What do you think about going for single moms as a late 20s male who doesn't have much going for him? I'm not actually going for them in particular but it seems like every cute girl I talk top have a 2year old or a 4 year old. I don't hate kids but how do you get to know the woman without letting her kids sway you. I'm fairly set financially but I just don't like the idea of having to look after hers and some other guys mistake.
>hers and some other guys mistake.
If you're calling their kids a mistake, you're better off not dating girls with kids. For your sake, and primarily theirs.
mexican whores for good luck brehs
If you aren't interested in caring for her kids I'd forget it. Also, the dad might still be in the picture which can make things weirder.
I honestly think you're just chatting up same-y women and are conflicted on if you want to give up and settle. I'd keep your options open. Not every woman is a parent.
>>16612703
How can you argue that having a child at 18-20 isn't a mistake? Especially considering the bio father isn't in the picture at all.
>>16612710
To them, the child isn't a mistake, and this attitude you have just confirms what I said. Do them a favour, and don't date them
>>16612710
Evolutionarily, it's the best. She's already guaranteed that she has passed down her genes.
38 year old career woman with no children <<<< single mom
>>16612680
no bro, just no. a woman with a child that has no father to raise them with is in the clearance bin. if I ever got a girl pregnant it's time to be a man and father that child. but I sure as shit am not going to raise some other guys mistake
hold yourself to a higher standard
>>16612715
So, what? Because she's hot and clearly fertile that makes her attractive?. It really does because she's hot as fuck and im finna get her number
>>16612715
buncha bullshit right here, i'll take the 38 year old with a plan anyday. yes one woman has passed down her genes, but she's put herself and her child in a horrible situation and I want no part of that
jennifer aniston has no kids, i'll take her everyday over a smokin hot 20 something with a kid and no husband
(because I know this will get brought up, I would still pick jennifer aniston even if she wasn't a multi millionaire)
>>16612703
/thread
You're a dick. Don't ever have children.
>>16612680
Op i would rather live alone for an eternity rather than date a single mom.
1. The child will always come before you
2. Not only will you bring on the burden of a girlfriend financially but also a child , one that isnt even yours.
3. The father of the child ever getting involved opens up the possibility of cheating
Single mothers are awful. Never settle for one.
>>16612714
the child is a mistake because 0.00001% of women plan on having a kid to raise alone. you may not regret giving birth to the child, and may love them to pieces, but the original plan was you and the guy raising this child together.
>>16612703
>>16612714
>do them a favor and don't date them
I will heed this advice and avoid the most undesirable women in the dating pool
>>16612741
That's a change in circumstances, if anything. My point still stands: if you consider their child a mistake, then you're better off without them and they're better off without you
>>16612741
It's not a mistake. It may have been unplanned but calling it a mistake proves how immature and ignorant you are to the entire situation. And obviously not parent material. Do everyone a favor, if you think children are the mistake in these situations never become parents. We don't need more children with awful situations because idiots decide to breed. You could be married and plan your child but with this attitude you wouldn't be half as good a parent as a single mom that took all the shit you could throw at her and still loved her child.
>>16612744
don't pretend to be op. but ya i find it pretty humorous that someone is defending single moms so vehemently, calling strawman with no evidence or support. I really want someone to convince me it's not dumb as hell but fat chance eh?
>>16612750
"change in circumstances"
that's a really fancy way of saying I shouldn't have fathered a child with this man. meaning having a child with this man was a mistake. the child wasn't, but overall the decision was a mistake
>>16612741
No anon. To the single parent, getting pregnant was the mistake or the sex or birth control failing or not being used. They do not think the child is the mistake.
>inb4 yes they do
If they think the child is a mistake, then their a trashy, bottom of the barrel piece of human mistake themselves, and aren't even worth consideration. OP's not asking to date trailer trash meth moms, he's talking about normal single mothers that made a mistake AND THEN had a child that they love very much.
>>16612755
No one can tell the future. Don't date someone if you're going to hold them accountable for things they couldn't have foreseen. There are plenty of girls out there who don't have children; date them if you're so against single mothers.
>>16612751
>ignorant
theres that buzzword again. if you read what I posted I said the child itself is not the mistake, the mistake was you picking a shitty father, therefore making the whole situation a mistake. I do plan to become a parent one day, but i'm not emotionally or financially ready for that burden, as I'm well aware of what a huge task it is (it requires two people to be done well).
>we don't need more children with awful situations because idiots decide to breed
oh you mean like single moms?
>>16612755
you'd think this logical deduction would be accepted widely.
>>16612761
it really sounds like you're a butthurt single mom. the reason I ask this question(op here) is because 3/4 of the girls i've taken interest in in the last 3 months have all been single moms. i don't WANT to date single moms but it's a choice i'm considering
>>16612753
it's dumb as hell but clearly we have a single mom in our midst
>>16612751
Little abortion that got away detected.
>>16612770
Why are you talking like people are forcing you to date single mothers? If you don't want to date them, don't. You're complaining about something that is literally 100% within your control
>>16612756
I get what you're saying, but unfortunately the mistake you made was a costly one, you have a human being to raise now and you can't expect to date and succeed because like a child, realtionships take work, and single moms simply can't do both effectively. it's not fair to either party.
But single mothers are fertile and they've proven it. That means she can have your children easily, and you'll be able to pass down your legacy.
That other hot childless woman over there? You don't know if she has ovarian cancer or uterine cancer or is otherwise genetically infertile
>>16612772
>it really sounds like you're a butthurt single mom
I'm not. I personally wouldn't date a single parent either, but my original point was that if you can't accept their child, don't date them. That's advice I'd give myself if I were faced with the prospect of dating a single parent, and that is literally the only answer you need to get.
You 3/4 girls are single mothers, so date the remaining 1/4. You yourself said that you don't have much going for you, so you can't afford to be as picky as you're probably being with those girls
>>16612772
>it really sounds like you're a butthurt single mom
Not the person you're arguing with, but I think what is trying to be said is that if you're going to willingly go into a relationship where you low-key hate someone and their decisions, then you're not going to have their best interest in mind as you're busy silently judging them and being bitchy about their choices. That little bit of hate or disgust or whatever is going to carry over into your relationship, and it's kind of rude to subject someone to that attitude.
>you kinda suck, but I guess I'll put up with you.
That doesn't make a good relationship. Either be on board and be totally okay with the kid and the parent and the fact that it happened, or don't subject those people to yourself.
>>16612761
oh trust me I plan on exclusively dating women with zero children, no worries there.
>don't date someone if you're going to hold them accountable for things they couldn't have forseen
your husband dying is something you couldn't have forseen. if he just up and left, well, you make poor decisions
>>16612777
I already mentioned that I have zero interest in dating single moms, in my mind they're undateable because the child will always come first, and they simply don't have the time or energy to make a relationship work.
I'm just informing OP that he should not date them either for aforementioned reasons because this is an advice board
>>16612794
>if he just up and left, well, you make poor decisions
How? Your logic makes no sense. If a man leaves his wife after 10 years of marriage where he spent the last 6 months having an affair, has she made poor decisions if they had 9 and a half years of no problems? But on the other hand, if a woman knowingly marries a serial cheater who dies in a car crash that isn't his fault, she's completely absolved of any blame and didn't make any bad decision?
>>16612788
Acknowledged.
>>16612791
I don't hate single mothers. I understand that they had previous relationships that they thought would last but didn't. I registered that in my mind as a mistake. Clearly we don't mean to make mistakes and it's tough to call a human life a mistake but if we're being real, that's what it was. It's like her going along with me even though I'll never have a 6 pack and I'll probably always be 20 lbs overweight.
>>16612813
Seriously, just don't date single mothers.
>>16612804
oh trust me i'm not absolving men in this situation. a married man with children is equally undateable, and if he cheats and his wife divorces him he will pay a hefty fine in alimony and child support payments to get his dick wet.
men with children, and women with children are undateable in my book. but the goal is to be together until death do you part, so if your part before then....you made a shitty decision
but don't feel bad because 50% of marriages end in divorce ( people making poor decisions)
>>16612770
Please don't. Spare those poor future children.
Anyone here willing to put down the children and call them derogatory terms should never be a parent. If you haven't been in this kind of situation you really have no room to judge or criticize someone. Anyone who is a parent can easily sympathize. Blaming the mom and referring to the child as some awful thing to avoid is complete shit. Where is the hate for the men that left these women in that situation. Oh it's her fault for choosing him? How many partners have you had that you thought the world of before they turned out to be completely different than what you expected? Or left you and blindsided you? Or cheated when you thought everything was great? If you aren't ready or don't feel comfortable dating a single mother that's fine but don't sit on your high horse like you're so much better than them. You aren't.
>>16612832
I don't think you fags understand. I'm trying to date women, not their entourage,
>>16612840
So don't date women with an 'entourage'. I really don't know what is so hard to understand about that concept
>>16612832
except I am better than them because i'm not raising a child on one paycheck. I'm not raising a child that won't have both a mother and a father. I can EMPATHIZE with single mothers, because I know what a struggle it must be, but that only furthers my point that single mothers are undateable, because they have a child to look after, and that child will always come first over some new man in her life. it's not fair to the single mom, no fair to the guy she's attempting to date, and it's not fair to the bastard child.
by the way how is life as a single parent? since you clearly seem to know so much about it
>>16612845
I was raised by a single mom. You absolutely are not better than them just because you're not a parent. You're an idiot and an ignorant asshole attacking women and children on an anonymous image board. This is the highlight of your life. Being able to claim you are better than single mothers on 4chan. Congrats.
>>16612703
fuck all these people saying it wasnt a mistake it fucking obviously was, but people are way too politically correct to say other wise. There's plenty of girls not with a kid. Try some dating sites. More educated/wealthy people tend to breed later in life.
>>16612854
>ignorant
there's that buzzword again ( hi facebook!) but my point still stands, I am better than a single mom because being a single mom would suck, and my life doesn't suck.
by the way your little crumb cruncher is probably going to be awake in about 5 hours so you should get some sleep sweety
>>16612840
>I'm trying to date women, not their entourage
You can't date a single mother, and not consider and include the fact that she has a child (and that child will probably be more important than you). You can't divorce that. Unless you're looking for a fuckbuddy, you aren't going to get the relationship you want out of a single mom, so just don't.
>>16612862
>ignorant
>buzzword
>trying to turn commonly used words into meme words
what's your major malfunction, dude?
>>16612854
I was raised by a single mom too, and you know what life was terribly shitty, and we were broke as fuck, i'd never bring a kid into this world without resources or being married for years, its incredibly selfish.
>>16612878
taken from dictionary.c0m
"a word or phrase, often sounding authoritative or technical, that is a vogue term in a particular profession, field of study, popular culture, etc."
ignorant is a buzzword, facebook is a commonly used medium that emphasizes buzzwords. you're just an idiot.
>>16612680
Well, there are a lot of people who either thought that this guy was the one and wanted to start a family or whose maternity instincts overpowered them and they couldn't get an adoption.
In any case, you should be able to get to know the girl before meeting their kids anyway - any woman who's a responsible parent won't be showing every single dude they date to their kid(s) immediately, it should be a big thing to introduce you to the kid, sort of like introducing you to her parents.
But yeah, if you decide to go for the relationship you have to accept that the woman and her kid(s) sort of come as a package deal and inevitably you'll have to spend some money on the kid as well. Just put yourself in the adorable little bastard's position; what if you marry the woman and you have a child together, who you'll love as your offspring? For the little mistake kid, what's it like to grow up in a "family" where your kid sister is always getting more and is always more loved by "dad" and is the kid of both parents whereas you are always the extra, the sidelines one, the one who's only mom's kid, the one dad grumbles about having to pay for, the one getting lesser gifts at christmas and birthdays? Remember, it's not the poor little bastard kids fault in any way.
That's a shit position to put any kid in. It's not fair. So, if you can't control your resentment over paying for someone else's kid, don't try to fake it in the beginning and play nice and sort of hook the mom+kid combo into a family unit with you so that you can start treating the kid like the evil stepparent from all the fairytales. Just focus your dating efforts on childless women and everyone will be worlds happier.
>>16612889
Are we considering all common adjectives to be buzzwords, or are you just a stupid retard?
>inb4 stupid is a buzzword
>inb4 retard is a buzzword
>inb4 buzzword is a buzzword
>>16612791
very nicely put
>>16612680
Don't do it. Single mom's have a bond with the father that you'll never be able to replace. You'll always be the bottom priority. Single mom's can be cool but I would tread carefully when it comes to relationships with them.
>>16612751
>"because idiots decide to breed"
>defends single mothers who chose poorly in their decision to bring a child into this world
>>16612832
yes we've all had partners that have turned out to be shitty but the difference is whether you jumped in too quickly and had kids with them or not.
