>noticed some dude's name on my girlfriend's phone's chat log several months ago
>saw it again by chance some months later
>don't see it for a bit
>see it again today
I swear a saw a heart but maybe I'm being paranoid. I trust my girlfriend. Do I just ignore this?
Was he in her phone as boy?
>>16635800
Be more suspicous if she has textme or something like that with an alternate number
>>16635827
Doesn't matter. if it was some dude she doesn't care about and is just bothering her from time to time, he shouldn't be in her contacts at all. It should just be a phone number at the top.
>>16635834
So you already know the anseer
>>16635953
That wasn't me. OP here. Image is stock.
She is cheating you anon, you have actual proof....why aren't you breaking up with her?
Oh and the program she uses doesn't use telephone numbers. It's just a chat program with IDs.
>>16635800
>I trust my girlfriend
You trust the wrong people. She's being shady.
>>16635994
>>16635994
All right, well what should I do? Everything seems fine besides this.
I think if she was cheating she'd seem unhappy or something.
Anymore thoughts adv?
>>16636005
She's talking to a guy and not telling you. Hmmm, what could she be hiding. Ignorance is bliss.
>>16636175
>>16636175
Just hoping for some advice here. Not sure how ignorant it is to simply break up with my girlfriend today because there's a guy in her phone she's talking to in an otherwise good relationship.
>>16636180
By all means stick around and tolerate your girl sneaking a text with a guy who wants to hug her all night. You aren't stupid, I am sure you know what hug means in this situation right?
Your call kid.
>>16635800
Do you know any women that you ever communicate with by means of phone?
if you really don't trust her, ask to see her phone. If you trust her just ask, it's not that hard bro
>>16636217
This. And watch her squirm and make excuses. Or if she's smart she already erased them.
If you trust your girlfriend this wouldnt bother you, so lets just take that out of the way right now.
Youre insecure OP, you probably see your girlfriend being out of your league. what youre going through right now is something we all went through in junior high school.
Let break it down for you.
>insecurity is convincing you something may be going on
>insecurity is making you afraid to confront her on the basis you are afraid of either pissing her off (because you think you cant do better) or finding your suspicions to be fact and you dont want to deal with the pain.
>this relationship is already falling apart in your eyes even if you claim shes happy, youre happiness is hanging by a thread of blind faith.
>its time to move on.
>you have some growing up to do, and then you can try to make this relationship work.
>>16636005
> Prepare to break up with her and live life without her
> Confess to her that you don't believe monogamy is realistic and that you are actually wanting to join back in a polyamory community
> Tell her you trust her and would never cheat on her, but that she must know the truth that being exclusive is not how you want the relationship to continue.
> Tell her how much you love her and that the two of you could explore multiple loves together
> If she seems like she likes the idea or open to it then she is already cheating on you and is a liar
> If she seems appalled and wants to break up then confess to her that was all a test because you suspected she might be cheating and that none of it was true.
Most strategic approach for the best outcome.
>>16636244
I guess I'm just overreacting. I won't let it bother me anymore.
>>16636306
you aren't, do what >>16636272 said to find out. I hate saying cuck but you might actually be one
>>16636306
Where is she now? Sucking cock.
>>16636363
A cuck is someone who loves his girlfriend?
>>16636470
a cuck is someone who's girlfriend might be cheating on him and doesn't do shit
>>16636470
Kek
>>16636272
>creating a "test" for your significant other
Fuck, anyone who does that should consider taking an arrow to the knee instead
>>16636493
Anytime you have a girlfriend and she's not in your line of sight she "might be" cheating on you, professor.
>>16636561
arrow to the knee means asking her hand in marriage. What are you saying?
>>16636306
Why do you even go through her phone chat logs anyways, did she do something to loose your trust already?
>>16636604
It's not a metaphor. I'd just like you to take an arrow to the knee as punishment if you're guilty of putting on bullshit tests.
>>16636617
No, I wouldn't go through her chat logs. This is what I see over her shoulder when we're on the bed just chilling. I don't actively seek it out, but I'll inevitably see it every now and then.
>>16635800
He was probably having sex with her.
>>16635800
If you trust her why are you looking through her shit?
You need to keep her satisfied. Sore some viagra and get a full days rest. Then fuck her brains out and eat her pussy until she has 10 orgasams. Mark her up, give her hickeys on her chest and inner thighs. You need to be alpha about this. If yiu ain't someone else will.
>>16636839
This. OP you are a liar. If you trusted her, this thread wouldn't exist.
Instead of just asking her to see her phone, show her yours. Make it not look like a big deal.
THEN, ask to see her phone. And ask about the messages. Do not make a big fuss, you want to make her comfortable enough to tell the truth... or like people here say, "give her a rope so she can hang herself" [i.e. give her enough confidence to say the truth.].
>>16635800
>I trust my girlfriend.
Apparently you don't.
Please tell me you ended it. She's not worth it
Dude, you MAYBE thought you saw a heart? That doesn't mean shit. For all you know they could've been talking about fucking Starbucks or cocktails and he was "omg, caramel mocha frap uuuuugghhhh <3" because he's gay.
You know what that's like? When chicks blow up over irrational shit. My gf freaked out for a whole day when I told her that I asked a (pre-existing) female friends about whether two colors go together. She concocted some crazy story in her head about me setting up other girls and cheating despite me never doing anything suspicious ever, then she called herself down and finally called me back to apologize profusely the next day. Maybe it's because she was brought up to believe that all men were animals or something, I don't know. If she hadn't cone back to senses though that would raised a big red flag in my head - I don't need to spend my life walking on pins and needles everytime there's another female somewhere in my vicinity.
>having trust in women
I'm not trying to make you feel like shit or anything, but I've gone through the same shit.
It always starts out with little shit like "oh dont worry about it he's only a friend" or some bullshit excuse. Don't take it for a second.
Assume it's all a lie, because half the time, it usually is. Don't let it get to you, op.
Women arent worth the trouble they cause.
Just cut her off, man.
I love threads when OP is a cuck in denial
options are:
1. confront her.
2. investigate her ( i recommend ).
3. dump her.
4. wait.
5. ignore the messages.
did i miss anything?
i'm just laying down the options here so OP can consider them all.
So, uh, keep in mind that a lot of people on 4chan are young emotionally turbulent people with poor relationship histories. So kinda think about that when reading all that memery up there.
That being said, have you thought about being honest with her? Sit down, hey, I have to admit that I noticed on accident a couple times in the past few months that this guy's name showed up on your phone. Now I know I'm being crazy and I know it's a little unreasonable, but I've been sort of worried about this. How do you feel about this situation?
Now this open ended and relatively non confrontational approach will allow you to observe her response and how forthcoming she is about the situation. Which is in itself informative.
Try not to let it devolve into yelling or accusations with paranoid basis. Good luck!
>>16638635
Christ. Dial down the bitterness, please.
>"oh, don't worry anon, he's just a friend :)"
>I'm obviously still suspicious
>[exasperated sigh] "look, do you want to see our conversation?"
>scrolling up through the texts
>literally just talking about cats for like 5 pages
>several messages say shit like "ttyl, boyfriend time :)"
Don't get me wrong, I've been cheated on before too, but there's plenty of trustworthy women, man. One of the signs of a good partner is that they'll understand that some jealousy is natural in a relationship, nigh unavoidable, and take steps to put you at ease instead of lashing out ("why don't you trust me?") or being evasive. Reasonable steps, obviously, not excessive ones.
>>16638731
Also, this is a good post.
>>16635800
I literally just went through this last night.
>Boyfriend of 5 years
>live together
>no reason ever to not trust him
>he's been acting weird with his phone lately
>Hiding it when I come into the room
>taking it into the shower with him
>walked by and saw him texting someone that only has 1 or 2 texts in the convo
>Scared he's deleting texts to hide evidence
He told me he was thanking a friend he doesn't talk to very often for sending us an xmas card. I asked for the card (not in an accusatory way, but in a "oh great! I wanna see!" kind of way) and he was able to give me a card signed by an old friend.
Later that night he could tell I was acting weird and I told him about all the things he's been doing that make me feel suspicious, and he gave me his phone and let me look through it. The text I had seen was in fact to the old friend thanking them for a card. The girl he works with that I was concerned about only has very professional, distanced conversations with him and is not being flirty.
Basically, I didn't accuse him of anything. I told him I trusted him 100% and that it scares me how much I trust him and that I'm scared of getting hurt. He did know he was acting shady, and totally understood how I could have perceived it that way and had legitimate reasons for every thing I had noticed. I feel better after talking to him about it and resolving the issue instead of just holding on to it and trying to catch him doing something.
>>16638812
*He didn't know he was acting shady
>>16635834
This is retarded. I keep contacts in my phone of people I don't want to talk to so I can see who it is if they try to contact me.
just ask her about it in a non judging way, if you guys have a healthy relationship she will respect your insecurity and show you the texts and explain it. if she's being weird well then fuck.
i text my guy friends hearts too, either to show them my platonic friendly love or express my love for something else. my boyfriend knows that and understands.
it's all about communication.
