guy at work calls me "buddy" and it really bothers me. he only calls the men at work buddy, and i'm not even his buddy. he doesn't like me and told me i was no fun to talk to. he's not a bad person though and tries to be nice except for this one thing.
trying not to care but each time he says it i feel annoyed. help.
have you tried not being insane.
>>16632111
Ask him to call you pal, friend.
call him some name that he doesn't like
Then fight him in the parking lot when one of you has had enough.
>>16632111
He calls you buddy because he calls all males buddy while at work. What's the problem?
that's obviously just how he calls people. if you feel annoyed by it the problem is with you not him. it's not like he's calling you names. i know you're thinking "i'm not your buddy wtf" but you have to realize that's just how he calls people. and when he said you're not fun to talk to he was probably not serious as well.
I'm not ur guy......yea budyy!
>>16632122
i'm plenty sane?
>>16632128
dammit trucker why.
>>16632133
calling him a name he doesn't like seems passive aggressive and bitchy. not my style. i'm more the "do nothing but smile insincerely and then cry on the internet" type.
>>16632142
>male
>What's the problem?
give you three guesses
>>16632143
when he said that about me being no fun to talk to he was joking awkwardly yeah. it's because i never know what to say to people and stand around silently hoping no one will look at me. but he doesn't call everyone buddy. only the guys, and there aren't very many guys where i work.
>>16632164
>there aren't very many guys where i work
i mean the logical explanation is that he's calling you buddy to be just friendly with you. it really seems like he's trying to be nice to you all the time and you're just taking it badly. if you actually understand that he's calling you buddy to be friendly, there really shouldn't be a problem, right? from what you said it seems like you're not very good with people either. that's ok as long as you don't actively shun people who're just trying to be friendly.
>>16632164
You're a guy, that's why he calls you buddy.
>>16632177
hey i've been nothing but kind toward him. and it goes further than him being friendly. it's really like he's intentionally calling me "buddy" to assert his belief that i'm male. i mean he's not malicious about it or anything but i do get the sense he's mocking me a little.
he's said homophobic things in the past.
>>16632181
so you're saying this shouldn't matter and i should get over it? honestly i kind of agree with you, but every time i hear him calling me "buddy" i feel sort of upset and very weird.
>>16632193
It's not a belief. It's a biological fact you're a male.
Topkek. Is he older? My older friends call me buddy. Get over it, guy.
>>16632193
>it's really like he's intentionally calling me "buddy" to assert his belief that i'm male. i mean he's not malicious about it or anything but i do get the sense he's mocking me a little.
I think you're taking this line of thought a little too seriously. I'm not even a guy and I have people of both genders refer to me as buddy all the time at work. You're taking this a little too personally, and I think the problem lies with you.
>>16632193
well if you actually think he's calling you buddy for ignorant reasons then you obviously are in the right to think about this more seriously.
i would honestly just straight up let him know that you feel like he calls you buddy to assert his belief onto him. if he's over 18 he most likely will respect you for calling him out in a polite manner and think twice before calling you buddy. best case scenario, he wasn't really calling you buddy to assert anything and you guys resolve a misunderstanding that could've gone badly. worst case scenario, he was doing it to assert his belief and he still insists on doing it. you know he's an asshole and you can plan your next move.
>>16632193
Hmm, maybe you really are a woman. You definitely seem to be acting like one.
>>16632197
i'm not arguing biology here, friend.
>>16632198
yeah he's older.
>>16632202
and i'd be okay with other people calling me buddy if they were like that. but he isn't. he's a good southern christian boy with a thick accent, and calls the girls "ma'am" and things. i can't ever see him calling a girl "buddy". that's sort of why i have an issue with it maybe.
>>16632208
yeah. probably the best way to go i guess. it bothers me that this bothers me. i really don't want to be --annoying trans girl going on about pronouns--
>>16632214
shut the fuck up faggot
>>16632220
You're his friend, they are his bosses/coworkers.
Quit being an asshole and go with it.
>>16632111
Ok mate.
He calls everyone buddy; literally it means fucking nothing. If he only called YOU buddy, THEN you'd have a reason to be unhappy. Right now you're just being needlessly belligerent.
>>16632230
i'm not even close to being his friend. since we have 90% women at work he's a lot closer with many of them than with me. they're his friends and i'm his coworker.
>>16632231
where did i say he calls everyone buddy? there are like 2 other people he calls buddy and they're the guys he sometimes talks to.
Just get over it. You don't have to be friends with all your co-workers, you just have to keep things civil.
>>16632241
>>16632241
Anon, just shut the fuck up, it doesn't mean jack shit. If it really bothers you THAT much confront him about it, other than that, act like a normal person and quit being so irrational.
>>16632241
You're being fucking irrational and stupid. You sound really annoying honestly.
>>16632220
>he's a good southern christian boy with a thick accent, and calls the girls "ma'am" and things.
Right, and he doesn't see you as "ma'am." That's your personal problem and something you're going to have to get over, if you still look like a guy. Even after you fully transition, if you still look/sound like a man, people will think of you as such. There's absolutely nothing you can do except to get over it, because this "OMG cater to me!" attitude you have is absurd.
>>16632241
>they're his friends and i'm his coworker.
Then there's your answer. He doesn't know or care enough about you to cater to your needs. It doesn't sound like he's close to the other two people he calls buddy, but they just happen to be men, and for whatever reason, that just gets under your skin. Fix yourself, because you're the problem.
actually now that i'm thinking about it. i'm not even sure if he's called anyone else buddy. can't remember a specific instance of him doing so, but i guess maybe he has. it was in my mind that way but now i'm thinking differently.
>>16632242
a big part of me does want to just get over it. but it really gets to me. it's like condescending and a way for him to point out that i'm trans. and if i say anything about it i'll seem like a whiny asshole.
>>16632252
>>16632260
you don't see at all how it might bother me? maybe i am being completely irrational. i don't go out of my way to get offended at shit or anything. today a woman at work called me "she. he. i mean, shit." and i didn't care
it's like what bothers me is what i feel his intentions are. intentional aggression?
>>16632274
you really don't seem to understand the situation. my fault for not expressing it well. if you think i'm demanding anyone cater to me then you have the wrong idea. i'm not like that.
>>16632285
So what I;m getting from this is your own complex/insecurity about being trans. Declare you're female and stick with it. Whats your problem?
>>16632285
Here's some life advice;
Just stop caring so much. Just fucking let go of it. As long as you're not openly disrespected, then it honestly doesn't matter at all.
>>16632285
Look - it doesn't matter what his intention is, it doesn't matter if he's being condescending. Because even if you're right, it's so minor and passive-aggressive that it doesn't even merit a response. I repeat, YOUR CO-WORKERS DO NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR FRIENDS. You're not going to get along with everyone, not everyone's going to like you. You're there to get paid. Don't get drawn into petty little disputes because it isn't worth it. There's nothing to gain here.
Act like it doesn't bother you, and just do your fucking job.
>>16632294
some of this has to be my own insecurity, sure. but does that make it a 100% non-issue? he's said homophobic things at work. not to or about me, but about how gay sex is gross and things.
my problem is that it feels like he's being intentionally condescending and a little mean, but in a way that i can't really call him out for without looking like an oversensitive bitch. it makes work less fun and more dreadful.
>>16632301
why is disrespect allowed if it's backhanded or whatever? i don't understand.
>>16632314
>Act like it doesn't bother you, and just do your fucking job.
yeah i have been. and probably will continue to. but it doesn't change the fact that it DOES bother me. does everyone have to put up with similar things at work? i've never really had an experience like this before. it's like he really dislikes me but still tries to put on a friendly front and it comes off insincere and mean.
guess this obsessing is the opposite of what you suggested. it eats at me and i don't know why.
>>16632329
>why is disrespect allowed if it's backhanded or whatever? i don't understand.
because they're you're coworkers and they're just not going to respect you much. It's not about you, they just aren't going to.
>>16632329
We all have co workers we don't like, like my co worker. He's a lazy fucker. Doesn't do more than he's told. I started sweeping because we were done our job and he commented about my sweeping. It pisses me off but I don't say nothing. Just work and make money, fuck everyone else.
>>16632329
>why is disrespect allowed if it's backhanded or whatever? i don't understand.
Because just like you have the freedom to call yourself a woman, other people have the right to say whatever the fuck they want. You can't control him, he's not actually hurting you, so you're just going to have to deal with it, one way or another. If you start an argument in your workplace over something like this, it's going to hurt you more than him
>does everyone have to put up with similar things at work?
It's not ideal, but yeah, it happens sometimes. You'll meet people in your life who you just don't get along with. You'll meet people who are fucking jerks. You can't "fix" them all, you can't seek "justice" when someone's just being a bit unfriendly, so just suck it up.
I do sympathize, it doesn't sound like fun, but really it could be a lot worse. And there's nothing for you to do here other than just go about your business.
>>16632329
>it eats at me and i don't know why.
Because you're a mentally ill tranny.
>>16632329
>why is disrespect allowed if it's backhanded or whatever?
Because it's such a minor issue. Your bosses and coworkers will look at you like you're crazy if you get upset over every little thing. You need to be able to deal with situations like this and let the frustration roll off your back with ease. That's a sign of a good employee, who's there to do their job and not bring about unnecessary drama.
>does everyone have to put up with similar things at work?
Yes. There are many people at work that I don't like, for various reasons, but I do my best to stay civil and keep to myself to avoid the particular people that cause drama. It's not just about being a mature adult, it's about not letting something so small effect your performance.
>it's like he really dislikes me but still tries to put on a friendly front and it comes off insincere and mean.
Get over it. Not everyone likes you or agrees with the way you present yourself or live your life. He's dealing with it in a way that allows him to do his job. You need to do the same, and keep your distance when you're able to.
I'm serious. There's maybe about one or two people I genuinely like at work, and the rest can all fucking disappear for all I care because they're dumb, useless twats. That's where a good work facade comes in--everyone thinks I'm kind, innocent, and a do-no-wrong go-getter. I can be all of those things, especially if it helps me get ahead at work. Sometimes I want to break people in half, but you have to repress those feelings when you have a job.
>>16632111
>he only calls the men at work buddy
Uh so whats the problem here. Im not following. are you a female?
>>16632360
maybe i just need to figure out who i want to be. there's merit in letting go as best i can and moving on. and there's merit in bringing it up with him, if i can pull it off well enough. i could just ask him, "why am i 'buddy', and not friend?"
sounds pretty gay though. and now i'm wondering if maybe i'm seeing him from a place of prejudice for his being a religious southern farm boy type who says homophobic things.
>>16632397
you all keep saying things like this. that there are people at work you just don't like. those people i can deal with without much issue. like the people on 4chan who think it's clever and edgy to call me a faggot with mental illness. that's easy to dismiss because it's straightforward and 100% ignorance.
i've never had this situation before. i actually like this guy. you can tell he has a kind soul and he works very hard for all the right reasons. but with me he has to put up his nice face when i think he actually dislikes me.
guess this is all minor bullshit anyway. but i wish i understood him and myself better.
>>16632398
transgendered
shouldn't there be some middle ground between being an oversensitive SJW type and being a complete doormat who refuses to even talk about their trans experiences and wants (pronouns, etc.)?
in real life i'm the latter. like i'm deathly afraid of being an annoying trans cunt and because of it maybe i make myself more unhappy. and i don't try hard enough at being pretty because it might offend someone?
does any of this make sense to anyone
>>16632409
>transgendered
kek. yeah theres no really a problem here. He just sees you as a guy who chose to mutilate your body. You dont actually think youre a woman hopefully.
>>16632409
So your just tsun tsun for him. Grow up faggot, you're a man so he calls you buddy.
>>16632409
You need to show him how good you are with a cock. Fuck his brains out. He will be calling you honey or "bitch"
>>16632409
>i actually like this guy. you can tell he has a kind soul and he works very hard for all the right reasons.
Do you think that I'm not nice and that I don't work hard for the right reasons? Most people, when dealing with these situations, have these thoughts. There are people I work with that, while nice and keep their distance, have done some horrible shit to people around them in the past, or have lifestyles I don't agree with (religious and preachy). I'm nice to these people, put up a facade, and do my best to get through the day. Don't take it personally.
>you can tell he has a kind soul and he works very hard for all the right reasons. but with me he has to put up his nice face when i think he actually dislikes me.
Either you're imagining things or he disagrees with who you are on a fundamental level--you two will never be friends, if that's the case. He will never like you or agree with what you've done to your body. You're like a living, breathing demon walking the earth, in his eyes. To him, you've destroyed what his god supposedly gave to you. People of faith can sometimes take these things personally.
>>16632428
Sounds like your tacking on a insulting meaning for him calling you buddy and are finding ways to reinforce it by saying stuff like he may or may not only call you buddy or hes a christian southerner. Everyone has different mannerisms and words they use to address acquaintances or strangers. Considering the amount of replies that are similar to mine and the amount of you debating them it seems like you just want someone to agree with your opinion on it, instead of getting anyone else's opinion. Staying in your thread isn't going to help you since everyone is agreeing your imagining it to be disrespectful. Don't know what to tell you, buddy.
>>16632409
So how would you react if one day he snuck up behind you and put his hands tightly on your hips and whispered into your ear 'hey buddy, it seems I have a problem only you can help me out with here' while kissing and nibbling on your neck.
You you love him to bend you over and take you right then and there calling out 'oh yeah buddy' as he comes.
>>16632459
hah i wish. but he's married and also would DEFINITELY not want to fuck me :/
>>16632460
ouch. starting to think you're right about him thinking i'm an affront to god and all that. nothing i can do about it, but that some really great people like him feel that makes me a little depressed. i didn't go out of my way to be walking sin, but the things i wanted to do ended up being seen as immoral.
i don't want to hurt anyone or be immoral. fuck. my family sees me the same way, but they're worse. blatantly aggressive and mean. yeah this thread is really making me feel like shit now.
>>16632474
yeah? maybe i'm being unfair, and i should just give him the benefit of doubt even though it feels like he hates me. i feel conflicted.
>>16632482
lol. i might be okay with that happening...
>>16632491
Since you're not even sure if he even calls anyone else buddy, just think. Of it as a term of endearment. Dress up and doll yourself up more for work and start acting a lot more frilly and girly around him. Stop acting like a cold fish and warm up to him more, show you're dere side more often. Then if you are in fact to only one he calls buddy, one day take him by the hands and look deeply into his eyes and tell him how much you appreciate him calling you by a pet name while acting somewhat suggestivly.
At the very least he will then stop calling you buddy and if you are lucky something more might happen :^)
>>16632491
You shouldn't feel conflicted. Most people honestly just don't give two fucks about what other people are doing. Even if he said gay sex is gross it doesn't mean much more than he thinks it's gross. I'm Christian (a bit of a lazy one admittedly), a gun toting conservative and straight. I think gay sex is gross, doesnt mean i hate/dislike or have an opinion of gays or transexuals or really care what two grown ass men or women do with their lives. That's really it, nothing more nothing less.
think i've decided to try my best to let go. without any way to be certain about his intentions it seems kinda dumb to be upset over it. even though i'll continue to be so lol.
anyway thanks friends
