So I need advice on my current situation and whether I'm being selfish or not about it.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now. We both love each other very much. Unfortunately we both live with our parents due to him finishing up school and although I work, the rent is too damn high around here to get my own place. I live in NYC in Staten Island, and he lives in NJ so the distance between us is about a 30 min drive by car.
My boyfriend seems to be very close to his family. He's the youngest with 2 older sisters. I'm the youngest of my family with 3 older sisters but they're much much older than I am (10-13 years older) and they're all married and out of the house.
His sisters tend to visit and stay at his parents house every other week or weekend. Although one of his sisters his married, she'll bring her husband to stay the weekend.
His family, whether it's with his sisters or parents, are either making dinner, or going to the boardwalk and they ask me to come along. I've gone on vacations with his family, gone out for birthdays, dinners, etc.
Although I love his family, lately it feels like the only time I get to spend any time with my boyfriend is if it involves his family.
Sometimes when I visit my boyfriend and if his sister is there, he'll ask her to come join us wherever we're going.
Or I'm usually eating dinner his mom made instead of me and him going out for dinner. Granted my boyfriend is still in school so he's not making much money, but I can pay for dinner no problem. It doesn't help that his mom has this mentality of "save your money and have dinner here instead".
But even when we went to see Star Wars, I thought it was just me and him but his parents and sister tagged along.
Cont next post...
>next post
Oh my fucking God, two posts for something that could be summarized in one line:
>Although I love his family, lately it feels like the only time I get to spend any time with my boyfriend is if it involves his family.
Just tell him that.
TITS or QTFO, ops wrong board
>>16606916
So then there's me and my family. I just live with my parents. We don't really do any eventful things like family dinners unless it was for a holiday. My sister's are married with their own households so they are all doing their own things with their families. My parents don't really go out a lot except for the occasional flea market or casino.
So when my boyfriend does come visit me, we'll try to find alone time to snuggle or have sex when no one is home , but sometimes he complains about having to drive to me. It feels like he wants me to come to him more than he comes to me and if I do go to him, I'll be going out or spending time with his family. It'd just be nice if we can go out together alone.
Like I just spend the past few days with his family. I drove to his house on Xmas eve morning and drove home last night because I didn't really want to spend another night there and didn't want to spend the rest of the night watching Xmas movies with his family on the couch.
I ask him today if he wants to come to me and spend time since I drove home yesterday but now he's all "were making an Italian dinner, come join us". I'm just sick and tired of constantly going to see him just to spend time with his family.
What would you rather be doing?
>>16606916
Just wait till you two get your own house meanwhile you can just ask him for some alone time.if you can't do that just force him to come to your house.make up excuses for why you can't come to his house.it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to,you dont want to be with his senpai 24/7
>>16606916
When his mum is cooking tell her you will do it today or offer to help
I don't understand why you don't just say this?
I had a similar issue with my boyfriend recently. I told him "it's not that I don't like your parents or want to spend time with them, just sometimes I want it to be the two of us." He was totally fine with it. Now when I want it to be the two of us I make it clear and we are much better for it.
