Background: I've been friends with somebody for 6 years now. Throughout this period I have been an incredibly good friend. They have had to deal with transitioning from a woman to a man, family issues etc. and I have always been there for him (I'll use him pronouns referring to my friend). Throughout this time they have generally been a shitty friend. They have caused excessive drama over nothing. They consistently have overreacted to things for no reason. But the thing that really pissed me off is they have a habit of belittling me for absolutely no reason. There is no back and forth, I've never insulted him for who he is and I've always always been there for him. It came to a head about 6 months ago where I flat out said either you stop being such a cunt to me or I'm not interested in staying friends. He apologised excessively, said it was because he was having a trouble at uni (he dropped out of studying history due to difficulties transitioning) and said it was because he was suicidal and depressed that he took it out of me. I said OK, I'll move on, but you need to stop.
Fast forward to now and nothing has changed. He still regularly demeans me for being a bit of a neckbeard, for not going out, for being a virgin etc. He made some comment the other day and I flipped out, said that there's no reason for him to say shit like that and left the chat (we use mumble).
He tried to talk to me a day later acting like nothing had happened. I said it's insulting he acts like I'm not angry and that I don't want to talk to her for a while, that I need some space and for her to leave me be.
The next few days he has been messaging me frequently begging for me to talk to him again and asking all these questions. I repeatedly told him to stop talking to me and to respect my boundaries but he wouldn't stop. Today it really got to me and I told him to fuck off and went into detail about why I was so angry and what he'd done wrong. 1/2
I specifcally talked about how it infuriated me that he wouldn't let me have any space and how angry I was that he hadn't listened to anyhting I'd said in the conversation 6 months ago. After a while he stopped trying to bother me and has left me alone.
I don't really know how to proceed from here. In our entire friendship it has always been me putting in work for nothing. I've stayed up in the morning with him while he contemplated suicide, listened through the drama, been there when other people were not. I feel like it's a slap in the face that he won't listen to what I have to say or respect me enough to stop belittling me. He's a toxic influence around others around him, demanding attention and special treatment while giving nothing in return.
The difficulty I have is that he is a huge part of our friend group and will always be going to our joint events. If I decide to break it off, it will have extremely negative consequences for my future as he's always going to be around and it will be incredibly awkward.
All in all, my questions are as follows: Does it seem like I overreacted, what is the best thing I can do at this point and should I even bother "taking him back" when he's such a toxic person? Is it worth the fallout that it would cause to reconcile?
>>16606179
I would suggest lesser contact but not totally cut off. Totally cutting off a friendship is really awkward and could affect how other friends think of you, unless they did something really intolerable, like commiting a crime against you, then yes it's fine. Just don't be too eager to help out and talk less.
>>16606167
She should leave you alone.
>>16606167
You're friend may be changing their physical form, but a obnoxious cunt is always going to be an cunt. Scale back your contact with them if they can't make the barest effort at not being such a dick to a friend, or stop talking to them altogether. Six years of putting up with a person's horseshit with no actual appreciation of effort is more than ridiculous, you don't need that shit.
Give them one more chance to not be so fucking salty about their attitudes, and let them fuck up one more time in bashing on you or causing you grief in the way of drama, then piss away off from them. You can explain to your mutual friends that you've been regularly shit on for no reason, and you're tired of it. More than likely, if they play a bigger role in the social dynamic of your group of friends than you do, you'll become a pariah or generally disassociated unfairly, but you need to stand up for yourself.
