Aight, so, my girlfriend's parents hate my guts. They've never seen me, they've never talked to me, and they refuse to. Her dad said the only thing he wants to say to me is to stay the fuck away from their daughter.
I believe they hate me because I'm a foreigner and because I'm a trans guy (professionally diagnosed, currently mid-transition, no Tumblr bullshit). I was accidentally outed to them earlier and they were mad as fuck. Her mom was upset, kept saying "why couldn't her daughter date someone normal" and that she "broke her heart". That kinda shit.
Her mom and dad both keep calling me a girl and flip the fuck out when she tries to correct them. They also make fun of my name (perfectly normal and common where I come from, but apparently with a certain pronunciation it sounds like a synonym for shit in their language).
I recently bought plane tickets to visit her in summer, I'm going to attend her graduation. She said it's important to her and she'd love for me to be there, but her parents unsurprisingly got really fucking mad about that. Said that they don't want me "ruining a family affair".
I don't need them to like me. I just wish they'd treat me like a human being. I already have shitty self-esteem and I hate to admit that this is making some serious dents on it. I'm really worried about what I'm gonna have to deal with in June when I have to meet them in person. I'd really like some advice on what to do with the situation and how to cope with their bullshit.
I'm 22 and she's 20, in case it makes any difference.
wow that's all kinds of gross. your pretend relationship is not going to work out, give up.
Forget what other people think... If this woman genuinely wants to be with you find a way to make it work. Nothing else really matters.
> Her mom was upset, kept saying "why couldn't her daughter date someone normal"
Well, she does have a point...
So do you have a fake dick?
>>16619995
My advice is to stop being mentally ill.
Do you feel this girl is worth all the trouble of having her parents hate you?
>>16620204
Yeah. There's nothing wrong between her and me, but I'd rather not have her parents make practical things any more difficult. She still lives with them.
>>16620221
Can't argue with that, honestly...
>>16620237
Yes. Definitely.
although I don't agree with your choices op, I do think it's rude for them to not accept the fact that their daughter loves you.
Understandably though, you challenge a lot of what they expect from her. You two would have to adopt children if you wanted to raise a family, for example. Also, it's wierd for them because their daughter's sexuality is in question- if they're homophobic then their anger from this is directed at you.
So, looking forward-
There is no way to get them to accept you. Your GF will either have to choose you, or them. If she were to marry you, them may even cut her off from the family.
Honestly, she will likely choose them over you. No offense to you- statistically it's just more likely.
This is something you should have a convo with her about. She needs to tell her parents that they either needs to accept you, or that she will cut herself off from the family. If she is not willing to make this commitment for your relationship, then it will not last with her
>>16620254
Shell eventually leave you for a real man, born with a penis.
And she'll never mention you ever again, because you are a mistake. You should save everyone the time and kill yourself right now.
Figuratively do you feel it would be better for her to go separate ways? I mean if this is destroying her family relations and all.
>>16620268
Fortunately, neither of us like children. She's said she's kind of glad that she's dating a guy who can't make her pregnant, actually.
It's sort of okay if they don't accept me, I'd just like them to stop being so openly hostile about our relationship (and not treating me like a monster would be a big plus). I don't want her to cut herself off from her family, but she's said that she'll give them a piece of her mind if they keep shitting on me while I'm there.
>>16620348
I'd feel terrible if our relationship ended up ruining her family relations. I've talked about it with her, and her stand on it is that in the long run they have no choice but to adapt.
>>16620394
Will you breaking up with her be better for her?...they wont adapt they are obviously ignorant...My other question is that will you be devastated if you break up with her..will she be devastated ?
>>16620278
geez..
>>16620394
>Fortunately, neither of us like children. She's said she's kind of glad that she's dating a guy who can't make her pregnant, actually.
She's only saying that to reassure you, biological clock will kick in with time and them it's bye bye mentally ill pretend guy
>>16620405
>Will you breaking up with her be better for her?
Difficult to say. While we've been together, we've both improved each other's mental health, overall mood, productivity and desire to be better people in general. Sure, it'd probably help her relations with her family, but they haven't really been upset with her. They've blamed me for everything.
>My other question is that will you be devastated if you break up with her..will she be devastated ?
Yes, to both. We've discussed this. I'm most likely not going to break up with her unless she wants us to go our separate ways. It's her call.
