>dating best girl ever for a year
>she breaks up w me, calls an indefinite break about a month ago
>wants to focus on being an individual
>I can't not be with her
>demands that I treat her like a friend in public but we still have sex sometimes
>has no plan to become an individual and has made no progress whatsoever in the past month
>frequently tells me she loves me
How do I get her to take me back?
>>16629951
>>wants to focus on being an individual
Dumbest shit I've ever heard.
>>16629959
I know it doesn't mean anything and it's don't understand it and it makes me question why she dumped me
>>16629959
this.
Sounds to me like excuse to rationalize cheating or attempt to date someone else lol - "we weren't really dating, so it wasn't cheating."
1. Ask her to explain in detail what is her reasoning behind putting your relationship on a break. To make you understand.
2. Ask her how long is this going to take.
3. Ask her if she plans to date other people during that time. If so, put up a clear margin - either she is dating you or she is not. Don't let her fuck around with you anon.
>>16629951
Show her you are actually pissed off about it maybe. She's getting obsessed with petty psychological teen drama when actually all she has to do is keep going with her life to be an individual. And that includes interacting with others, an individual is defined by how they are different from other people. If there is no confrontation in a relationship then there is no growth for the individual.
And If you are holding her back on some shit like "I want to go to art school in Russia" then don't hold her back, let her make those mistakes right now, because if she realizes how stupid that is she'll come back, if she doesn't then you were making her life worse.
>>16629992
this. its time to put your foot down. this sort of behavior is just her wnating to either be open when someone else asks her out, or just general slutting around.
you cant let her treat you like that. you are not a back up anon. go to her and say 'were either together or were not'. thats the most choice you give her.
if she says 'i dont know' or 'i need time to think about it' or anything other than 'yes, we are together' then tell her that you are over and cant see each other anymore.
>>16629951
go full "you're either with me or you're not". If you did this to her, she wouldn't accept it for shit, I can bet my balls on it.
>>16629992
>>16630001
>>16630008
I don't want to do this because I don't want to hold her hostage in a relationship she doesn't really want to be in, and I want her to achieve whatever it is she is looking for
>>16630031
then talk it out, find out what she wants, and then leave her. wanting her to achieve what she wants is fine but doing it at your own expense that you are being 'used' by her while she sluts around or pursues someone else is not okay.
you are not a back up option.
>>16630031
But what you just said is the exact reason why you must confront her anon.
If she has doubts about relationship with you, she has to decide - if not at the spot, then within defined time margin.
>dating best girl ever for a year
right from this line it is pretty clear that you fear losing her greatly - but if you don't do anything right now, it will end - and it will end ugly. She already had a month FFS - when will she decide then, when she dragged you around for 2 more years?
IMO just waiting this out is not an option for you.
>>16630031
you are not holding anyone hostage.
You are just saying "You want to be with me or not?"
If she says yes she's not a hostage and you can end up this shit anytime anyways.
If she says no or I don't know then let her go and stop giving any fucks asap.
>>16630038
She is completely honest with me and she swears she isn't seeing anyone else and it's not about that
>>16629951
She is trying to find other people to hookup with. Otherwise there is literally no reason for this shit.
>>16630152
and?
