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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I'm bored as fuck, so I'll give my advice to anyone that wants it from now until midnight.
>inb4 hurr durr beta neet didn't go out for new years.
I didn't feel like it this year. Got invited to a party but would rather stay with my parents tonight.
A little about me:
>25
>grad student at major university in the midwest (chemical engineering)
>grew up poor as fuck, worked my way up.
>have battled depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse. But here I am.
Feel free to ask me anything from relationship advice, money, school, anything. I've lived a lot and made many mistakes, but have also learned a lot.
it's already over midnight here
>>16627806
Well I still have about 3 hours in my neck of the woods mate.
I've been invited to go out with mutual friends, including an ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend.
I'm afraid to go and I think seeing them together will hurt me, but I'm afraid that if I don't go I'll come off like a bitch. What do?
Alright. I'm curious. How did you get tangled up in such abuse?
what can I infer from this? she's basically attacking me and says my name every time, cray cray?
I'm just trying to offer the useful advice her father gave her but she's shutting me down and spiraling downward to rock bottom feminazi mode
>>16627811
It really depends. Do you think you'll see them around often anyway? (do you go to school together or anything?)
If the answer is yes, you might as well just go to get used to the feeling.
That being said, never let anybody ruin your fun. If you want to go out with your buddies and have a good time, to hell with your ex and her bf. Don't let them factor in to your night.
On the other hand, I've totally have been there and have avoided places because of exes, but only when I had other options of places I could go to. For example, one of my exes was a bartender, and I obviously didn't go to the bar where she worked in order to avoid the awkwardness. Not a big deal, since there's tons of bars where I live.
So vicious..When I'm trying to help someone consider a better life...
she's
>atheist
>feminist
>"lesbian"
>dyed hair
>tall
I see how cruel people are to one another and one of my friends even ended up killing himself..I just want people to stop saying alpha/beta when it's really hero/villain since we are human. There is good out there, I want to share my kindness with those that deserve it
>>16627818
I fell into depression, and partying was the only thing that I looked forward to. I loved smoking weed and drinking. Gave it up after a year. Was hard as hell, especially giving up weed.
>>16627834
>>16627823
>>16627820
I can't tell if you're trolling or not. In the off-chance you're not, I assume you're a guy and she's a girl right?
Who is she and how do you know her?
Why are you bugging her with /pol/ related stuff?
>>16627830
I'm not super interested in seeing any members of that group, but the person I really wanted to see tonight is sick. I have other plans, which is just to hang out with a old friend, and I think that is how I'll spend my night, even though I don't feel like it's as fun or exciting or romantic as going out. I'd only be afraid of being seen as being avoidant or weak.
I'm not going to see them around after this.
>>16627844
Cause I feel for others and don't wish to see someone so pretty act so cold and icy..specially towards the people who can make her happy. I'm tired of youths ending their lives early and being so unfriendly
>>16627863
>I have other plans, which is just to hang out with a old friend, and I think that is how I'll spend my night, even though I don't feel like it's as fun or exciting or romantic as going out.
Sounds like a good plan. I love catching up with my really good friends from time to time.
>I'd only be afraid of being seen as being avoidant or weak.
I know it's a cliche, but who care what they think? They may or may not talk shit about you whether you show up or not. People always will. They might not even know if you don't show up. Don't overthink it.
>I'm not going to see them around after this.
That's good. Both of you will forget about in a few months. I guarantee you.
She doesn't have to know your every move, and neither do you have to know her every move. You guys broke up for a reason.
>>16627867
answer my other two questions, so I can at least have some context about what's going on.
Pretty sure you're trolling though.
>>16627867
>>16627877
You're fantastic anon. Thanks for the perspective, and have a great night.
>>16627844
She's someone I knew in HS...she's way more spiteful and less caring than before..not that she ever really cared about anyone other than herself...
I self medicate with alcohol. Anything you can tell me that I haven't been told a million times?
>>16627896
Thanks mate, have a happy new year!!
>>16627897
So I don't get how the /pol/ propaganda ties in.
>>16627904
How often do you drink?
What exactly are you self-medicating? Depression, anxiety or something else?
>>16627798
>meet qt at work
>we talk, hit it off and all that nonsense
>never got her # or info, she worked a different dep. and shift
>she was always around her management team and other coworkers which made it hard for me to ask her out and stuff
>leave work for school and other things
>i return 7 months later
>still in school and all, just needed some time off
>i see her and all
>she ignores me, and pretty much acts like I don't exist
>seriously wtf, idk what to do
>I don't really want to date her, cus of work, but it's been really weird how she is acting like such a bitch
>been three months and still haven't talked to her
Wat do?
>>16627798
What do you think of this short film?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cAXAI5SN3M&feature=youtu.be
>>16627905
she's a brainwashed feminazi. It's not propaganda it's true! If we don't vote trump we'll get un-regulated migration and our children will be kidnapped, our women raped, our people attacked and murdered. She and her feminazi friends are brainwashed into voting left
>>16627907
Anxiety and... depression? Alcohol makes me happy and "act" normal. I can start a convo without my heart popping out of my chest.
>>16627913
And I drink everyday.
>>16627911
propaganda against whites. funny enough the two white actors are jewish
>>16627910
Honestly, go on about your life anon. If you really don't want to date her just let her be. As long as she's not actually being a total bitch towards you (actually doing things that harm you or annoy you), just let it go.
If you really want to know then it's obvious; talk to her about it.
>>16627912
>bait
You may believe what you're saying but you're stalking this girl anon. Leave her alone. The best way to lead people is by example. Not by being creepy.
>>16627913
>>16627916
Do you drink in excess everyday? Or do you have like a beer or a cup of wine?
Everybody uses alcohol to calm their nerves. Even after my drug and alcohol problems I still drink occasionally especially in social settings. My father was an alcoholic, so I actually have genetics stacked against me.
Beating my drug and alcohol abuse left me scarred in some ways, I'm not gonna lie.
I went cold turkey for a couple of months and then started drinking again, but very, very cautiously.
>>16627932
>creepy
was...I really acting that way?
My life is over
>>16627911
I think the girl is pretty cute.
Also the guy is clearly not mexican. He looks black and his accent sounds colombian or something.
decent acting for an amateur film to be honest.
Pretty random of you to send this to me.
Kinda funny too. Not too bad.
>>16627932
I am going about my life, but for some reason her ignoring me, attracts me to the point that i have to talk to her, but so far I haven't been in a position where i can actually have a 1 on 1 and i just want to know what's up, i just want some closure i guess
>>16627937
I dated a girl who I was in love with (still am to some extent). The more I got to know her the more I found out about her ultra-degenerate ways (she slept around since the age of 15, had an abortion, went to mardi gras and would flash everyone, had anal sex with her ex, cheated on him, you name it).
It honestly broke my heart finding all this stuff about her. I loved her. I was just there for her, and I tried my hardest not to judge her.
Things just didn't work out, she couldn't beat her own demon's enough to stay with me or to have a stable relationship with anyone.
There's nothing I could do for her. Believe me, I tried. Such is life.
>>16627944
>attracts me to the point that i have to talk to her
Girls love to play games like this, believe it or not and you're falling for it.
She might actually be involved with someone else. If she's not, then try your hardest to find the opportunity (maybe after work?) where you can at least have some privacy to initiate a conversation with her. You don't have to jump straight to the romantic stuff. Start out casually by being her friend and then work your way up.
That is of course, if you actually want to try something with her.
btw, even if she always seems surrounded by other people, don't let that stop you. Women like men with confidence, and so long as you're not a total autist with zero social skills you should be able to muster enough confidence to talk to her even in front of her friends.
>>16627798
Is engineering actually that challenging?
What is the best way to schedule classes?
Do engineering jobs suck?
Have you ever gotten an international internship? Are they hard to get?
>>16627965
wow. thanks man, I feel a whole lot better now.
>>16627798
How do I help a friend who obviously needs help but pretty much says he needs to do this his own way/by himself
Drugs ranging from cannabis, lsd and shrooms to amphetamine and benzodiazepine with alcohol.
I feel he feels ashamed of his situation but unable do do anything about it, I want to help but I don't want him to feel I betrayed his trust by telling about this to a doctor etc.
Just had a conversation with him and I'm worried
>>16627970
>Is engineering actually that challenging?
It depends on your major and school I guess. If you're confident in your mathematical abilities (which is like 80% of engineering) and your problem-solving skills (did you like word problems in math class?) than engineering is for you.
In a lot of colleges the hard thing is getting accepted into your program, in a top notch school you will be competing against the best students and to get into many programs you will need at least above a 3.5 to have a real chance to get in. Chemical and computer engineering tend to be the most competitive to get in and to stay alive.
>What is the best way to schedule classes?
Always check rate my professors. If you're not truly convinced about a professor, than wait another semester if possible. The professor matters a lot. Ask your friends, siblings, or anybody else as well for recommendations. Possibly the least helpful people a lot of times will be actual advisers. A lot of times they will push students to bite off more than they can chew.
>Do engineering jobs suck?
Some of them, you cannot advance in. A lot of times you will use a fraction of what you've learned. But the potential for high earnings and advancement is why people covet them.
>Have you ever gotten an international internship? Are they hard to get?
Not necessarily international. But internships are in high demand everywhere. That is why it's important to maintain a high GPA, even after you get accepted into your program.
>>16627984
I can't tell if you're serious mate.
>>16627985
Why exactly are you worried? Has he been acting erratic or has he recently lost his job or messed up close relationships with family or friends?
Some people can handle drugs. There are people who are somewhat successful and use everything from weed to lsd and shrooms. Maybe your friend is one of them. Maybe he's not.
How old is he? How long has he been using?
>>16627965
She is single, and what attracts me is that she is in a way like me, she is ambitious and hard working, and i like that in a girl. Also i only have a gap of three hours to see her, she leaves a little after i clock in, and she lives in another city, i actually have talked more to her coworkers, even the new ones I recently met. Idk kinda weird but yeah it's hard to get a 1 on 1
Hey OP, after reading your "A little about me" I'm frankly happy to see you've overcome everything that came at you. You're a true warrior.
This is kind of a silly thing, but I feel I need some advice
>Add a girl on Facebook after a series of cool commentaries we made on a mutual friend's status
>She knows I'm the ex of a girl she knew and she hates, so we start talking. At the beginning she's like "I'm sorry about that bitch" but I'm like "it's okay"
>She starts telling me she has problems with guys too, that no one stands her, that she's thinking about moving to the north because guys up there would like her more
>I tell her straight "You should come to my city, we're very handsome here you know?"
>From there, I feel things get a little more flirty: She calls me "My baby", we talk about how much we believe in horoscopes (I'm aries and she's Scorpio, guess how much fire could rise between these two) says a couple of times how she wish she would be at Barcelona, and even tells me she will come here in February to celebrate her birthday, and that I'm invited
>She also sends me selfies of herself. We started talking yesterday and since there, she has send me 3 pictures of herself
Now, 2 questions:
1-How do I keep a progression on this? I like the girl, and I sort of feel like I should be talking to her everytime, but to tell you the truth that feels kind of forced too. I would like to get to know her better, but she's not around town until february
2-Should I involve our mutual friend here? I have a lot of trust on her, a lot. But she's also best friend of this girl I added, and she's also very lousy. Take that as good, or as bad.
>>16627798
est so 7 minutes to midnight.
I need conversation starters for a girl I haven't talked to in a while but would like to get back into talking with her regularly. any ideas?
>>16628011
>She is single, and what attracts me is that she is in a way like me, she is ambitious and hard working, and i like that in a girl.
There you go. You like her. No doubt about it. This is good though; the first step is to actually be honest to yourself about what you are feeling.
>Also i only have a gap of three hours to see her, she leaves a little after i clock in, and she lives in another city, i actually have talked more to her coworkers, even the new ones I recently met. Idk kinda weird but yeah it's hard to get a 1 on 1
I usually wouldn't recommend this, but if it really is that hard for you to get a hold of her than add her on facebook (if that's an option). Girls I've dated before have asked me out through even after just one meeting. It's only a last resort though, but it's doable and easy for both of you.
>>16628000
I've gotten that before
>>16628012
>Hey OP, after reading your "A little about me" I'm frankly happy to see you've overcome everything that came at you. You're a true warrior.
Thanks m8, I appreciate it.
1>How do I keep a progression on this? I like the girl, and I sort of feel like I should be talking to her everytime, but to tell you the truth that feels kind of forced too. I would like to get to know her better, but she's not around town until february
It's definitely good to not annoy or bug a girl more than you should. It's always the safe to bet on the distant side than the annoying side.
That being said, if you do feel like talking to her or if it's something important like her birthday or something, than you do need to contact her.
If she's into you (which sounds like it), than she will be the one contacting you.
>Should I involve our mutual friend here? I have a lot of trust on her, a lot. But she's also best friend of this girl I added, and she's also very lousy. Take that as good, or as bad.
I really don't understand what you mean by "involving" your mutual friend. Do you mean as in both of you hanging out and partying or something?
What do you mean by her being "lousy" (your friend or your crush?)
Anyway if you are all friends, and you trust her than I don't see a problem in all of you hanging out together. If you need time a lone with the girl you like, than don't be afraid to ask for that.
>>16628022
Ask her about, school, work, the food, the drinks anything. Just relax, take a drink (if that's your thing). And go for it. Don't overthink it. You got this bro. Say happy new year.
Tell her "I haven't seen you in so long, how have you been".
Just throwing some ideas. Good luck..
>>16628000
20 years, cannabis for ~4 years I was there with him and we had a blast. No job, didn't finish high school and now his life has been revolving around drugs for a while. He was in a relationship but it has ended some time ago, I don't know exactly when.
I did lsd with him and it was great, we did shrooms and they were kind of great (I had a pretty depressive trip and didn't really have fun but as an experience it was nice).
I personally don't blame the drugs, but the environment, he's bored with nothing else to do and he doesn't seem to be interested in anything concerning future. Might be suicidal which I'm worried about the most.
I don't want him to kill himself, but I don't want to see him suffer either. Then again I don't want to force him to do anything but I really don't see him getting his shit together by himself.
My own mental health has been/is? on the edge too so I believe I know what's going on but I can't be sure.
Should I talk for him so he can keep his anonymity or something like that?
This situation is really new and weird for me. Am 21 myself, and I think I'm about to get my own shit together, but I feel like I can relate to his situation, even though I haven't done amphetamine (for what I've seen, it's just plain terrible).
He might be in some sort of a psychotic state.
Sry for leaving my first post so empty
>be uni freshman in on-campus apartments
>two apartments in this building, one all-guys and one all-girls
>we don't really hang out with anyone else
>i'm friends with all of them, but there's one girl I'm interested in
>she's really touchy-feely, but moreso with me than the others
>she'll freely sit on my lap if she wants to, whereas with the other guys she'll lean against them at the most
>when she gets drunk she gets much closer to me when we're talking
>friends tell me she's into me and I should make a move
>don't wanna ruin a friendship if they/I am interpreting the signs incorrectly
What do you suggest?
>>16628045
What I meant with "involving her" (my friend, not the crush) was to tell my friend that I like the girl. What I meant with "lousy" was that, this friend really can't keep a secret.
Maybe it could help me if my crush knows I like her?
>if she's into you (wich sounds like it) than shewill be the one contacting you
so I should let her be the one that initiates most of the time? So should I just chill and mind my stuff instead of stressing like "man I need to do something" ?
thanks for your attention! I too suspected she could be into me, but to tell you the truth I have my self esteem a little low, so it's always like "what? she? impossible"
I don't know why, I have no reason to have my self esteem low!
>>16628048
>20 years, cannabis for ~4 years I was there with him and we had a blast. No job, didn't finish high school and now his life has been revolving around drugs for a while. He was in a relationship but it has ended some time ago, I don't know exactly when.
>I personally don't blame the drugs, but the environment, he's bored with nothing else to do and he doesn't seem to be interested in anything concerning future. Might be suicidal which I'm worried about the most.
To be honest, this does sound concerning. You're both so young, and it seems like his life is just not on the right path.
>I don't want him to kill himself, but I don't want to see him suffer either. Then again I don't want to force him to do anything but I really don't see him getting his shit together by himself.
This is the right attitude to have and I applaud you for understanding this. What I would do in your position would be to let him know exactly this. Tell him that you are there for him, but that you respect his choices. Tell him that you are ready to talk to him and help him whenever he feels like he is ready.
>My own mental health has been/is? on the edge too so I believe I know what's going on but I can't be sure.
We tend to sometimes project our own fears and insecurity onto others. Soon after I gave up weed/alcohol I caught my brother high from a weed brownie. I started freaking out thinking that he was going to get all paranoid or something (he took the brownie at my parents house while they were in the house). It turns out he was having the time of his life while I was freaking out more than him.
>He might be in some sort of a psychotic state.
Psychotic states usually manifest themselves in different ways. For example he would start doing weird things if he thinks the government is after him, or he would stop eating thinking that he is dead. That is why I asked whether his behavior has been particularly erratic or not.
>friends with a guy for close to 3 years now
>he confessed to me the first year, I rejected him and we've been friends since
>never see each other in person, only talk online and text, but we "talk" every day and for long periods of time
>at very different stages in our lives (I'm in grad school, have my own place, he's graduating college, has no plans for future)
>he confessed to me again tonight
what do
I rejected him the first time because I'm asexual (and he of course is very not). I'm still asexual. I "like" him, but I'll never see him or any other guy (or girl) in a sexually romantic kind of way. I don't think it's fair to be with someone when my sexuality is so fucked up--but even if it wasn't, I don't see it headed anywhere? We're in different cities, he's thinking of going to Japan to teach for a year, and once I finish my PhD I'll be going wherever my career needs me to go. It's not "feasible."
But on the other hand, he's my best friend, and I'd be super upset to lose him. I feel bad "friendzoning" him as much as I hate the term, but he's known this about me since we met, I don't feel like its a surprise? But I don't know what to do.
We're also both 20+ year old socially awkward virgins.
>>16628029
I guess i do like her, and no she has no facebook, and im not sure if she has other social media outlets but i don't want to be crappy and follow her or something, im 23 she is 22
>>16628055
From what you have told me I really don't think it's necessary to involve your friend. Not trying to sound like a jerk but at some point you have to learn to man up and tell the girl yourself that you like her.
Think about the future when you are in a job and you like a coworker (let's say you're both 25 or something) are you going to play elementary school games like that then? Is that the story you want to tell people about how you two met?
Learn to be confident and girls will take note of that too.
I know what's like to have low self esteem and think that no girl could possibly like you, but believe in yourself (I know that's a cheesy cliche but oh well) and girls will love that.
Definitely don't initiate every conversation with her. When you do message her (and when you meet her in real life) make it clear that you are interested. It sounds like you are doing a good job of it already if you say that the tone of your conversations is flirty.
>>16628067
Have you told him that you're asexual?
If you're confident that the relationship is not going to work, then he needs to understand that. You can't make a relationship work if only one person is actually interested.
Sexuality is a big part of romantic relationships. If you have absolutely no sexual feelings towards him than a romantic relationship between you and him is not going to work.
Again, he needs to understand and agree with your decision.
>>16628069
Then it seems like your only option is to find a good time to talk to her. Even if it's a simple "good morning" when you start working or something. Make your presence known and with time it should make it at least a little bit less awkward when you muster up the courage to ask her out.
You got this bro. Good luck.
happy new year /adv/
one of the things i love is talking to people, and i can't as often as i'd like to. so, shoutout to the people from /adv/ who kept me company. The accordion player who wanted to learn Amelie. The ones who wanted advice, i tried my best. The femanon who listened to me play piano. Thank you all. <3 you all
>>16628079
happy new year!!!!!!!!! love you too!
>>16628077
We've talked about my sexuality often over the years, both jokingly and seriously. I don't know how much clearer I can be when it comes to the whole "I have no sexual desire" thing, aside from saying those exact words (which I have). But in my experience, guys (and girl friends/family) tend to see "asexual" as "haven't met the right guy."
I'm just so torn. I don't want to lose my best friend.
>>16628081
:)
hope you and other anons are feeling good tonight, i'm feeling a lot better since i got on
>>16628077
Thanks man, i'll see how it turns out
>>16628087
>I'm just so torn. I don't want to lose my best friend.
And you shouldn't. If he really is your best friend, then again; he should understand.
Explain to him that you are not sexually attracted to anyone and that his friendship matters a lot to you. Remind him that he is your best friend.
You couldn't possibly make it more clear.
That being said, in my particular case, friendships with people even with even a hint of current or former romantic attraction do not work. Things are just too awkward and something just gets lost after someone involves romantic feelings. That's why a lot of times people who are exes just can't go back to being friends and may even avoid each other.
I saw this throughout high school, college, work, you name it. It just doesn't work a lot times.
>>16628091
Feeling good for sure. I didn't think so many people would be on tonight.
>>16628062
>You're both so young, and it seems like his life is just not on the right path.
Pretty much this, but what is the right path anyway amirite
> What I would do in your position would be to let him know exactly this
I think I've done that. I asked if he wanted to talk about this with his ex or brother etc but he said no. I might even be the only one who he talks to about this, though I can't be sure ofc. I'm just not sure if I'm able to handle this without any outside help. I really want him to tell his parents etc, but like I said I don't want to force it. I think he's somewhat ashamed of his situation, but obviously I might be wrong again.
I never thought about projecting our own fears and such, but it makes sense. I smoked weed with my uncle and his gf I had never met before at our grandparents's quite literally under my mothers nose. She's not against weed, but at the time I was certain that in the morning there will be chaos (grandparents had an anniversary party). It turned out ok but it was really weird.
I'll quote him
>btw I was in somekind of a psychotic state the other day
>can't remember if it was the day before yesterday, probably
He had gone to sleep and then woke up to his ex there tucking him in bed (I really have no idea what they have between them right now, I moved out of town during summer). Apparently he had gone outside to meet her for a smoke etc and he hadn't even recognized her so she walked him home. My friend has no memory of anything like this happening. He blames the benzos but felt "unreal".
He kind of blames his dealer, but not really. I know the guy, should I talk to him?
I straight up asked what he's going to do about this and he said "nothing :D" followed by, what should I? idunno
I'm probably going to ask a doctor about this without telling anyone, but I don't know, this is just too weird
>>16628087
>>16628100
it sounds like it should be clear to him that you aren't attracted to anyone
but falloutanon's bit of analysis applied to me too, it happened to me. except she didnt make it clear, i thought she could have been attracted to me too. we never discussed it until i asked her and she said no and why. I'm not a good person and i definitely regret it, but i, completely unintentionally, stopped being her friend
>>16628120
>>16628100
Thanks for the advice guys. I've probably lost him, we're sitting at an awkward-internet-silence right now across skype. But I've told him basically what I said here, so there's no more false hope left lingering hopefully.
Happy new years.
>>16628138
happy new years anon
hope the best for you
>>16627798
female friend/former fuckbuddy contacted me a week ago about hanging out in January. we're still pretty good friends, just don't hang out much due to going to different universities.
should I try to smash or just coast on our platonic level?
>>16628157
what'd she contact you saying, anon?
>>16628170
>hey, Jan 19th, let's hang out
>>16628173
any details? could be anything
>>16628186
that's all i got, i agreed to hang out, but i don't really know what she has planned
>>16628187
play it by ear i guess see if she gives any cues who knows
>>16628157
OP here, sorry was celebrating midnight here.
anyway, I agree with:
>>16628195
you seem to have a good attitude. If she wants to fuck then go for it if not, then it's fine as well. It could be either thing it's hard to tell and you can't really find out until your face to face with her.
>>16628259
>>16628259
>>16628259
this
and happy new year op
>>16627798
Any advice for someone applying to med school this cycle? Like tips for getting an interview/interviewing? I know you're in grad school but some tips overlap, no?
>>16628269
Honestly I don't know a lot about the interview process for grad school.
All I can say is that I hope you have a high gpa (3.75 or above) and good MCAT scores. (this is obvious).
Maybe round it up with some good "leadership roles" that you can talk about during the interview. If you did research at anytime during your undergrad make sure to really emphasize that and maybe even exaggerate it if possible.
For example if you had a monotonous job cleaning up a lab or something, make it sound important but not too unrealistic like: I was in charge of a good, safe laboratory setting to conduct research in.
Make sure to mention any big school projects or presentations you were involved in. Again, make them seem more important than they actually were without it sounding too goofy.
Interviewers sometimes love to ask questions like "what are your weaknesses?" "what are your strengths?", I don't if Med school does that, but be prepared just in case.
>>16628267
happy new year!!! all the best!!
>>16628295
all the best! <3 you all
>>16628291
In terms of general interviewing, any special tips?
My stats are pretty good otherwise. Also did alot of lab work (paper after freshman year and a first authorship coming soon). I could use more volunteering/leadership bullshit though.
BTW thanks for the reply man.
I get that if i just invested less these things wouldn't upset me and thus we would not have these fights. But I can't bring any shit that upsets me up or he'll just be a fuckin baby about it.
Is he just being a shit? I swear hes the sweetest ever when he wants to be but so fuckin lazy and If i complain he starts a fight.
>>16628757
my post got cut off lol.
but yeah this guy is lazy and we have issues i can't talk to him about if i don't want a dumb argument. But other than the small issues (lack of attention when im not with him, he's lazy and doesn't clean up after himself, he says mean shit or doesnt think about shit he says sometimes) apparently the relationship is "everything he could want" and I do miss him, he makes me happy. Is it worth this shit? I wish we could just solve our problems with maturity. If I ask my friends or family about what I should do they all say to break it off. Ive been holding on though.
Doubt it but is OP still here? Because I think we're a lot alike.
My ldr boyfriend is flying in next week for 3 days to meet me and im panicing. I have no idea what to do or what to talk about with him. We usually talk on skype everyday for hours but meeting in person really gives me anxiety.
What do
>>16627798
Free advice? What a deal! You can't get that anywhere else on /adv/!
>>16628757
>>16628766
In my experience a relationship should never be a hindrance on your life. If he is being outright mean to you and disrespectful then you should really consider whether this relationship is worth it. I hate to agree with your family and friends, but I would give him an ultimatum; either he should change his ways or you are going your separate ways. Be civil but firm, and you should not be afraid to break things off. I know it's hard, but there are people out there who will not be like that towards you.
>>16628869
It may be tough, but just don't overthink it. If you guys already have great conversations over skype then this should be no different. Just talk about how his flight went, maybe comment on his appearance anything really. You should be happy most of all, he's your boyfriend and your finally seeing him.
>>16628887
I'm gonna start charging you for your sarcasm!
>>16627798
the girl i love and who showed me her affection through words and actions told me that she "isn't ready for a new relationship" because
she wouldn't "get over the guilt she'd feel if she gave us a chance and not her ex"
the
fuck
>>16629819
It's not worth it man. In high school a girl kept telling me that exact phrase "I'm not ready for a relationship".
This is a girls way to let you off easy. She's trying to be nice about it, but unfortunately she's just not interested.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news mate, but life is hard like that.
Keep your chin up though, plenty of beautiful women out there.
>>16629842
then why did she write me a love letter after our first date, kept on telling me how much she liked me for months and gave me a christmas card saying "you're really special for me"
>>16629893
hmmmm that is really confusing. The only person that can really answer that question is her.
Give her sometime and then go for it again. Tell her how you feel about her and if she makes that argument again you should ask her exactly what you just asked me.
As long as she's not too immature she should be straightforward with you and not play games like that. You're a great guy and if she said all these things to you, the least you deserve is a straightforward answer.
>>16629923
i guess so
she told me she wanted to write me a letter in which she describes why she did what she did, albeit the letter just for herself.
>>16630654
advice pls
how do i lose 20 pounds if im too weak to exercise
>>16630816
change your diet. it's possible.
Cut out soda, alcohol, ice cream and mayonnaise. You could also cut out things like bread.
