I'm so frustrated right now that it's actually affecting me physically. My blood feels like it's boiling almost literally, my stomach's churning and my heartrate's through the roof. I've been sleeping like shit for weeks.
And it's all because my friend's being an ice cold bitch towards me. Pathetic, I know.
After years of being ditched, backstabbed or otherwise dropped by people I thought were friends, I got my shit back together. Then I finally opened up to someone again. This girl and I had so much in common, and we got along so well for a few months. I finally wasn't lonely anymore. I finally could do social shit without the shame of doing it alone. We had so much to talk about, we actually enjoyed seeing each other, and I had the time of my life.
And then it just ended. She got more blunt, more aloof. She started acting like she didn't give a shit about me. She didn't want to do anything together anymore. Everything we spoke about had to be about her; anything about me gets dismissed. She stopped initiating text contact, and her replies became matter-of-fact and unemotional. In person she always gives excuses to avoid meeting up. She accepts impromptu ideas of mine, then stalls long enough that it's too late to act on them. Multiple times. In the meantime she keeps telling me that no, she's just busy. She does want to be friends. I'm no bother to her. She just has a lot on her mind and doesn't know what to say. And I actually buy it.
Now she's spending the holidays in her hometown. I try to stay in touch, but there's zero effort from her part. I try to plan around it, try to talk about things I know she likes. And what do I get? Fucking "okay". Fucking one-word textbook 'fuck off'-signals. I try so hard to actually keep a friend because everyone ditches and avoids me, and the moment I try again it happens again.
I know this bitch is toxic. I want to unstress. I want to get my mind off things, but my usual activities aren't working. How can I get over this?
>>16603496
Sounds like you need more experience with women.
you're insanely needy. emphasis on the insane. get help from a doctor.
>>16603645
Well I think it's normal if she's his only friend you know, not saying it's right though.
Maybe your friend got tired of being your only friend. Maybe she felt like she was taking care of a kid in a way? It gets tiring being the only support of a friend you know, it feels like you are responsible for them.
To be honest the best solution would be to start not giving a shit and become more independant. Don't put friendship on a pedestal. How old are you?
>>16603697
I've had 0-1 friends at a time for the last decade and I've never decided they were toxic bitches for not wanting to constantly spend time with me.
>>16603645
Doctors are useless. All they did was refer and refer and refer, because none of them thought they could help me. That's two years, half a dozen 'specialists' and a ridiculous amount of cash that could've gone to better purposes.
>>16603697
23 years old.
It's funny, really. She's more of a kid herself, and with a lot of things I'm the one supporting her. Or at least I used to be, before she froze over.
No longer giving a shit and becoming more independent is a goal for the long term. You can't just do it overnight. Where am I supposed to begin?
>>16603710
There's only so much you can say with 2000 characters. "Not wanting to constantly spend time with me" is severely understating it.
>>16603748
>"Not wanting to constantly spend time with me" is severely understating it.
calling you insanely needy is also a severe understatement. you're pathologically needy.
>>16603757
I'm here for /adv/ice, not j/udg/ment.
No shit that it's bad. If you have nothing helpful to say, piss off.
>>16603496
It sounds a bit like she's getting tired of your attention and doesn't want to admit it to herself. So she doesn't say that she doesn't want to be friends, because she doesn't want to nuke the connection, not consciously, but at the same time she's worn out of the status quo you had going on. Or she could just be a bitch, I don't know.
It's never good to have just one person who has to shoulder all one's social needs. Also because you never know when that one person's life situation or feeling will change and they'll suddenly stop having time for you.
Sorry OP. Best thing is to try to find other people also to spend time with and give your friend space
>>16603772
>Gives advice that you need to see a professional
>Rejects advice
>Complains that they aren't getting advice
Fuck right off you crazy obsessive cunt. No wonder you got dropped by your friends. You're bat shit insane.
>>16603496
If your post is anything to go by she probably doesn't want anything to do with you because you're a clingy bitch.
You should have gotten the hint a long time ago. Shit happens. Find some new friends and stop being so fucking desperate.
I've been doing the same thing to my best friend. I'm a pretty aloof person in general but it's been exacerbated by her extreme neediness and hostility (she has Borderline Personality Disorder). She's an emotional vampire and you may be as well. Your friend could also just be a shitty person, I know I am. Some people can't handle codependency and she may feel like she needs space.
I'm sorry for your situation and I hope you can find a friend that can fit your needs if you and you friend can't make things work.
>>16603496
i always played ice hockey and that helped me when i was feeling like shit or frustrated, because during the time you're playing the game, nothing else matters. you can s=try something more beginner friendly though like body combat classes and shit. that also always helped me
>>16603496
Maybe she has another friend, maybe a boyfriend.
Same thing happened to me. Don't talk to her, hang out during one month or more.
1)If she doesn't say a word, she was only using you.
2)If she ask's for something tell that bitch to go suck herself. If indded you were that close friends, she wouldn't let go on so much time with out saying something.
3)If she starts talking and wanting to go out, maybe she only needed some space.
>>16603830
Giving space is probably the best thing to do, yeah. It's not even fun to talk to her anymore, and I don't think I'll try anymore. It feels like I'm only talking to her nowadays to fill some arbitrary one-sided stay-in-touch-quota, and not because she's actually fun to talk to. Nothing I say pays off, so perhaps I'll see if I can hit up some old acquaintances. Maybe I should open up to them a bit more.
>>16603841
>Gives advice in one post with reasonable amount of judgment
>Shits up the rest of the thread with useless oneliners
>"I'm helping!"
I'm not talking about that first post, you blind little shit. That advice isn't a magical cure-all. I've tried it before and it didn't work, so I'm looking for other options.
Seriously, all you're doing here is swoop in with your holier-than-thou attitude and call names. Does that make you feel better about yourself? Does it make you forget your own problems?
>>16603854
Getting the hint now. I doubt it'll make a difference, since the end result's the same anyway.
>>16603886
This girl's aloof as well. Aspie too, so I suppose that brings its own quirks.
You say you've been doing the same thing to your friend. Do you think things between you would return to normal if your friend's neediness and hostility would fade? Or is the damage beyond repair?
>>16603889
Sports. Good idea. I was looking into trying something new already, so I might look into ice hockey or classes. Thanks.
>>16603933
Part of being an aspie is that having more than one or few friends can be very distracting. They tend to lean towards that one or those few friends, I've heard and kind of noticed around acquaintances with her (she wouldn't leave me alone back then). In her hometown she has plenty of people around her, so that's probably an explanation on top of everything else.
I'll follow that plan, but one question. If she asks for something, couldn't it just be an excuse to make conversation?
