Love...
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
The girl that I love, that I have been with for 3-4 years just left me for another guy... I've been crying all night, making this the worst New Years yet, my stomach hurts so much from crying... What do I do?
Learn to be a better boyfriend.
>>16628152
I'll work on that...
>>16628150
Fuck all of her friends, all of them.
>>16628150
ouch, im sorry OP. if you were in LA id buy you a beer and play some vidyah with you.
not much immediate advice to give. maybe you'd be better off taking a sleeping pill tonight and just blacking out til 2016. thats really rough man.
wanna tell the story?
>>16628158
I've never really told a story so I don't k ow how to green text properly..
>>16628160
you dont have to if you dont want to. basically all you do is tell us a bit about the relationship then why it fell apart and how she dumped you.
but you dont have to. i just feel bad. i dont usually go into relationshit threads but 4 years down the drain on new years eve is pretty hardcore bro.
Mate, just smile for a lil' while. It may not help, but it always good to hold a smile on your face in the worst times. I know you will pull through and make this the best year yet. All you gotta do is keep on walking.
Alcohol helps for a while.
That aside, when I'm feeling really down about shit. I remember that my current experiences are just a memory.
Think about it.
You got like 50+ years left to live.
Out of all that time, your current you is just a memory of all the rest of you.
Yeah, it's shit now, but you're just a memory. It'll pass
>>16628193
while i cant offer advice on tonight, to expand on what this anon says^
psychologically speaking it is easier to get over someone when they get switched from 'short term' to 'long term' memory. when something is part of your short term memory your brain is used to having the maround, so it constantly reminds you of that person or thing.
so, how do you switch someone from short term to long term memory? the best way is to replace the things you did before so it creates new memories.
if you watched a TV show with ur gf, might be time to stop watching that show. or watch it in a different room. start filling spare time with hobbies cuz sitting around in dwelling on her will only keep her in your short term. start playing new video games or building something or writing something or drawing something.
Watch a funny movie. Not a Rom-com. But watch something that takes your mind off things,like Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Exercise will help too.
>>16628150
Everyone in this thread is giving poor advice.
Here's how you have to look at it.
Your ex girlfriend is obviously a disloyal hoe and you've obviously got some improving to do.
Nothing of value has been lost here. If not this it would have ended badly some other way.
Take this chance to improve yourself.
Learn to attract women. Find a girl who truly loves you.
Looking back, you'll find that losing this girl is the best thing that has ever happened to you, but only if you take life into your own hands now.
Enough being a victim and being swept away by the tides.
>>16628158
I'd buy you a beer and hang out with you too man.
I'm so sorry.
I would say to go take a long shower. Just sit there for a while. Then go back to your bed and watch some TV on your computer if you can. Just watch some tv, listen to music, try to forget. Then go out for a walk when you can manage it. It's really, really hard, I know.
>>16628150
Sorry to hear, OP. You'll find a better girl. It may not seem like it, especially now, but if she left you for some other fuck you can find someone smarter. I'm a shitty writer and /adv/isor i'm sorry if this isn't helping but it's all gonna be good anon
>>16628273
>you'll never find a better girl
i always hate that kind of condolence. i guess my issue is i dont see why people should want something that doesn't exist.
imagine if your dog died and someone came up and said 'dont worry, you'll find a better dog'
its like, dude, what the fuck? its not about good or bad or any of that jazz. its about the specific bond you developed with a person because of how you felt about them.
people arent toasters.
>>16628331
>doesn't exist
she's out there. unlike the dog, yes you can find someone you will connect with better
>>16628340
how would you know? im not even a romantic, but there are people you objectively get with better.
all that being said, 'doesnt exist' wasnt being used in the sense that there isnt another woman out there.
its that you are trying to make someone feel better with the vague concept of something that has no existence in his mind. an imaginary hypothetical person does not matter. there is literally no emotion for someone you have never met.
its a really weird thing to say, like telling someone they will get a better dog.
>>16628348
I understand where you're coming from, and i apologize for being a dick. I was feeling sad like you described after a couple years breakup, but feel like i've found a better match and if a cuck like me can do it you can do it better
>>16628150
Just be glad you were lucky enough to be in love with someone for 4 years.
Some of us won't ever even hold a girl's hand (myself included)
>>16628356
i dont even think you were a dick, just tryna point out how futile and weird that kind of condolence is.
its like when someone has a hardcore problem and someone just says
>dont worry about it, it'll be okay
it tends to just make people feel worse.
congrats on finding another partner, but i dont imagine if you broke up with her hearing 'you'll find someone better' would be of any consolation to you, yeah?
a little off topic on my actual point here but you also got to consider that your experience isnt universal. we all will date again, thats generally true, but you cant really say 'well it happened for me, so its gotta happen for some stranger on an anonymous czechslovakian pictograph forum'.
truth is we only ever feel the relationship we are in (assuming we do actually like that person) is the most important relationship of our life, simply because its there.
I'm sorry to hear that, OP. Not something I can say I've ever felt personally, though I've got some close friends who have. Not good times.
The biggest thing is to let yourself grieve. Psychologically, this really isn't much different from mourning someone who died, and it ends the same way: you don't so much get OVER it as get USED TO it. Get the feelings out where you can process them, much like you are already doing. What's most important is not to cling to them. That way lies madness. Do wjat you must, and then put them to bed.
