Compromises
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I'm currently in a relationship with a girl for close to 3 years (3 in March). We have talked about moving forward in our relationship such as with marriage and eventually getting a home. I'm wanting to pay off all my debt before I actually move on to do those things. I want to feel financially ready before doing big things like that.
Recently she has told me that she feels that she has given me a reasonable amount of time to pay off my debt and wants to really try moving forward soon. I do want to compromise but I'm horrible at trying to come up with compromises.
What are some possible compromises that could work for this situation? If you need anymore information go ahead and please ask.
>>16606382
Arguing about money problems already. She's just going demand more things from you.
>>16606382
You can get engaged if you actually want to marry her, not because of some notion that it's "3 years I might as well." Your engagement can last a year or longer. That should be enough time to get your finances in order. Unless you massively fucked up and you'll be in debt for a decade. In which case, she's gonna leave anyway.
>>16606433
We're not actually arguing about money. It's about moving forward in our relationship.
>>16606444
I never really thought about the engagement. It actually makes me feel better knowing that I can propose to her but the marriage won't actually happen until sometime later. That's definitely something I'm going to consider. Thank you.
>>16606453
Yep, I don't know anyone who got married in less than a year from the time of engagement. It takes a while to plan, give notice to family/guests, reserve your venue (often booked out a year or more depending on where you want to go). My brother's engagement was 2.5 years because they had to pay for everything and it took that long to afford their dream ceremony. Other friends were at least a year. That's entirely normal and expected. If you were to pop the news then turn around and get hitched in say, 3 or 4 months, THAT would seem very strange to everyone. Folks need a lot of time to budget and make travel plans to be with you. That shit is very expensive.
>>16606382
>she feels that she has given me a reasonable amount of time to pay off my debt and wants to really try moving forward soon
She's pressuring you. Giving you a time limit.
