I've been doing it all week..it just happened

Eat ur own shit

>>16600763
Eating copious amounts of raw broth cubes usually upsets my stomach so much that I puke after five minutes.

Cereal with water

>>16600763
Just be honest with the other people ad to why you don"t want to go. Making up transparently bullshit excuses will just piss them off and make you look pathetic.

Here's a thought. What about just saying that you threw up, or do you have to prove in the court of law with samples from the vomit that it actually happened?

>>16600763
Do a lot of heroin and drink skim milk

>>16600763

you could always just man up and confront your issues instead of hiding behind fake illnesses.

>>16600877
You obviously have never had to deal with a psycho ass family on the holidays like the rest of us. It must be nice being able to just say "hey I don't wanna go" my parents would have strapped me to the car even if I was sick

get a blender.
add: peppercorns, 4 raw eggs, macaroni, and heavy cream.
blend
consume

that's what i did in high school whenever i wanted to stay home

>>16600883
Ok. Go the the bathroom, make a fist with your left and, then stick out your index finger and middle finger. Keep them tightly together. Open your mouth very wide and press the two fingers as far back in your throat as you can, try to touch the uvula with your knuckles as well. You'll keep dry hewing and lots of spit will produce, but keep on doing it until you actually vomit.
It might be easier if you drink lots of water before hand as well. good luck.