I come from a different mental place with a bit of a background in social psychology and intra-gender communications....so the emotional element doesn't come into play with my assessments. I left my Disney relationship card at the door. Be warned.

What you're describing is a situation where you're attempting to re-initiate a relationship with someone who has since moved on. The idea of her open relationship assists this by allowing you a glimmer of hope.

For a moment - place yourself in a position where she's already told you "no" to the impending question. Are you still friends with her in the fallout? Many of my HS friends and I had this weird "come to Jesus" moment where we realized our past was the only commonality we had outside their desire for attention and my desire to open vag, insert penis. When it was cleared that their interest didn't exist in carnal affairs, my communication frequency dissipated if not outright disappeared. If you no longer desire to be her friend - you now know why you two still speak - you're sexually interested in her - be it for familiarity or plausible desire.

In the next moment - Let's say she said "Sure! I'd love to play "P in V" with you within my weird style of polygamous relationship" What do you want to get out of this? Is this likely to be in-line with her goals, given she's allowing for this poly-type relationship to exist? Or is this just sex for her? If you're looking to do more than get your dick wet, and she's not - are you helping or hurting the situation?


When you come up with answers only you can provide (from your perspective), decide whether or not just to pop the question. Every question left unasked results in an implied "no". Every question asked can result in damaged relationship, voided friendship, and a perpetual state of weird existing between 2 parties.

Play carefully OP. Figure out what you want, and see if that lines up with what you're looking for.

>>16611255
I've been very careful with talking to her about all of this for the reason that I was unsure about how my feelings were. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her for sex, but then again I wouldn't just want a one night stand. I care about her as a person and I know she cares about me, but I'm strictly a monogamous guy. I wouldn't be into the polygamous relationship scene because I don't believe they can work, at least not for me.

The thing I'm trying to come to terms with is the fact that I would have no idea what to do if she said yes/no and I'm obviously worried our friendship will be put on the line. I don't want to make her the only thing on my mind because I don't want to be stuck on the idea we could have a potential future, but I can't seem to get this feeling I have around her with anyone else.

Another thing that worries me is that she never makes her intentions clear. When we got together way back when, she came to me almost unexpectedly, and when she came to me to end it, we had just watched a movie and had what seemed to be a great time, like any other time we have, so I can't seem to read into her emotions, and that worries me to some degree.

>I care about her as a person and I know she cares about me, but I'm strictly a monogamous guy. I wouldn't be into the polygamous relationship scene because I don't believe they can work, at least not for me.

Then you have your answer in regard to her and monogamy. She's in a relationship with another guy.

>The thing I'm trying to come to terms with is the fact that I would have no idea what to do if she said yes/no and I'm obviously worried our friendship will be put on the line. I don't want to make her the only thing on my mind because I don't want to be stuck on the idea we could have a potential future, but I can't seem to get this feeling I have around her with anyone else.

Is what you have, in fact, a friendship - or a personal interest in a relationship with a girl you've already put your penis in? Do you have commonality existing outside of memories and moments? Do you share interests and enjoy experiencing mutual interests while sharing time? Do you have the prior - or is it only a fragment of a memory because you don't spend time together like you did while dating? Or - is this just an infatuation you hold for one girl, disallowing you from feeling connected to anyone else despite her situation? You have those answers - you just need figure that out.

>Another thing that worries me is that she never makes her intentions clear. When we got together way back when, she came to me almost unexpectedly, and when she came to me to end it, we had just watched a movie and had what seemed to be a great time, like any other time we have, so I can't seem to read into her emotions, and that worries me to some degree.

Ask questions to get answers you want - But only verbalize these questions to others if you're sure you want answers.

This doesn't sound like a good place to be. I understand where you're coming from and why you feel funny inside, but this seems like you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Cut contact. Watch, but don't wait.

>>16611392
>Is what you have, in fact, a friendship - or a personal interest in a relationship with a girl you've already put your penis in?
We've actually never had sex. I've had a fair share of relationships, and still, a fair amount of them were sexual, but she was my first gf and I was her first as well, and neither of us felt it was right.

You also raise a good amount of points. I know for a fact the answers to the questions you've asked me, and I know all of them to be of good will, but I feel like I need to figure out if I do cut contact with her if she would try to seek me out, or if she would simply move on, however I also want an answer to the question I want to ask her. I suppose meditating on that for a little while should help me figure out what to do.