I cheated on and broke up with my girlfriend of three years a few weeks ago. I'd been with her since high school. She broke up with me about three months ago for a week, partly because she was "busy" and I was "clingy." Those are issues everyone has, though, and they're trivial; I just wanted to hang out more than she did. The main reason she broke up with me was because she couldn't trust me. So I ended things with her. Now I have no fucking clue what to do. Story time.
You see, back when we were still in highschool, her parents told her she couldn't see me any more. We talked on the phone and I basically told her "fuck that let's stay together." Even though she was leaving for a weeklong trip and wouldn't be able to talk to me, I made it absolutely certain that I wanted to wait for her parents to come around. While she was gone, I lost hope that we were going to stay together. So I started talking to this girl who lived in another state.
I "cheated" on my girlfriend in a way you can probably imagine is possible over skype. When my girlfriend came back from her trip, I told her I wasn't sure if we should see each other, and she flipped out. I realized how much she still cared about me, freaked out, and told her everything, and told her I still wanted to be with her. She ended up staying. After that, I did something similar with a (very cute) girl on Omegle. Thinking it wasn't a big deal, I forgot about it. Then, months later, I remembered it and freaked out and told her. She broke up with me then got back with me after a few days. This happened again when she found out I watched porn. So I told her I would stop. I watched porn twice after that, and she broke up with me for a couple days each time. I had to beg her to believe that I would change. But then there was a year of nothing. I changed. I never watched porn. Then she watched porn for a while; when I found out I told her to stop. I changed my habits to fit her preferences and I handled her shit easily.(cont)
>>16612899
Shit, sorry for the wall of text.
So she didn't trust me because I "cheated" on her. So after a year of me being exactly what she wanted, she broke up with me. This was a few months ago. I guess she never really forgave me? I don't know. We still ended up hanging out and having sex just as much as we always had, but after a week I was almost getting over things. But she says "Nothing's changed. Let's just stay together." So we do. During the next two months, things are mostly fine, but she cancels plans with me. She has no problems canceling plans with me to hang out with some classmates, but when I wanted her to go to a work party with me that I had discussed with her a month prior, she said she had made plans to hang out with one of her friends. I wasn't happy. That wasn't the first time that had happened, and I knew it wouldn't be the last.
Of course, I'm fine with her cancelling plans with me occasionally, and I want her to hang out with her friends, but I felt like I wasn't getting any special treatment, despite me being her SO for years. She called me a bitch jokingly a lot. I'd call her a faggot and tell her to get on her knees and beg for my forgiveness, and we'd have a laugh about it. But it bothered me that she was comfortable calling me that as often as she did.
At the party, this gorgeous girl sits next to me for a good part of the night. I think "Wow, it feels great having someone act interested in me." Then it hit me: the girlfriend didn't give a shit. So I start hanging out with the gorgeous girl over the next few days, I cheat on my girlfriend, then I break up with her. Shitstorm ensues etc. It's all passed now.
I miss my ex. The gorgeous girl has a boyfriend. The fuck do I do? (cont again)
>>16612903
(cont) Trying to get back with the ex sounds like a horrible idea, as I'm sure you agree. I could definitely continue seeing the gorgeous girl, but I feel really bad for her boyfriend. I could get her to leave him (it's long distance; the only reason she's with him is because she doesn't like letting go of people), but I'd have to commit to a relationship with her. Am I really cut out for that? I still miss my ex.
I don't know what to do. I just know that I'm really sad right now and it's cold out.
So any advice?
Stay alone for a while.
Work on yourself and get completely out of this relationship: it was pretty unhealthy and you need to understand what was wrong with it (cheating, lies, manipulation, changing yourself to fit her standards) before getting in a new one. Figure out what you want in a relationship, what was missing with your ex, and try to focus on that when you get back to dating.
It is not going to be easy, because everyone loves to be loved and being single sucks. But if you don't use this chance to grow up you will lose every other girl you fall for.
Good luck.
