I'm dating a single mom (I know, I know), and I'm curious what people think of this. Two children, with two different Fathers. One is on child support, the other isn't. The one that is couldn't care less, the one that is care the world for the kid. I want him to be on child support as well because 1. I *think* it would protect me should things get ugly, and a court determines I'm a fatherly figure and have to pay child support cause the child sees me as a father figure (can't cause the father is in the picture, right?). 2. If we were to get married, we could actually budget, and not just hope some random amount of money comes in. For Christmas the dude gave us $2k, and he makes far less than I do. Thoughts?
>>16626117
Bail bail bail bail bail bail bail.
Two kids from two fathers... That's a pretty red flag desu. And i'm a single mom myselfe.
What exactly is your question?
>>16626136
I'm scared, and want out. I'm babysitting right now and don't want to (she's at work, and I work from home). I just spent a lot of money on Christmas presents, and I just want to go to my house (the one I pay rent at), and go to sleep. Just a human asking another human for help, but this woman is so kind to me, and the sex is amazing, and all she talks about is family and getting married, and how great I am...
>>16626156
How long have you been together?
>>16626117
>I want him to be on child support as well because 1. I *think* it would protect me should things get ugly, and a court determines I'm a fatherly figure and have to pay child support cause the child sees me as a father figure
So to save yourself from the system, that you know damned well is fucked up, you'll throw some other sap into it?
Kinda shitty OP.
Whenever child support is paid, the system gets stronger. The same system that tells men the have no right to be a father to their own damned kids, but they still gotta pay and have the responsibilities.
Why the fuck you wanna support that, OP?
Seriously, is the single mom you're dating the best damned woman ever (because if that's the case, why are the previous 2 daddies not with her)? Or does just just give really good head?
Is it worth it?
Shit, you're worried she'll be on your ass for child support if things go sour, so why are you still with her? You don't trust her, she's pretty much got a loaded gun to your head...
Jesus christ, take some /adv/ from the King and be all like "We can't go on together, with suspicious minds" and then split.
>>16626156
DON´T GET MARRIED! IT. IS. A. TRAP!
>Two children, with two different Fathers
oh wow
>>16626160
The thought of being alone again makes me sick. She has her own house, car, and I'll have to go back to living in my shit apartment, wishing I could lounge by our pool. Being alone sucks, and it's the new years too.
>>16626203
>>16626203
And you'd rather be with someone you don't trust and is in a position to screw you over?
Company can be found with other people, if you really have no one else to go and you're THAT desperate... Stick for holidays and dart away once it becomes viable.
>>16626117
>two children
>two different fathers
R U N
U
N
OP here, just e-mailed her at work explaining how unhappy I am, and how this is all work. She's super religious, I could care less about religion, she's 29 wants to start a family, and I'm 25 just getting my career off the ground. I'm currently packing my things as we speak (only a few bags) with music blaring. Her kid is running around, asking to go to the park with me. :(
>>16626315
So you're going to ruin her day at work and just bounce without even talking things over or discussing things with the kids? You're as bad as the others. This girl apparently just has shit taste in men that's why she's in this situation
>>16626315
Good on you OP.
Dark time ahead, but light beyond.
Godspeed, stay strong.
>>16626321
single mom fucking detected
stop posting and get the fuck out
>>16626321
So you want him to ruin his own life so that he doesn't ruin her day? Fuck off.
>>16626315
Not the greatest way to go about it, but it's a step in the right direction. Don't be evasive about it, let your thoughts be known. Keep a calm tone, even if she blows up on you.
>>16626321
>So you're going to ruin her day at work
His day is being ruined as we speak, so that's okay?
> without even talking things over or discussing things with the kids?
What, so she can convince him to stay in that trap? Did you not read? The OP is nuts for this lady, she could promise him the moon and he'd buy it
>>16626199
Pff. That's nothing. A girl I went to college with had four from four different fathers. Two of them are living with their grandmother, and on top of that she wanted more kids.
But yeah. OP, I would seriously consider bailing without question.
>>16626328
I never want to have kids. But leaving that way is extremely immature and will damage the children if they're attached. You can leave the relationship and be happy without hurting them. They haven't done anything wrong
>>16626357
Holy shit
OP here, not just gonna bail and leave a toddler to fend for itself alone in a house. Everything is in bags on the couch, and she gets off in two hours. Now what? What do I do?
OP here, what if this *is* the right relationship, and she never does these things, and I'm throwing away the best thing I've ever had? The kids are adorable, and we have fun, though we do have our ups and downs (like her refusing to not smoke with me in the car, and she knows I hate it).
>>16626386
> I'm throwing away the best thing I've ever had?
just because its the best you ever had doesnt mean it isnt shit
you said so yourself, you are unhappy and stressed, you are questioning yourself because break ups are fucking hard, this is 100% normal
the situation will not improve, bail.
>>16626361
Her children are already damaged from having a mom like that.
>>16626386
What if its not? What if you end up paying child support for a kid that isnt even yours?
OP here, she just replied to my e-mail.
>If that is how you feel…
>I would like to work through it. I didn’t think you would last long with the kids and now it’s like you’re a dad. I know you’re not religious now, but I never met anyone or heard of anyone who regretted knowing God. That’s why I bought you that book. I think it may help you a bit. I’ve asked you before if you believed there was a God and you said yes… Your relationship with God might take your entire life, but that’s between you and Him.
>Do you think we should break up sooner than later? I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have got in a relationship as fast as I did
OP here, just asked the kid if she missed her Daddy. She says:
>No, I want you to meet him! We can go play at his house and I can show you all my toys!
I need to get out now.
>>16626454
>now it’s like you’re a dad.
lol op get out of there
It's not healthy bro, if you want to white knight the whole thing then go ahead, but unless its your spawn there's not much reason to get involved.
>>16626117
ITT: people without children giving advice about children.
She's on her way home in 20min. :/
Op here. Did it. I'm in her drive way and I'm debating now to drive away, waiting for the tears to dry before I go.
>>16627287
Why ask advice from 4chan? Don't you have friends?
I'm at home, but I am not happy. I was starting a family, and it was glorious. Gonna grab some beer and play some Fallout. Good night all, and happy new years I guess.
>>16627376
You will thank us later :3
