What should I do?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
>My bf and I, we're living separate now. He wants to marry me soon, maybe in a year or two.
>He is talented and hardworking. He is in the arts. He loves what he does. He has a show coming up soon.
>But he has no job and he doesn't take commissions unless it's paying good. Which is very rare.
>I have a part time job. Sometimes I have to support him financially, which I don't mind but it crunches my savings.
>If he starts earning, his family will hound him for financial support. Right now he's sort of cut himself off. And if he gets a job, he'll have to stop doing what he loves and take up things that are more commercial. But if he doesn't earn anything, it gets hard on me, and I also have no way to convince my family that we'll be good. I mean, he's not of the same religion anyway so that's one huge hurdle to cross. But if I do convince them, then I need something for them to say yes. The only thing I can think of now is financial security. Is there any other argument? Or is there some compromise to convince him to earn? I'm caught up in a dilemma, cos even though I want him to find a job, I don't want him to give up his passion. I don't know how these two can come together.
>>16629593
I can just smell fake posts from a mile away, and I'm pretty sure there's still a bottle of vodka in my bloodstream right now.
>>16629594
why is it a fake post? who'd bother this much? it's too complex a situation for you? then don't answer and enjoy your vodka.
>>16629593
You have an odd grasp of the meaning of the word "hardworking".
>>16629722
:/ is that so?
He wakes up at 8am everyday and does his own work till evening. He's organised, he cooks and does everything. The only thing is that he's not earning properly. He got a scholarship recently because of his own work and he's using that money to buy material and make more works.
Compared to that, I feel way less dedicated.
>what should I do?
You tell him everything that you put here. I find it ridiculous he's turning down work because it isn't enough money. He should have a set price for his work, but perhaps he's overestimating how much his work is. If he had a semi-known name and reputation he could afford to turn down work because he has other clients offering jobs. He needs to take on more clients so he can build a better portfolio.
Tell him your concerns and how this makes you feel. Don't make demands because they never work.
>>16629779
He turned down a few clients because it was too many hours and too less money. One time, he knew the middleman guy was swindling off some, so he refused it.
A few months back he revealed he didn't pick up one client cos it meant being away from me for a month or two and it was sort of indefinite. I blasted him for that telling him not to worry about us because he'd be doing this for us. He said he won't do it again.
He's gonna be taking a workshop soon, but that's not much.
I'm telling myself to hold off speaking to him till his show is over. He's preparing a nice set of works I feel so I hope he gets a few buyers interested. It's in September though, so I'm feeling really edgy. I can't tell him to take up work now else he'll lose out on time to put up a good curated show.
Ahhhh. My parents want me to agree to arranged marriage and I'm really putting it off. It leaves me in a real fix. I wish his show was preponed dammit.
tell him to start taking commissions for furry porn
you'll be able to kiss any money problems goodbye after that
>>16629765
If he's not getting paid it's not work. Dedicated, motivated or committed sure, but hardworking, nope. The guy grabbing all the overtime he can, the single mom with 2 jobs, the student with no social life, those are the hard workers.
>>16629955
I disagree. I understand where you're coming from though, but this line of profession is like that. And how is he different from the student with no social life. He's pretty much like that right now, just out of college.
I get the ditch I'm in and I guess I'm just venting and clarifying myself through this thread.
