Hi /adv/, my older sister started dating this guy, let's call him A about a year ago. In that year she has almost been killed by him twice, threatened with a knife, hit with a 2x4, had her car smashed, iPhone smashed, had A break into her house via kicking the door down and been strangled with an extension cord, been thrown through a wall, had to jump out of a 2nd story window to escape a beating; all A's doing, plus a lot of stuff I probably don't know about. A is not rich or smart or nice, he is a bipolar drug addict who lives with his parents at age 30 and has kids so I don't understand how she can still 'love' a guy who did all this to her. The first act of violence he committed against her was when she had to jump out of the window as he was threatening to kill her, she came to my parent's covered in bruises and bleeding from the ears and mouth, this was about 6 months ago, ever since then she has sworn she'd go to the police and never has, she lies to me and my mother constantly saying she's not seeing him and will then go and see him, my mother thinks she has a drug addiction which is why she sees him still but I don't know. None of this makes sense to me and enrages me to no end, if I ever saw the guy I would break every bone in his body and get his ass thrown in jail but I can't file a report if she won't back me up, which she never will. I can't lay a finger on him because she'll never talk to me again. I can't do anything and I'm so sick of her stressing out my mother. What's even worse is my mother was in an abusive relationship with my addict dad (we've got different dads) and my sister for whatever reason wanted the same thing. I don't get it and really need help on how to fix this before this dude kills my sister.
>>16625655
you chicken shit bastard, do something for fucks sake ANYTHING, SOMETHING
Suck his dick so he'll stop seeing your sister.
Honestly I'd kill him. No no one has to know who it was, just wear a fucking mask or something. Either that or threaten him with death if he says with your sister.
There's nothing you can do. Your sister is a big girl and she is willfully choosing to put herself in danger.
She definitely has an addiction for sure so she is even more compelled to see him to get the drugs.
>>16625674
I don't know what to do, she lied to me a million times saying she'd see the police and I can't call them. Her car that she loved is destroyed because of this asshole and she pays for taxis across the city to see him, he got locked in a mental institution by his own mother and she still was seeing him, the only solution I can think of is either killing him or locking her in a room until she comes to her senses. I need help. Give me some ideas, guys, she's a grown adult there's only so much control I have.
Call the cops for domestic violence.
>>16625698
Useless without his sisters testimony.
>>16625686
>Give me some ideas, guys, she's a grown adult there's only so much control I have.
That's a shame youngfag, how old are you?
yeah there's nothing older siblings hate more than a younger sibling telling them they're wrong about something
>>16625698
I said in the post that I can't because my sister won't back me up. I'm pretty sure they can't do anything if my sister denies it but I may be wrong.
Should I go and see him and provoke him to attack me so I can call the cops and get him locked up for assaulting me so my sister won't be mad at me for attacking him?
>>16625711
I turned 18 recently. She's 27.
Why for gods sake havent you made him a cripple yet is beyond me.
>>16625655
It's family.
You're going to have to beat the shit out of him personally .
OP have some pride, and I'm not even joking just fight him. Sounds to me like your scared cause he's bigger well fuck that bring a bat and set him straight
>>16625655
Call the cops. Not joking. Call the fucking cops, tell them you're afraid for your sister's life.
>>16625655
Im brazilian and this guy would have to pick up his body parts to put himself back together if you know what i mean *wink*
I can tell you right now that short of defending her from a direct attack by this loser violence is not going to solve the problem however appealing it might be to us. Your sister is the latest in a repeating family pattern of women drawn to abusive men. Some women come to see these patterns of violence and drama as a normal part of a relationship. Abusers are like alcoholics. They abuse then get sorry and remorseful. Always apologizing, always swearing that it will never happen again and for a while it doesn’t.
Now here is the hardest part for us to understand. In some cases, not all mind you but some, the abused woman loves him at least in part because of the abuse. It is very difficult to understand why a woman would seek out these relations again and again but it does happen.
This problem is too big for you to solve because in order for it to be solved your sister must get some profound psychological treatment. She must break out of this destructive cycle and she is going to need help doing so. In addition if there is substance abuse going on, and I suspect there is, that adds a whole other layer of pathology to her situation.
Until she wants help and is ready to accept it there is little you or anybody else can do for her. You need to make sure that you do not get drawn into a web of violence. I am not going to tell you to go over there and give him a beatdown the next time he lays a finger on your sister. He might have a gun. He could even have YOU arrested. However, what you could do is just call the police the next time she shows up with bruises on her body. Call them and she may not even need to cooperate. She will be angry but even if that guy doesn’t go to jail this time he will have a wake up call and will be on their radar.
Good luck. You are a good brother and a brave young man.
Call the police!!
Personally I'd kick the shit out of him, you should pick the high roard though. Report this shitstain to the cops.
>>16625849
As an addemdum to this, there is a principle of psychology behind the "intermittent reward". it's the root behind gambling addiction and can be part of the (often many) reasons behind why people stay with abusive partners.
To illustrate this with rats: when a rat is put in an enclosure where pressing a lever does nothing, they will ignore it. If pressing the lever gives them food every time, they will do it regularly enough to confirm it, then come back to the lever as needed and spend their time doing other things.
When the lever only provides food occasionally, however, the rats pour significantly more energy into pressing the lever to receive a reward.
Intermittent reward has a much more potent effect. The evolutionary root of this lies in the incosistency of nature, you can't always get food, water, sex, but you have to keep striving for it or else you die/don't reproduce. The ones who could strive for a reward that was not guaranteed survived.
While a highly beneficial system, it has its downfalls, and can lead to harmful behaviors in certain circumstances.
Have you compiled evidence against him?
Have you seen this stuff first hand or just heard from her?
Op you're 18, he is a 30 years old druggie. If I were you I would look for some of my mates and beat the shit out of him.
If the continues abusing your sister, then make him beat you. Call the police and thats it. Also, take a photo of your sisters bruises, straches and any other injury, those may be useful later.
Short of identifying her corpse when he inevitably kills her, there is little you can do.
Considering his parents had him tossed in a mental institution of some sort, you should speak with them. Follow that up with an intervention for her abusive relationship, drugs, etc... You need to involve your parents as well.
Stop being selfish. If she threatens to no longer talk to you, due to your actions, do what is best for her.
>>16627803
this is some solid advice in bringing both familias into it.
>>16625655
1) Why does your sister have daddy issues?
2) Why does your sister have a secret drug addiction?
3) Why is your sister such human trash for not already fleeing to a women's shelter or the police?
>>16627803
Sounds like a solid plan, this way you might save your relationship with your sister and still get this looner away from her.
Get help. She will keep wanting to protect him (because sort of motherly feelings), and believes this was the last time he did it. She is too deep in to realize the severity, and probably also scared of seeking help. Do it for her, she will hate you for it in the beginning, but she needs it.
I could have sworn you were talking about my older sister, but i know its not you rebecca
My oldest sister whom i have not named was in quite litteretly the same place
She is too stupid in order to help herself
Well the truth is she even snapped out of it herself which you see women are not really capable of doing that easilly cus they have no common sense
There's only one way she will move out and that if she can trade up to a better guy in a new place
That's how my sister did it recently
Other than that they are two options either one just filed to the police a long report compiled of whatever evidence you have aka you your family pictures on facebook what not and then let them do their work regardless of what your sister will say
Or beat the s*** out of the guy, but the problem with this is that beating the s*** out of him doesn't mean that she still won't hang around, you get
She is a stipid bitch and completely deserves that. Your mom also doesn't deserve you to be worried about her and her daughter. Move as far away from them as possible as soon as you get the chance and never come back. Find a nice gf, marry her, make a couple of kids and never leave them. Don't drink or do drugs, ever.
>>16625655
ive been there done that with my sister. all you can do is be there for her and ring the cops when he does beat her. she has to see him for the complete dipshit waste of space he really is... trust me on this, if you go and go full alpha on him there is no garantee that he wont
a) take it out on your sister again
b) beat the shit out of you and her
c) all the above and have you charged. because thats assualt. but as soon as you hit him back then its classed as self defense
