No contact rule?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hey /adv/, I'd really appreciate any responses on this one.
I'm a 22 y.o. man who broke up with a short-lived girlfriend a few days ago. Basically, we dove into a relationship over the course of this month. "I love you", talking about moving in together, etc. However, I started to realize that I am really in no position to be a good boyfriend right now-- I spend all of my time working, and during my downtime, I really have no desire to do maintenance on a relationship. The whole thing was making me anxious. Plus, deep down, I knew that we really weren't that great of a match.
The breakup was quick-- she got in my car, I told her that I can't be her boyfriend any more, she got out of my car, she went inside her house.
However, that day, she sent me a number of texts ranging from "I knew love was a lie" to "I understand and I hope that we can be friends... bye for now". The next day, "my love doesn't wash away so easy". Finally, yesterday, "I deserve an explanation", and today, "If you refuse to speak to me now while I'm suffering, don't expect your words to mean anything to me in the future".
OK, sorry for wall of text, but seriously, I haven't responded once to my ex-girlfriend's numerous texts and she keeps texting me.
I feel like it will be easier for her to get through this if I don't respond to her at all.
Any responses appreciated.
>>16618948
No contact rule is for ppl who've been dumped, and trying to forget the pain. It doesn't apply to you, since youre the one who dumped her. Give her an explanation. And if she isnt satisfied, then ignore her for being obnoxious.
>>16619552
>No contact rule is for ppl who've been dumped, and trying to forget the pain.
Not OP but I find this interesting, can you elaborate?
If I fuck a girl and than she ask me not to contact her, is that her trying to "forget the pain" or did it mean I did something wrong?
>>16619589
No contact rule, isn't something you tell someone.
In your example, this person is literally telling you to fuck off. The name of the rule isn't taken literally.
There are different shades of love man.
Like shades of grey, but less freaking corny!
It's good you took a break, now its time to build yourself up to be the man you want to be!
"Just be yourself sir, they can't take that away from you."
>>16619664
Get out please. What the fuck even??
>>16619589
I don't know how many times I have to say this on this board but take what women say with a grain of salt. They are emotionally based so observe their actions and decide from there.
Here's a hint: Text her back.
OP here, just got back, thanks for replies.
>>16619552
I feel you, and I didn't know that about the "rule". I don't want to disagree here, but I'm worried that if I text her back, it will just hurt her more, because then we've opened a line of communication, and it will just prolong the time before we stop talking to each other altogether. Maybe I'm wrong...
>>16619664
Uh, fair enough.
>>16619688
Are you saying "text her back" in reference to my situation as OP? I'm not the one you were responding to there.
>>16619767
Yeah, meant to respond to you.
You do not owe her an explanation. It's actually better if you don't give her one. Just don't respond.
>>16619772
Alright, thanks for the response. She has sent me about 7 or 8 texts since we broke up. Should I just respond to each one, point by point, or explain to her again why I broke up with her, explain why I thought it would be better if I didn't respond, then explain how I think it would be better if we didn't talk to each other any more?
I'm not good at this. I see things as pretty black & white.
>>16619780
See, thank you. This is what I really think. I did explain to her why I was breaking up with her-- you know, when I was breaking up with her. Now I'm just thinking that she's trying to rope me into an emotional battlefield and I'm seriously not about that right now.
I'm a nice person, but I've had my heart broken before, and I know that the best thing that the woman did was just simply not talk to me. I even see this girl going through the same steps as I did when I was desperately texting the one who broke my heart.
>>16619785
Just explain to her why you broke up with her THEN tell her you would like to cut communication.
>>16619793
What a lot of people don't see about giving an explanation is that it does't really make the broken up with feel better. It's not like they can undo the breakup, and if you give them a reason, sometimes they try to improve because they misunderstand it as "we can get back together if you do..."
Especially since you broke up with her clearly, just let it be.
