>Best friend is a cute girl and we spend a lot of time together
>I listen to hear stories and troubles and she talks about how Im such a good guy and not like the other guys out there
>I do a shit ton for her and am always there for her
>fall in love with her and build the courage to ask her out
>she friendzones me and I just say yeah its probably better that way
>doesnt talk to me for like a week
>she her is the cafeteria and wave at her but walk away to open the door for a girl I barely know
>she text me saying shes hurt and that I dumped her immediately for this girl
It was a misunderstanding but really she was the one not responding to my text for a week.
>I apologize to her and say I didnt know how to act
>suddenly really really wants to hang out
>tells me about a guy she just had sex with from tinder and how good it felt
>she starts cuddling with me (like laying down in a bed watching netflix intertwined)
>she can clearly feel my raging boner against her stabbing her
>she ignores it and starts talking about her guy trouble again and how she is in love with her ex
>I try to be a good friend and cheer her up, and listen to her troubles
>falls asleep next to me and we depart on good terms
>doesnt talk to me for another week.
I dont understand whats going on her. Like what does she think about me. does she really feel nothing for me. And if she doesnt why would she do this. Does she not know this makes me feel like shit. Im about to cry here.
I didnt want to feel these feels.
She's being a cruel bitch to you to feed her ego. Avoid her. She'll play with you and torture you until she's bored.
lmao dude find another girl to be in love with
she's just playing around with you, and you have proven to be someone who's very easy to manipulate
>she text me saying shes hurt and that I dumped her immediately for this girl
It was a misunderstanding but really she was the one not responding to my text for a week.
>I apologize to her and say I didnt know how to act
in my opinion you will be better off if you distance yourself from her
>>16607824
Its not just that Im in love with her. She was my best friend. Its probably why I fell for her.
>>16607820
Shes not the type to intentionally try to hurt people so I dont know what shes thinking.
>>16607838
I just try to be there for her. Its not really manipulating when I want to help her. Id like that if I could to stay best friends with her.
Honestly right now Im not even sure I would date her anymore. My heart hurts and I feel a little dirty cuddling with her after she slept with a different guy right before. I dont know what to think anymore.
>>16607810
enjoy being a validation vending machine and emotional tampon
if you're cool with that that, nice
if not, well...
>>16607850
the manipulation is the part where she says she's hurt or the part where she talks about her ex
you felt guilty about opening a door for a girl and apologized, in other words, you were manipulated into feeling guilty and you fell for it
>>16607857
Shes not the type of person to do that to me
>>16607867
Keep lying to yourself
>>16607864
I felt guilty about not going over and speaking to her which is probably what I would have done had we not been in an awkward state. I apologized for that.
OP stop all contact with her.. if she keeps playing games just stop it. I know that she is your best friend, but just stand up and stop all communication with her. This will show her that you're above her and you're not affected by her.
>>16607886
Its not that easy. Shes my best friend and Im still in love with her. Getting rejected is bad enough. Losing your best friend is too much.
Anon. Girls aren't always aware of how cruel it is to play such games. Some don't even understand they are playing games. Sometimes girls just need attention and this is the way they find to get it - manipulating and toying with guys.
It doesn't mean she's a horrible person, just that at this moment she's doing a bad thing. And you are the victim here. So steer clear. She's being toxic to you, you have to recognize that and walk away.
>>16607904
When I tried to hint at how I felt she called me out for letting my feelings for her influence me.
>>16607810
the men of today are so fucking pathetic and women have reduce them to nothing but an emotinal tampon,walking atm machine and dancing monkeys that need to entertain. op if that bitch is not sucking your dick then you have no reason why you should be giving your value for free like that.
>>16608025
How exactly am I pathetic. Whats so pathetic about being there for someone.
>>16608077
because she is getting everything she wants from you for free without the need of giving you sex. she is manipulating you and using you. stop being a needy little faggot and move on unless she is sucking your dick.
>>16607810
Sounds like you're a pussy ass bitch. Man up, faggot.
She is manipulating you.
I used to do the same when I was younger (8 years ago or so) and insecure, I wanted to feel wanted, loved, etc. I was jealous, needy, and wanted their attentions. I manipulated people into feeling guilty for doing perfectly normal shit so they had to make up for their "mistakes". I teased them constantly without giving them anything.
NOTHING of this was done on purpose and when I understood what in was doing I felt horrible for it. I went to therapy to fix it.
It doesn't make her a bad person necessarily, just insecure and unaware of her actions.
Get out of there because a person like that isn't good for a relationship, and isn't a good friends. It's just going to hurt you.
>>16607867
She literally did do that to you got fucking retard
>>16608129
as reparations to the poor dudes you did this to, you should fornicate with all of 'em once
>>16608009
She's a cunt.
Stop all contact with her and befriend people are not manipulators. >>16608025
>>16608135
Its not her fault that they are pathetic needy betas like op, she owe nothing to them, orbiters need to stop playing this victimism role and man the fuck up for once
>>16608103
I dont even want sex from her. But I dont want this either.
>>16608117
What would you do and how would it help you keep your friend.
>>16608155
We were really good friends before.
>>16608166
>she owe nothing to them
>break someones arm
>I OWE YOU NOTHING PUSSY ASS BITCH
I really dont understand this line of thinking
>>16608182
>What would you do and how would it help you keep your friend.
Not the person you're talking to, but here's my advice.
The friendship is over. You decided to take the risk and now it's time for you to fall on the knife. Your friendship dynamic will never be the same, because she'll continue to use you for validation and to feel good about herself. Being able to tell you that she fucked another guy, is in love with her ex, and then falling asleep on your raging boner while you do nothing? That's giving her a massive power trip, and she's addicted to the feeling.
You can't stay friends, but I know you're not going to listen. You have to put her in her place and distance yourself when she says/does these things, so that she learns that she can't use you in that way. Stand up for yourself.
>>16608191
>Comparing breaking orbiter feelings to break someone's arm
>Being that autistic
Again, its not her fault that they are puppys who needs a master, ask Chad if he was ever been manipulated by a narcissistic slut
OP here. Maybe coming to adv wasnt the right idea. Im only starting to become resentful and hateful towards her. I need to chill. I dont want to seem like one of those betas who can only be friends with a girl if she agrees to date him.
>>16608129
I legitimately hate you only because this hits so close to home. I dont blame you. Its just forcing my to look the situation in the face. I didnt think she was this type of person. I didnt want to believe she was this type of person.
Just laughing at myself right now.
>>16608191
>>16608166
>>16608135
I guess we were all insecure fucks. I needed their attention, they needed to be around a girl.
I told them I'm sorry, but sadly I'm in a relationship so I won't fornicate with them.
>>16608182
She is not your friend. Cuddling in bed intertwined and feeling jealous if you do something nice for another girl aren't friendly behaviours.
>>16608182
op you are the biggest cuck I know. you have an attraction for her but you still want to be freinds with her while she fucks other men. fucking pathetic I would spin on your face
>>16608225
>I didnt think she was this type of person. I didnt want to believe she was this type of person.
I don't know if she does that on purpose or no. I wasn't aware of what I was doing, it was natural to me. I was 15 when I realized I was hurting people to feel better about myself, but some just never do it. My best friend still manipulates people and doesn't realize it, and we're both 23 right now.
Insecurity is horrible to deal with. Not a justification to what she is doing to you, but I still have huge problems at dealing with my low self esteem and I can understand what she does, and how good it feels to be loved.
Be straightforward about her behaviour and leave her for a while. Maybe she'll grow up and understand what she's doing.
>>16608226
Yeah, but it's not like you owe anything to them, they choose orbit you by their own will, betas(especially here) love to roleplay that victimism role, instead of improve themselves and throw their fedora away, they prefer to be bitter and call all women whores for not loving their fedora tipping
>into the trash she goes
Cut contact with her completely. Right now anon. Don't be a weak willed cuck. She obviously has no real respect for you, why bother giving her the time?
she obviously wants you to fuck her..
..so just do it
>>16608225
Honey, no. You did come to the right place. Resentment is a normal feeling towards people who hurt us, and she is hurting you. Come on. she knows about your feelings and yet she tells you of other guys, cuddles with you with no intention of doing anything, manipulates you into guilt, feigns jealousy to keep you available and worshiping her and and only her, and you are still thinking you can be friends.
You can't. You gotta let it cool off. Stay away a while, get over her, and then maybe in the future resume the friendship. But not now, she'll play you harder and harder.
>>16607867
Clearly she is
>>16608242
Please do not spin on my face
But seriously, thats why Im so hurt and feel so disgusted.
>>16608245
I just cant understand. And right now Im not in a place to.
>>16607810
Girls always want what they can't have. Fucking be a bitch to her and talk to her about girl problems, even if they aren't real and she'll come running back.
As a grill, I've got one word of advice for you.
>>16607867
did you ever have a gf cheat on you
or a friend lie & fuck you over
people often misjudge character. it's normal.
she is a piece of shit, and you don't want to see that because you love her
Wow, she's a huge piece of shit
OP, stop doing this to yourself
>>16607810
>Best friend is a cute girl and we spend a lot of time together
The irony that comes with time with these questions is that asking these kinds of questions itself is a catch 22. The correct answer is never the answer you want to hear, you just want someone to validate your worries.
Sorry OP life is not merciful.
Listen to some death grips and become harden inside.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqcTVVUFnKQ
>>16608280
I cant be a bitch to someone I care about. Or to someone in general. But I dont want to hurt her. Or rather I hate the part of me that does.
>>16608265
I knew asking her out wouldnt end well but it was one of those things where it was becoming obvious that I was in love with her.
Maybe she knew and wanted me not to say anything. And now shes bitter that I did because she cant ignore it anymore.
>>16608287
Yeah Im done. I dont know what to do when I see her though. considering texting her and saying I dont want to talk to her but I feel like since were not really talking its uncalled for.
>>16608342
Better not tell her anything. Next time you see her, say hi, but don't actually have a conversation, get out as soon as possible. Keep it friendly/polite, but distant.
>>16607810
>tells me about a guy she just had sex with from tinder and how good it felt
this is the point where any self respecting person would have thrown that bitch right out onto the street
>>16608342
You are not a friend to her, anon. You are a warm body, that makes her feel good. She's not developed an identity, but that doesn't mean she's innocent.
>>16608259
fucking. This. OP. i was too in love with a friend, cut her out of my life and her bullshit.
your life will get better, guaranteed, with a seal of approval
and she will talk to you back 100% confirmed, and RULE #1 never be friends with the girl you like
>>16608424
what do you mean warm body?
>>16608509
I didnt ask to fall for her. She just kept being cute and I noticed.
Shes trying to turn you into a cuck.
She felt your boner and you seriously didn't try to fuck her?
WHAT THE FUCK OP
THATS A GREEN LIGHT FROM HEAVEN.
ANY WOMAN ON THE PLANET THAT DOESN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU WOULD DEESCALATE THE SITUATION BY GETTING THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU.
Girls aren't fucking clueless. They know what a boner is and why guys get one.
>>16608576
>what do you mean warm body?
A being who is alive
Golly Jee, Anon. It's never too late to realise how much of a bitch a woman can be. And by "can be" I actually mean "constantly is, directed by her nature".
Want me to explain it to you in baby steps? She doesn't actually have any feelings for you and neither does she want you. However she doesn't want any other women to have or want you. Think of a fifth grader and the homemade lunch from their mother. God that fifth grader hates this specific lunch but she would rather spit on it than giving it to someone else.
Basically, you are her cucked best friend. She fears to be alone some day, left alone or even just simply bored and you are just going to act for her amusement. You having a girlfriend for that matter will make her fear for you not being aviable anymore when that time comes.
To sum it up OP: You're her toy for the boring times and not seen as a equal human. Abort and search for someone who values you as much as you value them.
Side tip: When a woman which you want starts to gossip with you or tells you about other guys it's done and too late. You're not seen as a man in her eyes.
>>16607810
Okay anon, femanon here;
being "a good friend" goes both ways. Friendship is a two-way street. Right now, the girl isn't being a good friend. She's aware of your feelings but seems to sort of use you as a comfort blanket - your adoration and love feel good when she's being rejected by other men, the validation you give is valuable to her, but at the same time, she's not romantically attracted to you. She likes your presence and the comforting validation, so when she saw you acting gallant for some other girl, she got scared some other girl might snatch her comfort blanket from her, and sort of re-established her dominion over you through wanting to see you and cuddling, to remind you that your her bestie, but at the same time talking about other guys so you wouldn't get the wrong idea and think that she's romantically interested in you now. Essentially, she's thinking about her own feelings and what's comfortable for her, and not really thinking at all about how you feel. So it's not necessarily intentional cruelty, she could just be clueless and a bit selfish.
>>16608800
contd.
The thing is, this sort of endless doormat accommodation in the hopes of worming your way under the door to her heart under the guise of friendship never works. It's pathetic. Love doesn't spring out of pity. If you don't respect yourself and your feelings, other people will sense it and also won't respect you - they'll follow your lead.
Since the shift in the dynamic between you (you airing the romantic feelings, she rejecting) is so new, it's possible she's not intentionally being a bitch and is just testing the waters to see what the relationship between you is at now, what she can do,so to say. She might be a bit confused herself, too, but I must say that flaunting how awesome sex with other men feels like to your face when she knows you fancy her seems quite cruel, so she might not be the kind girl you thought you knew. But again, maybe she just didn't think.
Anyway at this stage, you must stand up for yourself. Tell her that while you want to remain her friend (do you though? Think this through), you don't feel comfortable cuddling and you absolutely do not want to hear about the other men she's had sex with. You can say that she knows that you have some feelings for her, and that it's painful for you to hear about that stuff, and you wish she understands.
If she is a nice person who cares for you at all, she'll feel bad and apologise. If she'll try to pout and tantrum and bullshit that she should have a right to act this way, she's not who you thought and you should find other friends and find a new girl, as she's not worth your validating comforting.
Hello OP. I find myself in a similar position like you. She is not into you, she is only into your attention. Deny her that and you will gain an upper hand. Still probably won't bang the girl but at least you can act like its the last thing you would do, just to piss her off. Cheers
>>16607867
She's doing it to you as we speak. It's possible she doesn't realise it herself if she's not the type to anlayse critically her own emotions or impulses and instead just does as the feelings tell her, so maybe - maybe - she doesn't mean to be so cruel.
But it's not good that around this one cuddling session, she went no-contact for a week on either end. Sure maybe she's confused because the relationship dynamic changed or whatever but it's still best if you try to emotionally build up fortitude so that if your relationship sours, you can continue your life without her
feel awful that i drove off home when my gf stormed out of the car.
- she was drunk as shit
- mad that all of the people that knew me and said the obligated hello at some stupid bar (asshole faces from high school) didn't introduce themselves to her
- she wrote that off as shitty sexist "oh fuck this woman" sentiment
- got mad at me for something/fuckboys i have no control over or care about
- argument stems out of that
- I try to explain they're just dumb/intimidated by someone they're not familiar with or just doing the obligated home for the holidays 'hey' but instead says i'm trying to tell her that her feelings are wrong.
- she punches me and my car and runs away.
- expects me to follow her that whole shit
- i'm pissed, but want to give her her space and drive home
- she calls her mom @ 1 am to pick her up.
- calls me to tell me insensitive and stupid all night.
- asks me how could i do this? the day before her granddads gravestone unveiling.
all of this is getting to me right now. i feel awful. as i type this i feel that i'm trying to validate that i'm right or sound like a whiny male douche. am i?
i'm a shithead/terrible person too.
>>16607850
>>16607867
>>16608182
>Shes not the type to intentionally try to hurt people so I dont know what shes thinking
You would be surprised of what she would really think. Until proven otherwise, consider yourself as either a toy or a dancing monkey to her. Once you'll stop doing this, sh'll lose interest in you, which is why she suddenly stopped answering your texts, and she began answering again once she understood that you were playing again.
The "red pill" is a bitter one to swallow at the beggining, but it softens after a while
>>16609956
What is this redpill meme. Ive never understood what it was supposed to mean.
>>16608875
Nah dude your gf was in the wrong. She got exactly what she wanted. She has no right to expect that you'd run after her in the rain at 1 am after she's started an argument basically over nothing, gotten unfairly angry at you over what someone else did and even punched you. "How could you do this" ffs who the fuck does she think she is, and why was she getting shitfaced the day before her granddads gravestone unveiling if it means so much to her?
If it's actually getting you she's apparently a pretty good manipulator or you're a spineless doormat. Fuck girls are people like everyone else and responsible for their own actions like everyone else. You can't be a drunken asshole and assault people and then expect them to still cater to your every whim and run after you. You don't get to be angry over something like that.
Damn OP . . . I once laid in this girl bed watching some anime shit momoko movie. We never humped then, movie over. Coulda maybe kissed. Didnt. Turns into bad stalker. No hygiene . . Fucked her a year later been 4 months since i seen her. . .
Anyways I digress. Sounds twiztid OP . . .
Dont rape her . . . Maybe get drunk / high with her and see what happens. A few other anons said good stuff. Stay healthy nig nog . . You in a situation alright.
Every single anon here has told you that she is toxic. This relationship, friends or romantic, is not a good one for you. Past us all pointing it out to you, there is nothing else to be gained from this thread. I don't know what else you expected from this? Of course you'd feel like shit after she does this to you. They are shitty actions.
Follow the advice in the thread. Cut contact with her. If you can't do that cold turkey, text her and say 'Hey, I really don't feel good about these things that have happened between us.' Explain them to her. Either she'll change(she won't) or you'll see her not changing making the decision easier. Make your life a little easier on yourself, man.
>>16610010
I'm this anon. ^
>>16608800
This is on point. Have some self-respect for yourself and what you expect from friendships.
>>16609966
Have you seen Matrix? If yes, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks. If not, I'll give a quick explaining
>>16610038
Red pill was the one out of the matrix right? Thats all I remember.
>>16609966
redpill means facing reality. blue pill means living in delusion.
>>16610059
So redpill is just saying reality is shitty?
>>16607810
You're an emotional tampon and that's all you'll ever be to her, unless you come across millions of dollars.
>>16610054
That's the first part of it
>>16610059
good tl;dr
>>16610063
Shitty isn't the word I would have ued, but rather, "harsh, and you were "threatened" by something outside of the "matrix". You felt it, but couldn't identify it
You are at the first part of the redpill. You had the truth exposed in front of your eyes. You're denying it for now, but I really hope you'll see clear in her game, and act in consequence
I really wish you'll figure it all out, stop being her toy/dancing monkey and live happy after this experience.
You might need another red pill if things turns out the same way, but you should be ok.
You left in good terms, so let it be. It's highly likely that if you don't call/text her back, she won't either
Sorry OP but like others says you are a prime case of emotional tampon.
When a girl is venting her emotions to you about other guys you know you are one. How she felt so good with her tinder date, how she misses her ex. Snap out of it demand mutual respect or leave her
>>16609966
the redpill exposes the truth about the world for example how Disney movies lie to you by telling you to be the "nice guy" will get you the girl but instead all it got you was explotation and manipulation from her part. the reality is that all the bad boys are getting all the action and turning women into single mothers. the only time she will side with the nice guy is when her looks fade away and she needs a beta provider like op.
>>16609966
H I G H S C H O OL
>>16607810
buddy, here is the deal
you are this girl's safety net. if she can't get the attention she wants, at least she can get some from you
but when hotguy.jpg comes along and wants to give her attention/the d/etc, she will drop you like the backup plan that you are.
bitches like this need one thing and one thing only: to be kicked to the fucking curb
now, if you want revenge, then you give her an ultimatum and use the fuck out of her - that will work on some of these user bitches
but in the long run she is not worth your time, fuck, not even worth the smoggy air she breathes
turn around and run the other way bro
>>16609966
It's based on the matrix, essentially an extremely negative worldview painting every single woman anywhere ever as a cold-hearted manipulative golddigger bitch only out to cuck men and steal their money, and claiming that having a loving, balanced relationship is impossible and you should just use and manipulate women as much as you can before they do it to you.
The redpill worldview does have some good points, because society - American society in particular - seems to have some really weird hangups about ridiculous princess treatment for women (all the expensive gifts, excusing ultra bitchy behaviour etc), and a lot of the alimony laws etc are genuinely fucked up, but a lot of it is also really over the top insane and seems to subscribe into a weird, completely bleak worldview where relationships are a cutthroat world of manipulation and taking advantage of other people and no real companionship can ever exist because "females" are like this foreign species who are all evil.
You were already her friend and she was already using you as her emotional tampon without giving you any sex. She had nothing to benefit by becoming your gf because you were already giving her everything she wanted from you.
Ignore and forget her m8
>>16610238
I'm inclined to point out that relationships are transactional in nature and therefore are cutthroat.
If you are a man and you lose your job for 6 months do you expect to still have that loving girlfriend? No?
Well there you go, that's what theredpill is reminding people
