Hi guys, so lately my boyfriend has been distant, and has at one point said that he needed some space.
So I gave him his space (which sucks I miss him) and spent time talking to friends and plays stupid video games.
Some of my friends are like "Anon! If he wants space he wants to break up!!" And that has been bothering me and I had a few nightmares about it.
I told him about the dreams and he said "about that..we need to talk..." And then 3 seconds later he texted "I wanna marry you" and my friend said he probably felt bad for saying that and changed it to the married thing.
But so far, he's told me he's happy with the amount of space I've been giving him. He's even starting to text me first and act a little flirty again.
So, should I be scared or are things looking up. My friends swear up and down when you get to the needing space stage its over...
>>16583100
GIVE THE MAN HIS FUCKING SPACE!
when i say i want some space i mean i want some fucking space. men are not like women. much simpler.
It depends on your relationship. If you were overly clingy and you gave him a healthy breathing room, it's going to be ok. If not, then your friends are right and he got enough of you but he wants you let off gently.
>>16583111
I have been giving him a lot of space, I only text him if he text first. Sometime I call him if I need something but we don't talk long. I don't plan on really talking to him much until we go back to college after break.
>>16583128
We live together so he was always around me. I was super clingy because we were long distance at first, so I guess I let it affect me a lot.
>my boyfriend has been distant
What do you mean by this? Like, how distant was he? Avoid you for days kind of distant or he just didn't talk too much?
>>16583147
>I was super clingy because we were long distance at first
Then you shouldn't worry about it.
>>16583165
He wouldnt talk to me as much, didn't tell me why either and said he didn't want to talk about it. He told me why eventually and it was because he wanted time to himself but didn't want to hurt my feelings saying so.
it's not as much a male thing i imagine but an introvert thing. give space to the introvert! and be glad he asks for it. ever since i moved in with my gf all i crave is space. i used to have like 80% of my awake time alone and 100% of my sleep time alone. now it's 10% of my awake time and 0% of my sleep time. i can't take it for long. i found that i can function pretty well if i have at least 2 days a week to myself. 3 days is ideal tho.
>>16583184
Well people do need some time for themselves, constantly talking to someone can get tiring. Especially introverts can get "bored" of a person if they interact with them all the time, no matter how much they care about them and like them. This isn't indefinite, they will still want to be with them after they spend some time in solitude, but being with someone all the time can make them uncomfortable. Still, your boyfriends actions seem quite strange, at least those texts. Since he said he wants to marry you he probably doesn't think about breaking up or anything like that, even if he didn't really mean it and was just a way to not hurt your feelings. You just don't say that to a person you can't see a future with. My guess is that he's somewhat confused, maybe it's his first serious relationship and he's not used to the idea, or something like that. Unless he actually starts ignoring you for long periods of time I think you shouldn't look too much into it.
Threaten to break up with him, make him think he's losing you instead of the other way around.
He's trying to manipulate you, so the best thing to do is use mind games and make him feel as bad as possible.
Threaten suicide, blame, fake police reports, etc. Whatever you need to do.
>>16583309
Wtf
>>16583309
>women
Don't listen to your friends, they are idiots
Stop listening to those idiots or they will ruin your entire relationship
And you stop being an idiot for listening to them
>>16583309
good lord don't do this
even if he is manipulating you, nothing makes drama worse than adding more drama on top of it.
>>16583252
I get the same way with people but he's such an exception so I could talk to him all day if I wanted, but yeah I talked to him for the first time after 2 days. I'll shot for the stars and give him 3 days off.
>>16583289
We've had have a marriage talk plenty of times before, we agreed we wanted to get married but after we are 25 and have steady jobs. This is his first serious relationship, we've been together for 2 years and living together for about 8 months.
Here's the text by the way.
>>16583309
Lol nooo
>>16583333
I'm actually a guy.
>>16583345
I'm talking about a dream in the first text by the way.
>>16583346
You have shit ideas
>>16583345
If you don't want to take my advice then you're a whore that should be used. You don't want any power to yourself and that's fine. Get trampled on like a baby.
Anyone that tries to get the upper hand of you should be punished. Why wouldn't you? Like if someone tries to pick your pocket, you stab them if you can get away with it. You know?
But you probably won't. You're probably born into the mindset of a slave, to be someones bitch.
>>16583351
I guarantee I'm more intelligent and successful than you. Plus, happier I bet.
>>16583346
You're actually b8
>>16583100
I think you're reading into it too much. Most men mean exactly what they say. "I need some space" probably means "I really really like you but I still need some time to myself/with my friends." There's nothing wrong with that. I think your friends are completely wrong on this one. If he wants space give him space.
>>16583355
We got a sociopath over here
Watch that edge
>>16583378
Wake me up inside.
>>16583345
Well at this point I think you're just a little paranoid. Just to help you ease off, have a talk with him about it. Tell him your concerns and ask him if he sees any problems in your relationship, but be sure to make it clear that you will give him space if that's what he wants. Being honest and straight-forward is always the best way to treat these situation as it can help you spot a problem early on and start working on it before it's too late. Or it will help you cut your losses if it's too late, but I doubt that's the case.
>>16583355
Shhh~
>>16583368
That's a good way to look into it. My friends are paranoid and think all guys are up to something. Ever since I gave him space he's been really nice and happy and talkative. Kinda feels like the honeymoon phase again.
this
>>16583368
I had a girlfriend who demanded literally 90% of my free time to be spent with her.
>uni
>after that till evening
>spend night there or in my place
>repeat next day
>repeat next week
>repeat next month
Everyone needs space for hobbies and friends that are not you. This is especially important if you have the same job/school and if you also live together as there is no "natural" escape. Fuck even my parents who couldn't be happier have some separate hobbies, father works with horses and mother does gardening and pilates or something like that.
>>16583345
I don't think he means he literally wants to marry you right then and there, but rather that he wishes to marry at some point and still loves you as much as ever.
>>16583355
You realize most people think of it the opposite way right? If she did what you said she'd be called a whore.
>>16583100
It doesn't mean it's over necessarily. People will always say it does but it varies and is dependent on both your personalities and the current state of your relationship.
If he's introverted, he probably needs some space so he doesn't feel suffocated. This is especially true if you are someone who is extroverted or constantly smothering him with attention. Or if you guys have been going through a rough period, he may just need time to clear his head.
Either way, the fact that he's talking to you again, being the one who initiates conversations and the whole marrying thing are good signs.
If you are clingy, just stay aware that some people share that while others need space from it every once in awhile. Sounds lied he just needed some room to breathe and do his own thing.
>>16583100
I was once in love with a girl.
It was long distance
We were happy together, but people kept telling me it will never work! It will never work! Get a real relationship!
So listening to all the others and me feeling bad because she was playing an online game and not really talking to me that much anymore I broke up with her.
I woke up 6 years later. And realised that that was the realest and truest love I ever had.
I wish I didn't listen to other people, and I really wish I talked to her about it instead of all my friends.
I learned that friends interfere with a relationship. He's spending more time with his friends then you'd like. And your friend is sowing the seeds of doubt in your mind just like my friends did.
In a relationship it is really important to communicate with your partner.
Tell him how you really feel, tell him that you're lonely if you feel that way, tell him you are worried, let him know you like to spend more time with him, but let him know for sure.
Give him space for now, but soon you have to talk to him or the relationship will fracture.
Don't be like me and listen to your friends about your relatuonship.. Sometimes they dont have your best intrest in mind.
I really regret the past and can't do anything to change it, but you have the oppertunity to fix things Anon.
Don't give up on love
I fucking HATE it when people say they "Need space" without giving reason why.
It's such a shifty fucking sentence and simply giving a reason why would alleviate SO much anxiety from the other side.
People like that need to be exiled.
>>16583100
Seriously this OP >>16583646
While friends can see stuff from an outside prospective and sometimes give decent advice, they also often have a tendency to sow doubt and interfere in relationships where they don't like or "approve of" their friend's partner. And it's fucking disgusting.
I see a group of people I call friends do this to eachother all the time. And when you listen to them, you realize they only voice their opinions regarding things they don't like about your partner and never anything positive.
Friends can be the most detrimental thing to a relationship if you let them influence you. I always have to keep them in check and warn them to stay out of mine and each other's relationship. They don't know everything that goes on in everyone's personal life and honestly, it's none of their business.
>>16583648
you nigger people need space because they feel entrapped and need space.
it's like you are saying you hate people that want to breath without giving you a reason for it.
>>16583648
How can you explain though? You just feel like being alone.
>>16583692
>>16583693
No, it's a clearly suspicious saying. If you give a reason behind it it's less suspicious, and if you say it's because the partner is being too clingy and that they don't intend to break up with them, just have some alone time, then it's infinitely better for everyone.
Faggots that leave it as a mystery are a disease,
>>16583345
>purposely jokes about breaking up just to scare you
wtf
