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Anonymous
dying, maybe
2015-12-30 23:34:18 Post No. 16623498
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dying, maybe
Anonymous
2015-12-30 23:34:18
Post No. 16623498
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So I have hepatitis C and I've been mostly symptom free until recently. Recently I've had a pain in my side where my liver is and have felt really tired (like really, really tired) and foggy headed as fuck.
Beyond the hep C my liver is pretty shit. I have fatty liver disease and heightened enzymes. Years of chronic drug and alcohol abuse have taken its toll.
Anyway, now I'm a bit freaked out. I'm not really religious, so I realize that after I die i'll either burn in hell for being a heretic or the picture will just cut to "black" for all eternity. I don't expect to experience peace, because I won't be here to experience anything, because there won't be a "me".
This maybe dying thing is really fucking with my head. I always thought I'd be ready to die, and secretly wished I'd get butt cancer or something, but now I'm just fucking scared.
And even if it's not my liver that kills me, something else will. And that'll be it. The unforgiving emptiness after I die scares the shit out of me. There's no control.
pic related, was me before, like i was a badass and not scared of death, then i got scared