Should I just be myself or should I censor myself around women?

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Anonymous
Should I just be myself or should I censor myself around women? 2015-12-31 09:19:25 Post No. 16625568
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Should I just be myself or should I censor myself around women? Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:19:25 Post No. 16625568 [Report]

I'm 19, and yes I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I want to ask this before I head off to college in a bit.

First girlfriend I had at 16, we got along well. She always reciprocated well to my sarcasm. We broke up because we just didn't have enough in common.
Was seeing a girl for about 6 months, she kept telling me she liked me, but said she didn't have a lot of time for a relationship with sports, work, strict parents and school. I eventually broke it off, telling her that if she felt strongly enough, she would have figured out a way to make the time. No hard feelings, but it's not worth trying to fit into her schedule. Censored myself around her quite a bit, afraid she'd dislike me for my true attitude.

Now after taking a year off, I'm gonna head into college soon with some buddies. One of them said a handful of girls asked about me when I was visiting once. I'm being told I'll probably be taken up quickly by someone. Thing is, I'm worried.

>I've always had a dark and cruel sense of humor. I can be funny without the cruelty, but I feel so restricted. Noticed most women don't take it so well. That's always been my issue with women in high school, is I've even heard from girls that I'm cute, but an asshole. A female friend of mine told me I had a warm heart wrapped in cold steel, saying that once you get past my cruel humor and almost constant sarcasm, that I'm a great guy. I've thought about this a lot. The humor goes well with guys, but not with women.

>I'm worried I'll find a girl, but fall back into that censorship, and then hate myself for never being completely myself around her, and then never feel that I can be. Should I just keep being sarcastic, pseudo-racist, cold humored me, even around women, or should I try to tone myself down around them and actually have a chance at a relationship?

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:22:01 Post No.16625579
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:22:01 Post No.16625579 [Report]

>I've even heard from girls that I'm cute, but an asshole
Contrary to what you read around here, women don't want to date assholes. How about you improve yourself so you're not an asshole?

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:26:45 Post No.16625591
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:26:45 Post No.16625591 [Report]

Thing is I'm nice to people, but people think I'm an asshole BECAUSE I joke about horrible things. I'd never try to hurt someone genuinely.

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:44:43 Post No.16625646
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 09:44:43 Post No.16625646 [Report]

I personally try to live by the Patrice O'neal doctrine of living honestly and putting my own happiness first. But at the same time consider whether the people you are talking to are getting your humor. If not, then there's no point in saying the joke out loud. Just think it in your head, chuckle inwardly and move on.

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 10:03:32 Post No.16625699
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 10:03:32 Post No.16625699 [Report]

>>16625591
Well then, stop doing things that make people think you're an asshole.

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 13:25:25 Post No.16625728
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 13:25:25 Post No.16625728 [Report]

>>16625591
you probably have nothing to change dude
if youre basing anything off of highschool, just stop. everyone in high school is a fuking moron including you

dont betray yourself for others. be yourself. there are tons and tons of women who have fucked up dark senses of humor and are also people you might want to date or spend your life with

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 13:43:08 Post No.16625767
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 13:43:08 Post No.16625767 [Report]

Be yourself.
Would you really want to be with a girl who isn't smart enough to understand the difference between being sarcastic and being an asshole?
If you try your best to never hurt people and you're kind to others, no one should care about what you joke about.

I like guys like you, a lot. Many other girls do. Don't worry too much.

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 13:50:09 Post No.16625781
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 13:50:09 Post No.16625781 [Report]

>>16625579
If you wanna get some pussy stop being an asshole duhh

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 14:10:14 Post No.16625818
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 14:10:14 Post No.16625818 [Report]

>>16625568
Be yourself.

Don't be surprised if that gets you a kick in the balls rather than laid, mind.

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 14:22:03 Post No.16625843
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 14:22:03 Post No.16625843 [Report]

Make yourself what you think you want to be, and should be.

The ideal is that both parties can act for the most part genuinely, and thus be capable of net comfort with themselves and a partner. Learn how to be decent for your own sake.

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Anonymous 2015-12-31 17:03:07 Post No.16626207
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Anonymous 2015-12-31 17:03:07 Post No.16626207 [Report]

Well, I'm incredibly sarcastic too, OP. You have to know how you are in the situations. Are you actually an asshole, are you actually funny or are you just an "edge lord"? A "dark" sense of humor is universal. It's how you deliver the joke, timing, etc that can make it or break it. But if you're just an "edge lord", you're not funny.