Yesterday evening I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. Now I'll be quite honest, I had a long day at work and wasn't all that into it, but I was still trying to take care of him and try not to let that sort of thing get into the way.
A few minutes into it he tells me "That's really Fucking sloppy", and I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or a criticism, so I tried to concentrate and refocus. But then a minute later he tells me"this isn't working for me", and he pulled himself out of my mouth very audibly. I felt really embarrassed, so I was looking down at the floor. He then lifted my chin up to look in his eyes, and I thought he was going to say something like it was ok, but no instead its like I see no patience at all in his eyes, and he tells me "I'm taking the cock away from you".
I was so stunned that I just stayed there on my knees for a couple of more minutes before I realized I was still there. When I got up I heard him watching porn and masturbating.
I ended up going home because I didn't know what to say. I was so upset and humiliated about what happened that I couldn't even really sleep last night I'm not sure why it is affecting me so badly, but I'm still incredibly upset. I want to give him a piece of my mind, but I don't know what to say and I don't want to sound stupid and emotional. I've have never had anything remotely like this happen to me before.
>>16596529
You sound really sweet for trying
I know personally half the fun of sexual interaction is having the other person really desiring you
so having something half assed isn't really that satisfying, on the other hand your boyfriend defiantly handled that inappropriately without care for how you felt
He sounds like an asshole, I'd dump him.
There is no reason to waste time on people like him
That's a quality neg. I'll have to remember that one.
Guy sounds alpha as fuck.
He acted like a total douchebag and you're thinking this situation is all your fault.
I am impressed.
>>16596529
First of all, it's not uncommon for a BJ to just not work - it's as likely to be his "fault" (in that he wasn't really into it at the moment) as yours.
But the real story here is the abusive D/s relationship you seem to have. His callous rejection of you because you were "failing" to serve him shows his contempt for you as nothing more than a tool for his pleasure. And your acceptance of this blame shows a lack of self-respect or awareness that sex is supposed to be a mutual thing, not one serving the other.
Give serious thought to the shape of this relationship and how healthy your involvement in it is.
>>16596554
The key is to keep the bitch feeling needy, even when she's pleasing you.
>>16596529
You do sound sweet. And he sounds like he's not treating you right
>>16596529
Kek
Quit whining about it and get better at giving head. Talk to him about it, asked how he wants to be sucked.
Have you given him successful blowjobs before or is it always like that? Maybe he was just having an off night too, and wanted to get it over with. Either way, both of you have to communicate about this.
Earlier on in our relationship, there have been a couple of times when my husband was eating me out, but I just wasn't into it. He was mashing my clit too hard and it killed the mood. Shit happens, yo. But I had to tell him how I wanted my snatch eaten, and things have been great ever since.
>>16596549
Why is the default response for any relationship issue on /adv/ 'dump them'?
Like throwing a relationship away over one fight/issue is worth it
>>16596529
I had a boyfriend who'd get very sexually frustrated with me and he'd treat me similarly. He had no empathy for how hard I worked and how much stress I was going through. I was at a very emotionally low point in my life. And my sex drive was dwindling. The more frustrated he became, the less sexually attractive he became. The more he pressured me to preform, the more it pushed me away. I slowly started to resent him. He acted so entitled. Acted like something was wrong with me because I couldn't satisfy him several times a day like he wanted me to. We just were not compatible.
The fact that our relationship had ended because of sex was embarrassing and depressing and made it feel like that was my only purpose in his life. But it was something that needed to happen.
After the first time he treated me that way, our relationship still dragged on horribly for about a year until he told me he was cheating on me because I didn't satisfy him.
I'm not saying that your boyfriend would do the same. I'm not saying to break up with him. But this was a true result of similar behavior. This is just immediate red flag. If you don't want to break up just because of this one incident, I'd keep on my toes and be ready to leave. Because breaking up with someone that is very sexually demanding is very liberating. There are better people in this world.
>>16596560
Why should anyone stay with person that treats them like shit?
It doesnt matter if it is one thing or 100- shitty treatment has no excuses and is a different thing than just having an argument/issue.
>>16596568
If every time a partner treated their SO poorly called for the end of a relationship, there would be no relationships.
>>16596571
So, what's your way to solve this relationship issue then?
Sexual compatibility is not really something that can be changed between two people.
>>16596571
You must had really shitty relationships then- my partners never treated me badly (and I also never did), knowing relationships of my friends it looks the same in their cases.
Who even thinks this is acceptable to do?
>>16596576
Sounds like you only date slavish beta faggots whom you eventually tire of.
The truth hurts, huh?
>>16596579
No? My current partner is far from being slavish beta. I think you have some serious issues if you equate abusive with normal relationship and abusive partner with an assertive one.
Get help
>>16596583
Being overly agreeable is the most notable feature of the beta male. It stems from a deeply ingrained anxiety about how women (and others) esteem him. If you've never had a legitimate fight with your partner, he's gone out of your way to avoid conflict. This signals neediness, not assertiveness and independence.
Arguments and disagreements punctuate healthy relationships. Communication breakdowns are common. This is completely expected when people are putting themselves and their values on the line.
Relationships aren't about agreeableness. They're about sharing yourself completely with the other person, and not being afraid of the fallout implied in sticking up for your values.
Now, if you're the overly needy and agreeable one, the relationship still isn't healthy.
>>16596529
The way i see it sexual relation between two people is something thats based on trust. Most people are consciuos about their sexuality, and it is something that CANNOT be questioned in such a manner as you described. You have been humiliated, he made you question yourself which should never take place. I highly doubt he said that being unaware of this and this being the case few stupid sounding words like "dump him" suddenly don't sound so stupid. Thats just not the way things will work in a relationship
>>16596586
You clearly doesnt understand what i've wrote. Arguments and communication breakdowns are normal and common but being abusive towards your partner is not (or at least shouldnt be). Op partner acted in a way that clearly indicates he treates her poorly, without respect and that relationship is seriously flawed.
Those things are not a part of normal relationship.
The fact that you are not able to see the difference is disturbing.
>>16596586
There's a difference between disagreeing and a situation like OPs story.
When two emotionally intelligent people are together, they will not argue like one is alpha and one is beta.
Of course every relationship has its issues, but that anon didn't say they do not have issues, they said their partner is not asshole like Op's.
Holy shit dude, you are trying to justify asshole behavior as normal?
>>16596592
I read what you've written perfectly. What I didn't read is your mind. You've done nothing but change the goalposts by conflating a misunderstanding with "abuse", which I guarantee you in no capacity would be able to formally differentiate. Making your partner upset is not "abuse". Misunderstanding your partner and making them upset is not abuse. When a misunderstanding causes friction in relationship, both parties are usually to blame. Note that OP didn't mention that she properly communicated any of her thoughts or desires and instead merely assumed that her partner should read her mind.
No, your claims are not in any way logical or consistent. No, you shouldn't try to reason because it doesn't suit you. Your advice (like that of nearly all women) is counter-productive to a healthy relationship.
>>16596601
Do you really see the situation op described as "healthy relationship"?
>>16596607
I don't have sufficient information to make that judgment. Chances are OP is exaggerating or blowing things out of proportion even in this singular, near-meaningless example.
Take the mouth, ass, and pussy away from him. He was being an asshole intentionally, he wanted to make you feel bad. Probably a young wannabe dom that doesn't realize a d/s relationship needs to be mutual and clearly defined.
>"I'm taking the cock away from you".
LOL! I just completely lost it after reading that. Who even talks like this? How did you not just burst out laughing at your BF when he said this?
>>16596607
Women try to 'punish' men by refusing sex all the time. The roles are reversed here but there's nothing odd about it.
>>16596529
Don't think too much about it. Act like grown ups and talk about it. He thinks you were lazy when you were actually just worn out from work.
childish option:
Maybe he just wants to roleplay, so you could satisfy his domination fantasies by begging him to give the cock back to you.
>>16596607
Why not? He really didn't say or do anything mean to her, he just decided not to finish the blowjob if she wasn't going to put in any effort. I really see nothing wrong with any of it. It's a little embarrassing in the moment for OP, but not unreasonably so.
Sex isn't perfect every single time, and it's not like someone did something "wrong" if they didn't really click for one night. He was horny, she was tired and distracted, and those two things just didn't go well together in that moment. I don't see any reason why this shouldn't completely blow over by the next morning.
All I know is if my GF told me "I'm taking the pussy away from you" while I was going down on her, and she was being completely serious, I would tell her to make sure to take all her shit with her on the way out.
>>16596529
He was mean
Maby something se is bottering him or hes a dickhead...
Quesrion. Is it rare for women to lime giving owjobs? I like to give or sex but guys usually dont. So was wondering now that i broke up with my gf will i receave another one heh
>>16596529
>"I'm taking the cock away from you"
>"I'm taking the cock away"
>"I'm taking the cock"
>"the cock"
>Not "my" cock
>"THE cock"
Shame on you OP. How dare you disrespect THE COCK!
>>16596529
You Fucking women. You sure do love to play your pussy politics, but when the tables get turned you act all shocked and awed, like it's the worst thing that ever happened in the history of the world. Are you Fucking kidding me?
How about learning to suck dick? It wasn't like your BF wasn't in the mood, he apparently needed to cum as he went out and busted one out when you couldn't satisfy him. Deal with that, you were so Fucking bad he would rather not have a blowjob from you and go take care of himself. That's how awful you were.
You Motherfucking women. Go put on your big girl panties and start acting like an emotionally normal person. How about Fucking getting through the day without crying for once? How about that shit?
I'm sick of this Fucking bullshit in these threads.
Nutty Bumbitch post!!! Yes Yuzzzz Nigazzzz in Huurzz!!
>women
>thinking they can give blow jobs
you don't even like the musky smell senpai
haah waaw
the guy is acting like the blowjobs are for you
drop him like the autistic baby he is
>>16597803
Hell why not. From the sounds of how bad it was, sure as hell doesn't seem like it was for him.
can all of you stop projecting and acting butthurt because some girl didn't wanna fuck you one time
seriously
this girls bf was a complete tool about it. not 'feeling' a blowjob isn't the issue, how he handled it was clearly meant to demean her. that's fucked.
>>16596529
>he tells me "I'm taking the cock away from you".
No way this is real.
>>16596529
>I'm taking the cock away from you
B8. Normal people don't talk like that in real life.
Unless he's autistic. Like: >>16597782
In which case - what the fuck is wrong with your picker? Why are you being with men who say asperger/adhd/spectrum shit like this?
>>16597834
>In which case - what the fuck is wrong with your picker?
Hepcat, have you ever met a real life woman? They're stupid as Fuck, and highly suceptable to suggestion.
Nobody should be surprised to see a thread like this.
>>16597834
What does adhd have to do with that?
But point taken hes pretty self centered
But who knows maby hes stressed we dont know
Op doesnt know for sure eather..
>>16596529
Dump the fuck.
And the OP vanishes in the darkness.
Why are girls like OP so hella easy to trick and manipulate?
>>16596529
It's alright, he could just tell you weren't into it. Don't break up with him, he just needed to get his rocks off. Wait till you really want to try again and blow his mind, he'll be happy, you'll be happy. Win win.
>>16596529
>I'm taking the cock away from you
This is fucking funny, holy shit.
>>16596560
because most of the people desperate enough to ask for advice from fucking 4chan have sunk to the bottom of the barrel and are usually in abusive relationships. Its not a coincidence.
THIS is what i would define as an abusive relationship. He treats her like absolute shit and purposely tries to diminish her self worth. Most likely so she feels too worthless to ever dare think she deserve anything better so she'll be trapped with him.
>>16596529
OP, you're being played and manipulated. I'm not going to give the song and dance that you deserve better because I don't know you or what you deserve but regardless this guy is a peice of shit.
Well for 1 it was thoughfull of you to give your boyfriend a blowjob at all, just cus you care
2. Being so self entitiled to think that "im taking the cock away from you" shows that he sees you as an object. Sexual toy for his pleasure not a person, not a girlfriend
3. A douchbag like that does not deserve a blowjob
Especilly not a careing girlfriend that goes out of her way to tierdly put her mouth on nasty genitals
I know you girls think that you can change a man, but no, not this one. He needs to humble himself and find some respect. Truth is he wont
Is this what you want for your life, some random asshole jackoff that cant appreciate a BLOWJOB of all things. So he basicly says fuck off slut.
Take it from a guy, hes no good. Break it off. You'll be thanking yourself.
>OH YEA AND REMEMBER NEXT TIME SOMEONE DISSREPECTS YOU AS LESS THAN A HUMAN Tell them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE" dont be so fucking weak. NOW your soon to be ex believes that he can treat you like shit and get away.
am i being baited
>>16596529
Oh wow, I would probably stab my boyfriend as a REFLEX if he talked to me like that.
Your man sounds like one ugly oil-slick of a turd.
>>16596529
tell him that wasnt fucking okay holy shit
dont feel like its your fault thats what he wants
he wants to get away with all his shit and leave you feeling like it was caused by you
okay so you didnt do good once? boo fucking hoo
is he even able to please you in bed?
>he tells me "I'm taking the cock away from you".
Honestly I don't know how you didn't laugh your ass off after that statement.
>>16598710
>I would probably stab my boyfriend as a REFLEX
What a healthy response
practice on his best friend. Explain the situation.
Lol, I'd threaten to slap his shit right there if any lover of mine disrespected me with their junk out.
Then I'd crop him and suffocate him with my lady parts.
>>16596529
Sounds like a fetish thing to me.
I doubt he was trying to hurt your feelings.
Do you guys ever do DOM/sub stuff?
or has he expressed an interest?
>>16599120
its interesting how so many people are going into the "oh naah, its just a roleplay thing, dont worry about it" except when its "just a roleplay" thing couples have healthy conversations about it first to establish guidelines to show mutual love and respect. there was none of that here. he wasnt "roleplaying" a dom/sub role. he was establishing it.
But sure, lets see how far beating the shit out someone or raping someone goes then claiming "lol, just RPing" at the end
>>16596529
This sounds kind of like something I would do. In my mind if you were obviously not into it, it was probably affecting your performance noticeably. If you didn't want to do it he probably didn't want you to do it either.
>>16599120
No. Never.
>>16596954
>He really didn't say or do anything mean to her
>spergs actually believe this
>>16597061
^this
>>16596529
> I felt really embarrassed, so I was looking down at the floor.
Aww baby.
That made me frown.
1. You are such a good partner.
2. I agree with above anons that most of the fun for men in blowjobs is how "into it" you seem. Even when I'm definitely not in the mood, I do my best to make my man feel like I want it, and after a few minutes that creates a mood by itself.
3. LEAVE this childish dick if he doesn't get on his knees and apologize. Christ.... I don't know if you've have a long, loving relationship or anything so far, but anybody who would treat his girlfriend like that deserves to masturbate to porn for the rest of his delusional loser life anyway. He'll probably be happier that way.
>>16596529
I'm taking the cock away?
That's hilarious, and somewhat sexy too. I would like to take the cock away from you, OP.
Audibly.
>>16596529
ask your self a fairly simple question ... do you plan to spend your life, on your knees, feeling that you're not good enough? If no, then it's time to pull the cord and move on.
That's my advice. If you're not dating him to be the mother of his children and grow old with him, why are you wasting your time with him?
You boyfriend is a cunt.
Give better head next time. Snitch.
>>16600567
I don't like that.
>>16596529
Your bf sounds like a rude and selfish asshole. I mean sure he shouldn't fake it's awesome but he could have been more polite and discreet about letting you know it's not working and at least appreciate the effort ffs.
It sounds like he doesn't give a shit about you, and only cares about himself, his emotions, his satisfaction. Reconsider the relationship
>>16597061
This, very much
>>16599605
The sad thing is that shit happens, too.
I think he expects sex to be like in porn. Tbf its not like in porn. You probably need to find a grown up guy instead of a boy tbf.
>>16600560
You would get slapped.
>>16596560
Because by the time you're asking a bunch of strangers on 4chan for relationship advice, you've gone past the point where you can salvage your relationship. Normally, the relationship issues on /adv/ boil down to people wanting reassurance that the decision they already made to dump their SO was the right one. That's why you get posts like OP, who paint their SO in a completely negative light. They're not explicitly saying they want to dump them, but anyone with a 10th grade reading comprehension can tell that's what they mean.
>>16600426
this. never tell a girl you're taking the cock away from her.
but seriously, he could just be having a bad day and blew steam off on you. we all do it. I don't think he did something all that rude or distasteful, though it may not have been a correct attitude. what type of person is your boyfriend, OP? personality-wise I mean.
>>16596529
Suck several dicks, let him know about it and say you were sucking endless dick to finally please him.
You can start with his friends.
>>16600545
>3. LEAVE this childish dick if he doesn't get on his knees and apologize. Christ.... I don't know if you've have a long, loving relationship or anything so far, but anybody who would treat his girlfriend like that deserves to masturbate to porn for the rest of his delusional loser life anyway. He'll probably be happier that way.
Jesus Christ, what a womanly thing to say. If you aren't going to support each other then you aren't really looking for a relationship. It's give-and-take, not take-and-take-and-take-and-take.
>mfw there are girls this pathetic and lacking in self-respect as to not drop the loser on the spot
>>16596579
>treating your partner poorly makes you alpha
>treating your partner well makes you beta
Are you literally retarded?
Sounds like an asshole to me. Stop letting it bother you and find someone else.
>>16596529
Here's the thing. Don't give a blow job if you don't want to give a blow job.
Guys can tell when the girl doesn't want it, and if she's not into it, the mood will be awful, and the bj will be ruined.
The reaction of your bf, was frankly pretty funny from an outsiders perspective, but likely is quite abusive.
As others have said. This is probly beyond salvaging, but for future relationships, if you get home from a long day of work and don't feel remotely horny, don't give a fuckin' blow job.
>>16596529
>I don't know what to say
"Keep your cock, we're over."
>>16596529
I've once blown away half a gram of cocaine
>>16596555
Really, OP? No response?
I think I'm seeing the light here.
>>16604791
Who are you?
>>16596559
Yeah, I'm sure you're a connoisseur of dick sucking!
Fucking dump his ass. Seriously, there's no excuse for that sort of behavior. He's a fucking shitlord.
I don't care if it was the worst blowjob in the world, he could've handled the situation differently than that. He could've made suggestions, or tried to switch to something else entirely. Or, if he totally was no longer in the mood, he could've just said it wasn't working and then had a talk with you about it.
But instead, he intentionally tried to make you feel terrible about this.
Yeah, I know /adv/ is pretty quick to hit people with the "dump them!" bomb, but if my girlfriend said anything that deliberately humiliating to me I'd seriously break up with her on the spot. Conversely if I said anything like that to my girlfriend I'd expect to get fucking slapped. And then dumped about three seconds later.
People say shitty things by mistake sometimes and it's usually not worth breaking up over them. Yelling something hurtful in the middle of an argument is a mistake. What your boyfriend said was cold and calculated, not a mistake. I think it speaks to a serious lack of character. I think there's actually something wrong with him.
>I'm taking this cock away from you
My god I would laugh at that idiot. Dump him.
>>16596546
I completely agree with this. Let it pass he was probably in a bad mood.
>>16600545
Woman detected
>>16596560
Because bad relationships are not worth keeping.
Holding on to a bad relationship comes from a very needy, and therefore unhealthy, state of mind.
>>16605719
Trying to picture how that would go in basically any of my relationships.
>"no, no, no ... this isn't working for me. I'm taking this cock away from you."
>look of incredulity followed by snort of laughter
>"the actual fuck did you just say?"
>"I just said ..."
>"you know, we could make this a no-blowjob relationship if they're that bad."
I guess that makes me a beta. Just kidding, I'm just not a douche and the girls I date aren't doormats.
Why is this thread still alive jesus fuck
>>16606415
I think its strucken a cord with a lot of the users on this board since it would seem a good chunk of them have been in abusive situations themselves in the past
