Hi, I'm a young (27) divorced dad, with a daughter of 1,5 years old. Althought the divorce was nasty (she lelft me for one of my old friends). I'm not bitter about life and I'm lately thinking about starting dating again.
I'm not sure how I should present myself on dating sites. People that don't know the background of my divorce think often that your a bad dad for being divorced or that there is something wrong with you.
How should I present my self on dating sites and on dates. Be completely honest or mention that I'm a dad after a couple of dates?
I
>>16609284
1st- Dont use dating sites
2nd- you have the child so any girl out there will know for sure who fucked up big time, so no worries there
Full custody?
Don't lie on your profile, but I don't think you really need to mention it either. It'll probably come up naturally in conversation on a date, you're pretty much there to get to know each other, and talk about your lives.
But if they're just reading that info on a profile, I think it's too easy to make negative assumptions or just say "not worth the trouble, next." Whereas if they actually get to meet you in person, they'll get to see more of your good qualities and make a more balanced judgment.
>>16609348
Good advice. =)
>>16609284
>Be completely honest or mention that I'm a dad after a couple of dates
In between. Surely don't advertise it, but don't hide it for too long cause if it's really a deal breaker for her, you would have wasted both of your time.
This >>16609308 is also important. Full custody on a 1.5yo child takes a lot of your time, and she might wonder if you can have time together.
>>16609348
>>16609348
Mention the kid somehow BEFORE a date. Don't advertise, but mention it along the way.
Children can be a deal-breaker for a lit of people and I find it disrespectful to potentially waste someone's time.
Also, I'd ditch dating sites.
>>16609302
What are the alternatives to dating sites?
>>16609450
I don't think a first date is a huge waste of time. You're not required to disclose every potential "deal breaker" before you even meet a person. The whole point of dating is to get to know each other. I think it's usually much better to do that stuff face-to-face than online. There's a big difference between reading the words "divorced, single dad, young daughter" and actually meeting the guy, hearing him talk about his daughter, etc etc.
It's only dishonest or disrespectful if you're lying or dodging the subject when you actually DO meet.
>>16609468
Going out of your apartment? Like bars? Clubs? Those are usual places where you can expect to meet people and other people expect to be met.
>>16609284
Meanwhile there are surely places you can meet single mothers in person. Take your daughter to the park and I promise you women will talk to you.
>>16609568
This, but also don't neglect dating sites. I could come across single mothers profiles on OKC for example.
Single parents are getting more and more common now
>>16609284
first off, don't use dating sites.
think about it honestly, what type of women will you meet on a dating site? women who are so incapable of meeting men, that they turn to dating sites ... do you really want that?
plus, dating sites are for attention whores. for every message you send, women get 100x or more messages from guys .. unless you're 'top tier' you're not getting picked anyways, so why bother going through the aggravation?
now, as for how to meet women?
you're coming up on 30, and a single dad. own that, be honest but never negative. saying "we married young and things didn't work out, but I have a wonderful daughter to show for it" is all you ever need to say on a first date.
meet women in real life, running, classes, baking,and socially ... but never online if you want it to actually go anywhere.
>>16609284
not mention that shit.
Look at it this way;
You don't know these women. They're strangers.
Your life is none of their business, any more than their life is your business.
Going on dates is simply an issue of trying to get laid while feeling someone out to see if they're compatible with you, or just fun for the interim.
Until you've realized that you have something that shows potential (and not just sex) then it's none of their business.
>>16609308
No shared custody (both 50%)
>>16609348
Yes I'm afraid I will scare girls before I get to meet them. Im not searching for a new mother in the first place (in the long run it would be nice). But first I just want to have a normal relationship.
>>16609475
Most of my bros are in relationships.
So going to clubs or bars isnt so easy for me (Going alone feels also a bit weird to me).
>>16609681
I like your idea of meting girls through hobby and/or social activities. For now my life consist of taking care of my daughter, work and going to the gym. Maybe I must make some time free for going to art galleries etc.
>>16609706
I'm afraid I will develop feelings for a girl on a date who will end contact with me when she will find out I have a daughter.
I would love to hear more opinions or experiences with dating after a divorce.
>>16610886
Many of your friends have sisters or cousins they could introduce you to.
>>16610886
>Most of my bros are in relationships.
>So going to clubs or bars isnt so easy for me (Going alone feels also a bit weird to me).
Going to a bar alone isn't that weird. Just force yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit.
Also, use dating websites. Other single parents are using them too
>>16609475
I think you missed the part where he's a single father with a one-year-old. I can't imagine he has much time to go out cruising the town in the hopes that he MIGHT meet a girl. Online dating is a good option.
>>16610934
You missed the parts where he requested for alternatives to dating websites and where he said he didn't have full custody.
>>16610934
Online dating is a sham
>>16610995
It seems to work for lots of people. I've been to several weddings for family members and friends who met their partners online
>>16611013
Doesn't make it any less of a sham.
>>16611017
What do you mean? It's just one way to meet people. There are no guarantees
