638736
It's stupid to set arbitrary "rules" like that for yourself. If you like her, and she likes you, and you've gotten over whatever you fought about in the past, then why not give it a chance? I've known plenty of very strong couples who've gone through breakups or separations, only to get back together and stay together. It can definitely happen.
No. You will be forever tormented by the amount of independent living you guys did while only friends. I don't just mean romantic/sexual business either, though that is a significant part of it.
>>16638759
What does this even mean? How can you be this much of a control freak?
>she's had life experiences that didn't involve me, I can't even look at her anymore
Give it a try. What's the worst that could happen? Heartbreak and disappointment. Suffering is the price to pay for all enjoyment. Go forth and be brave. Good luck!
>16638771
>you
More like "the exes with whom you reconnected." I've been on the short end of this stick, as have friends. I'm not the one swinging it.
>life experiences that didn't involve me
The consequences of those experiences. Not being able to savor new experiences together because you were there watching your ex have them with someone else. Knowing too much about their trysts and romantic pursuits. Wanting to go back to the exact way that things were despite separate experiences having shaped you into new people with new preferences, and the tension of feeling pulled away from that.
>>16638792
I'm guessing you're like 24 years old or younger
>>16638759
>>16638792
This doesn't bother me, really. As far as I see it, our separate experiences have made us more rounded, mature people who know what we want. I know things won't be exactly the same as we were teenagers, not adults.
It just seems like a big risk right now. It took awhile for us to be good friends again, and now that we are, I feel myself falling for her even more and I don't wanna fuck it up again.
At the same time, she drives me absolutely crazy.
>>16638808
I'm curious, why didn't it work out the first time?
Based on what you're saying, though, my instinct is this: Just think of how much you're gonna regret it if you don't make a move, and she gets a boyfriend. Just go for it, ask her out. Maybe it won't work out, but maybe it will. You're always gonna be taking a risk in order to get anything good in life. And you will always regret it if you really wanted someone/something, and you didn't even try.
>>16638829
I was too clingy. It was my first relationship, so I learnt a lot from it. I was doing a lot of dumb teenage boy stuff, y'know? Think it scared her off in the end. The relationship lasted, like, four months, too, but it was quite intense for the both of us.
Obviously, now I'm more mature, and I think she's digging me again. We got baked as fuck at a house party the other week and she just grabbed my arm and went "Where was THIS man all that time ago?". She tried to kiss me, but I declined as she was completely wrecked.
I'm worried that this might be a manifestation of guilt rather than genuine attraction.
Yeah, I agree, man. I just think the rules change a bit with an ex, maybe.
>>16638844
nigga just do it, if anything it's another experience you can learn from
