How do you handle anger, /adv/? I've never really had to deal with it before (the most I've ever been is really annoyed) but recently my boyfriend cheated on me and then dumped me in a pretty shitty way, and I'm constantly getting these flashes of rage.
It mostly just results in me being a lot meaner to people at work than I should be. I don't like the way I'm acting. What works for you guys?
>>16580563
exercise, sports, writing, aggressive music
try joining boxing, you'll have a great outlet for your anger and you'll get into shape
also sorry about your ex, he sounds like a serious douchecanoe
>>16580563
Kick and punch the ever loving shit out of a punching bag.
>>16580567
I'm a little insecure about working out in front of other people but boxing sounds very effective! I'll give it a try, thanks.
>>16580583
it usually takes me months or years but i eventually get to the point where i realize the only way i knew how to deal with the pain was anger. in reality though, it's sadness at the deepest level. i don't normally smoke weed, but when I did when i was in a similar situation it became really clear. you could just as easily sit there for a bit each day and think about how you feel emotionally without putting anything to words. that's what made me understand my emotions concerning my problems.
an additional way to help cope is some good aggressive music though, that's helped me a lot over the years. give between the gardens that bathe in blood by TTEOTD, day in black by JFAC, and abyssal creation by TTEOTD a try (just search that on youtube)
exercise is another good idea. even if it's not boxing, running gets to be pretty demanding and tiring, therefore distracting. walking helps me clear my thoughts as well
>>16580668
I appreciate this.
It really isn't sadness for me though, it's a very resolute hatred. The guy fucked up my life and doesn't even feel properly remorseful. I cried on and off for about the first week and now all that's left is an urge to light his house on fire.
I honestly never considered angry music before, I'll look up those songs.
>>16580689
i've been depressed since having to go through the educational system, so when i came across music in middle school every one of my favorite songs became fast, metal songs that i could relate to emotionally and that built to a climax which made it feel like the songs were really meaningful.
it's hard to pick out ones for someone when i don't know their taste but also try freak gasoline fight accident by it dies today (the one with the red cross on the cover) . that band got me into metal because the singer has such a beautiful voice - and he sings in that song as with all songs. another song to try in efforts of potentially relating to your tastes is schlaf kindlein schlaf by wbtbwb - if you like electro music because it's half that and half metal.
and i can't speak for everyone, but the times i've gone into a deep, deep state as i have been in the worst states of my life as a result of what happened to me, everything i ever felt in anger opened up the sadness inside and it poured out of me in a way that half of my crying was a result of how sorry i felt for any soul who has to go through the experience of anger and the other half for how i felt inside after what happened to me. there's no need for anger in a way, it's just that something bothers us and makes us sad. and then more bothers us and we skip that and just get frustrated because it's too overwhelming, and just get angry over shit when in truth we would be getting sad if we hadn't reached our capacities (just from my understanding and experience - i'm the farthest from trying to say you're wrong in that you're angry. i just felt a universal feeling when my anger melted into sadness so i'm having a hard time not detaching from how emotionally and understanding i felt in that being the truth. and we're not here to have a discussion to prove how i felt to be the case on a wide, wholesome, or individual scale =P)
>>16580783
...came across *this type of music* in middle school
>>16580689
Not the person you were replying to, but it's still sadness anon. It's sadness that your ego is too proud or afraid to feel directly so it coverts it into anger; which is much more malleable and gives you a sense of control. Not that this is shameful or anything, it's all completely natural. Just don't get too angry and give yourself a stomach ulcer like I did. Just weighing in from my years of trying to examine my own depression
Exercise, punching/stabbing pillows or stuffed toys, masturbation.
On a less healthy note, if I'm very angry/frustrated and unable to vent in the above ways, I start scratching or punching my thigh.
>>16580567
>aggressive music
What
The angriest motherfuckers I know listen to death metal and
It
Does
Not
Help
>>16580814
and i fucking hate metal concerts for this reason. there's people who can listen to a great and emotional metal song and cry, and people who can listen to a great metal song and get angry. i'm the type who can cry. if someone is the type who only gets angry, i wish they'd stay away from metal entirely.
smoke crack
>>16580856
Lol hey go back to your power metal shows then you little pussy if you can't take the heat get your ass out the kitchen.
Go jerk off and cry to Edguy faggot.
>>16580814
It's because they get consumed by the anger. People like this are almost never angry or never get mad at little things because their usually edgy faggots who are "Always angry". It's like joining the dark side.
But for op, everything suggested will work, but the rage is just built up pain being released and it wont stop until you get over this break up. Which wont happen overnight, it takes time. Sorry about your situation, but life moves on whether you want to or not and trust me you dont want to move with anyone like that.
