gf is a sociopath
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I just found out my gf has ASPD (she's a "sociopath")
>meet girl
>she seems perfect, we hit it off immediately
>she likes all the same things as me
>she's always supportive and caring
>start dating
>slowly over the last year of my life things change
>sometimes she says or does little things that are hurtful
>takes random stabs at my self esteem like calling me fat (I'm actually underweight according to BMI)
>notice she starts being really manipulative, seems to enjoy playing head games
>find out she's been hiding a bunch of shit from me
>she did hard drugs WHILE in my house and hid it (I was asleep)
>she's been talking to other men, developing "friendships" with people as young as 16 and old as 50 (she's 22)
>confront her
>she says the men were just friends and she only hid the drugs because she thought I'd get mad
>blames her drug use and acting out on mental illness, says she's bipolar and can't control herself
Today her estranged sister messaged me telling me that my gf never had bipolar, she's actually a psychopath.
Based on some things I've noticed about my gf I believe her sister.
I'm heartbroken and I don't really know where to begin piecing my life together. The relationship was 2 years total, the last year being when things started really getting out of hand.
Any advice?
>>16636384
What if those labels are bullshit, and she just chooses to have a really shitty attitude? Psychology seems to busy labelling instead of fixing. Ofc if she, she will need to see there's something wrong with her behavior. She'll only change if she suffers consequences, because right now, why would she change?
Not necessariy antisocial personality disorder. Sounds like "cluster b" though, perhaps narcissistic or borderline. The difference can be hard to tell outside of careful clinical interviewing by a professional. The difference doesn't matter to you.
You know what matters? She'll ruin your shit and you gotta turn and run. First chance you get. I know that you love her and that at least part of you thinks that you might be able to make it work, but that ain't gonna happen man. Trained, lifelong professionals don't even get close to a 60-80% cure rate with these individuals with all the benefits of hospitalization, drugs, etc etc. It's not your responsibility and it never can be. Turn and run whenever you can.
I didn't listen when they told me the same thing, but I know better now. God knows I wasn't strong enough to leave on my own. I took the opportunity when she dumped me during one of her tantrums. Good luck.
>>16636398
>Psychology seems to busy labelling instead of fixing
Fucking this. They give you a test and that's it. She could have bullshitted, been in a different frame of mind, etc.
And I'm of the belief that there's no such thing as a "sociopath".
Move on with your life, without her. It doesn't really matter what the diagnosis is. You can't trust her
>>16636403
Yeah she doesn't seem to be borderline, her emotions actually don't seem to be out of control or anything, I wonder if she even has feelings at all.
As for narcissistic, I can see certain traits but she doesn't tend to grovel for validation or constantly remind anyone of her importance the way narcissists do.
Apparently she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist after killing a dog and being put in a mental hospital at 16. I had no idea she was hospitalized but she always talked down about mental health professionals so it sort of makes sense.
Thank you for your advice. I'm very nervous about dumping her. I think she'll try to rope me back in. My dad just died and I've been very vulnerable lately. I think it's making our relationship worse because I've been wanting support and she's been pretty cold and distant. Feels like it's a game to her.
I don't think she'd ever dump me. How do I go about ending this?
>>16636403
On a sidenote: it's very common to overlabel women as borderline and underlabel them as antisocial. With men, it's the other way around. Gender roles and culture must play a big part in this.
Also, there's always a chance it could work out. But it'd have to be a two-way street.
Where did you get those 60-80% numbers from?
>>16636403
And on another sidenote, some say aspd and psychopathy aren't the same. Aspders might get somewhat better, while real psychopaths (born, if they exist) are supposedly evil at their core, so working things out is physically impossible in that case.
>>16636410
We should meet. Become friends. Let me slowly manipulate you and steal from/generally wrong you for my own gain. All the while I'll never truly care about you or your feelings because I'm not entirely capable of doing so. We'll cease to be friends and I'll move on to the next victim of my shallow emotional set. I'm not trying to be edgy,just stating a fact. Sometimes I wish I could be normal...
>>16636437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REKJQUcnhxA
>>16636384
Hard drugs? There's your out.
