Ok, here is the deal.. My gf and I have been dating for 3 years now and she recently told me her parents are moving to Seattle (we both live in Texas) She is 20 and I'm 21 and well she asked me if I would come with her and we would rent a place together in Seattle which I would love to do buy unfortunately she doesn't understand that right now my parents are in a really bad spot and I cant just up and leave them.I'm helping them out with bills and their medical stuff..What do? I'm pretty sure we wouldnt be able to maintain a relationship that long distance if i stayed but I wouldnt be able to help my parents if I left..She says she will help put money up for plane tickets to visit them but how can i be so sure we will financially afford that? pls help ;o;
Why does she have to move? Why can't she stay in Texas?
>>16628382
Can you find a job to support both?
Why do you have to move? Why won't she stay?
I moved from Dallas to Seattle for work. Real, post graduate career work. It's expensive as fuck here, even with me making a good salary. You will not be able to afford it with whatever paltry fast food job the two of you end up with. Save yourself the grief and stay where you are.
>>16628384
>>16628386
She is moving cause her parents are moving there and she is wanting to go with them.
I would like to find a job there to support us but I'm a full time college student with a job thats helping my parents out with bills and such..I'm a very nervous person when it comes to financial things
>>16628394
So she doesn't HAVE to move? Given your position, you'd have to be dumb as fuck to move, so it's really up to her to stay if you don't want to LDR
>>16628394
how much more time do you have at college? is there any end in sight to your parents financial issues?
the general thing to do would be saying
>yes, i would love to move to seattle and start my life with you... but im still in education and helping to take care of my parents.
>i graduate at XX time. would you be willing to move in with me here and we can move out there after graduation?
you also got to factor in your parents financial situation. is there any end in sight? or are you expected to take care of them til they die? cuz at that point literally your only option is telling her that, and aksing her to stand by you through it.
chances are she will say no and you two will break up.
As far as I understood, your parents are sick, and her parents are fine. If so, it would be sensible if she stayed in Texas with you.
>>16628412
She doesn't have to at all..I even offered for her to stay here with me and we would rent a place together here but she didnt seem to like that idea..I mean I love her to death but honestly I wouldn't want a relationship that far with her.
>>16628418
I have about a year left till I get my bachelors but eventually I want a masters degree.
With my parents there isnt a end no..They both keep getting worse as time rolls on.
>>16628419
I thought so too but she said she "Hates Texas and wants to travel the world and explore"
>>16628434
Stay where you are. If an LDR works out, great. If it doesn't, there are other girls out there who are more understanding of your situation. Seattle isn't going to be any more exotic than Texas, and she can always go and visit her parents if she's so desperate to travel.
>>16628434
Couldn't you live far from your parents and send them money?
>>16628441
He's a student, he's probably going to have trouble paying his own expenses in Seattle, let alone have any left over to send them money.
>>16628449
this pretty much and plus I help them around teh house and things like that..My mother is battling cancer and my father has a pinched nerve in his back that causes severe muscle spasms.
>>16628434
no one would want a LDR anon, especially with there being no end in sight. LDRs are for people who are spending like a YEAR apart because of extenuating circumstances. not for people who have no actual plan to get together because they have to live their current lives indefinitely.
> i want a masters
you could always transfer i imagine, though it might things more difficult. im no college pro here, but isnt it typical for people to get their masters at the same institution they got their bachelors? perhaps im wrong. i imagine you would be able to transfer regardless though.
that being said, if your parents are an indefinite situation, there isnt much you can do except for give up on your parents. you can say 'oh i cant do that', but you might want to sit down and think about what the worse that will happen is.
are you actually paying anything off here, or are you just helping to make the debt not nearly as bad. and if thats the case, how much good are you really doing? would you leaving really do anything? are you doing anything more than MAYBE slowing down an inevitable collapse?
and what will happen with said collapse? will they just literally be thrown on to the streets to fend for themselves? is this going to happen anyways? or are they going to die soon? i hate to make you think about these things, it sounds like you got half the world on your shoulders bud, but for your next big step in your life plan you got to think about whats actually going to happen.
cont.
>>16628460
it sounds like you and her renting a place locally will be no more helpful than you moving away. in both cases you would be spending money on a different living location. being closer to them wont save you anymore money, would it?
it sounds to me like you are on two different life paths. no one would blame you if you left your parents to fend for themselves (Realistically how much are you contributing with only a part time job while at a full time college?) but if you want to stick with your parents you probably have to say goodbye to this girl. she wnats you to drop your whole life to be with her, but she doesnt seem willing to wait it out with you at all.
>>16628459
Seriously, stay in Texas. Your parents come first in situations like this, especially if there is no one else to help them around. Imagine if your mother's health took a turn for the worst while you were there. Your girlfriend sounds like she's being a tad selfish in this situation, to be honest
I thank everyone for their advice and I hope you all have a happy new years. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stay but nonetheless I have some heavy thinking to do
>>16628528
sorry for your troubles OP. hope you find answers that make you happy.
at the very least know some day soon most of this will be distant drama.
good luck.
