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Anonymous
2016-01-02 01:11:55 Post No. 16631239
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Anonymous
2016-01-02 01:11:55
Post No. 16631239
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I'm not very good at expressing my thoughts, so if you get lost in the paragraphs I understand.
I have an over-bearing sense of guilt and shame for no particular reason. It's made it very difficult for me to remain comfortable in any given situation. Whenever I get off work I worry that I've done something wrong and that I'll be reprimanded, for example, or if I'm being watched by a stranger just glancing around like any human being would I feel like I've committed a grave error somehow. I often find myself staying quiet and still in social situations for fear of making a mistake.
I get very nervous, even outright upset, at the prospect of a relationship, but I have a lot of pressure on me to find a partner. I'm disgusted by the thought of having to be intimate with someone. I don't watch porn, and I threw a roommate down a flight of stairs because he refused to stop having sex after ten at night when I was trying to sleep.
I'm not gay, since I can't get an erection at whatever gay things 4chan shows off, and I do get turned on by girls, but I'm repulsed by the idea of having to be naked with one. Not only that, girls that everyone else claim to be attractive I find disgusting. No, I don't have any fetishes for goth / suicide / punk or what-have-you, and yes, these are popular girls everyone is claiming is attractive.
How can I get over this complex that makes me hate getting close to someone?
