>meet new girl
>get her number, go on a date
>she's nice and attractive and someone I could for sure see myself becoming involved in long-term
>make out after, set up 2nd date
>before 2nd date she pops in for new years really quick since she couldn't go out
>make out some more
>she then proceeds to tell me that she has herpes, and that she totally understands if that makes me walk out on her
>says that she's done all the research and knows it in and out
>apparently a guy gave it to her back in college
>sitting here about 50/50 either way on how to deal with this situation.
Has anyone ever tried dating someone who had herpes? Was it a massive pain in the god damn ass, not to mention the potential for contaction? If I ever got herpes i'd be devastated. I just really liked this girl and now I don't know if I should continue this or cut her loose
For the record i've already been exposed to coldsores on my mouth so that doesn't really matter
>>16630527
Just stop. Don't start this shit here. It's going to be a fuckfest of shitposting and nerds raging back and forth at one another.
Go do research. As in, how it is contacted, how often it's contracted when there isn't an outbreak versus when sores are present, etc. REPUTABLE medical sites. Based on the totality of your research, make your decision.
>>16630527
>so much of a slut in college she got a std
>now wants to get off the cock train and settle down
Don't be a chuck dude.
>>16630527
genital? mouth?
Just use a condom and steer clear and don't fuck her when she's got open sores. My ex had herpes. We were careful though and years later I'm still not infected.
Most people are carrying herpes latently, regardless of whether it comes to the surface.
>>16630540
>so much of a permavirgin that he never got an STD
don't you want to be cool anon?
I wouldn't. With any given relationship it's like 9:1 odds that it's going to end sooner rather than later. Is that worth the headache of wondering if every future date/gf is down for the risk as well? I'd gamble on this girl not being "the one."
I mean being around her doesn't instantly give you herpes (kek), so I mean if you want to be cautious majority of the time with the things you do sexually with her then sure go for it.. on the other hand if you want to have a normal sex relationship with her then it would be kind of difficult but I think you can work something out and it's even better if she knows about her own condition inside out so most of the stuff she allows you to do most likely won't harm you and if they do call her out man that shit ain't cool
yeah nah bro. its not worth it. I'm sorry, I have become a bit more hard on shit like this so I may not be the right person to weigh in, really not sure at this point; but I would say that for your sake and your future being less of a pain in the ass, that is not worth it.
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/STvNBBS.jpg "maxresdefault[1].jpg")
>>16630527
>>16630527
STOP RIGHT THERE
duuuudee, assuming you're not older than like 30, leave her so fast man.. You can't let feeling bad for a chick earn you herpes, which you will probably inevitably get should you continue to have prolonged relations with her.
Yea dude just no
seriously what were you eve thinking, 50/50???
You'll 100% find someone else, you're literally never too old to start over because theres always chicks in your situation. She'll probably find some herpes filled dude and they'll live on happily, or maybe one day they'll 100% cure it whatever either way omfg man please heed our warnings
>>16630623
>implying OP isn't going to go to a chick who lies about having it, and he gets it anyway
Dunno why everyone flips so much about it. People who cop to it are extremely rare. You're all going to end up with it at some point, unless you're a virgin who marries another virgin who never dated/touched another person's genitals before.
>>16630538
Oh i've done all the google-fuing, I also plan to go to a clinic and get a full sti workup done incase. I also am going to talk to the doctor about this.
>>16630541
That would be my plan.. But i'd be super fucking paranoid about receiving blowjobs, and even just the switching around of hands during sex could easily put me at risk. It'd have to be precise movements during sex which really takes alot out of the whole thing.
>>16630552
Stats wise yes, but i'm in my mid 20s and looking to settle down, and she's nearing her late 20s so i assume she is as well. But if I ever gave my kid herpes before they even were sexually active i'd hate myself forever.
>>16630552
This also bugs me severely
>>16630566
google says that even with a condom you're still suseptible
>>16630527
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU4VcOQzQm0
>>16630527
heres some facts OP
>1 in 5 people have herpes
>of those people, 4 out of 5 are not aware
>this is not because they are ignorant, it is because they do not show any symptoms
>condoms only give you 40% protection from herpes, so even playing safe does not guarantee protection
>it is harder to catch herpes when someone is not showing symptoms, but its still possible
>an alarming amount of the transmission is when signs arent showing (its not like there are people going around bumping ugly with obvious herps)
>there are various medications she can take that make it REALLY hard to transfer the virus
>herpes is permanent and for life, but it is wildly inconsistent
>the first flare up is the longest and most severe
>with each flare up they become fewer and farther between, and less severe
>people who have had herpes for life often experience little to no symptoms after many years of having it (as in, maybe a few bumps a year, if that)
ultimately there is no right or wrong answer here. no one WANTS to have herpes and while its not guaranteed you'll catch it, you dont know. some people can go years having sex with an infected partner and never catch it. others will get it at the first try.
my advice? if you are under 30, dont keep dating her. you are young and will miss out on a LOT of action in your life.
if you are over 30, you might as well go for it. options are limited and everyones got some sort of baggage.
>>16630527
Are we talking about herpes simplex? The one that basically everyone has?
You'll get it anyway, son, might as well be from someone whom you're genuinely interested in..
>>16630645
Here's come the whorish slut defence force
>>16630630
>blowjobs
why? everyone has oral herpes you dont need to worry about it all that much.
>full sti work up
why? most doctors dont check for herpes even in an STD panel unless specifically asked. this is the cdc recommendation because there is no cure for herpes and causing drama for people who have literally zero symptoms sucks.
my advice? if you REALLY like this girl so far, go ahead and date her. but do it old school: dont have sex for awhile. get to know her and see if she is the kind of girl worth risking herpes for. just go out with her for three months and ask yourself 'is this a girl i could settle down with?' if not, break up. if so, take the next steps in having safe sex.
>>16630663
>facts are whore defence
>defence
>>16630672
>spells it with an S
>get fucked, Americuck
>>16630680
>not being from America
no wonder you're so mad about herpes.
>>16630647
Genital is the one that gets me
>>16630668
I always go get checked for sti's when I potentially have a new sexual partner. And that includes a test for herpes
