I've been with this girl for a few months, and it turns out she's really into being dominated in bed. No heavy stuff though. Problem is I'm a huge pussy, and I've had no sexual experiences before her, so I really have no idea what to do. All I've done so far is been a little rough with her, like holding her down while fucking her and grabbing her hair to have her head in control. I've also tied her arms up once, but I really had no idea what to do after that, so it wasn't very exciting. She's also expressed a desire to be punished, but I have no idea how I'd go about doing that in bed.
Prepare yourself to be cheated on
And what you want advice on is?
>>16623125
This basically. Got close to a girl in college who confided she was a sub. She was dating somebody when we hooked up. Found out I was sharing her with like 5 other guys. Scrubbed my dick raw. And again, hooked up with another sub, found out she was dating somebody too. My cousin drunkenly admitted she was a sub when we went out drinking one time, then she went home with some random guy while I was in the bathroom, it was kind of awkward going back to her place where her boyfriend started asking questions of me and I kind of had to tell him he was dating a slut.
>>16623139
And what you want advice on is?I need some ideas on what I could actually do that she'd like in the bedroom. Because I'm drawing a blank.
>>16623125
>>16623153
I realize that's a possibility, but at least for now I'm really certain she'd never do that. Besides, we're together way too much for her to even have the chance.
>>16623232
>And what you want advice on is?
That shouldn't have been in my message. Shitty app.
>>16623232
Well don't go getting attached is all I'm saying dude.
>>16623117
I'm a dom and have converted a few girls into being a sub
What you've been doing is a good start point
Then advance it to slapping / rape roleplay (where she struggles)
Get some soft rope and learn some ties (practice on her when you're both clothed so you're not all over the place during the real thing)
Get a blindfold too
Forced oral
A horse riding crop is also a good item
Cable ties are cool (not too tight, talk about the NEED for her to let you know if her hands start to tingle and keep a scissors close by)
Collar and lead
Writing on her
Mouth gags
The list is endless
Things like this quickly progress though... Even I was a little creeped out when my ex suggested she played dead whilst I fucked her
First thing: talk to her, be straight with her. Clearly, she figures you've got Dom-ish qualities, or she would have never started with you in the first place. Get all your bullshit hangups out of the way. Get all of her bullshit hangups out of the way. If you're both GGG, you two will be in a good spot.
Second, accept the fact that any effort to go from, "I'm not sure I'm doing this right," to the non-dice rolling type of Dungeon Master isn't going to be a short trip. You have you build up your confidence. More importantly, you gotta build up her trust. Start small. Try walking through the mall with one of her arms folded behind her back. Smile when you tell her you're going to do somehing "interesting" with her when you get home. Tease her a little bit, get her mind whirring, whispers and suggestions as foreplay. Never ignore the mental element.
Third, FFS educate yourself on a constant basis. By all means, experiment, but be smart about your experimentation process. Fucking up an experiment in sexy times will be only embarrassing in the best case scenario. You and your sub don't want to go out like Michael Hutchence or David Carradine. Again, start small, once you're both comfortable, work your way up.
>>16623552
I really don't though, it's just her being sub and wanting me to.
Go to a sex store near you. Most will have a babby's first bondage kit. That should give you two something to play with together.
>>16623117
I'm the same.
I've slept with loads of women, at least 30, and been in 3 serious long-term relationships.
But still, whenever a girl wants me to act like this I just don't get it. It feels ridiculous. So fucking awkward and cringeworthy. I have no idea what to do, what do you want me to literally beat the shit out of you?
For me it's a big red flag if a girl is into this sort of thing. I just tell her straight, I'm really not into it and that's that. She can either adapt or move on.
It's like when you get a text "Tell me what you're going to do to me tonight" or something similar. "No problem, I plan on putting my penis in your mouth and/or your vagina..."
>>16623125
>>16623139
> into SM = cheater
What the fuck?
>>16623125
Why?
Ask her what she wants. You can't read her mind. S&M is a very broad subject that covers a lot of activities and if you try things randomly then you can randomly hurt her. Discuss fetishes together, brainstorm on roleplay scenarios and decide on a safeword. You cannot be wrong by asking her what she wants. If she is unhappy because you ask her what she wants then you aren't doing something wrong, she is the one being immature.
>>16623871
>>16623881
Come on... Don't make us spell it out.
>>16623776
Wow you must be really boring and a shitty lay lmao
>>16623871
I'm submissive, and when I was dating a fellow submissive guy I was very tempted to cheat on him with the first dominant guy that came along, I probably would have if we had continued to stay together
you just can't be sexually incompatible
however I am now engaged to a guy who gives me what I want in bed (he doesn't even know what S&M is, he's just naturally dominant) and the thought of cheating on him makes me want to cry. I think if a 'dom' guy got all aggressive with me it would make me angry, not turn me on.
It's all about how much you respect your partner. My now-ex...I really just didn't respect him (yet I was in denial about this), partly because his lack of dominance. As vapid as this might sound, he wasn't a real man to me. He didn't make me feel like a woman- delicate, powerless, feminine.
If you're not into the dom shit OP, don't try and fake it because you can't, and she will leave you for someone who fulfills her. Plus if you don't enjoy it, then that's not being fair/honest to yourself. Or her.
>>16624246
>If you're not into the dom shit OP, don't try and fake it because you can't, and she will leave you for someone who fulfills her
This
Women are parasites that are very selective of their hosts
>>16623871
You're responding to a tripfag who has a long history of being retarded.
>>16625044
ad hominem and 5 people agreed with me
BDSM slut detected?
>>16623253
>read this
>got wet
>gonna go get the hubs to dom the hell outta me
>>16623871
It's the truth. I dated a chick who was a sub and I fucked the shit out of her, tied her up, did everything she wanted, she found someone older and more experienced and dumped my ass. I've noticed most younger girl subs love older men, why is this?
>>16623253
How do you introduce girls into this? My ex has tainted me and vanilla sex just isn't as good.
>>16625080
Because older men know what they want, they're less insecure about who they are and how to act, and generally much more experienced and better in bed. Easy question, really
>>16625092
Well at least it was an easy question and not a stupid one, forgive me for being naive about why she left. Ha.
>>16625098
Women are honorless whores and will trade up at any moment
Don't let them fool you
>>16625163
Agreed but if you can manage and train one to be loyal you win. The hard part is being awesome enough to them that they dont want anyone else. Youve got to put in work if you want faith.also depends on the girl too... Idk i guess i just got a good one
>>16625044
The best way to get a tripfag to leave is just ignore then and not give then the attention that they desperately crave.
>>16625088
As with most things in a relationship, you've got to tailor it
Someone who's relatively inexperienced at sex, you may just talk about introducing new things into the bedroom, and just casually mention handcuffs (if she's not into them, it's almost definitely a no to everything else). Once handcuffs are introduced it's relatively easy to escalate it from there as you've already established the control bias.
If she's not sexually inexperienced but doesn't seem to have had much sub-play experience, going out and just buying handcuffs and a blindfold has worked just fine for me.
Also, my current gf wasn't into it initially (perhaps I jumped the gun and mentioned it shortly after we first had sex haha) but grew to want to try it when she realised how I was around my mates... Pretty dominating, in the sense that I'm often looked to for making decisions.
Oh, and females will talk to their friends about these things... Every time. Reactions from female friends vary from both ends... "That's very weird" to "that's hot - I wish my bf was into that"
Expect drunken comments from them like "oh, so you're the one that ties up Anonette?" Basically they're the ones who love the idea and need to talk about it to someone with experience
It's good fun though... But just be sure to have 'normal' sex more often than you have sub-play sex. I think that's where I went wrong with my ex... Tying her up and hitting her around five times a week takes it toll on the relationship outside of the bedroom too
