Guess I should have put it in the new thread

Women. How many of you are the innocent, not slut type. Like the amount of sexual partners youve hand can be counted on 1 hand and theyve all been in committed relationships that have lasted more than a few months.
See while I was committed to being a virgin I pulled the trigger and had sex with the girl I thought I was going to marry. Some circumstances came up and a long distance relationship just didnt work out. But now that I have had sex I want it more. And the worst part is that girls try to seduce me.
Mentally I just want to give up and admit defeat because this is in general how I assume most women act. Like sluts. But really I just want to know that there are some others out there, that think sex is important and something to share with others only in the upmost important relationships. Just want to know that Im not alone and that theres hope for meeting a girl who shares my beliefs. Only thing keeping me from sleeping around right now.
Really one of the things pushing me to is the idea that my future wife is out hoeing about right now betraying my beliefs. I dont really plan of being the "innocent" type as some people have called me when the woman I later marry isnt. I mean part of doing it is for her. All probably also just feel resentment if I do and probably try to hurt her in some way as a response so Im considering sleeping around just to avoid the future nightmare.
I know Im just making excuses but these are some deep rooted fears and I dont really want to do it as well as I dont think my ideals are wrong.

Whats the best way to tell my girlfriend that I want to see her more often?

>>16607661
Yes they exist. I'm like that.

>>16607662
"I want to see you more often"

>>16607663
Do you also feel the same pressure?

>>16607675
Pressure to sleep around? No I don't think I've ever felt that thankfully.

>>16607661
I was with my first boyfriend for four years, but he ended up cheating on me. I had to dump him obviously. It hurt, but I moved on.

I was with my second boyfriend for three years. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to marry me someday and live together, all the stuff. But then one day, out of the blue, he told me he just didn't want to be together anymore, that he wanted to try being with other people. That hurt so much, but I've managed to get over it.

Now I'm dating around, and trying so hard to find a man who isn't an asshole. I haven't slept with anyone else. I know my worth. I'll find a guy who isn't a slut, and will treat me with kindness. I haven't met him yet, but I know he's out there, somewhere.

>>16607689
Pressure that youre not going to find someone who shares your beliefs and that its all for naught.

>>16607732
Oh I see, I'm sorry. Well I'm blessed to have found my partner pretty early in life. Before that I wasn't interested in and didn't think about relationships. I thought I'd just live alone, and I would have been fine like that. I'm just glad I did end up taking the chance, because it has made me happier than anything.

Don't give up hope, anon. I can assure you there are people out there with our values.

>>16607661
if sex is a basis of your life right now, and it's on your mind a lot, that has a lot to do with your hormones, or a taste of the waters, which ever you want to call it.
I would consider my self well seasoned, not a slut. I know what I'm doing and how to go around to getting it, but I do not open up to everyone, that is not how i work.
I feel like some men assume I'm flirting with them, when I am not, because they think i want it and I'm nice to them, so they put that assumption together and BOOM, they think I'm flirting, easy, and a slut. Different women have different amounts of sex and different ways they go about getting it, (or avoiding it)
if you're looking to settle down, do NOT worry about how much sex they've had or what ever else about sex, as long as you love them and you the sex is good between the two of YOU, that's how it should be. Think more long term when it comes to dating someone
First date, no sex, in my opinion, even as a non-virgin, you hold off that night! If they seem flirty and sexual, and they're able to wait for another date and still enjoy that night with you, that's a keeper!
Learn to trust women, if you have issues with that, tell them that you have issues with that, and try to build a way for them to prove that they can be faithful.

Good luck, happy dating!

>>16607801
>if you're looking to settle down, do NOT worry about how much sex they've had or what ever else about sex, as long as you love them and you the sex is good between the two of YOU
This is incredibly contradictory. If I think sex is super important and should only be had with only a select few who you truly love, and the girl has slept around a lot theres no way sex can be good.
Because for me sex will be no where near as romantic and I wont really see it that way so its a lost cause. Im also pretty sure Ill become resentful. The girl I lost it too and thought I was going to marry wasnt a virgin and now I kinda regret doing it with her. Like her sexual history always bothered me but I ignored it but in retrospect Im a little hurt by it. Of course Im not hung up on it but Im one to learn from my mistakes. I dont want to resent my wife so Id rather not put us in that position.

I am Austrian. I've lived in America for six years so I speak English fluently and my accent is very slight (similar ro Heidi Klum's accent in English). I am currently working as a receptionist at a tutoring center. There is this toddler who is half British (she learned German last year and doesn't speak German with ac accent). Is it rude of me to speak English to her when she speaks German to me?

>>16607843
Why wouldn't you talk to her in German? I'm pretty sure it'd be good for her to practice if she's in America, she's only going to get so much opportunity.
My parents learned German in college, but never taught me when I was a child, and I've been kind of frustrated about that, since I enjoy learning languages. but anyway.
I don't see anything wrong with it.

>>16607843
Well shes making an active effort to learn your language better. Unless its critical to get the conversation moving why not. It seems like you dont support her effort which she could interpret as rude.

>>16607851
>>16607854
I live in Austria now not in the states.
Sorry for the grammatical errors. It's early here and I am tired.

>>16607883
So... you dont support her effort and shes probably going to interpret it as rude. Glad we understand the situation now.

Here's the situation:

>25
>girl I've been enamored with since the 8th grade
>11 going on 12 years
>never kissed her, asked her out several times in HS, always got told no for various reasons
>but she always flirted with me because I helped her cheat on tests and gave her money
>talked to her one time since graduation and she said she "loves me" but was with someone at the time, but didn't hint at anything
>she's got two kids with two fathers now, works a dead-end job

I really really really want to get with her (not just sex but like marry this girl). I know I'm crazy as hell but, tell me, do I have a chance? I haven't spoken to her in years but she's single now and she still looks good. We don't live close anymore but I could either move back to my old stomping grounds or move her in with me.

I realize this sounds like a meth labs worth of bad ideas, but this is the only girl I've ever really cared about. I've had other relationships fail because of this girl and I think about her all the time, even all these years later. call it a high school sweetheart that never was but should have been.

I've also lost about 60 pounds since high school, still overweight but look a hell of a lot better, have a nice car/own my own business/house/etc. Not having luck with dating any local girls (and I've been trying for 3+ years) and I want to start a family.

So, uh, what should I do? And then ignoring that, how do I do what I know I shouldn't do but feel like I need to do?

I apologize for the blamering but Christmas time is drinking time and the only family I have to celebrate this holiday right now is my immediate. It's lonely in an empty house.

What do you have to lose by asking her out?

>>16607951

>and I want to start a family.

>she has 2 kids

You serious? She already has two kids, I wouldnt be surprised after two bad trips with two men she doesnt want to have anymore, you would effectively be blocking yourself from having kids and just raising other men's kids like a cuck

>>16607961
Meant for >>16607951

>>16607968

She's been a ho for 10+ years. She's used to the revolving door of men. She'll be fine.

>>16607961

Nothing, but it's a pride thing.

>>16607989
>Nothing, but it's a pride thing.
How so?

>>16607951
>I know I'm crazy as hell but, tell me, do I have a chance?
Considering the only thing she has going for her apparently is a potentially pretty face, probably.

> I want to start a family.
She already has one. In my experience not a lot of women are w illing to have more than 2, 3 kids. So good luck with that.

>>16607995

She never gave me the time in high school, so why should I come in and "save" her now?

Also, one kid is half-black, which is a major problem in the Southeast. Major problem. Two white kids wouldn't be a problem, but finding out she had a half-black one a few years ago really threw a wrench in the plan.

>>16608007
But she doesn't need you to save her. From what you've said, she's managing fine. Sounds like you're just resentful and want to make yourself feel better

>>16607951
KUCK
This is why women whore around. Though know some beta is going to save them. Im not even mad. Ive already started treating women like the whores they are. Enjoy my sloppy seconds.

>>16608012
Oh course he's resentful. And if you think shes managing just find you are crazy. A woman cant manage 2 kids on a dead end job. Shes probably struggling incredibly hard and working paycheck to paycheck and still probably not enough.
If it was just him itd be a different story but literally every girl I know whos a single mom and multiple kids has to rely on their parents to get by.

Women can I get your thoughts on >>16607810
tldr; asked best friend out and now relationship is shit and some guys are saying shes using me.

So I've started to realize my self worth and it's made me think that I don't need a relationship right now, at least for the time being.

The problem is that I've never been in a relationship and I constantly crave girls attention. How do I get over this?

>>16608026
Sounds like trouble

>>16608026
Drop her for someone who knows what she wants and is not afraid of a mature drama-free relationship. Similarly, act the same yourself.

>>16608033
Focus on activities that don't require a girlfriend.

>>16608020

Very resentful. I was the obvious best choice for her back then and she was too stupid for her own good.

And she doesn't do it by herself. Talking to some people I know that know her (small town where I used to live) the one kid is with the daddy's family half the time, the other kid the mom watches, she ain't doing shit but collecting benefits and working a labor job.

>>16608017

Call it a handicap. I walk with a cane because of service injuries, i ain't the purdiest motherfucker around, im still about 40-50 pounds overweight, so my options are limited.

a 6-7/10 single mom is about the best i can muster.

I want to spark up a conversation with a girl I haven't seen since middle school. She's pretty cute, and seems fun. How would I do this without being creepy? I wanna see if I can at least get her to agree to a coffee or lunch, and then maybe hit it off from there. How can I avoid coming off wrong?

I assume a clear majority of guys urinate in the shower (feel free to object) so this one is to the girls. Do you pee in the shower?

>>16608066
Yep like every time

>>16608066
Yep, it almost feels wrong if I don't. Why wouldn't I?

>>16608059
You asked this last thread and you got decent advice.

>>16608066
As a guy this is disgusting and I have never once done it.
This is the reason I wore flip flops in the shower at my uni. You guys are fucking disgusting.
>>16608070
>>16608076
Yep, I literally hate how disgusting people are. Not like I assumed this degeneracy was limited to guys but the thought that even girls under the high pressure of being at least somewhat lady like do this just assures me that you all are degenerates.

>>16608020
We don't know how she's managing, to be honest, and neither does the OP. We can't judge what position she's in because we don't know enough. And so what if she has support from her parents? It doesn't mean she needs his help

>>16608066
Favorite place to urinate, just be sure to follow the Marge Simpson rule.

>>16608089
It's just piss, get off your high horse.

>>16608040
Shes my best friend. As I said there, its not easy to accept being rejected and losing a best friend.
>>16608034
Can you elaborate on your thoughts.

>>16608089
Why so grossed out? It washes down the drain.

>>16608092
>the Marge Simpson rule.
What's that?

>>16608092
I don't know what that is, since I rarely watch The Simpsons
>google Marge Simpson Rule
>everything is Rule 34
lol

>>16608026
You said it's better that you're just friends when she says you're better off as friends, and you're surprised when she treats you like a friend? You have no reason to complain, you literally asked for this.

>>16608090
>Im doing just fine in life living in my mothers basement
Thats what your post sounds like to me.
>>16608044
Shes washed up in life. Its over. The japanese have a saying. Mono no aware. You gotta learn the accept that something beautiful is gone and faded away. You could have had something great. But it didnt happen because she was not ready when the time came.

>>16608089
Literally the cleanest way to take a pee

>>16608106
>Thats what your post sounds like to me.
My life is going pretty well. I have no investment in this guy's situation, I'm just telling it like I see it. You seem to be taking this situation pretty personally.

>>16608107
Plus saves water from flushing.

>>16608104
Do you cuddle with a guy after having sex with a different guy and talk about how you love your ex?
There are things that are too much for me no matter how much I love her.

>>16608089

I piss everywhere. Sink, toilet, shower, out the window, college was a big pissing game. Dorm hallway, In the lava lamp. marking your territory.

if you ain't into that, well, you ain't a man imo

>>16608107
>>16608113
>>16608099
>>16608096
Gonna take a leak on your windshield when its raining. Itll wash away right.
Time for me to join the degenerates of the world. Hello darkness. Im ready.

>>16608114

that's just cruel, unless she's trying to encourage you to do her.

next time you have her over and shes doing that, tell her to be quiet and take control of the situation. it's either rape or a relationship!

>don't take my advice, just dump her bro bro

>>16608114
I don't personally, but there are obviously girls out there who do. You're responsible for your feelings too, and if it made you uncomfortable, you could have said so and you could have removed yourself from the situation. You told her you were okay with being friends, so she's treating you like she would a friend.

>>16608112
>I cant read a metaphor
It didnt have anything to do with your personal life. I was implying my greentext and her situation was similar. Are you new to 4chan and dont understand greentext.

>>16608127
>ignoring the rest of what I said
Why are you so mad about this? How does this one girl affect your personal life?

>>16608122
>There are probably women who actually believe this.
justaboutdone.jpg

>>16608120
>urinating on a surface that drains into a mechanism that sprays onto a vehicle
>urinating into a sanitation device literally used for disposal of bodily waste product which goes to the sewer system
NICE COMPARISON. Not that you would notice the urine after that much dilution anyway.

>>16608133
Are you saying that OP's hurt fee fees are all her fault and that there was nothing that he could have done about this?

>>16608132
Your post was an attack on me and I did you the kindness of assuming it was based off your misunderstanding. I dont care about her situation. The post you made that I responded to was just wrong though.

>>16608127
I'm not even that anon, but it did sound like you were personally calling the other anon a NEET. You are confusing.

>>16608140
My post was not an attack on you at all. I was commenting that you're making assumptions about her and seem to be getting pretty upset when I disagreed with you, which you would have no reason to do if you didn't care about her.

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>>16608120
>triggered by people peeing in their own showers

>>16608102
>>16608099
In one episode Marge and Homer had an argument about this point, in the end Marge says, "I don't mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you're taking a shower."

>>16608150
Well yeah. People who pee in the shower don't make a special effort to do it. They do it while they're taking a shower. Who the fuck specially gets in the shower to piss?

>>16608122
She doesnt treat her other friends like this. Just me. And she didnt do go that far before I confessed.
>>16608121
I dont want to lose my best friend. Im just angry and disgusted at both of us. Not even sure if I want to date anymore.

>>16608154
Homer Simpson.

>>16608158
>I dont want to lose my best friend.
Set boundaries then.

>>16608150
Thanks

>>16608154
Yes, that's the joke

>>16608158
>She doesnt treat her other friends like this.
How would you know?

>And she didnt do go that far before I confessed.
Well then maybe she's doing this as a clear sign that you're friendzoned and as a way of not leading you on.

And in the end, it's still up to you to remove yourself from the situation if you're not comfortable with it - whether she's playing you or not.

>>16608145
My assumption is from experience and has already been confirmed. Your defense was that leeching off your parents was fine and I gave the basement analogy.
Just accept that your original statement was wrong.

>>16608136
Rain washes the air and nature right. My pee is perfectly natural. Expect me.
>>16608148
>people drink their own piss
People are sick. I just get triggered by the fact that there are faggots like you who would probably offer someone a glass without seeing whats wrong.

Do women find it hot if a guy cums from foreplay/deep intimacy?

Sometimes when I get really intimate with my gf I'll jizz before we even get to sex. Things like kissing various body parts, grinding, carresing her body, hearing her heavy breathing. Stuff like that. It just turns me on so much that she's so into it that sometimes I climax before we do any real sex. She has told me she doesn't mind it but I'm wondering how other women feel about it.

Personally I think it's embaressing that I cum that easily.

>>16608171
Does it stop all play?
If no, I'd love it. I've been with a guy who absolutely never came, so it'd be nice to be with someone who was simpler. It'd be easier to please you and I would feel really attractive.

>>16608171
Can you still ejaculate during the main event? If so, you should be fine, just let her get you off during foreplay instead of doing it on your own.

If ejaculating early prevents you from getting off after, then you should practice holding back and instead focus on her during foreplay, fingering her and eating her out more.

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>>16608164
>there are probably women who would only kiss you after sucking someone dick to let you know youre in the friendzone

>>16608171
Like the other anons said, as long as the session continues fluidly, I find it extremely hot. I still remember when my guy came just from eating me out. Seeing him not be able to control himself because he was so overtaken by desire, to the point of having a no-hands orgasm, was amazing.

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>>16608169
>he doesn't drink his own pee

>>16608183
>>16608196
>>16608203
It doesn't interrupt the play or stop the flow or anything. It usually is the point where we start undressing (because I hate the feeling of jizz filled pants). I Usually spend the next part pleasing her while I "recharge". Then it goes back to more back and forth. At least I last a lot longer the second time lol.

>>16608066
Yes. It's actually a common recommendation to help save water when reserves are low. I can't believe there are anons ruffled by this.

Asking girls primarily:

How do I know if someone is only interested in me as a friend or if she wants more?

I'm thinking of asking someone out but am a little bit terrified that I've misinterpreted signals and that she'll be like "what you're not asking me out are you?" and will only want to hang out as friends and will think I'm crazy for thinking that she wanted to be more than friends

I don't want to be seen as 'that autist who can't into body language and social signals' but I just have no idea whether what I thought was signs of affection may have just been friendliness

I know the obvious answer is 'just ask her out and see' but aren't most people able to tell the difference between affection and normal kindness? After all why else do we constantly see guys getting mocked for misinterpreting these signals?

I don't want to make a fool of myself by asking someone out who only sees me as a friend so how do I tell the difference?

>>16608261
This is in the OP

>>16608261
>aren't most people able to tell the difference between affection and normal kindness?
I'm sorry to say, but no. Everyone is taking a chance every time they ask someone out.

Femanons,
If a girl who was once close to me ditches me after acquiring other friends is it safe to say she just valued me as a source of attention?

>>16608315
No, you were just a placeholder until she made some proper friends. It's not unusual for people to do that.

Guys, how fat is too fat? Is there a difference between a girl you'd want to date vs a girl you'd just fuck?

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>>16608320
That was sort of the feeling I was getting. Oh well.

>>16608349
I wouldnt want to date or fuck a fat girl.
Sexually speaking, I like girls with boobs and ass that jiggle a little. I can ignore a small about of fat for that. Aesthetically speaking I am a huge fan of the hour glass and dont really date outside of that because I see women like that as honest gluttons and not appealing. but for a lay its different. Of course when Id date a girl I would lay, but I look for different things is just what Im saying. Also no matter what if you weigh more than 160 and arent 6' youre too fat.

>>16608315
yeah you were attention. But girls seek attention from other girls. Women do not like to be alone under any circumstance. Ive had girls Ive treated like shit follow me around because there was no one else.
You blew it, if you pushed you could have easily gotten a blowjob out of it if you threatened to leave.

>>16608349
Not really sure as I am not even into a little bit of chub. I would not want a relationship with anyone overweight (how can you take care of kids if you can't take care of yourself?) but with a one-night stand I assume people would be more lenient with weight (but still, do not want).

>>16608273
Well I know the OP says you have to ask them out to be CERTAIN but aren't there signs?

>>16608295
Yeah it's a chance but then why do people always admonish people for not being able to read signals and body language? Like on Reddit women always complain that they can't be nice without someone misinterpreting it as affection so that's what I want to avoid

Obviously I know people are dicks but how can it be that no one has any idea?

Like for example she's made a joke about how I'd have a bunch of girls following me on campus, has come up and hugged me randomly (not sure if she was drunk), sometimes grabs my hair and that kind of stuff

>>16608375
That wasn't the kind of deal I was in for. I just wanted to keep a friend [spoiler];_;[/spoiler]

>>16608412
>That wasn't the kind of deal I was in for.
Are you a fag. As a man you take any and every blowjob you can get from a female.

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>>16608425

get ready stud

you arent a fag are you

>>16608379
I'd say these are good signs, but you should ask a friend who knows her too. Tell him/her you're thinking about asking this girl out and what do they think she might say. They might have a more accurate perception of how she is around you.

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>>16608349
>Guys, how fat is too fat?
Varies per guy. I'm a chubby chaser and pic related is my ideal. Other guys would find it a deal breaker. That said, I suspect that more men prefer petite women than not.

>Is there a difference between a girl you'd want to date vs a girl you'd just fuck?
If casual sex was something that actually appealed to me, probably. There are lots of girls I find attractive, but wouldn't date for various reasons.

>>16608447
I hope you know there's a lot of blurring in that photo

>>16608376
What do you consider overweight? Are you going by BMI, or something else?

>>16608349
As long as you aren'taren't regularly described as "obese" you're fine. Other than that, it's all in the girl's mentality for me. If she's making an effort to improve her self then that can make her more attractive than an average skinny girl in my eyes.

>>16608489
visual impression, but BMI is a very solid indicator.
eg.
>>16608447
is borderline for casual sex (assuming above-average attractive face). I would expect her to lose some for a relationship.

>>16608482
My SFW stuff is a bit limited, so oh well

>>16608499
I think mods are fine with off-site linking on /adv/ if it's reference.

>>16608447
>petite
That word doesn't mean what you think it means.

>>16608315
Yes.

>>16608261
>After all why else do we constantly see guys getting mocked for misinterpreting these signals?
Because girls want to be flirty by default and need to find a way to validate their behavior.

>>16608171
As long as you can still fuck it's all good.

>>16608537
>That word doesn't mean what you think it means.
I wasnt referring to that picture m8. I was basically saying my preference is the exception.

>>16608430
Well its implied that its a human female. Bestiality isnt even legal and its just wrong.

Ladies:

I asked the girl I liked out on a date about a year ago, and she accepted, but before we even went out, I got cold feet and canceled. The reason being I got some particularly bad news that week that made me realize I wasn't ready for a relationship. I told her as much up front, but I felt like shit for doing it regardless.

Here we are over a year later, and I still cannot stop thinking about this girl.

I want to ask her out on a date again. Even if its not a real date, just sitting down together and holding a conversation we could have had over a year ago would be enough.

Tell me straight, ladies. Should I fuck right off or hit her up?

>>16608510
>/adv/
>mods

Haha
Good one

>>16608553
Nothing to lose by trying, but if I were in her position, I'd say no.

>>16608558
Yea, I would too.

Women: how often/how much would you say your boyfriends get all weird and insecure about your exes? What has been the weirdest shit they have pulled, or made you pull, because of that?

>>16608555
I'm used to boards with troublemods and janitors. Here is nice and chill.

Guys, have you ever stuffed your pants?

>>16608626
Nope. Have you stuffed your bra?

Any woman here with a gangbang fetish I must ask you Why?

What's the reason for wanting this?

Got some important research goin on here

>>16608666
I do. I can't really explain why. There's something sexy about having all your holes filled, or just a lot of men desiring you.
But fantasizing about it and doing it are very different things, specially because I don't think I can have sex with strangers and I don't think I could endure the humiliation of doing it with guys I know either.

>>16608626
no. because if a girls looking there she's already interested

>>16608546
Petite means short, not skinny.

>>16608553
Don't be a pussy.

>>16608578
Never happened.

How do 4chan post numbers work? Are they separate for each board?

>>16608700
Yep.
I am replying to /adv/'s 16608700th post. Nice dubs, and wrong thread.

>>16608700
Which gender are you asking to answer this?

>>16608702
Sorry, I already started 5 threads on /adv/ so I can't create my own thread.

>>16608706
Try /qa/ or https://www.reddit.com/r/firstdayontheinternet

>>16608706
>I already started 5 threads on /adv/
Why on earth do you have 5 active threads

As a guy, is it really odd that I listen to Justin Bieber? Really, all pop artists sound similar these days.

>>16608700
>>16608706
Jesus christ


>>16608710
Not really

why does my gf ask me what when I chuckle at small things

>>16608768
You two don't talk enough and your hair smells like kebab that's why

>>16607661
You aren't going to find any woman in the world who isn't a "slut type", I take offence your statement. I've had sex with 14 guys but I dated every single one of them for a month or two before hand. Does that make me a slut? No, did I want those relationships to last longer than a month? Yes I did, I tried my best in every single relationship I've ever had, except for one; but that was because I really didn't want to date him and I did not even have sex with. No one likes an "innocent girl" all men want is a girl who will be loyal and truthful with an ability to suck dick well.

People have sex, people have lots and lots of sex, everywhere all over the world people are having sex, some are consensual some are not. That doesn't have to define who you are in a negative light. You sound like you've literally just turned 18 and you had your first time and it went to shit because your girlfriend left you; so now you're afraid. Don't take it out on other women who have you never even met or even hurt you before. If it doesn't work out with that person in a relationship you just keep moving on, give every relationship your all and be loyal. Your life is too short to try and be perfect, just wrap your dick, don't get her pregnant and you're fine.

>>16608858
>You aren't going to find any woman in the world who isn't a "slut type"
If he's looking for a woman that has slept with <5 guys as he says, it's not really that hard. In the circles I run with it's pretty rare to have double digit partners, and it's not like I go to church either.

feel awful that i drove off home when my gf stormed out of the car.

- she was drunk as shit
- mad that all of the people that knew me and said the obligated hello at some stupid bar (asshole faces from high school) didn't introduce themselves to her
- she wrote that off as shitty sexist "oh fuck this woman" sentiment
- got mad at me for something/fuckboys i have no control over or care about
- argument stems out of that
- I try to explain they're just dumb/intimidated by someone they're not familiar with or just doing the obligated home for the holidays 'hey' but instead says i'm trying to tell her that her feelings are wrong.
- she punches me and my car and runs away.
- expects me to follow her that whole shit
- i'm pissed, but want to give her her space and drive home
- she calls her mom @ 1 am to pick her up.
- calls me to tell me insensitive and stupid all night.
- asks me how could i do this? the day before her granddads gravestone unveiling.


all of this is getting to me right now. i feel awful. as i type this i feel that i'm trying to validate that i'm right or sound like a whiny male douche. am i?

i'm a shithead/terrible person too.

I've been thinking of getting to know someone and build up a relationship, but I would be studying overseas for 7 months. Is it a good idea to still ask her out?

>>16608879
Your woman sounds crazy. Did those people even know her relation to you?

There's a reason people are supposed to sleep on it, rather than act out of anger. It's because people do stupid shit when they talk out of anger. At the end of the day she hit you and insulted you, and I'd almost bet money she's going to just blame it all on the alcohol. What's going on with her grandfather isn't an excuse to act like a child either.

>>16608906
no, not at all. these are people who i haven't seen for about a year and have no relationship with other than we graduated from the same small high school 5 years ago.

>>16608916
Yeah, in your position I'd think long and hard if this is a woman you want to be with for the long term. Especially based on her conduct tomorrow or whenever it is you talk next.

>>16608898
depends on when you're leaving.
best bet is to tell her how you feel and the issue, hang out/get really tight and get to know them, keep talking while you're away and then hang out when you're back.

>>16608898
Nope. Secure your own future before you settle down, anon. Achieve success and the rest will follow.

>>16608879
Would just leave her really. She sounds like she has way too much baggage already let alone in the future.

Women, besides an outright dating site, what site would be my best bet in meeting women online? I don't have a facebook and I think it might be weird if I make one with no friends added and go around adding girls.

Ok so girls my question is would you date someone who's self centered? Assuming he's actually kind, goes out of his way for people, is confident and has a career. But has a tendency to always relate everything said to himself and most of interactions involve him talking about him or his opinions about your own inputs.

Basically I just realized I'm a really self centered guy. In the past few days I've been working to fix it, and now that I realized I'm doing it (steering communication back to me) I realize how ridiculously often I do it. I'm trying to only talk about myself if someone asks. I'm slipping up a lot but getting better. So, I want to see how harming it really was to my social and love life for motivation to stop. I understand the irony of this post.

Girl here. I will start teaching at a high school soon. Should I stop wearing a bikini to this beach close to the school? It seems too revealing to wear that.

>>16608944
I need more information: why do you want to meet women online vs through mutual friends in person?

>>16609129
Stop fucking asking this question, I'm getting sick of seeing you on here.

>>16609165
I only asked this once before.

Guys: I have a pair of A cups. Do you think it is a good idea for me to wear a bikini when my bust is so small? What kind of bikini do you think looks best on a small chested gifl.

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>>16609203
Yes, and either pic related or a regular two piece.

Feel free to experiment though.

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>>16609203
yeah, unless they're wicked pointy. you should take advantage of not having much to hold down and get some asymmetrical suit with straps in weird places. pic related but not recommended because that suit is kindof ugly.

>>16609256
Do you think one piece or two piece swimsuit is better?

>>16609129
If you think its a bad idea, then don't do it.

I work for a school, they even tell us we should not post anything slightly political on facebook because parents are known to search through teachers' online profiles.

Kids even search that shit and have ruined lives before.

>a substitute teacher did porn when she was younger, she was found by kids in my school district
>a drunken picture of a teacher kicking a lambo was found by students.

I was taking a class at my uni and the godmother of one of my students was coincidentally in the class. She saw me whip out a cigarette, and suddenly rumors start about me being a party girl.

Do not do anything that would make you think "Oh, a parent may not like that." Everyone is watching.

>>16609275
One piece for the pool
Two piece for the beach

>>16608879
>the day before her granddads gravestone unveiling.
It sounds like she's grieving. I'd give her some time. Grief can make you hyper sensitive and she's not going to be able to see that until she's through this.

I was going out with a girl, we were kissing on her bed when she suddenly looked really worried. She seemed off the rest of the day. The following week we were kissing at my house, again she freaked out and said she wasn't in love with me. The next day we met, she said she still had feelings for someone back in Austria. I don't know if she is lying or just used it as an excuse because she felt guilty for sleeping with someone else. Do I confront her about it? I might be really paranoid.

>>16608261
The reason why that's in the OP is that we can't really know over text. If we stood there with you as a fly on the wall and watched her interact with you, it's possible we could figure it out.
But you laying out what you see, we can't know if you're blowing it out of proportion. Or if you're being oblivious to obvious signs.

>>16609011
Those kind of people I don't want to be friends with, much less date.
There's two sides to this. You've gotta talk about yourself less, but ask about them more. As you've discovered, people love talking about themselves. They will like you more if you give them an opportunity to talk about themselves.

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Am I a bad person if I love my biological daughter more than my wife's daughter? The father of her daughter was killed in a motorcycle accident four years before we met. We've been married for three years (together seven).

If our house caught fire, I'd save my wife first, then my daughter, then her daughter. Am I a despicable person? I can't help it.

>>16609436
No it's quite normal.

My girl is too shy, kinda refuses intimacy or something like that

Now we're in a distance relationship for some months due to work, I can't help but be horny all the damn time and i'm trying my best to get her to open up a bit (nudes and shit like that), but I don't know how to approach her for that

Any advice girls ?

>>16609381
>>16608906
>>16608938
That's what I feel like too. Part of me feels like she's still grieving. I've seen her get sensitive from other things like when she's insecure where she'll usually mask it by making slight or blatant judgments on things or people's values/faults/art.I get and feel what she does, we all have our way of going about things, but it gets to a frustrated point where I agree it's still no excuse to act childish, even if you're wasted.


Just talked with her sobered up. She's depressed about the incident but still feels I abandoned her. I feel awful/awkward as shit she had to wake up her mom who's such a sweet lady and deals with a shit ton.

Been with her for 8 months now. I've done my best. We've gotten into healthy w/e arguments. This one's the worst though. Gonna take some distance off I think.

>>16609395
Just ask her for a straight response how she feels about you and your guys' relationship. Be transparent and tell her you deserve the same. It'll suck but bring less anxiety and wastes less time/energy in the end.

>>16609523
She said she only sees us as friends. That's fine, she can do what she wants but I keep beating myself up thinking that she slept with someone whilst we were going out. I want to know if she did or not. Do I ask her or let it go?

>>16609543
did you guys fuck ?

>>16609547
No, every time we got close to she looked worried

>>16609543
Anon she sees you as friends, you were never going out.

>>16609558
We kissed and hugged, she initiated a lot of it. She would hold my hand. She introduced me to her friends. Why would she do all this if we were never going out?

>>16609573
Because she is insane

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>>16609579
I think so

>>16609555
>>16609573

I mean, were you guys ever officially monogamous....?
If not then many things can respectfully be fair game...

If you really feel used or upset, then I guess you guys can have a drink and have clear talk about it but that might be kinda heavy handed to your guy's friendship.

>>16609579
Lol

>>16608864
I stand by my statement.

>>16609436
As long as you don't show it in front of your stepdaughter. Be as good a dad to her as you would your own daughter. Hopefully your house will never catch fire and you'll never know.

>>16609599
She* will never know, sorry.

>>16609436
No that's normal, your daughter is YOUR daughter, she came from YOU. Your animals/maternal instincts know to protect her because she carries your bloodline.

To girls. Do you send nude selfies to your bf by yourself or does he have to ask for them?

I know that this is a silly question, but I'm really curious about this.

Hey girls, what's the chance of this girl telling the truth?
I asked her to meet up on Tinder two weeks ago, a couple minutes ago she answered she would love to, and that she's sorry he did't have Wi-Fi to access tinder in the last weeks

>>16609743
Nah, white lie. Move on, she just basks in your attention

>>16609727
I think it would have to develop naturally. I wouldn't send him nudes out of the blue the first time. It should be a bit more playful. But after a while i probably would send him random shower pics or something

>>16609760
I just think she doesn't love me as much as she did love her ex. I know from shady sources that she sent nudes to him. I never got any ;_;
Thanks for replying to my post.

How do I cultivate a personality that's attractive to female shut-ins looking for marriage? Country girls would be a plus.

>>16609743
what a lie lmao

>>16609768
Ask once. Reply in kind. Likely a a willing frequent exchange will ensue.

>18 college freshman
>transferring out of a public uni to a private one
>solid 8/10

What I'm wondering is how to get to the point where you have casual sex with a girl. I'm too nice and shy so the people I have sex with automatically assume I want to pursue a relationship.

How do I start having casual sex?

>>16609900
You just do what ever you do to get sex and then just dumb them the next morning

>>16609906
I was unofficially dating this one girl a month before winter break and we both slowly started ignoring each other when it came time for winter break. When we were together she always thought she wasn't good enough for me + she said I was the biggest she's ever had ("8 1/2).

Do you think she will come back for casual sex after the break?

>>16609958
Does it matter?
It's not really casual if you get hang up on one girl.

You obviously get a lot of attention, just say to them you want casual sex. They either agree or not and then you move on.

Gals: if you've never seen a guy in a relationship or dedicated to one girl before, does this put you off?

>>16609969

Damn, alright. I guess I should have hit once and left. She started to cook for me and a did bunch of other stuff that made me catch feelings for her.

Thanks

>>16610017
Like i'm not saying that you can't sleep with her again.

But the point is that you just have to say you just want to sleep with her. And if shes down for that and was a great fuck then good for you.

If she was mediocre at best then you shouldn't return there if you want casual sex.

>>16609772
fuck off truckerfag
go back to /o/

>>16610028
NO U

>>16609203
You can get away with things that large breasted women can't, like a strapless bikini, or a halter style that would dig into their neck.

>>16608349
I like to see a hip bone or rib even if it's only in a certain angle like laying down or leaning back. s Long as they pop out doing that, she's in.

>>16608578
I don't have any exes

Girls: So last night a qt promised me more nudes today. This morning I said good morning and she hasn't responded yet

So um what do i say now... do i leave it or is there anything i can say to get you to pls respond

>>16610118
don't reply, she got your message.

Girls: how to find the sweet spot when chasing a girl, without looking "too soft" and "not really interested" at one side or "too hard" and "desperate" at the other?

>>16609980
If he's just never had a relationship or sex ever, that's a huge plus. If he's never had a relationship but has had casual sex, that's pretty much a deal breaker.

>>16609980
I don't mind. I wouldn't call it a plus but I wouldn't call it a minus either.

>>16610133
i just really want to see more nudes

i just wish there was something i could do to make it happen

>>16610137
For me its the difference between a guy wanting to include me in his already intersting life vs. include himself into mine. For example, "hey I'm going to go do XYZ tomorrow, you should come" as opposed to "what are you doing? Want to do something with me?"

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One of the few girls Ive gotten close to in my life started working at the same job Ive been at for 3 years a couple months ago. We met in middle school via myspace, chatted for hours, end up going to different high schools. She asked me to be her bf as a freshman and I turned her down. Stop talking. We communicated occasionally throughout the years. She offered me a blow job once but I never made much out of it figuring she was joking.

After graduating we hung out a few times, which was a rare thing since we never ran into each other much in person at that point. Had my first kiss (she probably slept with a couple guys at that point. Never really bothered me at that point). Things were going smooth, but I cut contact with her before things took off. I had become paranoid shed end up cheating on me and I figured I would meet more girls in college.

Flash forward 5 years and now and now were coworkers. She gave me a nice warm hello the first day and we kept some space. After a few weeks I asked her if she'd like to hang outside work sometime and she gave me a reluctant maybe. After another week or so I ask her out to a party and she tells me she cant because she has a boyfriend. I was kind of shocked, but kept my cool. I figured she would of told me sooner. We talk at work still but, there are a few guys who try hanging around her when they can. Shes easy on the eyes, with a nice friendly personality. I sort of wonder if she leads any of them on intentionally.

I dont know. I know I closed the door on my own years ago. But I cant stop thinking about her. I feel like Ive fallen for this girl hard. I made a joke to her last week about when I could take her out on a date. She turned more red than Ive ever seen her and she said the same "I have a boyfriend" deal.

I dont want her to cheat on the guy, nor do I want to end a relationship for me. But damn, I want another chance.

Any /adv/ice?

Ladies;

My gf and I will be getting away for a weekend. She wants to go all natural. This shit is going to be fun, but we're nervous. How do we have unprotected sex for hours without getting pregnant?

>>16610168
I want to point out that this looks like quality advice to me

>>16610168
This is quite interesting... thank you.

>>16610216
Has she been on the pill for more than two weeks? Does she have the implant? Copper T? The ring?
Load her vag up with spermicide, but you should really combine it with something.

>>16610168
I'm thinking more along the lines on how much should I contact her, ask her on dates, this kind of thing. Although that piece of advice is really good - you basically explained why I always felt my ex-fiancée was a drag.

>>16607657
Women: what do you do with a guy that is obviously, painfully, in love with you? Can you keep him as a friend? Or do you need to cut him off?

>>16610242
Implant?
Copper T sounds painful
I don't know about the ring
She'll have been on it for a month by the date. We both thought about the spermicide.

>>16610164

just distract yourself until she replies

Girls, how often do you like talking on the phone with someone you're dating?

>>16610265
Dude. You two need to do some googling on birth control options. I'm sorry that your sex education let you down. I say this seriously. You don't even know the options available to you. They should have taught you this.
She especially should be looking into this. Because it's her that will be effected. All of them have their own plusses and minuses and side effects. I'll give you a sense of what they are, but please look them up.
Neither the implant nor the copper T are painful. The implant is, well, an implant that is surgically installed subdermally, typically the arm. It releases hormones that prevent pregnancy, much like the pill.
The copper T is installed in the uterus. It has a similar effect. The ring is a rubber ring that secrets hormones through the vaginal wall. She shoves it up in herself.
All of them are a little different in the kinds of hormones and the effects it'll have.

Personally I'm on the second dosage of the pill. I like having my periods so that I know I'm not pregnant. I had to get a dosage up from the lowest since my periods were coming through when it wasn't supposed to.
She has to take it at the same time every day though. It's annoying to remember. Works best if you have a very regular life schedule and get up at the same time 7 days a week.

>>16610264
"obviously"?
u told her about your feelings?

>>16609980
Depends on his age,i wouldnt mind if hes 22 or under.

>>16610312
everyday

>>16610312
If you mean texting, then all day erry day boi

>>16610316
I used to advocate sede sex in high school trough some program. I get your frustration with my non learned ass. It's far from the truth. I just wanted to get out of inevitably having to do the Google search. :/
Thanks dude

>>16610275
idk if she's gonna reply

the return of depression ;-;

>>16610348
>>16610265
It makes me sad how no one seems to know about the most effective birth control of all time.

http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/pdf/contraceptive_methods_508.pdf

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

>>16610326
She knows.

>>16607715
Good for you. I'm a guy who's in the same boat. Just keep the positive attitude and you'll find someone.

>>16610371
>the most effective birth control
Which one is your favorite? I can't open PDFs rn

>>16610436
The implant is more effective than sterilization. Only second to abstinence.

>>16607801
Horrible advice. You should never commit to someone with a large ammount of sexual partners. I find it funny that the only people who say this shit are sluts. Thank god most people aren't dumb enough to fall for it.

Girls what are your redeeming qualities.
I have a hard time respecting women and Im trying to see if I can change that. When I see a woman that I think I can respect I cant help but think about how shes probably a walking used fleshlight.

>>16610448
Wew that's a pretty intimidating order. I'm not a walking fleshlight thankfully, if that helps.

>>16610348
I'd suggest you phrase it differently then. Just saying "how do I not baby" is too broad. We're not willing to list out every option listed here: >>16610371
There are too many.
Maybe ask the other girls here what their favorite BC is? That's a more reasonable question for this board.
I already told you why I like the pill (also because I like the fact that if I have side effects I can immediately stop rather than wait to get something taken out by the doc) but I know my friend prefers the ring and I know women who swear by IUDs (copper T, though not always copper).

>>16608858
>I've had sex with 14 guys
Yeah it kinda does.
>That doesn't have to define who you are in a negative light
Yeah it kinda does.
>You aren't going to find any woman in the world who isn't a "slut type"
You heard it hear folks

>>16609436
>My wife first
I don't understand that.

>>16610453
Whether you are or arent isnt really the issue. Its that most women are. Hoping that if I can get a womans perspective on her self worth it might change my perspective.

>>16610448
You are just hanging around the wrong girls. Nerdy bitches are the biggest sluts. It's hard to believe but it's true. The less attractive a girl is the more she has to use sex to feel valuable. That's why women on the internet are always screaming about slut shaming and shit. Truth is most higher value women aren't that slutty. You just have to find confident women who have relationship goals and self control.

Seriously, you won't find many women with redeeming qualities on 4chan. Most here are low self esteem attention whores who work as waitresses. You need to go meet women out in the real world, you'd be surprised how many cool chicks there are.

>>16610467
What kind of thing are you looking for?

>>16609436
>If our house caught fire, I'd save my wife first, then my daughter, then her daughter. Am I a despicable person?
Your order is so bad its why.
Youre suppose to save your daughter first. Then your wifes daughter (because thats what your wife wants), then your wife.
also
>my wifes daughter
KEKS

>>16608858
It does make you a slut. My sides. I know plenty of women who haven't fucked 14 guys. You skanks on the internet are delusional.

>>16610473
Obviously if they were qualities I were looking for I would have noticed them and not be here. Im looking for qualities I dont know to look for if that makes sense.

>she hasn't responded
>it's now 4 pm

is it over ;-;

>>16610468
Im talking from experience with women out in the real world. Most people who use this site arent really normal enough to be a statistic.

>>16610490
What kind of area do you live in? I've noticed that can reflect the women you're around.

Honestly I know a lot of quality women but it seems a lot of people on here are surrounded by used up sluts.

How come every time I start talking to a girl, it feels like it went okay but then she never says anything the next day

>Talk to a girl for about two months
>Out of nowhere she asks me if she died tomorrow, would I go to her funeral?
Why would she ask that? I can't make heads or tails of it.

>>16610357
she might, she might not.

The more you think about it, the more you over analyze and think the worst. Just let it be and get over her

>>16610448
The women I associate with I like for these reasons:
>Kind and self-sacrificing
I often have to remind my friends to not put my needs before their own. They've got that mother hen thing down. They'll lend me an ear, or surprise me with gifts, or cook me food. They'll check on me if I look down.
>Understanding and empathetic
Anger is not their main mode. They'll try to be patient and hear out any conflict to avoid jumping to conclusions.
>Introspective and in touch with emotions
I enjoy being able to work through an emotional issue, either helping a friend or a friend helping me. It's nice to break down the base emotions and analyze what is really causing it and what to do about it.
>Pretty
They are pleasant to look at. I'll go ahead and include this as a plus. They take the time to look presentable and the female form is just divine. Soft curves in their hair, along their legs, their chests. Delicate features and big eyes and red lips.

Of course, there are guys who are like this. And there are girls who are not. I don't associate with people who have the "stereotypical dramatic/wild girl" personality. My friends take strides to avoiding being that person.
When I compare the men in my life to the women, these are the main differences I see.

>>16610207
Move on man. It's hard and you'll always have feelings but you're just wasting your time. Just look at her as the one who got away. Most guys have that. Mine is a girl named Amy who has to be one of the prettiest girls I've ever met. One day she might come around but sitting around waiting isn't worth it. You can't win them all bro.

I really hope you take my advice and go meet a nice girl who likes you. Focusing on one girl is a bad idea. The only time you should ever focus on one girl is after you're dating her.

Most of us have been in your shoes, please take my advice.

>>16610510
i don't get many chances. it hurts

>me: want to hang out?
>her: sure
>me: when are you free?
>her:

what does it mean?
when should i be concerned?
what should i do?

>>16608171
Yes, as long as you can either go for a second round or it's an incidental thing and not the rule. Even if it would sometimes ruin the chance at intercourse I would still very, very much prefer that over a guy who finds foreplay dull and is just waiting it out until he can stick it in and start pounding.

>>16608553
Hit her up, you have nothing to lose. Just make sure you explain yourself well and get the point across that it's not a matter of you not being that interested then reconsidering her after getting a bit more desperate. Be open and sincere about what was going through your head, can't do much more.

>>16608944
There's other ways like websites aimed at pen pals (serious ones)... but I would not recommend it. It's not for nothing that they advise to meet up as quickly as feasible when you are taken with someone you met online. It is very easy to fall in love with your image of someone, only to not actually like them that much in real life.

>>16609436
If anything I find it a bit alarming that you would put your wife over your daughter, who you brought into this world and who you are more literally responsible for.

The rest of your sentiment is completely normal, and it is also very normal for it to be a source of guilt. All you can do is make sure that your treatment of them does not mirror this, as children can be quite sensitive to favoritism. Also I am sure that you can find a community, in real life or online, with other step parents where you can discuss these concerns and how others deal with the feelings or doubts. That might be beneficial for you if it weighs heavily on you.

>>16610312
I'm awkward both in texting and on the phone. I prefer brief interactions when we aren't face to face.

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>>16610543
prolly just figuring out when is a good time to chill, call her tomorrow or a couple of days later to see if she still wants to hang out if not then move on

What do girls do on Sunday's?

Every time I start talking to a girl, she stops talking to me on Sundays. Even on Tinder

Why is this?

>>16610543
If you ask to hang out, be the initiator. Say, "I want to do XYZ on this Saturday at 3pm. Does that work for you?"

>>16610566
Church, hang overs, and/or homework. Sunday is catch up day before the week starts.

>>16610264
If I don't love him back, it's better to cut him off. Keeping him around is nice, it's flattering, it feeds our egos, but it's also extremely selfish and emotionally abusive. The kindest response is definitely to cut him off.

>>16609980
If he fucks around like the world will fall apart tomorrow, yes. If he freezes up when talking to a woman and noticably registers you as "a female" and not a person, or any other variant of this, yes.
Otherwise no, it's actually nice to have certainty that they don't settle for convenience flings left and right.

>>16610137
Agree with the reply you already got. Also for me it is about striking a balance between being forthcoming - friendly, courteous, polite, warm - and being dignified. Guys can get so up in trying to win over the woman, that they completely forget about what THEY want out of someone. If you would feel humiliated not talking back (or leaving or whatever) to a man over something (because of the message/action and not because the situation changes once they are male), don't take it from a woman. Don't crawl, don't grin and bear it when you are treated with disrespect. Eg don't accept a date being on her phone all the time, obviously not listening to what you say, making mean jokes at your expense (or in general, mean jokes you can't appreciate), asking rude questions, whatever. You don't have to be a dick about it but lay down your boundaries and don't be a doormat.

Think of it in this way. If you don't have the balls to not be nice and call someone out on not behaving properly, then you cannot actually BE nice. Being nice exists by the grace of not being nice and willfully choosing not to do that. If you do not dare to not be nice to someone, it is not a conscious choice that reflects your character, but slavishness and a lack of mental courage. That's not attractive - real kindness is.

>>16610566
For anyone who works, Sunday is usually the one free day of the week they have to hang out with family, friends, rest, and dedicate to whatever hobby they might have.
I spent my Sunday on Church, a family lunch and then at the movies.

>>16610526
it sucks dude, I know.

The best way to get over her is with another girl desu.

>>16610216
Be real here man. This is a fucking stupid idea. If it's going to be a one time off, you could get her plan B and make sure you both see her take it after sex and not vomit it out. This has about a 95% effectiveness rate, if taken within 24 hours. That's not as effective as oral birth control, BUT people easily forget that oral birth control is only that effective if taken exactly in the right manner (daily, every day at the same time, no vomiting/diarrhea, no antibitiocs, no St. John's wort and so on) and most people don't follow this 100%, especially students who live irregular lives.

Still, you have a 5% chance of getting your life nuked. Realize this. Realize that no matter what she says about wanting to get an abortion, she will be flooded with hormones once pregnant and it will be a reality within her body, not a dry concept. Realize no amount of pro choice guarantees that she'll want to abort when it matters for you.

Again, this is a fucking stupid plan. People do it all the time and most of the time it works out alright, but again, it is about the worst case scenario being... well, never being careless and young again, pretty much. Not in the same manner.

Also, people like to rave about the UID etc and it's great on paper, but inserting it is painful, it can be a daunting idea to have doctors feel up your insides if you've never been to a gynaecologist before, and it can be an intimidating idea that if something goes wrong, it's not easy to just quit, they'll have to get it out and that is a process that takes some time, because they're not going to rip it out if you have some bleeding or pain or can't sleep or whatever. They need to be certain it's the implant. If you google it there are plenty of horror stories.

I am not saying this to argue against the implant, I want one myself some day, just to highlight that it being the best option on paper doesn't mean you can just go up to your girlfriend and tell her to get it fixed.

>>16610597
Shit, completely missed your reply saying she is on oral birth control. In that case, ignore most of what I said, but do use spermicide if only to put your mind at ease.

And you can bring up another form of birth control for the future. Copper implant can cause heavier/more painful periods and there's always horror stories, but oral birth control comes with a shitload of potential side effects as well.

>>16610467
First of all the problem is your mindset and you need to change your attitude and not wait for the world to prove you wrong. Look up confirmation bias. I am sure that if you went into it with an extremely negative outlook (including that having sex is degrading and devalues someone), plenty of the men you hold in reasonable esteem would seem like little as well. You would want people to judge you with an open mind, right? Despite that you probably have imperfections and issues that could make people pigeonhole you as something negative.

Anyway, to answer your question. It makes me feel good to know that I can mean something to the people I hold dear. I am attentive and remember what friends tell me about their lives, when they casually mention stuff they'd like (for gift ideas), when they mention what they value in friendship. I am naturally awkward with this but have worked quite hard to consistently vocalize to people what I admire about their character, why I enjoy being around them, complimenting them. It makes me feel good to feel like I can add warmth to the lives of people I very much want to have a good life.
I am also quite loyal, and have maintained several friendships for ten+ years, despite distances, solely by consistently investing in them.

I am proud of taking my job seriously, despite it being a simple salesjob at a small store and my boss talking shit about all the employees (despite never doing anything himself). I have not taken a sick day yet despite feeling bad plenty of times, and will only do so if I physically cannot be there. I am not the type to go do things on my phone if there's no one there. I get paid good money to do my job so you bet I'll spend four brain numbing hours making Christmas packages if it's dead.

>>16610691

I am also proud that my parents do not pay my rent or my education, that I sacrifice things like foreign vacations to save money (have not been on one for three years in a row). I derive self worth from investing for now close to fifteen years in writing prose, despite never having had a concrete coach (though plenty of encouraging fleeting figures) and having no one in my social circle who can stimulate or critique me whatsoever. Mostly because, this being so important to me, I have huge huge insecurities about potentially not being good enough, and yet I managed to force myself countless times to ignore that and go ahead anyway, to pick myself up after a breakdown because I felt it would never work out. I had a meeting with some kind of literary figure with connections a week or two ago, and sent him my work. It was actually a decent arrangement of poetry, song lyrics, poetry translations (from English... in case I fucked up already) and short stories. Solely because I kept giving it my time and energy and willpower again and again for over a decade without any concrete result.

I could honestly go on, but I doubt you haven't gotten an image yet and I'd sound even more conceited than I probably do now. For what it's worth, I have just lived a pretty lonely life for some years and have a pretty good understanding of what I appreciate and resent about myself, I could tell you plenty of negatives as well.