For NYE I followed my friend and his friends to a bar with a dance floor and it was one of the most awkward things I've done. I just don't get it. People are rude, music is loud, and my friend left me with his friends to whom I never talked before. One of those friends was a girl and I could tell she really wanted to dance but I felt so uncomfortable dancing with someone I barely started getting to know that I just ran away.
Clubbing and just letting things happen with girls is one of my big insecurities that just got reinforced pretty heavily. I have no problem talking to girls but when it comes to dancing and the more "wild" things I just go full dear in the headlight mode.
Any advice for fags like me?
Would it help to realize that everyone feels exactly the same way? Everyone else is getting rudely bumped or shoved, everyone's head and ears hurt and everyone is just as awkward around new people as you are. They're also just as self-conscious about dancing with strangers.
All of that having been said, some people just inexplicably enjoy the experience. Some don't. If you give yourself the most honest opportunity to try it out when you get curious and it fails to deliver, there's no problem with shrugging and walking away. The way to do that best is to be cool about the decision and still motivated to find satisfying ways to spend your time.
>>16630485
alcohol
Bump, same here.
>>16630485
if you dont like it, dont do it.
>BUT I WANNA LIKE IT
thats not a thing.
I've felt this way all my life, but recently i went to a techno party with a girl i met through tinder. Techno is really not my thing, always hated it.
Thing is, the girl wanted to do xtc, I was up for it because people always tell me you'll understand the music when you're on xtc.
And dear god was it true, you do have kind of a dip when it's over, because you use a lot of dopamine in the trip. But I can still access the feeling.
This may sound weird since im kinda telling you to take drugs, but I really feel like im a better dancer and i can enjoy myself dancing, enjoy the music.
>>16630814
That's how raves became a thing anon. Ecstasy makes you way more outgoing and helps remove your inhibitions in a way that's different from alcohol. Alcohol clouds your mind, but that doesn't happen when you're rolling, so you get to have a clear head and still realize that you don't have to care what other people think of you. It helps you let go of your insecurities temporarily.
>>16630767
>I am closed minded and dismiss things I don't like at first
how's the basement life treating you, anon?
>>16630902
>i am close minded and think that anyone who gives that advice must not enjoy dancing himself
re read my post, and try not to be a twat. theres some advice for ya.
>>16630902
>how's the basement life treating you, anon?
There's a difference between being open to new things and enduring new things simply because everyone else likes it.
I go to clubs and bars frequently and I'm not going to lie and say I get laid all of the time but its pretty steady and I can't complain. I never dance. I've never enjoyed large crowds or large social activities and I'm 25 years old and have plenty of friends, a job, hobbies and things to fill my life with.
Stop pretending that society is black and white and that there's no middle ground for people that don't like hopping in the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing.
If you don't like dancing, don't do it. Honestly, all those people rubbing on each other and bobbing around the dance floor like sweaty, drunk buoys look fucking ridiculous and I'm glad to never be apart of that. Thats just me.
>>16630923
>op asks for ways to overcome an insecurity
>"don't do it there's no such thing as wanting to like it"
mfw you think you're doing anyone a favor.
OP here. I should have been more clear. I don't necessarily hate dancing/clubbing/whatever but I understand it might not be for me. My problem is that I seem to have a mental block or a big fear of dancing in a crowd and whenever I hang out with a large group of people I stick out like a dumbass because of it. I hate the feeling and I just wanted to figure out a way to maybe improve on that aspect of life.
>>16630497
that makes a lot of sense. thanks.
Don't go clubbing, I went to a karoke bar after NYE and found a pretty cool girl. Who and I quote said "I hate clubbing".
You basically need to get hammered but not so hammered that you can function and just not think about anything. It is a shitty environment and I hate it, but for whatever fucking reasons the girls typically want to go so you get dragged along.
>>16630975
Do you drink? Alcohol really makes it easier to not give a fuck when dancing in a crowd and after a few times you get used to dancing so it won't be a problem anymore even if you are sober.
If the music is shitty then dancing will feel like shit as well, obviously.
I hate dancing IF i didnt drank 3 or norę beers.
>>16631125
>>16631118
if so many people have to drink a lot to enjoy clubbing, is it not just a meme?
