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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
It's just so much I wouldn't ever be able to finish. I've so many "reasons" to do this. But if I were to write them I would just bore the hell out of you.
Now, the point: I want to kill myself.
I don't want to live anymore. I can't be alive. I just can't handle the fact that my family will be absolutely devastated if I do it.
My mental state is getting worse, and I feel like I'm becoming more of a drag each passing day.
I just started college, and so far I'm good, but life itself has been absolutely debilitating for me. I want to cry all day.
I've always been weak, since I was a child. I thought I could handle it, but now I just can't.
My sister has said, repeteadly, how suicide would be the worst thing anyone can do and that it would wreck the family. And I agree. My family is sensitive already. Picturing them when they find out about what I did, and their future, just breaks my heart. I'm out of words. But I just can't do this anymore. I feel so much dread I want to puke.
I'm poor and I live in a third world country. I can't go to a psychologist/psychiatrist. Honestly, it would just complicate things and I'm absolutely sure it won't fix anything because I just don't want to get better. It would also be shameful and I don't want to ashame them anymore. I hate myself, and everything in this world, and I fear being alive, and this won't change. For me, life is just haunting. The only constant in my life has always been my family. It's really all that matters. But I just can't exist for them anymore.
I'm just really afraid to actually do it. But life is really terrible too. How should I do it?
And more importantly... How can I say goodbye?
>>16612910
what are the problems in your life?
Make a life for yourself that you can handle. Some people can take on college and everything and make it. For some people, that's too much. For you, it's too much. Make a life that you can handle. Can you get a job? A simple job? Caregiving? Computer work? I don't know how third world you are. Volunteer somewhere that pays expenses? Join a convent or conservation group or something?
>>16612910 (OP)
>BIog posting when you couId be Iooking these subjects up on your own
No point in posting here.
Yeah. Any care giving job will be good for you. Since you don't want to live for yourself, live for others by helping others. That will make you feel some self-worth.
Also, you posted a pic of Van Gogh's painting. Have you tried drawing or painting? Pick some colours and go wild. Art is therapeutic. You don't need to show it anywhere. It's for yourself. Ofcourse, if you want to, share it.
>>16612910
>I just can't handle the fact that my family will be absolutely devastated if I do it.
If you were serious this wouldn't matter, do it or don't faggot.
>My sister has said, repeatedly, how suicide would be the worst thing anyone can do and that it would wreck the family.
I hate it when people say that. It's an extremely selfish thing to say. It's like saying "I don't give a shit how *you* feel. Don't kill yourself because it would make *me* feel bad."
If your family has no empathy for you, don't care what you're going through and only want to keep you alive for their own selfish reasons, then yeah. Do it.
>>16612910
Dude if you wanted to kill yourself why would you care how your family felt? You'll be dead. You won't be able to know how it affected them or be capable of caring. If you want to off yourself just do it. If not, shut the fuck up and go get professional help.
