How do I live alone?
I don't mean "How do I live in my own home" or "I want to be left alone forever and off the grid" or whatever the fuck.
I mean not have people fucking bug me. I am good at my job, I enjoy my coworkers, but when I leave work I do not want to have to interact with anybody else until it is absolutely necessary, such as if I break my spine and am no longer able to move myself.
It feels like I'm getting dragged into some bullshit by somebody I know or one of my parents. Receiving a text for me is now an immediate pang of "Great, what the fuck is it now"
I've tried to retract as much as I can but it doesn't seem to have helped.
>>16588023
retract directly instead of passively, it's the only way if passively retracting as much as possible didn't work. putting yourself first isn't being a dick.
>>16588043
Right but how to do that?
>When do you want to have dinner this week?
Is impossible to say "no" to without being a dick.
Even if I just make up an excuse like "This week doesnt work" they always follow up with "OH WHATS GOING ON IS EVERYTHING GOOD WHAT ABOUT NEXT WEEK"
It's an endless fucking nag loop.
>>16588023
what kind of bullshit? like drama? or just like "hey anon come help me move" "hey anon we're having a party come hang out" kinda stuff?
>>16588057
Help me move and come party are two very different things man.
>>16588057
Either and any.
>>16588066
I know that, I'm talking about the general category of social obligations vs. the general category of drama bullshit that people love to drag other people into. they require slightly different approaches.
Alright, I've done it, sorta.....
1. Never tell anybody where you live, especially coworkers. Not even the general area.
2. Shop late at night far from home.
3. Have a dive bar you go to that nobody you know would ever set foot in.
4. Stay off social media, at least with your real name. Best if none of your usernames match.
5. Never introduce people you know to other people you know.
6. Patronize takeout places, not sit down restaurants.
>>16588023
Can't. You're a part of society, and expected to be social. It's too bad you can't appreciate being liked and asked for by others.
Besides, voluntary isolation rapidly degenerates to involuntary isolation. One day you will want to do something social and have nobody left to hang out with, your social skills have deteriorated, and your interests have taken a turn for the niche and odd. That is a very dark place that all too many 4channers know intimately
>>16588099
> It's too bad you can't appreciate being liked and asked for by others.
I fully appreciate it.
In the same way I appreciate the drawing a toddler might give you.
Very sweet of them, but it's still garbage, and I do not want it.
And it's not like I'm trying to retreat into my basement to never emerge. I have no problem running errands or socializing at work. But I do not enjoy being contacted in my own home.
7. Park your car out of sight of major roads, if possible.
8. Invent cousins that are always demanding of your free time. "Can't go, my cousin needs me to help him fix his garage roof."
9. With relatives, invent a girlfriend who is always demanding of your free time. Or a weekend job.
>>16588085
>>16588098
this anon knows what's up
>>16588099
this anon knows what's up too. there's nothing wrong with needing time to yourself. some people just need a huge amount of down time away from people. but try to maintain at least one or two friendships and a couple family ties.
the best way to do this is distance yourself somewhat, and gradually, but don't cut ties. accept offers of social interaction sometimes, but gradually increase the frequency with which you say "I can't, sorry, I have plans" or cut text conversations short. eventually those people won't contact you as much. you can do this with your parents without your relationship deteriorating too much. with friends, maybe pick one friend that you usually say yes to. preferably one who isn't demanding and who doesn't mind long periods of silence.
10. Get a landline that you screen calls on. If necessary, have your cell forward to this landline when it is off, and always keep your cell off when you can.
>>16588085
>>16588098
>>16588115
>>16588132
I believe I shall write these down on some business cards, save the ones that involve lying.
Stop using your cellphone. If you can't "strictly" stop using it, then don't tell anyone your number, just say that you don't have one and never let anyone see you using your phone. However, I bet is too late for that now, so tell people your cellphone is not working anymore and that you doubt you'll buy another one. At least that way people can't bother you when you're alone and happy.
>>16588085
anon, I need to know who drew this. It's maddening
>>16588229
http://www.sciencephoto.com/media/29049/view
>>16588219
For a few years I found my phone really irritating and a lot of days I didn't feel like talking to people. So I turned the sound of.
I still kept in touch with people occasionally, so I kept all my friends, but I more or less "conditioned" people into not calling me.
I still do this some days (very rarely though) and if someone asks I just say I didn't hear the phone or simply that I didn't feel like talking to anyone that day.
If you want to be more polite, try explaining to people you have periods of time when you need to be alone.
Or simply say you feel stressed out by constantly having your phone turned on (there's been a few studies about this causing stress etc, shouldn't be a completely alien concept to people) and therefore turn it off / turn the sound of after work to get some time to relax and not become a wreck or w/e. You get the point.
>>16588023
The best thing to do is set up boundaries. Be upfront with people. If you feel like someone is dragging you into drama, just let them know you aren't interested. If they keep contacting you after that you can either (1) ignore their attempts or (2) be more firm or bitchy.
I also hate getting texts. I always let people know that I DO NOT text even though my phone accepts texts. I use email only. Not texting, skype, facebook, twitter, or any of that other crap. Email only. The great thing is that almost no one else uses email for personal communication, so I rarely get messages - and those are usually from people I want to keep in touch with.
At the same time, people are needy and will always try for your attention. I feel your pain. Just be firm about your boundaries.
