Hey /adv/
So,my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year. When we met, she was a smoker but after things got more serious she promised to quit because I do not tolerate smoking. Problem is, sometimes she still does. Recently I have noticed that when she comes from school, she smells like cigarettes. Once I asked her why and she said that she was with her friend who was smoking, but she didnt. Thats an obvious lie. Some days ago I found a pack of cigarettes in her pocket by accident. She doesnt know that i know. I'm planning to confront her tonight when she comes home.
How should I do it?
TLDR: Gf is still secretly smoking even tho she promised to quit. Help.
If you don't like her why don't you just break up with her? Why is she obligated to change for you?
>>16579486
I know you're still smoking sometimes. I've found a pack in your pocket, you smell like it when you come home certain days. You know how I feel about it. What's going on? Do you need me to help in some way? Get some gum or therapist or something?
Then you have a back and forth. Don't back her into a corner. Instead, confront and offer solutions. If she refuses to try the various gums/pills/therapies to quit, you need to decide if you want to keep going with this person.
>>16579489
Yes,I have thought about breaking up with her, but except for this, we are perfect match. Also, she promised to quit without even me insisting it and now it's simply so annoying because 1) shes lying 2) she couldnt keep her promises
>>16579486
Out of curiosity, how/when did you bring up the subject? I'm starting to date a girl who I didn't know was a smoker until things had already gotten far, I'd like to help her quit if she's willing.
Yeah - no. Don't try to change people. Stop that. Immediately
>>16579486
OP is homosexual
ITT:you treat your gf like she was your daughter
>>16579502
Or maybe... nicotine is highly addictive and you're treating this as her decision without factoring that in? As a non smoker you really have no idea what it's like.
>>16579503
I belive we just hanging out and I noticed she was smoking too much. So I told her that and we started talking about the subject. My main argument was that for a non-smoker, she smells just awful after a cigarette.
>>16579509
Yeah... no.She can be without one for days without any problem. Problem is that for I know, almost all her friends smoke.
>>16579517
I reiterate, you know nothing about the hold an addiction has on you.
Look,she's obviously going to keep it up and smoke seldomly. She isn't doing it around you out of respect for you. What she does to herself on her own time is up to her. If you don't like it you can leave. It's not up to you to decide what she can and can't do.
>>16579521
This.
I use to smoke and occasionally I still do, when I'm out drinking or I'm crazy stressed. Quitting is not as easy as it seems and just because she can go a couple of days without one doesn't mean she doesn't want to throat punch you for a cigarette if given the chance.
>>16579486
dont be a dick about it. quitting cigarettes is difficult, trust me on that. approach her with concern, not anger. try to help her, dont just demand that she stop. maybe have her look into electronic cigarettes, that worked for me.
She's not going to change for you. Addictions are one hell of a beast. Either deal with it or break up.
>>16579897
here
After reading the thread it's obvious that you have no idea what addiction is like, OP. Gotta echo the other anons in this thread.
>>16579897
pretty much that.
She might change, but if you're banking on that, you will not be happy.
Strangely enough, if you accept the fact she's a smoker, she'll be slightly more likely to quit.
And some statistics:
-as a female smoker, she's more likely to cheat on you
-she's already lying to you about it, which increases the chances some more.
-you're being a bitch and not a man about it, which is actually very unattractive in a man. Bump it up a couple percent.
-you've been together for less than a year
All in all, pretty good odds she's had more than just fags in her mouth.
You think you could handle that?
Leave. Now. And stop being a bitch.
You should break up with her, not because of the smoking addiction but because of the straight-faced lying.
Grown adults should have the fortitude to stand up for their decisions, even the bad ones.
>>16579914
so, do you cry any time you find out someone lied to you?
>>16579918
I cry sometimes when I'm laying in bed, just to get it all out what's in my head
I would confront her about it. And make sure you let her know that you are upset about it. But at the same time offer your support, ask her how you can help her quit. If she really wants to quit she will be happy to have your support.
>>16579486
Went through this with my wife.
Quitting isn't easy. I learned the hard way you can't MAKE someone quit. She can only quit when she is ready to and even then it will be damn hard.
>>16579502
Fuck off and just break up with her you cunt. She is a smoker, she'll stop when she wants to. You sound like the same naggy cunts that come on here crying about this shit. If you didn't bust her balls over smoking all the time she'd probably tell you the truth.
This is the first time I've heard a dude crying over this.
Break up fag, she won't stop just because you want her too, the same way I won't stop just because my girl wants me to. I used to smoke every day and now I'm down to only smoking a pack when I drink which can be twice a month or after couple of months. She knows and she doesn't bitch at me about it even though she dislikes it.
I tell her all the time, if you hate my smoking just a fucking leave. We've compromised to a degree I guess but this is as good as it will get for her, and I like being able to smoke when I drink, and even though I have cut down a lot, I can still smoke when I damn please, but I'll brush my teeth and shower before kissing or laying down with her out of respect.
>>16579952
you mean "we" cut down, don't you, anon?
