>>16623064
Time to get a part time job and start putting away money for a car. You need money, anyway. How would you afford dating someone if you're broke?

>>16623064
College clubs and events?

You know you can make friends and stuff when you're actually at college, right? As in, in class and stuff

>>16623064
How do i get something I feel I'm entitled to, for no work at all? /thread

>>16623068
I have an on campus job and a lot of savings due to living at home. Like, I could easily sustain taking someone out on dates, occasional gifts, etc. But my concern isn't only the practicality, rather, what someone else might think of me/be able to tolerate as a trait of myself.

I'm just doubting many women would be interested in dating someone living at home even though I consider myself a pretty likeable guy and I'm at least of average attractiveness.

>>16623070
I've considered stuff like that, but I'm kind of a nerd/weeb who dislikes other nerds/weebs so it's hard for me to find an event that I can both enjoy and network in properly.

>>16623073

this. people who go out dont make friends there. they mamke friends at college and work and then bring them out. its rare to go to a bar and make friends. not a cohesive way to work people into your life as they tend to be on a different schedule than you.

going out is just a way to expand on hanging out.

all that being said, you are right. in highschool its not bad cuz you can say 'my mom can pick you up' but you cant do that in college.

there is nothing wrong with being single, so if you simply arent in a position in life to have some sort of vehicle or cash, thats fine. the living at home thing isnt ideal, but plenty of people are in that position so its not the end of the world.

>>16623081
>I'm just doubting many women would be interested in dating someone living at home even though I consider myself a pretty likeable guy and I'm at least of average attractiveness.
The biggest concern I'd have about dating you is that you don't seem to have any friends.

>>16623073
I have friends in both school and work. But I'm talking more about a relationship. If it helps, I'm in a discipline with like 0 girls so the only time I even see girls is in my gen ed requirements.

>>16623078
Hey bub, no need to project here. I'm asking for advice on what to do/work on. Clearly I could tell my parents to spend a lot of money on putting me in a dorm or I can cripple myself financially to live in the dorm and then get pussy that way, but that's not what I'm asking.

I'm certain that's it's possible to maintain a relationship in a similar situation as to mine, which is why I'm asking what kind of steps I can take to allow it to work out even marginally better.

>>16623081

its not that big a deal if ur planning to date and not date around. its hard to date around when you live at home but if you are looking for something a bit more serious, its not a big deal. if you have money to go out you just spend the first amount of time doing that.

then when you know its 'right' you take her to meet your family and such. you are in college so everyones either poor, or rich because their parents are rich. there will be judgemental people sure, but if they like you they like you and this wont be a big deal.

you also have nothing to lose. the worse that happens is you get turned down. at best, you get a gf. but if you dont even try, at best nothing happens.

there is nothing to lose by putting yourself out there if you have the cash, and should maybe invest in a vehicle.

>>16623082
Well the thing is I have a good social life with friends. I mean I can take the bus practically anywhere and I spend a lot of time with people I've met at college.

>>16623086
I have friends. Let's just establish this.

Why can't you buy a car, borrow a parent's or ask them to go halves with you on one? You said you have savings, I don't understand what's stopping you from getting what you seem to be saying is your biggest barrier to getting dates.

>>16623096

then you get on the bus and meet them where they are going, and hang out and have fun. i dont quite understand what ur issue is.

if its that women will judge you for living with your parents, everyone judges you anyway. just go for what you want and if it doesnt work out, at least you tried.

>>16623096
So what exactly is stopping you from doing what you want to do? I don't understand what the problem here is. Also you're contradicting yourself
>I haven't dated anyone or really been that social ever

>>16623100
Alright well I guess masking my anxiety isn't going to help. I have crippling anxiety that prevents me from driving. I've been in far too many car crashes for a lifetime and it's going to be a while before I can really take the time to get over that anxiety. It's to the point where I will only get into a car with someone I know really well.

>>16623100
This.

You can get a more than decent car for 4-5 grand. Decent enough to last until you get a career job. You need a vehicle to get to that career. Not sure why you're dragging your heels on this.

>>16623109
So take the fucking bus?

You have no problems, did you just make a thread about imaginary ones?

>>16623106
Well being social doesn't mean I don't do things or have friends. I guess what I meant is that I'm usually only social with people I know fairly well and it's difficult for me to get into situations with people I don't know without having anxiety.

>>16623115
Okay, why did it take so many posts to finally get your actual problem out of you?

As for advice, get some professional help.

>>16623115

>without having anxiety

have a beer whenever possible, but otherwise its a 'get over it' situation. we are anxious about things because they are new and we are concerned baotu them. do it more and more and you are no long anxious. its the difference between the first day of school and the 50th. you get used to it.

just ask your friends if they wanna hang this weekend and jump on that.

>>16623114
My problem is that I've literally never been social enough to be in a situation in that I'd meet a girl and the concept of having to be dependable in some way is difficult for me to achieve since I don't have a car or home of my own.

Maybe I should be asking, "What are tips for someone with anxiety who lives with their parents to start making small steps out of their comfort zone without telling them to "JUST DO IT"?"

>>16623115
>>16623109

Mmkay then, so the whole OP isn't your issue at all. Your issue is you have crppling mental issues and you need help to get over them. Start seeing a therapist. You can't go your whole life living that way. Social anxiety, situation (driving) anxiety, etc. These are not things you can live with. You're going to ruin your life if you don't fix them. Talk to the counselors at your college, or your parents, or your primary care doc for a recommendation for a therapist.

Don't try dating someone until you get your head fixed. It will be a disaster.

>>16623124
The car and the home are non-issues. For the anxiety, >>16623120

>>16623120
Not to be rude, because I appreciate the advice, but I'm fairly certain most people have trouble accurately articulating their problems.

>>16623122
I suppose I can that approach a bit. Although I typically surround myself with the boring, non-drinking types. Would it be weird to have a couple of drinks before going out to do something assuming I wouldn't be able to drink there?

>>16623124

>how do i JUST DO IT without JUST DOING IT

thats what ur asking at this point. you know about all the bars, all the clubs, all that jazz, or at least you know people to go with. you have friends. its literally making plans and doing them, and then when you see a cute girl you want to talk to you JUST DO IT.

there is literally no amount of advice that will make this happen if oyu cant JUST DO IT.

our advice could enhance the situation, but if you cant just do it, you are not going to do it. its the definition of do it.

>>16623133
>Not to be rude, because I appreciate the advice, but I'm fairly certain most people have trouble accurately articulating their problems.

Not really, dude. You admitted that you were hiding your real issue earlier in the thread. There's a difference between "I don't want to tell" and "I didn't communicate that the way I intended." Your OP and your admission of anxiety later on are two completely different issues.

You're going to need to learn to be straight forward and 100% honest from the get o when you get a therapist, or it won't work.

>>16623133
>I'm fairly certain most people have trouble accurately articulating their problems
Most people here are pretty good at explaining their problems, actually. You knew what your problem was right from the start, you just chose to pick a bunch of unrelated 'issues' to talk about. We can't help you if you don't tell us what the problem is

>>16623137
>>16623141
Alright, well thanks for getting it out of me.

>>16623134
I'm sort of asking if there's any tips or tricks to get over the first hurdle. It's been really easy for me to avoid going to really social occasions being in my situation (people can't just drag me out of my dorm like most other people can), so is there at least something I can do to ease the transition? I'm really, really bad at making fast changes, historically.

>>16623133

depends what hte activity is. getting drunk before goign to the bar is just called pre-gaming. getting drunk before a magic the gathering tournament? not so much. some people get high and just dont give a fuck but thats not going to make people love you more.

>>16623151

>get over the first hurdle

BY JUST DOING IT. that is literally the only thing there is to do. anything else just helps the situation but you gotta go out there and actually do it.

>>16623151
>I'm sort of asking if there's any tips or tricks to get over the first hurdle
Yeah: go see a therapist. You're a student, there should be someone on campus, or you'd at least be able to get a student discount. Stop whining and go and fix your problems